Archive for the ‘Marriage Humor’ Category
Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
I rarely write poems about science. But Big Tent Poetry got my juices flowing with this article about astronauts, NASA, and clutter at the International Space Station: Here’s the line that got me going:
There is no up or down in space, so clutter adorns almost every surface and is held in place by duct tape, Velcro and metal clips.
Limerick In Free-Fall
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Space Station clutter’s appalling.
Objects long to engage in free-falling.
It take Velcro, clips, tape
To prevent their escape:
My hubby’s fav tools — missed his calling.
(More space verse here.)
Tags: Astronauts, Astronomy Verse, Big Tent Poetry, Clutter Humor, Duct Tape, Household tools, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, NASA, Science Humor, Space Station, Velcro
Posted in House & Home Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Science Humor | 31 Comments »
Sunday, February 27th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was rather a scold…
or
A man who was rather a scold…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Scold
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was rather a scold
Berated her spouse o’er his cold:
“You’re sick all the time
Without rhythm or rhyme,
And your illness is getting quite old.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Health Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 45 Comments »
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2011
This week Big Tent Poetry provides a bunch of word prompts, urging us to use one or more in our poems. I used three of them in my haiku (remote, function, handle) and one in a limerick (remote.)
First, my limerick:
I’m tempted to hide the remote
From my spouse in a closet or coat,
Cuz he flicks ev’ry station
In rapid rotation.
Missing show after show gets my goat.
*****
And now my haiku:
Dysfunctional spouse
Wields remote ADD-style.
Wife can’t handle it.
Tags: ADD Haiku, ADD Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, Television Limerick, TV Humor, TV Remote
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Entertainment Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Media Humor, Obsessions Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 21 Comments »
Sunday, January 9th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
“I’m sorry I had an affair” …
Here’s mine:
A Limerick Affair
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I’m sorry I had an affair,”
Said a man to his wife in despair.
“Please forgive me — I’m bad.”
She said, “Never, you cad.”
“I warned you before — I don’t share.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Affair Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Cheating Spouse, Marriage Limerick, Married Couple Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 24 Comments »
Wednesday, January 5th, 2011
I’m a “recovering lawyer.” But I haven’t “recovered” quite enough to resist writing this lawsuit limerick. It’s a cautionary tale about jilted brides, grooms who get cold feet, and litigation to recover wedding expenses.
The former bride-to-be Dominique Buttitta (who just happens to be a lawyer) is seeking over $95,000 in damages from her ex-fiancé. She claims defendant Vito Salerno jilted her just four days before the wedding, after she’d spent $56,000 for the banquet hall, flowers, orchestra, and gown, plus other non-refundable expenses.
Ms. Buttitta has a decent chance of recovering her out-of-pocket expenses, according to lawyers Gloria Allred and Lydia Sartain.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Wedded Bliss Interruptus
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’re planning a wedding, be warned:
Change your mind and your bride-to-be scorned
Could sue you and win
Major bucks for your sin.
And your assets? They’re bound to be mourned.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Cautionary Tales, Lawsuit Humor, Lawyer Limerick, Litigation Poem, Marriage Limerick, Money Poetry, Nuptials, Wedding Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Relationship Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, November 30th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was planning a trip…
Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
A woman was planning a trip,
When her husband said, “Please, get a grip.
Our bank account’s low.
We have one-way cash flow.”
But his wife said, “Enough with your lip!”
“You’ve been wasting our cash at the track
And on poker and possibly crack.
I’m sick of this life
And of being your wife.
So goodbye, it is you who should pack.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Divorce Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Travel Limerick, Trip Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Travel Humor | 15 Comments »
Sunday, October 31st, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A frazzled new father named Jim…
Here’s mine:
Frazzled Limerick (Frazzled Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A frazzled new father named Jim
Bought his baby toy trains on a whim.
When his wife saw the gift,
She was terribly miffed,
So she yelled, “That’s for you. What’s for him?”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Update: May 2 is Baby Day.
Tags: Baby Day, Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, May Holidays, Model Trains Humor, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Monday, October 25th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was late for his train…
Here’s mine, and my audio version is here. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Late Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was late for his train.
Being tardy was always his bane.
In his youth and his prime
He was rarely on time,
Which drove his whole fam’ly insane.
After years of his lateness, his mate
Lost her mind — she was way past irate.
Using all of her might
She beat him for spite.
Now that fellow’s eternally late.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Bad Habits Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Lateness Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Time Verse, Trains, Transportation, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Procrastination Humor, Time Humor | 30 Comments »
Wednesday, October 20th, 2010
Slovenly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose shirt was all stained
Saw his lovely wife’s look — it was pained.
“You’re so messy with pasta,”
She chided him. “Basta!
You’re just like your dad — it’s ingrained.”
UPDATE: National Pasta Day is October 17 and World Pasta Day is October 25.
Tags: Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Poem, Eating Limerick, Food Poem, Grooming Verse, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Humor, National Pasta Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sloppiness, World Pasta Day
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Clumsiness Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Fashion Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, October 17th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow whose car had been towed…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Pigheaded Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose car had been towed
Freaked out when he heard what he owed.
“Highway robb’ry,” he yelled.
Then he sued — price upheld,
Plus penalties — made him explode.
So he threatened to file an appeal,
Though his wife said, “Enough! Make a deal!”
He responded, “No way!
I simply won’t pay.
Let them keep my damn automobile.”
But then he was hit with a lien.
And his wife said, “You see what I mean?
End this now or perforce
I will sue for divorce.”
That’s what comes of the stubbornness gene.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Car & Driving Humor, Divorce Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Stubbornness, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Car & Driving Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 18 Comments »
Wednesday, September 15th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who readily cried…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Weepy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who readily cried
Never learned to take movies in stride.
She would feel oh so low
And her tear drops would flow
When a character sickened or died.
She’d weep for the good guys and bad—
Did not matter — they both made her sad.
How her husband freaked out
When she sobbed for a lout
Like a killer or mean, deadbeat dad.
He told her, “You’re acting insane.
Is there something amiss with your brain?
Please don’t cry for a villain
Who merits his killin’.
Put clamps on your waterworks main.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)
Tags: Crying, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Tears, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Thursday, June 10th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who had an affair…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Affairs
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who had an affair
Got caught by his lovely wife, Claire.
She considered divorce —
Took a far diff’rent course.
Now her spouse does not live anywhere.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Divorce Humor, Husband Wife Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Legal Limerick, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Self-Help Humor | 23 Comments »
Saturday, June 5th, 2010
My husband Mark and I had a wonderful time celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary on Friday, June 4th in Manhattan. We saw a Broadway play — Ken Ludwig’s hilarious Lend Me A Tenor, which was directed by Stanley Tucci. (There’s more about the play in my two-verse limerick.) We also dined at Nocello and enjoyed attempting to dance the rumba at the Marriott Marquis’ Broadway Lounge.
And now, my limerick:
The Tenor Of Our Anniversary
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Hubby Mark and I partied last night.
(It’s been thirty-two years of delight.)
Saw a great Broadway play.
What a heavenly way
To celebrate marriage just right!
Shaloub and LaPaglia star.
(Both are Tony’s — you know who they are.)
Justin Bartha stars too.
We kept laughing on cue
At Lend Me A Tenor. Har, har!
Tags: Broadway Comedy, Holiday Poetry, Husband Wife Humor, June Holidays, Justin Bartha, Ken Ludwig, Lend Me A Tenor, New York City Verse, Stanley Tucci, Theater Review, Tony LaPaglia, Tony Shaloub, Wedding Anniversary Limerick
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Celebrity Humor, Entertaining New Yorkers, Holiday Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Night On The Town, Personal, Public Figures, Theater Reviews | 4 Comments »
Thursday, May 20th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A brassy old woman named Joan…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a three-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Brassy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A brassy old woman named Joan
Loves the trumpet, but hates the trombone.
When people ask why
She says, “Married a guy
Who played bone with a terrible tone.”
She continues, “He made my head ache,
And he played it all night, for God’s sake.
I divorced him on grounds
Of cacophonic sounds.
Then I wed a French horn-playing rake.”
“He cheated on me day and night.
So I fin’ly said, go fly a kite!
Now I’m single again
And I’ll never date men
Who play brass, cuz those guys ain’t polite.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Brass Players, Divorce Humor, French Horn, Marriage Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Musical Instruments, Poetry & Prompts, Trombone, Trumpet, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 25 Comments »
Wednesday, May 12th, 2010
I couldn’t let International Limerick Day go by without posting a new limerick prompt, could I? So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A romantic young fellow named Will…
Here’s mine:
Romantic Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A romantic young fellow named Will
Was in love with a woman named Jill.
He proposed on his knees,
But then started to sneeze.
Perhaps he should phone Dr. Phil.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Related Post: Romancing The Stoic
Tags: Dr. Phil, Marriage Limerick, National Limerick Day, Poetry & Prompts, Psychology Humor, Relationship, Romance Humor, Wedding Proposal Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Romance Humor | 31 Comments »
Thursday, May 6th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A hard-working mother named May…
Here’s mine:
Just In Time For Mother’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A hard-working mother named May
Had three children and twins on the way.
When her spouse heard the news,
He guzzled some booze
And grumbled, “I should have been gay.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Related Post: Mother’s Day Limericks
Tags: Children Humor, Holiday Verse, Marriage Limerick, May Holidays, Moms Humor, Mother's Day Limericks, Mothering Day, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Pregnancy Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 18 Comments »
Monday, April 19th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A miserly fellow name Joe…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Miserly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A miserly fellow name Joe
Was obsessed with his weekly cash flow.
The guy was so petty,
He ordered wife Betty
To flush once a day. She said, “No!”
Then he yelled, “You are wasteful and low!”
But she said, “It’s distasteful. No go!”
So he sued for divorce—
An asinine course.
Now the lawyers have all of his dough.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Bathroom Humor, Cash Flow Humor, Divorce Humor, Law Limerick, Marriage Verse, Misers, Money Poems, Obsession Verse, Pettiness, Poetry & Prompts, Toilet Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, House & Home Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Obsessions Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 16 Comments »
Wednesday, April 7th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A symphony cellist named Kate…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Musical Chairs
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A symphony cellist named Kate
Shares her stand with a man, once her mate.
Though they play well in sync,
She thinks him a fink
And longs for his move out of state.
But orchestra jobs are quite rare,
And he can’t find a gig on a dare.
Sadly, neither can she,
So together they’ll be
Making music. At least she’s first chair.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Cello Humor, Divorce Humor, Marriage Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Symphony Orchestra Humor, Symphony Verse, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts | 13 Comments »
Friday, April 2nd, 2010
I don’t know about you, but I’m not buying Jesse James’ (or Tiger Woods’) rehab ploy:
Rehab For Serial Wife-Cheating? Bullox! (Double Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A bike-loving fellow named James
Had affairs with some numerous dames.
Though wife Sandra’s a winner,
He’s trying to spin her:
Addiction’s the problem, he claims.
Now he’s paying a whole lot of loot
For therapy — Tiger Woods’ route.
But rehab won’t fix
Those wife-cheating pricks.
My advice — just give both guys the boot.
Tags: Addiction Humor, Celebrities, Celebrity Marriages, Elin Nordegren, Feminism Humor, Jesse James, Motorcycles, Rehab, Sandra Bullock, Serial Cheaters, Tiger Woods
Posted in Addiction Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Celebrity Humor, Feminist Satire, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Public Figures | 7 Comments »
Sunday, February 14th, 2010
Last night hubby Mark reminded me about a humor column I wrote about a romance-impaired woman (me) marrying a romantic man like Mark. He thinks it’s the perfect column to post on Valentines Day, so here’s how Romancing The Stoic begins:
Romancing The Stoic
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“We’ve lost power!” I shrieked, as the lights went out and a Brahms concerto stopped mid-cadenza. “It’s okay,” my husband Mark said, in a futile attempt to calm me down. For already I was ransacking the house in search of flashlights, candles, matches and batteries. And as usual, I’d hidden them away in a safe and elusive spot.
“Don’t worry,” Mark said, when he finally had my attention. “We’ll bundle up in front of the fireplace. We’ll eat by candlelight, sip wine, and talk. It’ll be nice. You won’t even miss the light.”
That episode, which climaxed in a delightful, albeit light-impaired evening, illustrates our differences in the romance department. A quick bit of history: More than thirty years ago Mark proposed on his knees in the middle of the street, while I rushed to brush off his pants. His encore the next night was to supplement his weekly floral offering with a pair of crystal candlesticks. I, of course, fretted about their price.
Mark went through with the wedding, despite my apparent lack of the romance gene. Perhaps he felt he had sentiment enough for two. Or maybe he thought I’d come around some day — that my romantic spirit was merely submerged, just waiting to be tapped. … (Romancing The Stoic continues here.)
Tags: Husbands & Wives, Marriage Humor, Romance Humor, Romantic Husbands, Stoics, Valentine's Day, Wedding Proposal Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Marriage Humor, Romance Humor | 12 Comments »
