Though the calendar tells me it’s spring,
It’s belied by each temp’rature swing.
We used heat just last week.
Now AC we must tweak.
I guess winter is due for a fling.
Archive for the ‘New York Limericks & Haiku’ Category
Seasonal Gripes (Limerick)
Thursday, May 9th, 2024Smoky Days Are Here Again (Limerick)
Friday, June 30th, 2023Canadian smoke has returned;
Acrid remnants of forests that burned
Nowhere near New York City
Have turned our air gritty.
That stroll I attempted? Adjourned!
Cold Weather Blues (Limerick)
Friday, November 18th, 2022In New York, winter’s hit prematurely.
(That’s a long way of saying it’s early.)
I’ve already grown weary
Of weather this dreary.
(I’m sorry for sounding so surly.)
Snow’s Afoot! (Limerick)
Thursday, January 27th, 2022A Nor’easter is headed here soon.
With snow we are set to be strewn;
Twelve inches expected!
I’m feeling dejected,
As forecasters breathlessly swoon.
Bagel Shop Woes (Limerick)
Saturday, December 4th, 2021Oy! Cream cheese is the latest NYC supply chain casualty! What’s a bagel shop to do?
A shortage of cream cheese? That’s bad!
Naked bagels are terribly sad!
You’ll use butter instead?
Are you nuts? Lost your head?
Cream cheese schmears are essential, you cad!
Coping With Cabin Fever (Limerick)
Thursday, July 8th, 2021I’m pleased that this Covid-related limerick of mine has just been published here in “Poetry and Covid.”
Manhattan’s begun to reopen;
Just in time, cuz we barely are copin’.
Cabin fever’s widespread.
Are our fav nightspots dead?
Can we still get great food there? Here’s hopin’!
Hope Springs Eternal (Limerick)
Saturday, March 19th, 2016Though tomorrow’s the first day of spring,
My seasonal thoughts can’t take wing
Cuz of snow-forecast-blues-men
And wet blanket newsmen.
Are they wrong? To that dream I shall cling.
Not That I’m Complaining, But… (Limerick)
Thursday, December 24th, 2015I’m not writing a climate-change screed,
But I’d wager most folks would concede
This is crazy as heck:
Icy drinks on our deck,
Late December, New York. Coat? No need!
Staten Island Chuck the Groundhog Lives (Limerick)
Monday, February 2nd, 2015There’s been a Groundhog Day rules change at the Staten Island Zoo, in the wake of last year’s groundhog death at the klutzy hands of Mayor Bill de Blasio:
Staten Island Chuck the Groundhog Lives (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Seems the zoos of New York had their fill
Of Mayor-caused Groundhog Day-kill.
Last year’s groundhog is dead,
So “no holding,” they said.
“We are Chucking your touching rights, Bill.”
Limerick Fair
Thursday, November 6th, 2014Limerick Fair
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Your fare is unfair,” said the fare,
When he got from the fair to Times Square.
“You cab driving cheater,
You rigged up your meter.
Here’s a tip: I’m not paying you. Ne’er!”
(DversePoets asks us to write verse using the word fair.)
I Knew It Couldn’t Last (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014This summer’s weather in New York City, especially August, has been astonishingly pleasant. And then September hit.
I Knew It Couldn’t Last (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I was right with my weather suspicions;
We’ve reverted to dreadful conditions.
High humidity, heat,
Heavy T-storms compete,
As we weather their juxtapositions.
Limerick Ode To Our Pothole
Monday, June 23rd, 2014Limerick Ode To Our Pothole
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I reported a pothole last week,
And the city did give it a tweak.
Have they fixed it? You’re joking,
Or possibly toking.
Adding cones seems to be their technique.
This dangerously deep pothole is less than a block from our house. Mark just snapped this pic of it:
Brooklyn’s Nutty Penis Contest (Limerick)
Thursday, June 19th, 2014I can’t possibly resist writing about Brooklyn’s Smallest Penis Contest.
Brooklyn’s Nutty Penis Contest (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A contest for tiniest dick
Might strike you as utterly sick.
But “reverse chic” is “in,”
So a dick, short and thin,
By that measure might just do the trick.
Weather Report (Limerick)
Friday, May 9th, 2014Weather Report (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s springtime — a lovely May day;
Perfect temps, fragrant breeze from the bay.
Don’t be jealous or curse,
Cuz I’ve seasoned this verse
With deceit. It is cold, damp, and gray.
Foreign News Blues (Limerick)
Thursday, February 27th, 2014Foreign News Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s so windy, I have to go out:
Foreign papers are scattered about.
Though I clean up our yard,
It’s soon once again scarred.
This paper route’s making me pout.
True story: This afternoon, I look out our living room window and see that our front lawn is strewn with newspapers. It’s a windy day, and a neighbor’s Korean (I think) newspaper has apparently made a run for it.
I immediately stop what I’m doing and go outdoors to contend with the litter. Why the big rush? Because New York City Sanitation workers just love to peruse neighborhoods during windstorms, so they can give out messy-lawn citations.
Ten minutes after I finish, I look out the window once again, only to find that it looks like I never dealt with the garbage. So I go out once again, this time picking up similar-looking papers from the neighbors on either side of me, as well.
No, I won’t take credit for being a Good Samaritan. This was purely defensive.
It was only a matter of time before my neighbors’ messes decided they like my lawn better.
Cold and Bothered (Quatrain)
Tuesday, January 7th, 2014Cold and Bothered (Quatrain)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I live in a town where it’s pleasant to stroll.
We do most of our errands on foot.
But it’s frightfully cold. “Let’s stay home,” I cajole.
Forget milk! Let’s be smart and stay put.
(January 11 is National Milk Day.)
Yet Another Limerick Ode To “Rabbit Ears”
Saturday, August 3rd, 2013Yet Another Limerick Ode To “Rabbit Ears”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Most New Yorkers can’t see CBS.
It’s a hairy Time Warner Co mess.
But I see it fee-free:
We’ve no cable, you see,
And use rabbit ears — access success!
Note from Mad Kane: This limerick was inspired by the fee dispute between Time Warner Cable and CBS. A previous feud between Time Warner Cable and ABC inspired my original Ode To “Rabbit Ears.”
Taking The Plunge (Limerick)
Thursday, June 20th, 2013Today on Facebook, someone posted a photo of a short, female subway rider using a plunger on the train ceiling, so she could remain standing without losing her balance. Since I too am a short, subway-challenged woman, I was inspired to write this limerick:
Taking The Plunge (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am thinking of taking the plunge:
Subway plungers might help prevent lunge
And thusly forestall
A terrible fall.
But I need one not covered in grunge.
Spring? You’re Kidding, Right? (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 19th, 2013Spring? You’re Kidding, Right? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Spring is legally set to begin,
Which in light of the weather’s a sin:
Last night we had snow,
Sleet, and ice here and so
There’s a seasonal mix-up herein.