I’m attempting to write a short ditty
About something that’s dreadfully shitty.
But I’m getting the blues
From my options — can’t choose
The right shitstorm. (Things lately ain’t pretty!)
Archive for the ‘Limericks’ Category
Limerick Ditty
Thursday, April 10th, 2025Clutter Conflict (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 8th, 2025An old fellow who’d putter all day
Would refuse to throw refuse away.
When his wife tried to deal
With his clutter, he’d squeal
As he rescued his rubbish array.
Boorish Limerick
Saturday, March 29th, 2025An old boor who believes that he’s hot
Is considered decidedly NOT.
He’s called “too cool for school”
And an “arrogant fool
With less charm than your average bot.”
Fishing For A Limerick
Wednesday, March 26th, 2025For the record, I hate eating fish and I’ve never gone fishing. (But I had a fun time with the prompt word “catch.”)
We were s’posed to go fishing, but natch,
It’s too stormy again; we must scratch
All our catch-eating plans.
Guess I’ll open two cans
Of smoked trout. Why’s there always a catch?
Yet Another St. Patrick’s Day Limerick
Tuesday, March 18th, 2025My dear husband’s gone off to a pub.
I’ve stayed home cuz I hate all the grub
That they serve on this day.
Consume corned beef? No way!
Plus I’ve joined the new “Recluses Club.”
Jammed Up Limerick
Saturday, March 15th, 2025Can you help me get out of my jam?
I was eating some jelly and, damn,
It’s all over my dress
And I’m rather a mess,
So I need something STAT to look glam!
Mislaid Humor (Limerick)
Monday, February 24th, 2025When comedians freak out and fold
Cuz their jokes left an audience cold,
It is said that they’ve laid
An egg. I’m afraid
That their jokes (and those eggs) can’t be sold.
Where’s “The Funny?” (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 12th, 2025How I love to write lim’ricks amusing!
But with news so depressing and bruising,
I’m confined to a tonic
Of verse that’s sardonic.
Blame my Muse! (She’s morose, so she’s snoozing.)
Loose Ends (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 22nd, 2025“Have you noticed that men can’t abide
Being told that a lace is untied?
A mere warning that’s gentle
Turns many males ‘mental.’
I am fit to be tied,” cried the bride.
A Workplace Row (Limerick)
Saturday, January 11th, 2025When the staff mentioned leaks and a draft,
Their mean manager grimaced and laughed.
Then he raved and he ranted,
But soon was supplanted;
Staffers craftily pinned him for graft.
Memories (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 8th, 2025While in school, I liked one type of test;
Those with “multiple choice.” They’re the best!
Choices helped me regain
Info deep in my brain,
So they made me look smart, when I guessed.
Rooting Around For A Limerick
Wednesday, January 8th, 2025The young dentist was rooting around
In my mouth, till he told me he’d found
The root cause of my pain:
“Please don’t frown, Mrs. Kane,
But it’s plain that you’re root-canal bound.”
No Rest For The Weary? (Limerick)
Saturday, January 4th, 2025Some assert, “There’s no rest for the weary,”
A bleak proverb that makes many teary.
And yet I can attest
That a multi-bar rest
Tends to make bleary oboists cheery.
Bus Tour Blues (Limerick and Haiku)
Sunday, December 29th, 2024Poetry prompts are big on Bluesky. And one of them (the word “tour”) inspired me to write about something I’ve never written about before: touring with the Dallas Symphony way back in 1970.
So here’s both a limerick and a haiku about that experience.
Just imagine an orchestra tour
Via a bus. It was tough to endure:
Two long months on the road,
Bad hotels, our abode…
And no Net, so for boredom, no cure!
Traveled via bus
on 2-month orchestra tour–
Played oboe … and chess.
My Wordy Admission (Limerick)
Friday, December 27th, 2024I’ll admit it: I’m one of those nerds
Who enjoy learning obsolete words,
Like “forswunk” which (I’m told)
Means exhausted. I’m old
And yes being forswunk’s for the birds.
Just Wondering (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 25th, 2024With the ceaseless review of elections,
Pompous discourse, post-mortem reflections
Upon who has been bloodied,
Has anyone studied
The impact (with stats) on erections?
Limerick Ode To “National Short Person Day”
Sunday, December 22nd, 2024It is “National Short Person Day,”
So I can’t resist shouting “Hooray!”
On a good day, I’m just
Five foot zero, and lust
For more height. (But my ruler says “Nay!”)
Our NYC Solstice (Limerick)
Saturday, December 21st, 2024Old Man Winter’s arrived. We got snow.
But it wasn’t a terrible blow;
Just an inch (maybe two)
Graced New York, right on cue,
With its glistening view, all aglow.
It’s “Stupid Toy Day” Oh Boy! (Limerick)
Monday, December 16th, 2024Happy “Stupid Toy Day,” which is celebrated on December 16.
This short verse might sound sexist to some,
So I risk being told I am dumb:
I think men (“grown-up” boys)
Are more prone to like toys
That are daft. (Oy, I should have kept mum.)
