Ev’ry day, I attempt to learn words.
But my tries are, alas, for the birds,
Cuz each word I accrue
Makes my aging brain spew
At least two, thrust aside much like turds.
Archive for the ‘Memory Humor’ Category
Anyone Else Have This Problem? (Limerick)
Monday, March 25th, 2024Lost and Found (Limerick)
Thursday, July 27th, 2023An old doctor was filled with alarm;
She had lost her beloved lucky charm.
Though she found it quite fast,
Her relief did not last,
For, alas, it was still on her arm.
What’s Your Name Again? (Limerick)
Monday, July 3rd, 2023My mem’ry is dreadfully bad;
Be you friend or a foe, kind or cad,
I am bound to forget
Your name, though we’ve met
More than once. Please, oh please don’t be mad!
Pardon My French! (Limerick)
Monday, March 20th, 2023I used to speak French fairly well,
But my accent is no longer belle,
And my “je ne sais quoi”
Is reduced to a blah.
(That damn phrase is a struggle to spell!)
(Happy UN French Language Day! — March 20)
Non-Erased Memory (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2023Though I’ve tried to, I cannot erase
My mem’ry of messes I’d face
When I needed to fix
Penciled words. (I was six.)
Defacement would follow apace.
More Life With Mark And Madeleine
Tuesday, January 10th, 2023Mnemonic Nightmare (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 11th, 2022“Nemonic” is tricky to spell,
And my efforts to spell it: Pell-mell!
Since my problem is chronic.
I’ve tried a “kneemonic,”
Which hurls me to memory hell.
Florid Failure (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 7th, 2022I use new-to-me words in my verse;
Vain attempts to cajole and coerce
My old brain into learning
Their meaning. But spurning
Those efforts, my mind makes me curse.
So I’m forced to confess with veracity
That I wish I had greater capacity
To remember cool words,
But my brain’s for the birds,
Which explains all my failed orchidacity.
Trivial Limerick
Tuesday, January 4th, 2022Here’s some info that’s useless, but true.
It is “Trivia Day.” (“Braille Day” too.)
My attempts to retain
Random facts are in vain.
So what day is today? I’ve no clue!
(Both Trivia Day and Braille Day are celebrated each year on January 4.)
“Blursday” Blues (Limerick)
Monday, December 20th, 2021Anybody else suffer from “Blursday?”
You don’t know if it’s Monday or Thursday?
There’s a word for that malady: “Blursday.”
The “work at home” haze
Makes it common these days:
A dazed staffers and entrepreneurs day.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CRUDE or CREWED or ACCRUED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: December 11, 2021)
Saturday, November 27th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CRUDE or CREWED or ACCRUED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CRIME, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CRIME-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 12, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 11, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CRUDE/CREWED/ACCRUED-rhyme limerick:
A comic was starting to freak
Cuz his comedy future looked bleak.
He turned morbid and crude
And increasingly lewd,
And was panned cuz he joked a blue streak.
And here’s my CRIME-themed limerick:
Said the sous-chef, “Don’t make me relive
The attack that killed chef/owner Viv.
I’m exhausted and drained,
And my recall has waned…
Cuz my mem’ry is much like a sieve.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
AWOL Data (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 24th, 2021My over-taxed brain is jam-packed
With info and data; in fact,
Input causes displacement
And mem’ry debasement…
So I’m not out to lunch; I’ve been hacked.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: LOON or LUNE or BALLOON or SALOON at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 4, 2021)
Saturday, August 21st, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LOON or LUNE or BALLOON or SALOON at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to MEMORY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best MEMORY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 5, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 4, 2021, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my LOON/LUNE/BALLOON/SALOON-rhyme limerick:
A fellow, as mad as a loon,
Would strip naked outside ev’ry noon,
Till a note came. ’Twas snide:
“Were I you, I would hide
All my privates; your prick’s picayune.
And here’s my MEMORY-themed limerick:
Once again, I am drawing a blank.
My recall’s, alas, in the tank.
My brain feels bombarded
By facts, soon discarded.
So Google’s my memory bank.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter
Bamboozled By My Brain (Limerick)
Sunday, March 21st, 2021In the course of my constant perusal
Of email, I learned a word: “foozle.”
Though I’ve read it means “bungle,”
My mind is a jungle.
So recall it long-term? Brain refusal!
*********
NOTE: No doubt limerick experts are tempted to tell me that Foozle and Refusal don’t rhyme because Refusal has an F at the beginning of the 2nd syllable. However, I’d argue that Refusal is pronounced like “Re fyou sal” or “Ref you sal” and therefore sounds different enough to be a rhyme.
Limerick Ode To The Elephant
Friday, August 12th, 2016When I miss a big day, I’ve regrets,
And I’m tempted to spew epithets.
Nearly failed to relay
It’s “World Elephant Day,”
But an elephant never forgets.
*****
Elephant Appreciation Day falls on September 22.
Remembering Memory Day
Monday, March 21st, 2016While in law school I’d frequently curse
My poor mem’ry, which now’s become worse.
And this ain’t just a riff;
I’ll be jubilant if
I remember to finish this verse.
Happy Memory Day! (March 21)
Dictionary Day (Limerick)
Friday, October 16th, 2015It’s National Dictionary Day, created in honor of Noah Webster’s birthday.
I attempt to learn new words each day–
At least one, sometimes two, but they stray;
Seems as new words are learned,
The old ones are spurned:
“You’re evicted!” those brain-hoggers bray.
Reality TV Shows That Will Never Be Produced
Thursday, November 14th, 2013In a recent Washington Post Style Invitational contest (Week 1043), we were challenged to invent fake celebrity reality shows. I enjoyed many of the winning entries, especially several of the Honorable Mentions. So be sure to click that link and read about those never-to-be shows.
Alas, no ink for me this week. But here are my three non-winning entries:
“Dancing Behind Bars.” Former “Dancing with the Stars” judge Bruno Tonioli launches his quest for “fast on their feet felons,” after running out of minimally talented dancers in the general population. “Inmates have so much talent, it’s criminal,” raves Bruno. “The cat burglars have stolen my heart! And those death row moves are killer!”
“The Sex Factor.” After losing control of the Miss USA and Miss Universe franchises in yet another bankruptcy, Donald Trump makes a comeback with a weekly beauty contest that, according to Trump, will be “really big” with “lots of bikinis and no interviews.” Says Trump, “girls should be seen and not heard … unless they went to Wharton.”
“Dancing Up In Mars” marks a “new frontier in reality TV, taking dance competitions to the next step.” Says host Newt Gingrich, “the gravity difference presents a grave challenge. But on the upside, Mars doesn’t enforce alimony laws. So no more checks to my six (or is it seven?) exes.”
Limerick Ode To “I Forgot Day”
Tuesday, July 2nd, 2013I almost forgot to write a limerick about “I Forgot Day.” It’s celebrated, if I remember to, on July 2nd.
Limerick Ode To “I Forgot Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I nearly forgot “I Forgot Day.”
How ’bout naming it “Memory Rot Day?”
Since my brain is a sieve,
I find each day I live
A confounding “Forgetting A Lot Day.”
Limerick Ode To A Bad Memory
Tuesday, December 11th, 2012Limerick Ode To A Bad Memory
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My memory’s terribly rotten,
So I don’t absorb data like cotton.
My mind’s for the birds
Cuz I keep losing words:
Hypermnesiac’s meaning? Forgotten!
