Archive for the ‘Limerick-Offs’ Category
Thursday, November 11th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A guy who was drunk and lacked smarts…
Here’s mine:
Drunken Limerick (Drunken Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was drunk and lacked smarts
Was playing a bar game of darts.
His dart throw went wild
And he injured a child.
He should stick to a card game like hearts.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Accidents, Bars, Card Games, Darts, Drinking Limerick, Hearts, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Games Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry Contest, Sports Humor | 18 Comments »
Sunday, October 31st, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A frazzled new father named Jim…
Here’s mine:
Frazzled Limerick (Frazzled Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A frazzled new father named Jim
Bought his baby toy trains on a whim.
When his wife saw the gift,
She was terribly miffed,
So she yelled, “That’s for you. What’s for him?”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Update: May 2 is Baby Day.
Tags: Baby Day, Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, May Holidays, Model Trains Humor, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Monday, October 25th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was late for his train…
Here’s mine, and my audio version is here. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Late Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was late for his train.
Being tardy was always his bane.
In his youth and his prime
He was rarely on time,
Which drove his whole fam’ly insane.
After years of his lateness, his mate
Lost her mind — she was way past irate.
Using all of her might
She beat him for spite.
Now that fellow’s eternally late.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Bad Habits Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Lateness Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Time Verse, Trains, Transportation, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Procrastination Humor, Time Humor | 30 Comments »
Sunday, October 17th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow whose car had been towed…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Pigheaded Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose car had been towed
Freaked out when he heard what he owed.
“Highway robb’ry,” he yelled.
Then he sued — price upheld,
Plus penalties — made him explode.
So he threatened to file an appeal,
Though his wife said, “Enough! Make a deal!”
He responded, “No way!
I simply won’t pay.
Let them keep my damn automobile.”
But then he was hit with a lien.
And his wife said, “You see what I mean?
End this now or perforce
I will sue for divorce.”
That’s what comes of the stubbornness gene.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Car & Driving Humor, Divorce Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Stubbornness, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Car & Driving Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 18 Comments »
Monday, October 11th, 2010
It’s time for another Limerick-Off. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
An attractive but cold-hearted tease…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Teaser
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Could manipulate fellows with ease.
She’d always get favors
In all sorts of flavors.
The guys? They got naught but the freeze.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Males and Females, Men and Women Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 23 Comments »
Sunday, October 3rd, 2010
It’s time for another Limerick-Off. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A naked young woman named May…
Here’s mine:
Naked Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A naked young woman named May
Posed for art classes nude ev’ry day.
She enjoyed being sketched
And liked sculpture, but kvetched
Herself hoarse posing naked on hay.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Art Humor, Art School, Education & School Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Posing Nude, Sculpture, Sketching, Writing Prompts
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Creativity Verse, Education & School Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 30 Comments »
Monday, September 27th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who yearned for great fame…
Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Infamous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who yearned for great fame
Had no talent that people could name.
But reality’s odd:
Her voluptuous bod
Led to stints on American Dame.
The series showed gals well endowed,
As scantily clad as allowed.
Then losers were kicked,
As front-runners were picked.
You don’t like that idea? Join the crowd.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Appearance Humor, Fame Limerick, Media Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Reality Shows, TV Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Entertainment Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Media Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Social Satire, Television (TV) Humor | 20 Comments »
Monday, September 20th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who owned only one suit…
Here’s mine. (It’s a six-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Suitable Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who owned only one suit
Could afford many more with his loot.
But he hated to wear’em
And just could not bear’em,
Which led to a workplace dispute.
The co that he worked for was sold.
“The new owner likes suits,” he was told.
“That’s too bad,” he replied.
“I just can not abide
Dressing up and I won’t be controlled.”
“Read my memo — now suits are a must,”
He was warned. “You must look upper crust.”
He replied, “Won’t comply!”
“Then I bid you goodbye,”
Said the buyer, with scorn and disgust.
“But wait, there’s a suit that I like,”
He responded. “I won’t take a hike.
It’s a suit of this sort:
I shall take you to court.
Watch your legal bills mount up and spike.”
The new owner refused to back down.
He assumed that the guy was a clown
Who never would sue.
That assumption, he’d rue.
He soon learned that this “clown” owned the town.
Yes, he worked just for fun — that’s the hitch.
He missed working — it gave him an itch.
So he did file that suit
And won even more loot.
Then he bought out the co. Ain’t that rich?
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
And if you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Tags: Bosses, Career Poem, Clothing Poem, Law Humor, Lawsuit Humor, Litigation Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Wealth, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Business Humor, Fashion Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 25 Comments »
Wednesday, September 15th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who readily cried…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Weepy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who readily cried
Never learned to take movies in stride.
She would feel oh so low
And her tear drops would flow
When a character sickened or died.
She’d weep for the good guys and bad—
Did not matter — they both made her sad.
How her husband freaked out
When she sobbed for a lout
Like a killer or mean, deadbeat dad.
He told her, “You’re acting insane.
Is there something amiss with your brain?
Please don’t cry for a villain
Who merits his killin’.
Put clamps on your waterworks main.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)
Tags: Crying, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Tears, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Friday, September 3rd, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Caffeinated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine.
He’s addicted, alas, to the bean.
Not to coffee or tea—
Cappuccino, you see,
Is his weakness, at prices obscene.
As his drinks climb past five bucks a pop,
He keeps trying and failing to stop.
He decided last week
It was high time to seek
A solution — went online to shop.
As he browsed. he found makers galore
At an Internet kitchenware store.
So he bought one — now brews
His own drinks — he can’t lose,
Although now he is credit card poor.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)
Tags: Addiction Humor, Cappuccino Limerick, Coffee Drinks Humor, Coffee Verse, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Addiction Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Obsessions Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 36 Comments »
Monday, August 30th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was known for his buns…
Here’s mine:
Hot Crossed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was known for his buns
Attracted most gals — even nuns.
How those dames would delight
In his ass oh so tight,
Ignoring his poor half-baked puns.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Update — Note: I will soon start announcing these Limerick-Offs via private email instead of FB messaging, because FB group messaging anti-spam policies are making it very difficult for me to send legitimate messages out to groups of twenty. (My Facebook Straits recounts just some of my difficulties with FB’s anti-spam controls.)
So if you’d like to receive private email notices letting you know I’ve posted a new Limerick-Off first line, please send me a private email to MadKane@MadKane.com with the subject line “Limerick-Off Announcement Request.” Thanks very much!
Tags: Appearance Humor, Baking Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Food Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Puns, Wordplay, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Wordplay | 23 Comments »
Sunday, August 22nd, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who loved doing tricks…
Here’s mine:
Tricky Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who loved doing tricks
Had begun doing magic at six.
He was jailed for his skill
Cuz he used it for ill —
Made his enemies vanish for kicks.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
UPDATE: I’ve just learned via Cloaked Monk that today, March 24th, is Harry Houdini’s birthday. He was born was born Erich Weiss (spellings vary) on March 24, 1874 in Budapest, Hungary. Happy birthday Harry!
UPDATE 2: October 31st (the anniversary of Houdini’s death) is National Magic Day.
Tags: Crime, Enemies Humor, Houdini, Jail & Prison Humor, Magic, Magic Day, Magician, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | 30 Comments »
Monday, August 16th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A diva was slammed in the news…
Here’s mine:
Bad News Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A diva was slammed in the news.
The column was chock full of boos.
It lambasted her voice
And her musical choice.
Now that woman is singing the blues.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Bad News Humor, Blues Limerick, Diva Humor, Media Limerick, Music Limerick, Musical Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Prima Donnas, Reviews, Singers, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Media Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Publicity Humor | 20 Comments »
Wednesday, August 11th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who hated high tech…
Here’s mine:
High-Tech Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who hated high tech
Found computers a pain in the neck.
Whether Mac or PC,
How that gal longed to flee
Back five decades — a time machine trek.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Computer Verse, Luddites, Poetry & Prompts, Simple Life, Techie Humor, Technology Humor, Technophobes, Time Machine, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Computer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Technology Humor, Time Humor | 15 Comments »
Wednesday, August 4th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who worked for her dad…
Here’s mine:
Family Business
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who worked for her dad
Sure needed that job really bad.
Though she did have a skill,
Most employers don’t thrill
At a waitress who’s mastered her Strad.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Update: Happy National Waiters and Waitresses Day! (May 21)
Update 2: Happy National Violin Day! (December 13)
Tags: December Holidays, Employment Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Businesses, May Holidays, Money Poems, Musical Instruments Humor, Musical Verse, National Waiters and Waitresses Day, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Restaurants, Strad, Stradivarius Violins, Violins, Waitress Humor, Workplace Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 26 Comments »
Wednesday, July 28th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A guy in a polka dot tie…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.):
Dotty Men
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A guy in a polka dot tie
Felt stylish, though heaven knows why.
His jacket was garish.
His pants were nightmarish.
And non-matching sneakers — oh my!
Yet he sat around mocking the gals
With some equally odd-looking pals.
“She’s too thin. She’s too fat.”
“She’s an ugly old bat.”
Can’t imagine their warped rationales.
Why do fellows behave in that way —
Scorning gals who look cuter than they?
Do they all need a shrink?
I sure hope they don’t think
It will lead to a roll in the hay.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Poem, Fashion Verse, Feminism Humor, Lookism Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Fashion Humor, Feminist Satire, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Social Satire | 32 Comments »
Tuesday, July 20th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman with sev’ral degrees…
Here’s mine:
Educational Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman with sev’ral degrees
Fell in love with an ill-informed sleaze.
Her friends disapproved
And warned it behooved
Her to drop him and find a new squeeze.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Advice Limerick, Dating Satire, Education & School Humor, Friendship, Love Humor, Love Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Education & School Humor, Friendship Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Romance Humor | 24 Comments »
Monday, July 12th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A guy with his foot in a cast…
Here’s mine:
Lame Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A guy with his foot in a cast
Was driving his car way too fast.
His wheel struck a hole.
He lost all control,
And the time for a cast was surpassed.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Accident Poem, Automobile Humor, Car Limerick, Death Limerick, Health Limericks, Injury Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Car & Driving Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Wednesday, July 7th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who looked young for her years…
Here’s mine:
Unassailable Logic
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who looked young for her years
Was often assaulted by leers.
“That is rude,” pals opined,
But she said, “I don’t mind.
Soon enough they’ll replace them with jeers.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Aging Limerick, Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Poetry & Prompts, Rudeness, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts | 25 Comments »
Tuesday, June 29th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
On a hot, muggy day in July…
Here’s mine:
Hot Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On a hot, muggy day in July
Our A/C decided to die.
I phoned for a fix
And received a firm nix:
“It is too hot to work. We might fry”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Update: Air Conditioning Appreciation days run from July 3 to August 15.
Tags: A.C. Humor, A/C, Air Conditioning Humor, HVAC Humor, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Seasonal Verse, Summer Gripes, Technology Limerick, Weather Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 22 Comments »
