I went gray at a premature age,
But embraced it and hoped to look sage.
For a lawyer sans penis
Back then? Mars v. Venus!
Young, female, and short — NOT the rage!
Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category
A Hairy Tale (Limerick)
Friday, April 19th, 2024Balls! (Limerick)
Friday, April 5th, 2024It is National Volleyball Day.
Will I celebrate? No! Never! Nay!
I’ve a life-long approach
To all balls that encroach:
Duck and hide, if one’s coming my way.
Wanderlust? Not Me! (Limerick)
Sunday, March 24th, 2024I’ve no need to go hither and yonder,
For I never have lusted to wander.
I prefer to stay home,
Where no antelopes roam.
Of the views at “Chez Kane” I’m far fonder.
My Unathletic Career (Limerick)
Saturday, March 16th, 2024My endurance in gym class was poor.
I was slow, klutzy, small, and what’s more,
The mere sight of a ball
Made me duck. After all,
My two goals were “Break nothing! Don’t score!”
My Spelling Bee Plight
Friday, November 24th, 2023My dear husband will freely admit:
About spelling Mark doesn’t know shit.
Yet he speedily sees
The Bee’s pangrams with ease…
While I languish — a pangram-less twit.
I’m Interviewed by Michael Croland of Dover Publications, on the Topic of Acrostic Limericks
Friday, April 21st, 2023I was honored to be interviewed by Michael Croland, of Dover Publications, on the topic of Acrostic Limericks. His piece includes eight of my acrostic limericks, in addition to my thoughts about the challenges of adding an acrostic element to a verse form that already has more than its share of rhyme and meter rules.
So, if you have any interest in acrostic limericks, or acrostic poetry in general, you should enjoy Croland’s article, “ACROSTIC LIMERICKS: A HYBRID OF TWO FORMS.”
NOTE: Croland’s most recent book, There Once Was a Limerick Anthology, was published by Dover Publications in August 2022, and his next book, Acrostic Poetry: The First-Ever Anthology, will be published by Dover in August 2023.
Limerick Ode To Hubby’s Broccoli
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2023I used to hate brocc’li. No more!
It’s a food that I’ve come to adore.
But only if made
By my Mark: Well-sautéed,
Hot and spicy, and garlicked full-bore.
Happy “We Love Broccoli Day!” (March 22)
Unadventurous Limerick
Monday, March 13th, 2023An adventurous person? Hee-hee!
I’m a bit of a coward, you see.
So to physical risks,
I say “No!” All my discs
And my bones seem essential to me.
More Life With Mark And Madeleine
Tuesday, January 10th, 2023Happy Birthday To My Great Husband Mark (Limerick)
Saturday, July 9th, 2022Happy birthday, dear hubby! Have fun!
You’re the best husband under the sun!
And PLEASE don’t feel stiffed,
But this lim’rick’s my gift.
(Aren’t you happy you wed a “Begun?”)
Birthday Limerick For My Dear Brother, Arthur
Wednesday, April 6th, 2022It’s your birthday, dear brother, so try
To have fun. (Maybe even get high.)
And I also must say
On this wonderful day:
How dare you be younger than I!
My Brother’s Rabbit Habit (Limerick)
Sunday, January 30th, 2022My brother (Arthur Begun) and his wife (Janet) are both animal lovers. So this limerick tale is true:
My brother feeds bunnies for fun.
Though they’re wild, they stand by and don’t run;
As he doles out each plate,
They expectantly wait
For their carrots, till dinner is done.
Blind To The Truth (Limerick)
Monday, September 6th, 2021This is a true, personal story. And it remains a vivid memory:
My teacher in pre-school would whine:
“Is your coloring off by design?
You must crayon within
The lines, or your kin
Will be called. I am drawing the line!”
Seems it never occurred to my teacher
That I’m naught but a near-sighted creature,
Who could NOT see those lines.
She missed all the signs.
To this day, I would love to impeach her.
Birthday Limerick For Hubby Mark
Friday, July 9th, 2021Here’s a birthday limerick for my husband Mark, in response to his joking (I hope) query: “Mad, it’s my Birthday, and I’m feeling a bit down, so would it be OK if I visited our local ecdysiast?”
Happy birthday to Mark! You’re the best!
Though you’re old, you still live life with zest.
I am joking, of course;
If you’re old, I perforce
Am antique. (So no dancers undressed!)
Happy 41st Wedding Anniversary To My Husband Mark (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 4th, 2019Happy 41st wedding anniversary to my wonderful husband Mark!
Married 41 years! Can it be?
Seems impossible! I can still see
My first vision of you
On that train. What a view!
Very soon, you and I became … WHEE!
Meeting Anniversary Limerick (Two-Verse)
Saturday, April 20th, 2019It’s been forty-two years since I met
My dear spouse. (No, we weren’t wed yet.)
My then husband-to-be
Swiftly said: “Marry ME!”
I agreed (making friends lose a bet.)
For my failure to date or to mingle
Made people assume I’d stay single.
I’d at best be a “beard,”
And to most I appeared
No more likely to wed … than be NINGAL*.
*NINGAL: “Sumerian goddess, whose name means Great Lady, the wife of the moon god…”
More Life With Mark and Madeleine
Tuesday, February 19th, 2019Life With Mark and Madeleine:
Mark: Which band is this?
Madeleine: Damn! I need a hint.
Mark: If I phrase it differently, I’ll give it away.
Madeleine: What a great hint!
Mark: What???
Madeleine: No, “Who!”
More Life With Mark And Madeleine
Monday, November 26th, 2018Mark: Alexa says it isn’t going to rain.
Madeleine: Alexa needs to get out more.
*****
Mark: I’m going to reformat and re-post “Life With Mark and Madeleine” of yours from last year.” Is that ok?
Madeleine: Be careful about wearing out your welcome.
Mark: But it was very popular! I’m gonna do it.
Madeleine: Whatever…
Mark: Thanks for your permission.
Madeleine: It wasn’t permission. It was a sigh of helplessness and hopelessness.
*****
Life With Mark and Madeleine:
Madeleine: We have to throw out your Romaine lettuce.
Mark: Why?
Madeleine: There’s another E. coli scare.
Mark: Damn! I just had Romaine in my Greek salad.
Madeleine: How’s your stomach.
Mark: Fine … until now.
*****
Mark: Did you know you can ask Alexa to tell you a story?
Madeleine: I hear enough stories from you.
*****
Madeleine: Are we in the middle of a “Masters Of Sex” episode?
Mark: No, we finished it.
Madeleine: What’s the last thing you remember?
Mark: Finishing it.
*****
Madeleine: “Alexa, bake one potato.”
Alexa: “Hmmm, I don’t know that.”
Madeleine: That’s because you aren’t a microwave.
Mark: Don’t be mean to Alexa!
*****
A Good Holiday To Skip (Limerick)
Sunday, April 22nd, 2018It’s “Send Your Man Nudes Day.” Oy Vey!
Will I celebrate THAT one? No way!
I’m too old for that stuff,
So no pics in the buff!
I’ll forgo risking cyber-display.
Send Your Man Nudes Day falls on April 22 each year.
