It’s National Screwdriver Day.
The drink (not the tool) is at play.
I find vodka too rough.
Orange juice? I rebuff.
But together, great stuff, so hooray!
(Happy National Screwdriver Day, which falls on December 14.)
Archive for the ‘Odd Holidays’ Category
Limerick Ode To The Screwdriver
Tuesday, December 14th, 2021Pastry Day Haiku
Thursday, December 9th, 2021I almost forgot
that today is “Pastry Day.”
That sure takes the cake!
****
December 9 is “National Pastry Day.”
For the record, sticklers would consider my pastry haiku a senryu.
Limerick Ode To Bad Hair
Wednesday, December 8th, 2021Oy! December 8 is “Bad Hair Day!”
“Bad Hair Day’s” today. It’s displeasin’
When your hair appears strangled by teasin’,
Or looks dry and yet oily;
Behaving disloyally!
I’m tempted to cite mine for treason.
A Limerick Ode To Dice
Saturday, December 4th, 2021“Our son has a terrible vice;
He’s a gambler and not very nice.
When we tell him to stop,
He says, ‘Mother and Pop,
All my cards on the table: No dice!'”
(December 4 is “National Dice Day.”)
Ban This Holiday? (Limerick)
Saturday, December 4th, 2021Of the many odd hol’days I find,
There are some that I can’t get behind:
Today’s “Cheater Day!” Why
Salute such a guy?
Oh, it’s “Cheetah” Day? Oops! Never mind!
What’s There To Love About “Chocolates Day?”
Monday, November 29th, 2021In my latest limerick, I condemn yet another holiday:
It is “Chocolates Day.” I decry it!
Only ONE day a year? I don’t buy it!
So let’s sweeten the deal:
“Choc’lates Month” would, I feel,
Surely spice up each meal. Kindly try it.
Limerick Ode To The Horse
Tuesday, November 16th, 2021Happy “Horse Appreciation Day!” (November 16)
I wouldn’t dare ride on a horse.
My back couldn’t take it, of course.
But please do not feast
On that beautiful beast.
Eat horse-meat? Then brace to face force.
A Clarinet Tale (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 16th, 2021Happy “World Clarinet Day!” (November 16)
A woman who played clarinet,
Used vibrato; I’ll never forget,
Cuz the maestro freaked out;
“You’re ousted!”– his shout.
Now she can’t get a gig on a bet.
(For those unfamiliar with the clarinet vibrato issue, clarinet vibrato is generally considered a symphony orchestra no-no, but it’s used in jazz and klezmer music. However, when a symphony orchestra plays something with a jazz influence, such as Gershwin, the occasional exception is made.)
Yet Another Hairy Limerick
Thursday, November 11th, 2021A pissed patron returned to Pierre’s
And demanded free haircut repairs:
“Your stylist destroyed
My look. Fire Floyd!”
The reply? “Kindly stop splitting hairs.”
(Hairstylist Appreciation Day is April 25, and National Hair Day is October 1.)
Limerick Ode To Science
Wednesday, November 10th, 2021A silly limerick to celebrate “World Science Day.” (November 10)
I’m bewildered by scholarly articles
About physics and virtual particles.
Since I’m dense about science,
I’m prone to reliance
On lim’ricks to bolster my smarticles.
Longing For A Bong (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 10th, 2021Happy Bong Day! (November 10)
A singer who longed for a bong
(Though it’s bad for her voice and so wrong)
Called a seller she knew.
They met up at the zoo,
Where a bongload was bought for a song.
Limerick Ode To Cappuccino
Monday, November 8th, 2021Happy “Cappuccino Day!” Of course, I celebrate it EVERY day.
Cappuccino’s my drink — two or three
Ev’ry day, rain or shine, made by ME.
Others make it all wrong;
Much too bitter and strong.
As for Starbucks, not MY cup of tea.
Happy “Abet and Aid Punsters Day!” (Limerick)
Monday, November 8th, 2021Today, November 8, is “Abet and Aid Punsters Day.” So I thought I’d celebrate with a limerick, even though it should really be called “Aid and Abet Punsters Day.”
Though punsters are often accorded
Acclaim for their skill and awarded
Applause for their verse,
Sometimes even a purse,
Grinches bitch that their wordplay is sordid.
Celebrating Sax (Limerick)
Saturday, November 6th, 2021Happy “Sax Day!” And happy birthday to Adolphe Sax, its inventor! (November 6)
A horny musician named Phil
When flirting would trumpet his skill.
But he mispronounced “sax,”
The name of his ax,
So his chance of romance went downhill.
Limerick Ode To “Love Your Lawyer Day” (1st Friday of November)
Friday, November 5th, 2021A lawyer was cooling his heels,
Awaiting the Court of Appeals.
A ruling was due
Any day — one he’d rue:
Soon in prison he’ll take all his meals.
Happy “Love Your Lawyer Day!
“Stress Awareness Day?” Who Needs It? (Limerick) (1st Wednesday of November)
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2021“International Stress Awareness Day” is stressing me out:
Some holidays ought not exist;
“Stress Awareness Day’s” high my list.
Since I’m frequently stressed,
“Bewareness” is best.
So forget that damn day! I insist!
Limerick Ode To “National American Beer Day”
Wednesday, October 27th, 2021Happy “National American Beer Day!” (October 27)
“American Beer Day” is here,
Making many compatriots cheer.
But not ME! “Why?” you ask.
Cuz my drink is a flask
Of tequila. No “Hear, hear!” to beer!
Operatic Limerick
Monday, October 25th, 2021Happy “World Opera Day!” (October 25)
“Sustaining high notes can be hard,”
Said an opera singer who starred
In Norma; she claims
That it’s not fun and games,
But a contest of wills, no holds barred.
Not Kneeling For “Knee Day” (Limerick) (October 22)
Friday, October 22nd, 2021Celebrate “National Knee Day?” Not me!
Say “hip, hip, hooray!” cuz it’s Knee Day?
I don’t find it a Fills-Me-With-Glee day.
Any “climb those stairs” stance
Makes my knees look askance,
So it’s more of a Please-Function-Plea day.
