Archive for the ‘Limerick-Offs’ Category
Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with one of these two alternative first lines:
There once was a kitty named Brad…
or
There once was a fellow named Brad…
Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard five-line limerick is fine, of course.)
Catty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a kitty named Brad
Whose attraction to catnip was rad.
He would sniff it and eat it
And quickly deplete it.
Was kitty addicted? A tad.
When his owner had failed to buy more,
The kitty sneaked into a store
And ate all the herb,
But got caught at the curb
Sound asleep and beginning to snore.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Related Posts: First (And Last) Visit and Ode To Genetically Altered Cats
Tags: Addiction Poem, Cat Humor, Catnip Limerick, Cats Humor, Pet Store Humor, Pets Verse, Poetry Prompt, Writing Prompts
Posted in Addiction Humor, Animal & Pet Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 13 Comments »
Wednesday, February 24th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as a first line:
There once was a woman named Ann…
Here’s mine:
A Miss-Misunderstanding
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a woman named Ann,
Who people assumed was a man.
When she walked in the ladies,
They yelled out, “No matees!”
And that’s when the shit hit the fan.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Bathroom Humor, Feminist Humor, Poetry Prompt, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Feminist Satire, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts | 27 Comments »
Wednesday, February 17th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as a first line:
“An elderly fellow named James…”
Here’s mine:
Endearing Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An elderly fellow named James
Had trouble remembering names,
So he often used “dear,”
Which hurt his career.
His defense? “I just did it to dames.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Age Humor, Career Poem, Feminist Humor, Poetry Prompt, Remembering Names, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Feminist Satire, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Memory Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 17 Comments »
Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
A crotchety fellow named Rich
Would always complain, “Life’s a bitch!”
He griped and he grumbled
Whenever plans tumbled,
Cuz kvetching for Rich was his niche.
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Complaining, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 11 Comments »
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
Agency Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was an agent, quite tough,
Who cut all his deals in the buff.
When his clients asked why,
He would give this reply:
“When I’m nude, no one dares give me guff.”
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Agent, Business, Clients, Deals, Negotiation, Nudity, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Business Humor, Communication Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Money & Finance Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts | 7 Comments »
Thursday, June 25th, 2009
My Advice To Spammers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear spammers, I wish you’d take heed.
A spell-check is something you need.
Though I’m surely no Freud,
You should really avoid
Sending “greeting” cards spelled more like “greed.”
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Computers, Email, Freud, Greeting Cards, Limericks, Spam, Spelling, Technology, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Email Humor, Internet Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Spam Humor, Technology Humor | 14 Comments »
Monday, June 22nd, 2009
June in New York’s been a wash-out this year. So I’ve written both a limerick and a haiku about our rainy weather. And I welcome you to write some weather verse too:
First my limerick:
June Down The Drain
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh, when will the rain ever wane?
Our weather this June’s been insane.
We are having a bout
With the inverse of drought.
So whoever’s in charge, please refrain!
And now my haiku:
Rainy New York June
Has identity crisis:
It thinks it’s April.
Feel free to write your own weather-related limerick (using my first line, if you’d like) and/or weather haiku and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my FB friends in a limerick-off and haiku-off.
Tags: April, Drought, Haiku & Senryu, Identity Crisis, June, Limerick, New York, Rain, Showers, Verse, Weather, Writing Prompts
Posted in Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 17 Comments »
Thursday, June 18th, 2009
Empty Nest (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was feeling depressed.
(Her syndrome is called “empty nest.”)
Her home was too calm.
She missed being a mom—
Though her spouse “helped” by being a pest.
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Depression, Empty Nest Syndrome, Family, House & Home, Husbands, Limericks, Mental Health, Parenting, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mental Health Humor | 19 Comments »
Monday, June 15th, 2009
Harried Spouse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a guy with no hair.
He’d shaved it all off on a dare.
His wife threw a fit
And she said,”This is it!
Grow it back, or I’ll have an affair!”
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Appearance, Baldness, Hair, Husband, Marriage, Wife, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family Verse, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 15 Comments »
Friday, June 12th, 2009
Clerk Antics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a government clerk
Who tended to act like a jerk.
When someone asked why,
He’d often reply:
“It’s a wonderful perk of my work.”
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Clerks, Government, Jerks, Limericks, Perks, Workplace, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 9 Comments »
Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
Not An American Idol
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a woman named June
Whose singing was way out of tune.
But she sang for her mate,
Who thought she was great,
Which is why his saloon’s gone to ruin.
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Husband, Intonation, Marriage, Music, Saloon, Singing, Tune, Voice, Wife, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 12 Comments »
Tuesday, June 9th, 2009
Luddite Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A hard-working author named Fink
Insisted on writing with ink.
He hated computers
And called them polluters.
Some claim he’s our long Missing Link.
By the way, in addition to being a recovering lawyer, I’m a recovering luddite and recovering technophobe. In fact, the first anthology my essays ever appeared in was Minutes of the Lead Pencil Club: Second Thoughts on the Electronic Revolution.
(Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.)
Tags: Authors & Playwrights, Computers, Electronic Revolution, Limericks, Luddites, Polluters, Technology, Writers, Writing Prompts
Posted in Books, Computer Humor, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Technology Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
Dim-Witted Driver (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A dim-witted driver named Ed
Often finds that his battery’s dead.
He’s forgetful most nights
And he leaves on the lights.
That’s why Edward is no longer wed.
As always, please feel free to write your own limerick, using the same first line, and post it in my comments and/or on my Facebook post.
Note: My husband Mark is a frequent source of dead battery-inspired humor, including these two humor columns: Tow Guy Blues and False Alarm. Thus far, however, we remain married. In fact tomorrow’s our 31st wedding anniversary.
UPDATE: Happy National Battery Day (celebrated yearly on February 18th, in honor of physicist Alessandro Volta’s birthday.)
UPDATE 2: Check Your Batteries Day falls on the second Sunday in March.
Tags: Absent-Minded, Alessandro Volta, Automobiles, Battery, Cars, Check Your Batteries Day, Drivers, February Holidays, Husbands, Lights, Limericks, March Holidays, Marriage, National Battery Day, Odd Holidays, Physicists, Science Verse, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Car & Driving Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Memory Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | 8 Comments »
Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009
It’s time for another limerick-off. Feel free to write your own limerick, using the same first line, and post it in my comments and on Facebook.
Commuter Woes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a fellow named Wayne
Who commuted each day on the train.
The fare was a crime.
It was rarely on time,
Yet was faster than taking a plane.
Tags: Airlines, Commuters, Fares, Planes, Railroad, Trains, Travel, Writing Prompts
Posted in Commuting Verse, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Time Humor, Travel Humor | 8 Comments »
Thursday, May 28th, 2009
Employee Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A hard-working woman named May
Was employed at a very low pay.
And to make matters worse,
Her boss stole her purse.
How is that for bad fortune! Oy Vey!
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Bosses, Career, Crime, Employer, Money, Theft, Work, Yiddish
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 9 Comments »
Friday, May 22nd, 2009
Obstreperous Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An obstreperous fellow named Joe
Picked a fight with a long-standing foe.
It began with a curse.
He soon needed a nurse.
Now Joseph is missing a toe.
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Argument, Curse, Fight, Health, Nurse
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 4 Comments »
Thursday, May 21st, 2009
Doc Mockery (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A nervous young fellow named Phil
Asked his doc if he needed a will.
He responded, “Don’t worry,
But kindly go hurry
And pay up your overdue bill.”
Update: Happy National Doctors’ Day! (March 30th)
Tags: Bills, Doctors, Doctors Humor, Health, Law, March Holidays, Medicine, Money, National Doctors Day, Odd Holidays, Patients, Wills
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | Comments Off on Doc Mockery
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009
Pedestrian Plea (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a fellow named Mike,
Who was bored while out riding his bike.
So he spoke on his cell,
Did some texting, then fell.
Multitaskers, oh please take a hike.
Update: I’ve just found out that November 17th Is “National Take A Hike Day.” Something tells me, it may be meant to celebrate something a bit different.
Tags: Biking, Cell Phone, Multitasking, November Holidays, Outdoors, Sports, Take A Hike Day, Texting
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Health Verse, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Multitasking Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Recreation & Fun Humor, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor, Walking Humor | 1 Comment »
