Limerick Virtuoso
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A famed violin virtuoso
Said his student’s performance was “so-so.”
“You were NOT even there,”
She replied in despair.
The response from her prof: “I just know so.”
(Inspired by Merriam-Webster Word of the Day – VIRTUOSO)
View my Virtuoso Limerick image here.
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow’s delusions were grand…*
or
A woman had hopes that were grand…*
or
A fellow had paid fifty grand…*
or
A pianist was playing her grand…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Grand Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A musician whose plans had been grand
Was canned from his gig with a band.
Though his playing was fly,
They told him “Goodbye,
You’re too cute, which is bad for our brand.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who tended to fret…*
or
A fellow was told not to fret…*
or
A guitarist had broken a fret…*
or
A repairman was fixing a fret…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Fretting About Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A cellist would frequently fret
Over women the minute they met.
Could he strike the right chord?
But the gals all got bored;
He was one-note — not much of a get.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Ordinarily, I’d celebrate National Dance Day today by dancing. But a mysterious foot injury’s forcing me to sublimate by writing a limerick:
Limerick Ode To National Dance Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s Dance Day, so dance if you can.
Do the can-can or whirl with a fan.
Give your muscles some work,
Though it’s best not to twerk
Without checking your medical plan.
Alternative Version For Can-Can Day (Oct. 21):
It’s Can-Can Day. Dance if you can.
Kick your legs. Whirl those skirts. Twirl a fan.
Give your muscles some work,
Though it’s best not to twerk
Without checking your medical plan.
Okay, this isn’t a major holiday, but still…
Happy Birthday To “Happy Birthday” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Happy Birthday To You” has a birthday.
Yes, today is its notable mirth day.
But “Good Morning To All”
Was its lyric. Don’t bawl!
I’ll concede it’s less key than, say, “Earth Day.”
The song “Happy Birthday To You” has a strange and complicated history. Its melody was first published on June 27, 1893 as “Good Morning to All,” with lyrics that have nothing to do with birthdays. And its copyright ownership has been the subject of numerous lawsuits. Despite its advanced age, it somehow remains under copyright protection.
Limerick Ode To World Music Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s Music Day. Toast it with verse.
Do it soon; there’s no time to rehearse.
Play an instrument, sing,
Simply listen, or swing…
Cuz a music-less life is a curse.
Happy World Music Day!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman broke up with her beau…*
or
A fellow who’d once been the beau…*
or
A gal tied her hair in a bow…*
or
A musician was buying a bow…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Beau
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A singer broke up with her beau
After learning he’d done something low:
He’d poked fun at her pitch,
Which compelled her to ditch
Him for somebody less in the know.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was trying to pick…*
or
A fellow was using a pick…*
or
A woman would frequently pick…*
or
A guitar player’s favorite pick…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Pick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A guitarist attempted to pick
A new image sufficiently slick
To aid in her rise
To pop music highs.
But for once, no one fell for her schtick.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Joyous Ode To Beethoven’s Ninth
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Ludwig’s final symphony
On May the 7th first was played.
1824’s the year
That music history was made.
Many critics called it “monstrous,”
“Tasteless” swipes undeftly writ.
Audiences felt its joy,
And that’s about the size of it.
(I was trying to be subtle. But apparently, most people need a sound track to get what it is that I was doing in that poem. Sigh…. So, now that I’ve officially forsworn further attempts at subtlety, here’s a sing-along version of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy.)
Happy International Tuba Day! (first Friday of May)
Ode To International Tuba Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who played tuba was brassy,
Often horny and terribly sassy.
You might think that the guys
Would eye chassis and thighs.
But alas, she was also quite gassy.
Here are my entries in the Washington Post Style Invitational’s “add some words in parentheses” to a song title contest:
Let It Snow (Somewhere Else)
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover (That Don’t Require A Restraining Order)
The Tide is High (Because You Over-Filled The Washing Machine)
(Optometrists Warn Us) Don’t Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes
(Why The Heck Would You Garnish My Martini With A) Peppermint Twist
(I Didn’t Say I Like You) Just the Way You Are (I Said I Like You Just The Way You Were)
I’ll Dance at Your Wedding (If You Guarantee Tips)
(Message) I Care
Guitar Polka (Has To Be Better Than Accordion Polka)
Bridge Over Troubled Water (In New Jersey)
It’s Time to Pay the Fiddler (Cuz He’s Threatening To Strike)
Livin’ on a Prayer (Cuz My Food Stamps Were Cut)
(I Have A Headache, So Don’t) Play that Funky Music
(How I Wish Our House Came With A) Handyman
On Second Thought (I Don’t Take You To Be My Lawfully Wedded Wife)
He’ll Have to Go (To The Bathroom)
Accentuate the Positive (If You Can Find Any)
(I’m Going To Hold My Breath) Until You Come Back to Me (That’s What I’m Gonna Do)
One Bad Apple (Will Ruin Your Pie)
Remember The Time (Our Wedding Is Supposed To Start)
What’s She Doing Now (And How Much Has She Had To Drink)
(You Don’t Deserve A) Good Hearted Woman
To All The girls I’ve Loved Before (I Have Some Really Bad News)
(Pay Your Movie Streaming Bill Or) Get Off Of My Cloud
One Way Or Another (I’ll Win This Contest)
You can find the entertaining winners list (which doesn’t include me) here.
A recent Washington Post Style Invitational contest challenged us to “quote a song title or a line from a song and supply a question that that line might answer.”
I had a lot of fun with that contest, even though I didn’t win anything. Here’s what I submitted:
1) Yes sir, yes sir: Three bags full.
“Did you bring the cash?” — Congressman to Lobbyist
(Baa Baa Black Sheep)
2) Big Bad John.
Who’s the worst Speaker ever?
(Big Bad John)
3) Just Go Away!
“What do you want me to do?” — Obama to Republican leadership
(Just Go Away)
4) The candy man can.
Who can get me coke, quick?
(The Candy Man)
5) Get off of my cloud!
What message do you get when you’ve forgotten to pay your movie streaming bill?
(Get Off Of My Cloud)
6) Spacious skies.
What’s the upside of homelessness?
(America, The Beautiful)
7) Shady Lane.
What’s K Street’s nickname?
(The Naughty Lady of Shady Lane)
8) Doesn’t really matter to me.
How do Republican pols view unemployment?
(Bohemian Rhapsody)
9) Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.
“What happens if I don’t find a husband?”
(Hush, Little Baby)
10) That’s what it’s all about!
Can’t you think about anything besides money?
(The Hokey Pokey)
11) All the girls I’ve loved before.
Why so many paternity tests?
(To All The girls I’ve Loved Before)
12) No more tears!
What do embarrassed Republicans keep saying to John Boehner?
(No More Tears)
13) Girls just want to have fun.
Why shouldn’t a woman be president?
(Girls Just Want To Have Fun)
14) It’s only make believe.
What do nay-sayers say about global warming?
(It’s Only Make Believe)
15) I’m leaving it up to you.
What do Republicans never say to women?
(I’m Leaving It Up to You)
16) I’m gonna be your number one.
What are your plans for 2016, Senator Paul?
(The Tide Is High)
17) I’m gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha!
“What are you planning?” — Obama to Republican leadership
(One Way Or Another)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was terribly lax…*
or
A woman who longed to relax…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Lax Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When a man who’d been terribly lax
About practicing trumpet and sax
Was axed from his band,
He vowed that he’d land
A new gig and get down to brass tacks.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was roasting a ham…*
or
A man was a terrible ham…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Ham
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A chef who is rather a ham
Got a band to allow him to jam.
The guy is all thumbs
When he beats on his drums,
But their regular man’s on the lam.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Discord
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If your scale is “C major” then fa
Equals F (the fourth note) and not la.
But those la’s turn to F’s
When the key by your clef’s
“A flat major.” Confused? La-di-da.
My Two Cents About The Voice
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On the Voice my fav entrants are out.
It’s Sasha and Amber I’d tout.
Danielle doesn’t phrase,
Yet they keep heaping praise.
I just hope it’s Michelle in a rout.
Karaoke isn’t my thing because my singing voice is lousy. (Alas, there’s no connection between being able to play the oboe and having a dulcet singing voice.)
But since it’s National Karaoke Week (celebrated each year during the 4th week of April) I couldn’t resist posting this silly limerick:
Limerick Ode To Karaoke
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are people whose singing is croaky.
Some are pitchy — too high or too low-key.
But no matter your voice,
Almost all can rejoice
In this musical fun: Karaoke.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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