Archive for the ‘Limerick-Offs’ Category
Friday, June 25th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who drank to excess…
Here’s mine:
Lush Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who drank to excess
Got to work in a state of undress:
Wore no shirt and no shoes,
Had a briefcase of booze
And, quite tipsy, said “Dress to impress.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Alcoholic Poems, Appearance Humor, Booze Humor, Clothing Poem, Drinking Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Addiction Humor, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 26 Comments »
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman succumbed to a whim…
Here’s mine:
Whimsical Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman succumbed to a whim
And enrolled in an overpriced gym.
She tried free weights, machines,
Even yoga for teens,
Till she ran out of money and vim.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Gym Membership, Health Club Humor, Health Limerick, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Whimsy Verse, Writing Prompts, Yoga
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Gym Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Sports Humor | 23 Comments »
Tuesday, June 15th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A pompous conductor named Clyde…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Pompous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A pompous conductor named Clyde
Was worshipped by fans far and wide.
But his beat was unclear
And he had a bad ear,
So the orchestra cheered when he died.
I suppose such behavior is rude
And betrays an extremely bad ‘tude.
But I can not abide
Bad conductors like Clyde
Whose conducting deserves to be booed.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Note: I have lots more music humor here.
Tags: Conducting Humor, Death Limerick, Music Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Symphony Orchestra Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts | 26 Comments »
Thursday, June 10th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who had an affair…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Affairs
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who had an affair
Got caught by his lovely wife, Claire.
She considered divorce —
Took a far diff’rent course.
Now her spouse does not live anywhere.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Divorce Humor, Husband Wife Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Legal Limerick, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Self-Help Humor | 23 Comments »
Tuesday, June 8th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
An infamous author named Gene…
Here’s mine:
Infamous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An infamous author named Gene
Was obnoxious and often obscene.
He was paid a steep price
For his writing, concise.
His prose was, like Gene, lean and mean.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Authors & Playwrights, Poetry & Prompts, Writers, Writing Prompts
Posted in Authors & Playwrights, Behavior & Personality, Creativity Verse, Language Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Writing & Publishing Humor | 25 Comments »
Thursday, June 3rd, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A creative young woman named Ro…
Here’s mine:
Creative Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A creative young woman named Ro
Snagged a role in an Off-Broadway show.
She could sing, dance, write verse,
Paint and bake, but her curse
Was she never could raise any dough.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Acting Limerick, Creativity, Money Poems, Off-Broadway, Poetry & Prompts, Theater Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Creativity Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 15 Comments »
Thursday, May 27th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who hated to clean…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Not-So-Clean Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who hated to clean
Was a bach’lor. (You know what I mean.)
His home was a wreck,
Filled with dust-covered dreck.
The mess was quite frankly obscene.
When he took a cute date to his place,
She fled, saying “What a disgrace!
I refuse to date pigs.
Get me out of these digs.
And my phone number? Kindly erase.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Bachelor Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Poem, House & Home, Household Chores, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Spring Cleaning, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Chores Humor, Dating Humor, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 15 Comments »
Monday, May 24th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A hard-working fellow named Zeke…
Here’s mine:
Nerdy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A hard-working fellow named Zeke
Was thought of as rather a geek.
His tech expertise
Brought most to their knees.
But small talk? To Zeke it was Greek.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
UPDATE: Happy International Programmers’ Day, January 7th!
And happy Geek Pride Day, May 25th!
Tags: Communication Humor, Geek Pride Day, Geeks, International Programmers' Day, January Holidays, May Holidays, Nerds, Poetry & Prompts, Techie Humor, Technology Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 14 Comments »
Thursday, May 20th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A brassy old woman named Joan…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a three-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Brassy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A brassy old woman named Joan
Loves the trumpet, but hates the trombone.
When people ask why
She says, “Married a guy
Who played bone with a terrible tone.”
She continues, “He made my head ache,
And he played it all night, for God’s sake.
I divorced him on grounds
Of cacophonic sounds.
Then I wed a French horn-playing rake.”
“He cheated on me day and night.
So I fin’ly said, go fly a kite!
Now I’m single again
And I’ll never date men
Who play brass, cuz those guys ain’t polite.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Brass Players, Divorce Humor, French Horn, Marriage Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Musical Instruments, Poetry & Prompts, Trombone, Trumpet, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 25 Comments »
Wednesday, May 12th, 2010
I couldn’t let International Limerick Day go by without posting a new limerick prompt, could I? So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A romantic young fellow named Will…
Here’s mine:
Romantic Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A romantic young fellow named Will
Was in love with a woman named Jill.
He proposed on his knees,
But then started to sneeze.
Perhaps he should phone Dr. Phil.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Related Post: Romancing The Stoic
Tags: Dr. Phil, Marriage Limerick, National Limerick Day, Poetry & Prompts, Psychology Humor, Relationship, Romance Humor, Wedding Proposal Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Romance Humor | 31 Comments »
Thursday, May 6th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A hard-working mother named May…
Here’s mine:
Just In Time For Mother’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A hard-working mother named May
Had three children and twins on the way.
When her spouse heard the news,
He guzzled some booze
And grumbled, “I should have been gay.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Related Post: Mother’s Day Limericks
Tags: Children Humor, Holiday Verse, Marriage Limerick, May Holidays, Moms Humor, Mother's Day Limericks, Mothering Day, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Pregnancy Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 18 Comments »
Monday, May 3rd, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
An eccentric soprano named Brett…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a three-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Operatic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An eccentric soprano named Brett
Auditioned to sing at the Met.
Her Lucia was bad,
So the maestro got mad
And attempted to throw her off set.
She screamed, “You do not know the score.
I was meant to perform Lammermoor.
The problem’s your flute,
And my voice is a beaut!
Your reviewers will call me top drawer.”
“You shall never perform on this stage,”
The conductor replied, red with rage.
“Your coloratura
Is missing bravura.
And your farts! You belong in a cage!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Related Post: Guide To The Opera Impaired
UPDATE: Opera Day is February 8.
Tags: Audition Humor, Eccentrics, February Holidays, Flute, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays, Opera Companies, Opera Day, Opera Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Singing Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | 21 Comments »
Sunday, April 25th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A wealthy old woman named Kate…
Here’s mine:
A Dog Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Left her dog an enormous estate.
Her children all stewed
Till they finally sued.
Who won? Well, each lawyer did great.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Children Humor, Dog Verse, Estate Limerick, Inheritance Humor, Lawyers, Litigation Humor, Money Poems, Parental Humor, Pet Owners, Poetry & Prompts, Wealth, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 26 Comments »
Monday, April 19th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A miserly fellow name Joe…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Miserly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A miserly fellow name Joe
Was obsessed with his weekly cash flow.
The guy was so petty,
He ordered wife Betty
To flush once a day. She said, “No!”
Then he yelled, “You are wasteful and low!”
But she said, “It’s distasteful. No go!”
So he sued for divorce—
An asinine course.
Now the lawyers have all of his dough.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Bathroom Humor, Cash Flow Humor, Divorce Humor, Law Limerick, Marriage Verse, Misers, Money Poems, Obsession Verse, Pettiness, Poetry & Prompts, Toilet Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, House & Home Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Obsessions Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 16 Comments »
Wednesday, April 14th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
There once was a baker, Lenore…
Here’s mine:
Half-Baked Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a baker, Lenore,
Who’d been baking three decades or more.
But she quit. When asked why,
She responded, “Hate pie!”
You’d think she’d have noticed before.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Baking Humor, Food Poem, Job Humor, Pie Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 16 Comments »
Wednesday, April 7th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A symphony cellist named Kate…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Musical Chairs
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A symphony cellist named Kate
Shares her stand with a man, once her mate.
Though they play well in sync,
She thinks him a fink
And longs for his move out of state.
But orchestra jobs are quite rare,
And he can’t find a gig on a dare.
Sadly, neither can she,
So together they’ll be
Making music. At least she’s first chair.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Cello Humor, Divorce Humor, Marriage Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Symphony Orchestra Humor, Symphony Verse, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts | 13 Comments »
Thursday, April 1st, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
An unemployed fellow named Nick…
Here’s mine:
Building That Career
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An unemployed fellow named Nick
Had an interview — poured it on thick.
Though a snob, he proclaimed
That he always had aimed
For a job using mortar and brick.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Building Limerick, Construction Humor, Interview Humor, Job Hunting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Snobs, Unemployment Humor, Workplace Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 8 Comments »
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman whose hair was quite gray…
Here’s mine:
Not-So-Colorful Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman whose hair was quite gray
Was told she should dye it — said “Nay!”
She opined that most tresses
When colored were messes,
And cautioned that “Dye does not pay.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Aging Limerick, Getting Older Verse, Gray Hair, Hair Dye Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Wednesday, March 17th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as its first line:
There’s a hint of sweet spring in the air.
Here’s mine:
A Season For Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a hint of sweet spring in the air,
And I’m strolling outside, both arms bare.
Yes, I know it can’t last.
Winter surely will blast
One more storm, but right now I don’t care.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, you’re welcome to join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: March Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Seasonal Verse, Spring Holidays, Spring Limerick, Weather Poem, Winter Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Seasons Humor, Walking Humor, Weather Humor | 19 Comments »
Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as a first line:
A wealthy old fellow named Bart…
Here’s mine:
A Limerick Meal
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A wealthy old fellow named Bart
Began ev’ry meal with a fart.
When guests came to dine
They’d pretend all was fine
Cuz they hoped to inherit his art.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Art Limerick, Digestion Humor, Dinner Humor, Fart Limerick, Greed Humor, Inheritance Humor, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Smell Humor | 12 Comments »
