Archive for the ‘Marketing Humor’ Category
Tuesday, July 29th, 2014
Distilling The Truth
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Don’t sulk, but the bulk of the rye
Labeled heirloom’s a hand-crafted lie;
Many crafty booze sellers
Are re-seller fellers–
Small-batch fees for a factory buy.
*****
Yes that special, hand-crafted, small-batch, artisan, heirloom whiskey may really come from MGP, a large factory/distillery in Indiana.
Tags: Alcohol Verse, Artisan Liquor, Distillery, Drinking Limerick, Gin Humor, Hand-Crafted Whiskey, Indiana, Lawrenceburg, Marketing Humor, MGP, Rye Whiskey, Whiskey
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, July 24th, 2013
Just when I thought nothing could surprise me, I learn that Japanese women are being paid to host advertisements on their thighs.
The girls can wear what they like, but WIT suggests that participants wear short skirts and high socks in order to draw attention to the ad. They can earn up to £65 per day.
Getting A Leg Up On Marketing (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a boon to some Japanese guys
Who relish a feast for their eyes:
To publicize brands
A company hands
Cash to gals who wear ads on their thighs.
Tags: Advertising Humor, Feminist Humor, Hidenori Atsumi, Japan, Marketing Humor, WIT
Posted in Feminist Satire, Limericks, Marketing Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012
My Telemarketer Hang-up (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My name’s on the “do not call” list,
But our phone rings non-stop, and I’m pissed.
“How’s my energy plan?”
Says a voice — not a man,
But a bot, energetic’ly dissed.
Tags: Bot Humor, Computer Humor, Do Not Call List, Energy Verse, Pet Peeves, Phone Humor, Sales Humor, Technology Humor, Telemarketers, Telephone Verse
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | 4 Comments »
Friday, January 27th, 2012
Google compiles basic profiles on each of its users, based on web browsing habits. And I just found out I’m a 65-plus male.
If you’re wondering who Google thinks you are, simply sign into Google and visit your ad preferences.
Google Doesn’t Have My Number (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It seems Google believes I’m a guy–
One who’s 65-plus. And here’s why:
It claims its conclusion
Is ad-based — Delusion!
Ask my husband — this profile’s a lie!
Tags: Ads Limerick, Advertising Humor, Google, Marketing Humor, Money Poems, Search Engines, Shopping Verse, User Profiles
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Marketing Humor, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Shopping Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, December 26th, 2011
This “torment your pet frog” video, which features an iPad screen depicting tasty-looking insects, reminded me of an old humor column of mine:
Bugged By Ads
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you saw what looked like an insect on your television screen, what weapon would you reach for? A wad of tissues, perhaps? Okay, let’s make the bug more menacing than your average house invader — let’s make it a cockroach.
I’m guessing you’d grab a sacrificial magazine, roll it up, and take a swing at the screen. A swing strong enough to demolish the roach (you hope), while leaving your TV set more or less intact.
I’m also guessing you’d avoid guaranteed glass shatterers like hammers, drills, and chain saws. And up till this very moment, I would have sworn that a motorcycle helmet would sit atop the no-no list. Apparently, I was wrong.
A Tampa, Florida woman actually threw a motorcycle helmet at a TV screen roach. Overkill? I’d say so. Especially when you consider that:
1. The helmet trashed her screen; and
2. Her TV screen was cockroach-free.
No, I’m not talking about an LSD-crazed youth doing battle with hallucinated insects. I’m talking about a grown and presumably sober person who (along with other TV viewers) was suckered by Orkin Pest Control’s all too realistic ad featuring an animated roach crawling across the screen.
Like many others who were taken in by Orkin’s ad campaign, this Tampa woman was determined to kill the roach. Unfortunately, the only thing she managed to kill was her television set.
End of story? Of course not. This happened in the USA where people, including our helmet-wielding woman, want to be compensated for their injuries.
Now I’m a recovering lawyer and I used to handle my share of civil … and uncivil … litigation. So you might ask me what I’d do if I were consulted by the owner of a TV set destroyed by a motorcycle helmet aimed at a nonexistent roach.
Being a cautious and thorough attorney, I’d carefully evaluate the case by asking questions like:
1. Your one-of-a-kind, irreplaceable helmet was badly dented, right?
2. Have you had full body x-rays to check for internal TV screen glass shards?
3. How’s the helmet flinging-induced carpal tunnel syndrome progressing?
4. Why aren’t you seeking treatment for your extremely painful ducking to avoid glass-induced whiplash?
Orkin doesn’t appear to be worried about litigation. In fact, Orkin’s treating the whole matter with a sense of humor. It even ran an Orkin “Got Me” drawing at its (Orkin.com) Web site, asking viewers to describe (by April 30th) how its “fake out” cockroach crawling across the screen ad campaign “got” them. According to the submission information, “ALL ENTRANTS will be placed in a random drawing for a BRAND NEW TELEVISION.”
I was planning to email an entry myself, but I had a bit of a mishap: The roach that adorns Orkin’s submit button looked so real, I threw my shoe at it and broke my computer screen.
Tags: Advertising Humor, Frogs Humor, Insect and Bug Humor, Insects, iPad Aps, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Litigation Humor, Marketing Humor, Orkin Pest Control, Roaches Humor, Video Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Insect Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Marketing Humor | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, October 19th, 2011
October’s a big month for holidays. No, I’m not talking about Halloween. I’m referring to National Nut Day And National Bologna Day, October 22 and October 24, respectively. (And no, National Nut Day doesn’t celebrate politicians, although it should.)
National Nut Day — No Baloney! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a day for ‘most any old food—
Launched by salesmen, I’m forced to conclude.
October touts nuts
And bologna. Cold Cuts
Day is March, though. I plan to get stewed.
Tags: Advertising Humor, Cold Cuts Day, Food Verse, Marketing Humor, National Bologna Day, National Nut Day, October Holidays, Sales Humor, Weird Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
Are you suffering from Facebook friend envy? Do you have a few hundred spare bucks lying around? Then uSocial, an Australian marketing company, is eager to help you buy thousands of “targeted” Facebook friends and fans and Twitter followers.
Are you as creeped out about this as I am?
The Price Of Facebook Friendship (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Feeling lonesome? Don’t have enough friends?
You can try out this latest of trends:
Buy pals by the litter
At Facebook and Twitter.
Pay cash and your loneliness ends.
Tags: Facebook, Friendship, Money, Social Marketing, Twitter, uSocial
Posted in Facebook Humor, Friendship Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Technology Humor, Twitter Humor | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
I couldn’t let the launch of Google-challenger Bing pass without a limerick:
Battle of the Search Engines
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A search engine yearns to be king.
Its name, for some reason, is Bing.
It’s Microsoft’s baby.
Hurt Google? Well, maybe.
Their quest? Lots of ad business bling.
Tags: Ad Revenue, Bing, Business, Computers, Google, Internet, Limericks, Microsoft, Money, Net, Search Engines, Technology, Web
Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Search Engine Tools, Technology Humor | 4 Comments »
Saturday, September 15th, 2007
Sometimes spam frustrates me so much, that I’m forced to turn it into haiku. How do I do it? I simply mix and match phrases from various annoying email solicitations and turn them into Spam Haiku. Here are some examples:
My college pictures
Enhance your anatomy.
Proven effective.
New technology.
Frustration and hopelessness.
Xanax, Valium.
Amazing orgies.
Pictures are hard to believe.
Are you strong enough?
Play Texas Hold’em.
Your future is in your hands.
Never type again.
Large screen DVD.
Is your husband performing?
Big trading alert.
Stocks in an up trend.
Best pain reliever ever.
Be happy again.
Be a love hammer.
Penis enlargement breakthrough.
You can split and merge.
Pelvic pain is real.
Computers are infected.
Contact our doctors.
Tags: Annoying Email, Computer Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Spam, Spam Poetry, Spam Verse, Technology Verse
Posted in Computer Humor, Email Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Internet Humor, Marketing Humor, Spam Humor, Technology Humor | 7 Comments »
Friday, August 24th, 2007
If you’re ever in Scottsdale, Arizona and feel the need to buy jeans, prepare yourself for a scary rear view:
Worried that new pair of high-fashion jeans may just make your butt look fat? Now shoppers in one upscale Scottsdale store [The Hub] can check it out for themselves before someone else makes the observation – using the Butt Cam, a camera positioned just so that’s connected to a video screen on a dressing room wall.
And if that doesn’t sound bad enough:
The setup also allows Hub employees to display views of their more confident shoppers on flat-screen TVs behind the cash registers for all to see.
This brings me to my latest limerick:
No Butt Cams For Me — No Ifs, Ands, Or Buts
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Butt Cam sure sounds rather crass,
But it gives you a view of your ass
While you’re trying on jeans.
And you know what that means?
It should tell almost all: “Take a pass!”
(You can find more of my fashion and shopping humor here.)
Tags: Butt Cam, Butt Camera, Buying Jeans, Clothes Shopping, Dressing Room Cameras, Fashion Satire, Scottsdale Arizona, Shopping Humor, Video Screens
Posted in Business Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor, Physical Appearance, Polls, Shopping Humor | 3 Comments »
Saturday, March 10th, 2007
A Spam Filter That Really Works Would Be Nice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My filters should block them, but nay!
Spam emails beset me each day,
Pushing stock, naked boys,
Drugs for sex, naughty toys—
All ad nauseam. Please, go away!
Tags: Spam Filters, Computer Satire, Drug Spam, Email Humor, Internet Humor, Porno Spam, Spam Humor, Stock Tip Spam, Technology Satire
Posted in Computer Humor, Email Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor, Spam Humor, Technology Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, January 9th, 2007
Have you heard about the Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump feud? Yeah … like you could possibly avoid it. Those publicity-mongers deserve a limerick, don’t you think?
Rosie O’Donnell vs. The Donald
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Whenever publicity’s needed,
O’Donnell and Trump seem to feed it
By starting a feud
With each other. How rude!
To both I can only say, “Beat it!”
Tags: Celebrities, Celebrity Humor, Donald Trump, Feud, Publicity Humor, Rosie O'Donnell
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Celebrity Humor, Donald Trump, Entertaining New Yorkers, Entertainment Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor, Media Humor, Publicity Humor, Rosie O’Donnell | 3 Comments »
Thursday, October 19th, 2006
Attention, Wal-Mart … Patients?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Wal-Mart is marketing health care
Via clinics in stores. Near the hardware?
You can call me a cynic,
But Wal-Mart based clinics?
My prescription is “Patients Beware.”
Tags: Health Clinics, Health Satire, Healthcare Humor, Marketing Humor, Medical Humor, Patients Humor, Wal-Mart Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor, Shopping Humor | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
You praise my weblog
And I’ll mention your blog.
You link my weblog
And I’ll link to your blog
Weblog,
Your blog,
Weblog,
Your blog,
Let’s call the whole thing off.
You laud my rampage
On Bush’s last outrage.
You say I’m so sage,
Go check out my web page. …
(Bloggers’ Rhapsody is continued here.)
Tags: Blogger Humor, Blogging Humor, Computer Humor, Marketing Humor, Publicity Humor, Technology Humor
Posted in Blogging Humor, Computer Humor, Marketing Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Publicity Humor, Social Satire, Spoof Lyrics, Technology Humor | Comments Off on Bloggers’ Rhapsody (Can Be Sung To Gershwin’s “Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off”)
