Limerick Ode To National Nut Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A morsel to chew on: It’s “Nut Day,”
As opposed to, say, “Sit On Your Butt Day.”
It celebrates food—
Not the fruitcakes whose ’tude
Seems deranged, but a “Junk For Your Gut Day.”
Archive for the ‘Odd Holidays’ Category
Limerick Ode To “National Nut Day” (October 22)
Wednesday, October 22nd, 2014Limerick Ode To “Babbling Day” (October 21)
Tuesday, October 21st, 2014Today’s the one day it’s okay to be a blatherskite. Why? Because it’s Babbling Day. Just don’t make a habit of it … like the fellow in my limerick:
Limerick Ode To “Babbling Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who tended to rap
About nonsense was taking a nap.
“I’m so glad he’s asleep,”
Said his wife, “cuz I weep
And I yawn when he babbles that pap.”
Limerick Ode “National Grouch Day” (Oct. 15)
Wednesday, October 15th, 2014Limerick Ode To National Grouch Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I’m loath to complain or to bitch,
When I hear about “Grouch Day,” I twitch.
I think beating the drums
For cantankerous bums
Is absurd! This vile day we must ditch!
Limerick Ode To “Lovable Lawyers Day” (October 8)
Wednesday, October 8th, 2014Limerick Ode To “Lovable Lawyers Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “Lovable Lawyers Day.” Whee!
But this day isn’t greeted with glee.
It seems most people say:
“Love a Lawyer? No Way!”
But what about ex-Esqs … like me?
*****
Alternative Version for “Love Your Lawyer Day” (1st Friday in November)
“Love Your Lawyer Day” most will agree
Isn’t greeted with gusto or glee.
Many clients would say:
“Love my lawyer? No way!”
But what about ex-Esqs … like me?
UK Celebrates National Poetry Day (October 2)
Thursday, October 2nd, 2014The Brits really know how to celebrate poetry.
Limerick Ode To UK’s National Poetry Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I hear tell that today has cachet
In Great Britain — immeas’rable sway.
With much rhyme and good reason
They deem it high treason
Not to celebrate Poetry Day.
Wife Appreciation Day Limerick (3rd Sunday of September)
Wednesday, September 17th, 2014Attention fellows! This coming Sunday is a very important holiday. Yes, I know I’m a bit early. But for a day like this, I’m betting you could use some extra notice: National Wife Appreciation Day.
Limerick Ode To Wife Appreciation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On September’s third Sunday it’s wise
To appreciate wives. They’re a prize
You should cherish and treasure.
They give so much pleasure.
Beg pardon? RESPECTIVE wives, guys!
Sex Post Facto (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 19th, 2014Sex Post Facto (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
What’s the worst you can say after sex?
That question continues to vex.
But you’ll soon be a loner
With this little boner:
“You’re not even as good as my ex.”
UPDATE: June 9 is National Sex Day.
Limerick Ode To A Petty Thief (Limerick)
Monday, August 18th, 2014What sort of burglar sends stolen jewelry to a newspaper, complaining that the stuff he stole from a socialite turned out to be fake?
Limerick Ode To A Petty Thief (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bad luck has befallen this snake,
Who’s upset by his jew’lry heist take!
His chagrin is immense
Cuz he called on his fence
And was told that his haul was all fake.
UPDATE: National Jewel Day is March 13th.
Limerick For National Rum Day
Saturday, August 16th, 2014Happy National Rum Day! (August 16)
Limerick For National Rum Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal called her husband a lout
And threatened to highball it out
If he kept drinking rum.
He at first was struck dumb,
Then obligingly switched up to stout.
Bar Talk (Limerick)
Friday, August 1st, 2014Bar Talk Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man had enjoyed a good year
And was trying to spread some good cheer.
But others whose luck
Had been worse said, “Hey schmuck,
Just stop talking and pay for our beer.”
Happy International Beer Day! (First Friday in August)
Limerick Ode To “National Orgasm Day”
Thursday, July 31st, 2014Limerick Ode To “National Orgasm Day” (July 31)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “National Orgasm Day.”
Just one day? I’m dismayed and say “Nay!”
To limit “Big Os”
Surely cries out for “NOs.”
I propose: Make it daily! Okay?
Limerick Ode To National Dance Day and National Can-Can Day
Saturday, July 26th, 2014Ordinarily, I’d celebrate National Dance Day today by dancing. But a mysterious foot injury’s forcing me to sublimate by writing a limerick:
Limerick Ode To National Dance Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s Dance Day, so dance if you can.
Do the can-can or whirl with a fan.
Give your muscles some work,
Though it’s best not to twerk
Without checking your medical plan.
Alternative Version For Can-Can Day (Oct. 21):
It’s Can-Can Day. Dance if you can.
Kick your legs. Whirl those skirts. Twirl a fan.
Give your muscles some work,
Though it’s best not to twerk
Without checking your medical plan.
Happy “Nude Day!” (July 14)
Monday, July 14th, 2014Limerick Ode To “Nude Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal likes to publicly doff
All her clothing, then pose to show off.
“It’s a strip search time-saver
I did you a favor,”
When jailed, she’ll transparently scoff.
Fried Limerick
Saturday, July 12th, 2014Happy National French Fries Day (July 13.)
Fried Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am not a big fan of French fries.
I don’t find them a sight for sore eyes.
(A sore stomach, perchance.)
Belgium fries, though, entrance.
But neither is wise for one’s thighs.
“No Bra Day” Ode
Tuesday, July 8th, 2014“No Bra Day” Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Today is “No Bra Day.” Oh my!
But just ONE braless day? Won’t comply
With the custom of binding
Our breasts. I’m not minding
Those rules. I declare, “Let them fly!”
UPDATE: In addition to being celebrated on July 9th, No Bra Day is also celebrated on October 13.
(For more bra humor, here’s my Wonderbra Song Parody.)
Charlotte’s Ruse
Monday, July 7th, 2014Charlotte’s Ruse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Ms. Charlotte was trying to fix
Choc’late brownies by using a mix.
Then she buried the box
Under undies and sox,
And declared them homemade. (They were bricks.)
Happy World Chocolate Day! (July 7)
December 8 is “National Brownie Day.”
Limerick Drill (Limerick-Off Monday)
Saturday, July 5th, 2014It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was wielding his drill…*
or
A teacher was trying to drill…*
or
The experienced clerk knew the drill…*
or
A fellow had loaned out his drill…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Drill
By Madeleine Begun Kane
As the dentist was wielding his drill,
He yelled at his patient, “Sit still!”
Then he bellowed with gravity,
“God-awful cavity!
It’s nearly as large as my bill.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: On January 26 we celebrate the anniversary of George Green’s 1875 electric dental drill patent. Okay … perhaps “celebrate” is the wrong word.
Ode To Workaholics
Saturday, July 5th, 2014Today (July 5th) is National Workaholics Day.
Ode To Workaholics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Workaholics endure a disease,
Which will cause neither cough nor a sneeze.
But they’re gripped by a fever;
They’re missing the lever
That permits them occasional ease.
