Archive for the ‘Limericks’ Category
Saturday, December 21st, 2024
Old Man Winter’s arrived. We got snow.
But it wasn’t a terrible blow;
Just an inch (maybe two)
Graced New York, right on cue,
With its glistening view, all aglow.
Tags: New York City, New York City Limerick, New York Limerick, Snow Limerick, Weather Limerick, Winter Limerick, Winter Solstice
Posted in Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | Comments Off on Our NYC Solstice (Limerick)
Monday, December 16th, 2024
Happy “Stupid Toy Day,” which is celebrated on December 16.
This short verse might sound sexist to some,
So I risk being told I am dumb:
I think men (“grown-up” boys)
Are more prone to like toys
That are daft. (Oy, I should have kept mum.)
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Odd Holidays, Odd Holidays December Holidays, Toys Humor, Toys Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on It’s “Stupid Toy Day” Oh Boy! (Limerick)
Monday, December 16th, 2024
It’s December 16, the birthday of one of my favorite composers, Ludwig van Beethoven. And to celebrate, I’ve written both a limerick and a haiku:
Since it’s Beethoven’s birthday, please laud
All his great compositions. Applaud!
And don’t ask me to choose
Which is best. I’d need booze!
And there’s no room for boos when I’m awed.
*****
Cacophonic sounds
often spewed by symphonies–
Bring back Beethoven!
Tags: Beethoven, Beethoven Haiku, Beethoven Limerick, Beethoven Verse, Music Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musical Verse
Posted in Haiku & Senryu, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems | Comments Off on Happy Birthday, Beethoven! (Limerick and Haiku)
Sunday, December 15th, 2024
Today (December 15) is International Tea Day. (It’s also celebrated on May 21.)
Cappuccino’s my drink. Please, no tea!
Don’t bring green, black, or white. Leave me be!
No, I DON’T long for oolong.
I KNOW not to brew long.
Happy “Tea Day” to all, except ME!
Tags: Cappuccino Humor, Cappuccino Limerick, December Holidays, Drinking Humor, Drinking Limerick, Odd Holiday, Odd Holidays, Tea Humor, Tea Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Saturday, December 14th, 2024
Today (December 14) is “National Screwdriver Day.”
It is “Screwdriver Day” — not the tool,
But the cocktail. So go ahead — drool.
Never tried one? You should!
It’s surprisingly good.
Just ignore those who claim it ain’t cool.
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Alcohol Limerick, Alcohol Verse, December Holidays, Drink Humor, Drink Limerick, Drinks Humor, Odd Holidays, Orange Juice, Screwdriver Day, Screwdrivers, Tools Humor, Vodka, Vodka Humor, Vodka Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Celebrating “Screwdriver Day” (Limerick)
Saturday, November 30th, 2024
Happy Computer Security Day!
It’s Computer Security Day.
Do you feel like you’re safe? I’ll bet NAY!
Thieves with bots? There are many
Who’re after each penny.
You don’t use your antennae? Oy Vey!
Tags: Bots, Computer Humor, Computer Limerick, Computer Security, Computer Verse, Money Humor, Money Limerick, Security Humor, Spam Poetry, Technology, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick
Posted in Computer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Robot Humor, Technology Humor | Comments Off on Computer Insecurity (Limerick)
Thursday, November 28th, 2024
’24 has been tough! That’s no jive.
(Trump’s election sure gets no high-five!)
On a personal note,
Hubby Mark gets my vote…
And I’m thankful we’re both still alive.
Tags: Car Accident, Donald Trump, Election, Marriage Limerick, Personal Limerick, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Limerick
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Personal | 1 Comment »
Sunday, November 24th, 2024
After learning that today is National Sardines Day, I felt compelled to pen this limerick:
How I loathe the vile smell of sardines.
It’s far worse than the farts caused by beans.
When my spouse grabs a can
Of those critters… oh, man,
I must flee, lest I sully my jeans.
Tags: Food Humor, Food Limerick, Marriage Humor, Sardines, Sardines Humor, Sardines Limerick, Smell Humor, Smell Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Smell Humor | Comments Off on Spurning Sardines (Limerick)
Sunday, November 17th, 2024
If you long to avoid Twitter’s knaves,
Its competitor, Bluesky, gets raves!
Countless sane folks have fled
Elon’s X and instead
Have joined Bluesky — now one of my faves.
Tags: Bluesky, Computer Limerick, Elon Musk, Elon Musk Humor, Social Media, Social Media Limerick, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick, Twitter
Posted in Computer Humor, Limericks, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor, Twitter Humor | Comments Off on NOT Blue About Bluesky (Limerick)
Thursday, August 15th, 2024
I’m amazingly popular with “male” bot “surgeons.” (Also “generals.”) Hence this limerick:
My dear friend-request sender, I vet
All such queries. The answer is NYET!
Why my thundering NO?
Cuz I’d bet lots of dough
That your Doc-Surgeon bio’s all wet!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Facebook Humor, Facebook Limerick, Friendship, Social Media, Social Media Limerick, Social Media Poetry
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Facebook Humor, Friendship Humor, Limericks, Social Media Humor | Comments Off on Dear Facebook Friend-Requester (Limerick)
Sunday, May 19th, 2024
“I’m afraid of long tunnels! Can’t do it,”
Said a claustrophobe. “Stop, or you’ll rue it!”
“Close your eyes and don’t whine,”
Said his wife. “You’ll be fine!
You can open them now. You got through it!”
Tags: Claustrophobia, Driving Humor, Driving Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Mental Health Humor, Mental Health Limerick, Tunnel Humor, Tunnel Limerick, Tunnels
Posted in Car & Driving Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mental Health Humor | Comments Off on Tunnel Vision (Limerick)
Saturday, May 18th, 2024
Said the coach to the batter, “The fray
That you started ain’t going away:
Remember the gurneys?
Those ‘fans’ got attorneys
Who’ve sued us for batt’ry today.”
Tags: Attorney Humor, Attorney Limerick, Baseball Limerick, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Lawsuit Limerick, Legal Humor, Legal Limerick, Sports Humor, Sports Limerick, Violence Limerick
Posted in Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Sports Humor | Comments Off on The Fray (Limerick)
Friday, May 17th, 2024
A young woman who talks a blue streak,
Has a voice that’s a maddening shriek.
But although she is yappy,
Her hubby seems happy.
(It must help that the man’s an antique.)
Tags: Age Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Communication Humor, Communication Limerick, Husband Wife Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Speech Humor, Speech Limerick, Voice Humor, Voice Limerick
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on The Shrieker (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 15th, 2024
“Stop the punning! I’m begging you, hon.
It’s not normal to constantly pun.
You’re driving me nuts!
No ifs, ands, or buts!”
The rejoinder: “Butt out, or we’re done!”
Tags: Punning Humor, Punning Limerick, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Language Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Undone By Punning? (Limerick)
Sunday, May 12th, 2024
“You are so out of touch,” said the teen
To his mother, “and also you’re mean!”
“I do not like your tone,”
She said, seizing his phone.
“And now YOU’RE out of touch. No more screen!”
Tags: Communication Humor, Communication Limerick, Holiday Humor, Holiday Limerick, Mothers Day Humor, Mothers Day Limerick, Parenting Humor, Parenting Limerick, Phone Humor, Phone Limerick, Smart Phone Humor, Smart Phone Limerick, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick, Telephone Humor, Telephone Limerick, Telephone Verse
Posted in Children Humor, Communication Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Holiday Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, May 11th, 2024
My damn email spam’s out of control!
My attempts at a fix? A black hole!
Unsubscribing with zeal
Simply proves that I’m REAL,
A great target — a gullible soul.
Tags: Computer Humor, Computer Limerick, Email Humor, Email Limerick, Internet Humor, Internet Limerick, Spam Humor, Spam Limerick
Posted in Computer Humor, Email Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Spam Humor, Technology Humor | Comments Off on My Losing Battle With Spam (Limerick)
Friday, May 10th, 2024
When instructed to “Look over there”
At an elephant, artwork, or chair,
I will look the wrong way,
At some other display.
Will I see what I’m meant to see? Ne’er!
I don’t mean to look elsewhere, I swear.
Yet perversely, I can’t help but stare
To the left, when the right’s
Where I might see the sights
That my hubby’s attempting to share.
Tags: Direction Humor, Direction Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Sightseeing, Sightseeing Humor, Sightseeing Limerick, Travel Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Travel Humor | Comments Off on My Skewed Views (Limerick)
Thursday, May 9th, 2024
The next time you hear about or (even worse) run across a disembodied foot that’s washed ashore, there’s a solid scientific explanation: “Feet easily disarticulate and when they are attached to a flotation device such as a running shoe, they are easily washed ashore…”
This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?
You wear running shoes? Try not to drown!
If you do while they’re on, you’ll stay down,
Except for your feet,
Which will fall off — not neat —
Float to shore and draw many a frown.
Tags: Pacific Northwest, Science Humor, Science Limerick, Shoes Humor, Shoes Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Limericks, Science Humor | Comments Off on Footloose Limerick
Thursday, May 9th, 2024
Though the calendar tells me it’s spring,
It’s belied by each temp’rature swing.
We used heat just last week.
Now AC we must tweak.
I guess winter is due for a fling.
Tags: New York City Verse, New York Weather, Seasonal Humor, Seasonal Poems, Seasonal Verse, Seasons, Weather Humor, Weather Limerick, Weather Poem
Posted in Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | Comments Off on Seasonal Gripes (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 8th, 2024
“I’m exhausted,” said Pete. “Must unwind
And relax, to escape from the grind.
I’ve been moving non-stop.
On a couch I should plop,
But I can’t: That’s not how I’m inclined!”
Tags: Hyper Limerick, Relaxation Humor, Relaxation Limerick, Stress Humor, Stress Limerick
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Limericks | Comments Off on Hyper Pete (Limerick)
