Archive for the ‘Mothers & Fathers Humor’ Category
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008
A new limerick, haiku, and senryu prompt (at long last) whose theme is jewelry, crafts, and engagements. First, my limerick:
Engagement Bling
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I’m engaged,” said the gal to her mom.
“I’m in love and I’m marrying Tom.”
“But I don’t see a ring,”
Said her mom. “Get some bling.
Until then, I intend to stay calm.”
And now my haiku (senryu):
Craft show earrings
Once adorned the riverfront
And now grace my lobes.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about jewelry, crafts, or engagements. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until September 5th to post it.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your jewelry, crafts, and engagement-related verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
UPDATE 2: National Jewel Day is March 13th.
Tags: Crafts Fair, Earrings Haiku, Engagement Ring, Fashion Verse, Haiku Prompts, Jewel Day, Jewelry Humor, Love Humor, March Holidays, Mom Limerick, National Jewel Day, Odd Holidays, Writing Prompts
Posted in Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Fashion Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Romance Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, June 13th, 2008
Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is furniture and furnishings. First, my limerick:
Quick Story
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Quick story,” my husband declares.
“It’s short — I’m not kidding,” he swears.
But I know that he’s wrong.
He’ll be witty, but long.
How I wish I could find us some chairs.
And now two haiku (senryu):
Dad climbs into bed.
His poodle growls in protest.
Their turf war begins.
Sixty-year-old chair,
still covered in plastic,
protected from life.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about furniture and furnishings. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.
(Note: My poems were inspired by these three prompts: “being told a story,” “pets,” and “father / find.”)
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your furniture and furnishings verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
UPDATE 2: World Storytelling Day falls on the spring equinox in the northern hemisphere.
Tags: Furnishings Humor, Furniture Verse, Husband Humor, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Poodle Haiku, Short Story, Storytelling Day, Vernal Equinox, World Storytelling Day, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor | 14 Comments »
Friday, January 4th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is lies and deception. First, my limerick:
“Your excuse simply can’t be believed.
You’re a liar! I feel quite deceived,”
Said the gal, as she wept,
To her lover, who’d slept
With her mother. (I guess she was peeved.)
And now, my haiku:
People who maintain
That they are always honest
Are surely lying.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about lies and deception. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.
(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)
UPDATE: April 23 is Lover’s Day
Tags: April Holidays, Betrayal, Deception, Lies, Lover's Day, Lover's Quarrel, Odd Holidays, Relationship Haiku
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, November 12th, 2007
This week’s theme over at BlogFriday is annoyances, and I’m betting this scenario will ring a bell:
One Of These Days, I’ll Actually Say This (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We’re annoyed by your motormouth child.
He is boist’rous and noisy and wild.
So please put a lid
On your rude, rowdy kid.
Cuz, trust me, we aren’t beguiled.
Tags: Annoyances Limerick, Badly Behaved Child, Children Humor, Misbehaving Kids, Parenting Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor | 5 Comments »
Sunday, November 4th, 2007
Charge! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“A charge account’s wrong to its core,”
Said the dad, who paid cash at each store.
Then a flight was near barred
By the lack of a card,
Until “Here,” said his teen, “I have four.”
Author’s Note: This limerick is loosely based on personal experience. My now 92 year old father used to strongly disapprove of charge accounts. But one day, many years ago, he had to book an emergency plane trip over the phone and was stymied by his lack of a charge card. Fortunately, I had a charge account, even though I was an unemployed college student. So I proudly saved the day, and my father became an immediate charge card convert.
(You can find more of my money humor and verse here.)
Tags: Borrowing Money, Charge Account, Charge Card Humor
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Travel Humor | 9 Comments »
Monday, August 20th, 2007
It’s mid-August, which means back-to-school day is just around the corner. And that in turn means it’s time to start shopping for school supplies: rulers and notebooks and pens and lunch boxes and calculators and computers and school clothes and … bulletproof backpacks???
“We’re just trying to give kids a defensive tool to use in case something does happen,” Curran said of the backpacks, which sell for $175 US. …
Since they started selling online last week, they’ve sold out of their initial stock of several hundred backpacks and are now ordering a new shipment from Massachusetts.
Methinks this calls for a limerick:
Bulletproof Backpacks: In Case Your Kid’s Classmate Is Packing
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Selling bulletproof backpacks? How sad!
Could the safety of schools be so bad,
That parents must buy
Such an item? Oh my!
Are they needed, or just a mad fad?
(You can find more of my school and education humor here.)
Tags: Back To School, Bulletproof Backpacks, Education Limerick, School Safety, School Supplies, Schooling Satire
Posted in Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Guns & Safety Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Polls, Shopping Humor | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Introducing your gal to your mom?
Are you worried your intro will bomb?
Well here’s some advice
So the meeting goes nice:
First tell her your date’s name is Tom.
Tags: Dates, Dating, Gender Issues, Introductions, Meetings, Modest Proposal, Moms, Mothers, Parenting, Parents
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor, Social Satire | Comments Off on A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys
Saturday, June 16th, 2007
Married To Money
By Madeleine Begun Kane
He’s a cheapskate, so stingy with cash,
That he threw an embarrassing bash:
When his daughter was wed
He paid eight bucks a head,
So no band, booze, or blooms — only hash.
I have lots more money humor here. And don’t forget to enter my money-themed limerick contest with money prizes. Okay, not a lot of money, but still…
Tags: Cheapskate Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Marriage Limerick, Parenting, Stinginess, Wedding Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor | 3 Comments »
Sunday, May 13th, 2007
Thanks to all of you who participated in this, my second limerick writing contest. (And yes, another contest will be coming soon.)
The response to my Mother’s Day limerick contest exceeded my wildest hopes – 87 poems were submitted. Your delightful entries and enthusiasm has made this a fun experience for me and, I hope, for you.
Before I announce the winners, I want to thank contest sponsor Billy Jones a/k/a Billy The Blogging Poet, who is providing prize matching funds.
And speaking of prizes, I’m awarding (including the matching funds) a First Prize ($50 in PayPal cash), a Second Prize ($20 in PayPal cash), and four Honorable Mentions. And the winners are…
FIRST PRIZE goes to Mephistopheles for a limerick that made me laugh out loud:
When you’re shrunk by one shrink or another,
‘Cause you’re pissed at your sister or brother,
Does your tongue tend to trip
In a Freudian slip—
Saying one thing while meaning your mother?
SECOND PRIZE goes to Peter Sheil for this moving tribute to his mother:
“It’s the hospital here, please come fast!”
There we sat, with our thoughts from the past.
At the side of her bed
Nothing more could be said.
One short breath … then one more … then her last.
And four HONORABLE MENTIONS go to (listed in submission order):
Jesse Frankovich:
My mommy is loving and caring,
Only sometimes a bit overbearing:
“Make your bed! Clean your room!
Mow the lawn! Don’t presume
You can play all day long! And stop swearing!”
Stella:
A mother is patient and kind,
Forgiving, forbearing, refined;
But mind if she cracks,
When stressed to the max,
‘Cos she’ll wallop your sorry behind.
BobfromThirsk:
As a baby I loved my dear mother
‘Till she gave me my sweet little brother.
But hang on there mum
What’s that lump in your tum,
O.M.G. is she baking another?
Mary Lou Healy’s The Steamy Novel:
That marvelous mother of mine
Thought my penchant for reading was fine.
She gave me a book.
Before letting me look,
Ripped out eighty through page eighty-nine!
Congratulations to all the winners, and thanks again to everybody who participated. (You can read all of the entries here.)
And please stay tuned — I’ll be announcing another limerick contest very soon right here in this blog — probably mid-June.
Tags: Contest Results, Holiday Verse, Limerick Contest, Mother's Day Limericks, Mothering Day, Prize Winning Limericks
Posted in Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Holiday Humor, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry Contest | 6 Comments »
Sunday, April 29th, 2007
My spring limerick contest was such a success, I’ve decided to hold limerick contests regularly. And it’s time for another one.
So here’s my challenge: Write a limerick related to the subject of mothers and post it here in a comment to this post no later than Saturday, May 12, 2007. I’ll announce the winners on Mother’s Day, May 13, 2007.
The first prize will be $25. The second prize will be $10. Both prizes will be paid via PayPal.
So, what exactly is a limerick? It’s a five line poem with an AABBA rhyme scheme and a very specific meter exemplified by these winning entries. (For more information about limericks check out these fine sites: Encyclospeedia Oedilfica and OEDILF.)
I’m looking forward to reading your entries!
UPDATE: The prize money has just doubled, thanks to a matching funds contest sponsorship by Billy Jones a/k/a Billy The Blogging Poet. Thanks to Billy’s generosity, there now will be $50 in first prize money and $20 in second prize money. Very cool, Billy!
UPDATE 2: This contest is now over, and the winners list and winning entries are posted here. Thanks for your wonderful entries, and stay tuned — another limerick contest is coming soon.
Tags: Limerick Contest, Moms Humor, Mother's Day Limericks, Mothering Day, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Writing Contests
Posted in Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Holiday Humor, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 83 Comments »
Friday, April 13th, 2007
A Doggone Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“It’s so cute!” said the child, with delight.
“You can’t have it,” said Mom. “Puppies bite.
It’s adorable, true,
But dogs nip, bark, and chew,
And your Daddy will cower in fright.”
UPDATE: Happy National Puppy Day! (March 23rd)
Tags: Animal Satire, Child Humor, Family Fun, March Holidays, National Puppy Day, Odd Holidays, Parental Humor, Pet Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, February 2nd, 2007
Practice, Practice, Practice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The teacher called out from his car:
“Ma’am, your daughter’s a driver’s ed star.
Her steering’s quite deft,
She knows right turns from left,
And, with practice, she’s bound to go far.”
(My car humor is collected here.)
Tags: Automobile Humor, Cars, Drivers Ed, Education & School Humor, School Humor, Teachers
Posted in Car & Driving Humor, Education & School Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor | 9 Comments »
Tuesday, October 17th, 2006
“I’m not going in there. No way. Forget it.”
My seventy-something mother’s stance was as rigid as her words; arms folded across her chest, unyielding legs pointed away from the shop I’d just suggested.
She and I had spent the entire afternoon combing through three department stores for the definitive pair of panties. Or at least my mom’s idea of same. This illusive undergarment had to be loose, comfortable, 100% cotton, and totally devoid of lace. And that was just for starters. It also had to completely cover my mother’s hips and come in a large size, the exact number of which she resolutely refused to disclose. … (Secret Shopper is continued here.)
Tags: Clothes Shopping, Clothing Humor, Comfortable Clothing, Department Stores, Mother Humor, Parental Humor, Style Humor, Underwear Humor, Victoria's Secret
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Fashion Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor, Shopping Humor | 10 Comments »
Monday, September 18th, 2006
One afternoon your ten-year old daughter comes home from school, enthused about learning to play an instrument. Your eyeballs start to throb. Your head begins to pulsate. You ask yourself whether tin ears are passed down from parents to their children. How do you resolve this dissonant dilemma?
AGREEMENT entered into on ___________, 20__ , by noise-averse Parents and instrument wielding Child.
WHEREAS, Child has expressed an interest in studying the sax;
WHEREAS, Parents hate the sax and don’t even consider it a real instrument; … (Musical Accord is continued here.)
Tags: Children Humor, Clarinet Humor, Education & School Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Funny Contracts, Music Humor & Verse, Music Lessons, Musical Instruments Humor, Parenting Humor
Posted in Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Satirical Contracts | 11 Comments »
Monday, August 14th, 2006
The “help wanted” pages are filled with job descriptions that defy comprehension. This probably explains why so many parents can’t quite figure out what it is their children do for a living. And it can lead to parental queries like this one from my mother-in-law to my husband Mark:
“Tell me exactly what your job is. Go slowly. I have to write it down.”
Mark hadn’t switched employers or secured a promotion; he’s been doing essentially the same work for ten years. So why the sudden curiosity? Because his parents recently attended a wedding packed with inquisitive relatives. Relatives who appeared to be more interested in Mark’s career than they were in the bride and groom. …
( Parental Proposal is continued here.)
Tags: Relationship Humor, Business Humor, Career Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Job Humor, Mother Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Office Humor, Work Humor, Workplace & Career Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Parental Proposal
Friday, August 11th, 2006
I read recently that elegant dog garb and pricey canine day-care are “in” these days. Frankly, I was pleased to learn this. For until I acquired this seemingly frivolous bit of information, I was seriously concerned about my parents.
My mom and dad bought a toy poodle nearly a decade ago and, almost immediately, my mother took to her knitting. Multi-colored dog coats. Stylish woolen sweaters. Pixie the poodle dressed better than I do.
I wasn’t worried, at first. I just assumed that my mother’s knitting was part of a plot to garner grandchildren. Her unspoken message? “If you and your brother don’t give me a reason to knit booties, I’ll simply knit doggy-wear instead. … (A Poodle Tale is continued here.)
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Dog Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Father Humor, Grandchild Humor, Mother Humor, Parent Humor, Pet Humor, Poodle Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor | 2 Comments »
