Archive for the ‘Limerick Of The Week’ Category
Saturday, August 11th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jesse Levy who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow had made a mistake
When trying to use Shake ‘N Bake.
The crumbs wouldn’t stick
To his poor chicken pick
‘Cause the darn thing was still wide awake!
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman had made a mistake
Though her mom warned, “Don’t marry a rake.”
At her wedding she knew
It was likely a clue
When his mistress popped out of the cake.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order): Elaine Spall, J Cosmo Newbery, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, and Jamie Hutchinson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Elaine Spall:
A woman had made a mistake.
Hit the gas pedal hard, not the brake.
Through the windshield, with flair
She undressed while mid-air.
Might as well skinny dip in the lake.
J Cosmo Newbery:
A fellow had made a mistake
And wed a young girl on the ‘make.’
Though she left him quite poor,
What annoyed him much more
Was that even her breasts had been fake.
Patrick McKeon:
A fellow had made a mistake
In his plan for a duck breeding lake.
He went and bought two,
But his flock never grew
Since you can’t mate a drake with a drake.
Scott Crowder:
A fellow had made a mistake,
That only a moron would make.
When a girl meets a guy,
And offers him pie,
Don’t tell her you’d rather have cake.
Jamie Hutchinson:
The thought that she’d made a mistake
Hit a lover at climax’s quake:
“Oh, God! What a stud!
But this curdles my blood:
I’m a succubus—he’s still awake!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Elaine Spall, J Cosmo Newbery, Jamie Hutchinson, Jesse Levy, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Sunday, August 5th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A physicist known for her flash
Is bold, she is brassy and brash.
The men at the helm
She MUST overwhelm.
She loves to find Adams to smash!
Congratulations to both Craig Dykstra and Mark Kane who are tied for this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award:
Craig Dykstra’s Ode to The Man in Black:
“Despite all the money you flash
Your Czechoslovakian bash
Won’t be held here – that’s right,
Johnny C’s on tonight
So we won’t allow Czechs, only Cash.”
Mark Kane:
A star who was known for her flash,
Wore a dress which was barely a sash.
Displaying her flair,
While practically bare,
She showed off her ass with panache.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Bob Dvorak, Johanna Richmond, Scott Crowder, Craig Dykstra, Nan Reiner (a/k/a Kitty Ditty), and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Bob Dvorak:
A man who was known for his flash-
In-the-pan antics tried something brash —
Braising food in his shed.
It caught fire; he fled.
So what’s left? Just a pane in the ash.
Johanna Richmond:
A madam well known for her flash
Cut her price to a dollar per lash,
But it flopped – business waned:
Masochistics complained –
How’s a prick to feel pain with that slash?
Scott Crowder:
A gal who was known for her flash,
With Paul was a rock and roll smash.
She no longer sings,
She has other Wings,
And Heather Mills has all the cash.
Craig Dykstra:
On her webcam, her boobs she would flash
And her viewers would tip her with cash
But her cam worked the best
Pointed just at her chest
And away from her bushy mustache.
Nan Reiner (a/k/a Kitty Ditty):
A gal who was known for her flash
Pulled a stunt that was bound to abash.
“’Twas a wardrobe malfunction,”
She cooed with some unction,
Then winked as she raked in the cash.
Tim James:
A man who was known for his flash
Chose a park for his disrobe-and-dash.
But he tripped and he stumbled,
In poison oak tumbled.
The result, like his action, was rash.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Craig Dykstra, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mark Kane, Nan Reiner, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Scott Crowder, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Sunday, July 29th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow who fell on his face
Would have undergone far less disgrace
‘Midst commuter-rush throng,
If his garter and thong
Hadn’t spilled from his attaché case.
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
The graduate shielded his face
From the couple’s impassioned embrace.
As they sweated and thrusted
He said, quite disgusted,
“You win, Mom – I’ll get my own place.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Bob Dvorak, Jamie Hutchinson, Edmund Conti, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, and Kathy El-Assal. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Bob Dvorak:
A woman once fell on her face
Getting dressed for the party apace.
Her troubles began
With a spritz from a can;
Not cologne, but emergency mace.
Jamie Hutchinson:
A camper who fell on his face
When a bear from his privy gave chase
Had two cheeks in the ground
And two—white and round—
Facing up at the stars out in space.
Edmund Conti:
A woman who fell on her face
Was too drunk to acknowledge disgrace.
“What’s a lady to do”
She asked of the crew
“To get her a drink in this place.”
Phyllis Sterling Smith a//k/a Granny Smith:
A model who fell on her face,
From a swing, was too angry for grace.
“Damn that Fragonard guy!
Well, he swung me too high
Just so HE could paint more bits of lace!”
Kathy El-Assal:
While flirting he fell on his face,
Using slapstick to pick up the pace.
The view from down under
Showed booty to plunder:
No thong! Just a black hole in space.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Craig Dykstra, Edmund Conti, Jamie Hutchinson, Johanna Richmond, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, July 22nd, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Daniel Ari who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A hooker was starting to rue
What she said to her John she would do.
“His kink’s not exciting.
He has me reciting
The writings of Albert Camus.”
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A limericist started to rue
His endeavors the past week or two.
All that clever invention
Got nary a mention.
(Perhaps I should switch to haiku.)
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sally Franz, Johanna Richmond, Bob Dvorak, Mike Dailey, Scott Crowder, Patrick McKeon, and Craig Dykstra. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Sally Franz:
A woman was starting to rue
All the pounds she had gathered anew.
Seems she’d taken a cruise,
Grazed on chocolate and booze.
Now her scale read: one please, and not two.
Johanna Richmond:
Too many have gone on to rue
Delaying a trip to the loo.
Hear this, one and all:
When the urge comes to call
Piddle not; ‘taint a thing to poo poo!
Bob Dvorak:
A woman was starting to rue
That she’d told Bill the Builder, “I do.”
She found that male dolts
Comprehend nuts and bolts
But they don’t understand “gentle screw”.
Mike Dailey:
A critic was starting to rue
The play he was there to review.
The actors were nudist,
The language the crudest,
And his grandmother starred in it too.
Scott Crowder:
A fellow was starting to rue
His claims climate change is not true.
Now he feels like a jerk,
As he paddles to work
On what used to be I-92.
Patrick McKeon:
A woman was starting to rue
The shine that she put on her shoe.
With her skirt on in town
All the men would look down,
Enjoying the excellent view.
Craig Dykstra:
Un soir as I walked down la rue
A chat noir et blanc came in view.
I knelt down to pet it,
But soon I’d regret it.
Le chat? It was Pepé Le Pew!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Craig Dykstra, Daniel Ari, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mike Dailey, Patrick McKeon, Sally Franz, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »
Sunday, July 15th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A parrot was proud of his skill.
He could learn any words you would drill.
But a problem occurred
When the man heard the bird
Say, “Come over when he’s at the mill.”
Congratulations to Robert Basler who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow was proud of his skill
At signing his name with a quill.
Said his friend, Paul Revere,
“Put your John Hancock here!
“Make it large, we’ve got pages to fill!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) VerseBender, Edmund Conti, Bryan Coughlan, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Versebender:
A fellow was proud of his skill
Making moonshine inside of his still.
But his profits were few
In spite of his brew
‘Cause he’d swill every drop he’d distill.
Edmund Conti:
A fellow was proud of his skill
At giving his good wife a thrill.
Said she of his mountin’,
“I fear that your Fountain
Of Youth has gone over the hill.”
Bryan Coughlan:
A lawyer was proud of his skill,
Charged one pound of flesh for his bill.
That’s not just a saying.
His clients were paying.
So where there’s a weigh, there’s a will.
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow was proud of his skill
With the help of a little blue pill,
Till his paramour mumbled
A mouthful that humbled:
“It fills but the thrills, Will, are nil.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bryan Coughlan, Edmund Conti, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Basler, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Saturday, July 7th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A moody young deb with a ‘tude
Found regattas could lighten her mood:
“Strokes and coxswains galore –
Each will put in his oar –
One can be so deliciously crewed!”
Congratulations to Kathy El-Assal who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A prudish young woman with ‘tude
Almost never was in the right mood.
Finding headaches passé
Her excuse was to say
“Doggie-style, when not yoga, is lewd.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jamie Hutchinson, Marla Turner, VerseBender, Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty, Edmund Conti, Jason Talbott, and Jane Auerbach. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jamie Hutchinson:
The sexy librarian’s ‘tude
Had a way of improving your mood:
You’d hand her a book
And receive such a look
That you felt both checked out and renewed.
Marla Turner a/k/a Uhave2laff:
A moody young woman with ‘tude
Had a curfew she really eschewed.
Her mother said, “Ten!”
She laughed and said, “Men?”
Then sat back as her mom came unglued.
Versebender:
A moody young woman with ‘tude
Would string along dude after dude.
She’d flirt and she’d tease
As if eager to please.
But the lady stayed coyly unscrewed.
Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty:
A moody young woman with ‘tude,
In line for the john, ballyhooed,
“Yo there, bride and your groom:
Get yourselves a real room.
There are others who want to be loo’d.”
Edmund Conti:
An earnest young poet with ‘tude
Said, I know I’m about to be screwed
For posting so late
On Madeleine’s slate.
My poem won’t be liked or be viewed.
Jason Talbott:
A moody young fellow with ‘tude
Once complained that he hated the food
Which was served at his school.
But the lunch lady’s rule:
You complain, you’ll be one hungry dude.
Jane Auerbach:
A moody male model with ‘tude
Was chagrined when the audience booed.
On a catwalk he’d tripped,
And his pants front had ripped,
Shredding padding on parts best unviewed.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Edmund Conti, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Auerbach, Jason Talbott, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Marla Turner, Nan Reiner, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 4 Comments »
Sunday, July 1st, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman was putting on airs
At society ballroom affairs:
“I’m seeing a gent
From the point-one percent;
It’s beneath me to date millionaires.”
Congratulations to Bob Dvorak who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was putting on airs
And padding her modest upstairs.
The guy on her date
Found this all out too late.
‘Twas a package of buyer B-wares.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Chris Doyle, Jason Talbott, Craig Dykstra, Patrick McKeon, Johanna Richmond, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty, and Jamie Hutchinson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Chris Doyle:
An attorney was putting on airs
To impress his new right-wing confrères:
“Screw the ACLU!
I’m preparing to sue
In high court for my right to arm bears!”
Jason Talbott:
A fellow was putting on airs
As a master of plumbing repairs,
But his ego was crushed
When the toilet was flushed
And the payload still flowed down the stairs.
Craig Dykstra:
A pro bowler was putting on airs:
“I love women – alone or in pairs.
When I see one I like
I can score with one strike,
And I’m quite good at picking up spares.”
Patrick McKeon:
A woman was putting on airs
As she slowly ascended the stairs
But her cover was blown
When the glass floor had shown
That the dress is quite all that she wears.
Johanna Richmond:
Jan Brewer is putting on airs.
It’s a win for the states, she declares!
The republican style
(Ignore facts with a smile)
Suits this queen of right-wing derrieres.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A hunter was putting on airs.
He’d shot moose and he’d wrestled with bears.
Then a tiny grey mouse
Appeared in his house
And he fled to the top of the stairs.
Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty
A fellow was putting on Airs,
But his wife flashed disparaging stares.
“Get the shoes if you like,
But you won’t play like Mike
Even if you buy fifty-nine pairs!”
Jamie Hutchinson:
Viagra is putting on airs
With old couples who dash up the stairs.
Why, the ladies, you’d think
Had grown a new pink
And the gents had developed new pairs!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Chris Doyle, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Nan Reiner, Patrick McKeon, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, June 24th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SisterAE who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man who was never in doubt
Left his wife with a permanent pout.
Every secret he’d share,
And cute tips (like you care!)
On the things he knew nothing about.
Congratulations to Scott Crowder who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A man who is never in doubt,
Is a man we can all live without
Because he’ll refuse
To see other views,
And learn what real life is about.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kathy El-Assal, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Patrick McKeon, VerseBender, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, and Linda Fuller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kathy El-Assal:
When young she was never in doubt
About getting a surgical pout.
Now with lips like a fish
This actress’s wish
Is not to resemble a trout.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy was once never in doubt
That he just wasn’t really that stout,
Till he could not dislodge
Himself from his Dodge.
Triple A had to come pry him out.
Patrick McKeon:
A man who was never in doubt
Would pound on his bible and shout:
“If the Lord walked today
He would punish the gay.”
Then his elderly mother came out.
Versebender:
A man who was never in doubt
As to what this old world is about
Said, “Listen, my son
To Rule Number One:
Only money provides you with clout.”
David McCormick:
A Lim’ricker, never in doubt
That this week, his verse would win out,
Reached the end of line 3
BUT THEN ACCIDENT’LY
HIT CAPS LOCK AND WAS TOLD NOT TO SHOUT.
Linda Fuller:
A man who was tortured by doubt
Joined a cult and became quite devout.
He gave them his money,
Ate raw eggs with honey
And worshipped a virginal trout.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: David McCormick, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, SisterAE, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Saturday, June 16th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jason Talbott who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man who is very astute
Knows that sometimes it’s best to stay mute.
If your girl asks on chat,
“Do you think that I’m fat?”
Just pretend that you have to reboot.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A man who was very astute
Had dress stores that made lots of loot.
The women would flock
To buy a new frock,
For his clerks were well hung and quite cute.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Patrick McKeon, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Scott Crowder, Jamie Hutchinson, Johanna Richmond, and VerseBender. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Patrick McKeon:
A man who was very astute
At a concert for lute and for flute,
Knew the show would be bad
And the audience mad,
So he brought a large crate with bad fruit.
Veralynne Bosko Pepper:
A girl who was very astute
Was also alarmingly cute.
She’d use men for their money
By promising honey–
When promise time came she would scoot!
Scott Crowder:
A gal who was very astute
Received very little repute.
And because of her dress,
She is doomed to earn less
Than a swinging dick wearing a suit.
Jamie Hutchinson:
The trombonist was very astute,
Placed behind the young belle who played flute:
He worked his big slide
Without letting it ride
And “protected” the girl with a mute.
Johanna Richmond:
A gal who was hardly astute
But knew how to wink and look cute
Morphed from sweet Miss Wasilla
To Fox News Attila;
We all wish she’d stuck to the flute.
Versebender:
A man who was very astute
Found his checkbook just did not compute.
So he said to his wife,
“I can’t for my life
Figure what you have done with our loot.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McKeon, Scott Crowder, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 9 Comments »
Sunday, June 10th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Daniel Ari who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A congressman shooting the breeze
With an intern said, “Look at this sleaze!
The press keeps on beating
My colleague for cheating —
Perhaps you should get off your knees.”
Congratulations to Bruce Niedt who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was shooting the breeze
With the man on the flying trapeze,
But her chat with her friend
Had a very sad end —
You can’t text while you hang from your knees.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Richard Schear, Jason Talbott, Linda Fuller, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Richard Schear:
A fellow was shooting the breeze
With talk of the birds and the bees.
His wife overheard,
But said not a word,
For she knew he had no expertise!
Jason Talbott:
A woman was shooting the breeze,
Speaking French with her man overseas,
Never once disagreeing,
The main reason being:
Her boyfriend speaks only Chinese.
Linda Fuller:
A fellow was shooting the breeze
With a winsome young thing named Louise,
Whose looks were deceiving.
The chap yelled while leaving,
“You win some, I lose some, you tease!”
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow was shooting the breeze,
But he missed and shot down sev’ral trees.
Friends asked, “Man, are you blind
Or just out of your mind?”
He yelled, “Y’all heard me tell it to freeze!”
Colleen Murphy:
A woman was shooting the breeze,
Discussing the habits of bees.
“Imagine the scene
Where I could be queen
And bring all the men to their knees!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Daniel Ari, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Jason Talbott, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Richard Schear, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, June 3rd, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow came forth to be wed
By a judge before whom he had pled
So often that now,
When asked for his vow,
By habit “Not guilty!” he said.
Congratulations to John Peter Larkin who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was planning to wed
And visions of bliss filled her head.
But it all came to naught
When her lover was caught
With the wife he’d neglected to shed.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Richard Schear, Linda Fuller, Elaine Spall, Johanna Richmond, and Robert Schechter. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow was planning to wed
Till he found out they’d both been misled.
She said she was Doris.
Turned out she was Horace.
And he was an Alice, not Fred!
Richard Schear:
A fellow was planning to wed
A girl who was all in his head.
He thought, “No big deal
If she is unreal.
At least she won’t nag me in bed.”
Linda Fuller:
A woman was nervous to wed
A man with a nose cherry red.
Was it booze? Inflammation?
A freaky mutation?
Or should he be pulling a sled?
Elaine Spall:
A fellow was planning to wed
And pleased when his fiance said,
“I don’t think I can swap.
I just must be on top.”
Then he found out she bought a bunk bed.
Johanna Richmond:
Mister Romney will now try to wed
Mainstream views to extreme things he’s said,
But Ayn Randian mean
Is a bitch to scrub clean;
Ain’t no hosing that tea from his bed.
Robert Schechter:
A woman was planning to wed
A man who was thoroughly dead.
“The long and the short is
I love rigor mortis,”
She winked. “It’s so useful in bed.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Elaine Spall, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, John Peter Larkin, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Richard Schear, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 10 Comments »
Sunday, May 27th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Robert Schechter who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A virgin who tried to persuade
His friend that last night he’d been laid
Answered this when his chum
Asked him, “Well, did she come?”:
“Of course she did! What’s more, she stayed!”
Congratulations to Jason Talbott who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow who tried to persuade
Me to guess at how much his wife weighed
Didn’t mention that she
Was right there behind me.
I got smacked. Guessed too high, I’m afraid.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jim Delaney, Mary Rosenthal Mansfield a/k/a Write Wing Conspiracy, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Craig Dykstra, Scott Crowder, and Bruce Niedt. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jim Delaney:
A fellow once tried to persuade
His wife that his train was delayed,
But his place on the map
(From his GPS app)
Gave the lie to his shabby charade.
Mary Mansfield:
A fellow had tried to persuade
His girlfriend to let him get laid,
But his kinky sex game
She found totally lame,
Now his ecstasy must be hand-made.
Phyllis Sterling Smith, a/k/a Granny Smith:
A woman who tried to persuade
Bill collectors that bills had been paid
Sailed off on a cruise
Where they found out her ruse
So de-shipped her and left her to wade.
Craig Dykstra:
The drill sergeant tried to persuade
His young private that haste should be made.
“I don’t mean to shout,
But I need to point out
That’s the pin you threw, not the grenade!”
Scott Crowder:
A fellow who tried to persuade
His wife to lie back while he played,
Like a pirate and plunder,
Her treasures down under,
Was stopped by a Navel blockade.
Bruce Niedt:
Two fellows once tried to persuade
Their dates they were both macho-grade.
But the gals looked and sniggered
‘Cos they had them figgered –
One swaggered, the other sashayed.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Craig Dykstra, Jason Talbott, Jim Delaney, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Mary Mansfield, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Robert Schechter, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Saturday, May 19th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Jane Shelton Hoffman who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gal in an overpriced store
Got stopped as she walked out the door.
“What alerted you, sir?”
“Well, you’re wearing a fur,
And it’s 98 out, if not more.”
Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
The Prez bought an overpriced store
Of supplies for the Middle East war.
The dealers were sharks,
The bombs missed their marks,
And the Congress declared, “Buy some more!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Elizabeth Civinskas a/k/a Mrs.Smeej, Johanna Richmond, Bruce Niedt, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Daniel Ari, and Colleen Murphy. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Elizabeth Civinskas:
A gal in an overpriced store
Said, shocked to the depths of her core:
“With prices so high
“There should be a guy
“To carry me in from the door.”
Johanna Richmond:
A man in an overpriced store
Embarrassed his wife to the core:
While the one percent stared,
Indiscreetly he aired,
“JC Penney’s got dresses galore!”
Bruce Niedt:
A gal in an overpriced store
Found herself a nice Christian Dior,
But they thought her a lout,
And said, kicking her out,
“You pronounce it cou-TURE, not cou-TOR!”
Veralynne Bosko Pepper:
A gal in an overpriced store
Tried a dress on so tight that it tore.
Embarrassed to death
She started on meth,
And pounds! Well, she lost ‘em galore!
Daniel Ari:
A man in an overpriced store
Said, “Show me some more, I implore.
This past Mother’s Day
I forgot. Now I’ll pay
Restitution by Christian Dior.”
Colleen Murphy:
A gal in an overpriced store
Somehow slipped on a spot on the floor.
Her lawyer she dialed;
A lawsuit he filed,
Which led to an overpriced score.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Colleen Murphy, Daniel Ari, Elizabeth Civinskas, Jamie Hutchinson, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Veralynne Bosko Pepper, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 14 Comments »
Saturday, May 12th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Craig Dyskstra who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Met a blonde in a bar with a tan;
As we danced, she purred “I’m Maryanne.”
But the bar’s in Key West
So the rest you’ll have guessed:
That my tan Maryanne was a man.
And further congratulations go to Craig Dykstra who also wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award, but for a different limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
My freckle-faced girl can’t get tan,
So she sits in the shade with a fan.
She finally learned
That she’d only get burned.
She’s a ginger, she’s not Mary Ann.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Elaine Spall, John Peter Larkin, Linda Fuller, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Robert Schechter, and Patrick McKeon. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Elaine Spall:
A guy with a very deep tan
Caught his tie on a new celing fan.
Such a costly mistake:
‘Cause his colour was fake
He spray painted the walls as he span.
John Peter Larkin:
A guy with a very deep tan
Tried out to be Marlboro’s man.
But, because of his cough,
His name was crossed off,
And that was the end of his plan.
Linda Fuller:
A gal with a very deep tan
Ate nothing but oatmeal and bran.
She tie-died her clothing
And felt a strong loathing
For food that came out of a can.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy with a very dark tan
Had left his four wives in Iran.
To be very specific,
They’d been too prolific
And he couldn’t afford a big van.
Robert Schechter:
A gal with a very deep tan
Encountered a dirty old man,
So brash and obscene he
Asked, “‘Does your bikini
Hide bronze, or a lily white can?”
Patrick McKeon:
A gal with a very deep tan
Had a different last testament plan.
Since her skin just like leather
Would hold out all weather,
It was left to a tent making man.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Craig Dykstra, Elaine Spall, Jane Shelton Hoffman, John Peter Larkin, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Patrick McKeon, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Sunday, May 6th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Daniel Ari who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man had a notable knack
For catching fly balls in his crack.
Though poor with his hands,
He made many fans
In center field, facing the back.
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
As your parents, we know of your knack
For strange fashion and cut you some slack.
But this has to stop.
You’ve gone over the top,
And your mom wants her underwear back.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Cara Holman, Jim Delaney, Johanna Richmond, Les a/k/a Colonialist, Kathy El-Assal, and Linda Fuller. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Cara Holman:
A gal had a notable knack
For putting her back out of whack.
So she took up Tai Chi
And now she’s pain-free
And hears nary a crack from her back.
Jim Delaney:
A man had a notable knack
For making his knuckle-joints crack,
Till he popped (for more thrills)
Nitroglycerine pills.
You can tell where he lived: there’s a plaque.
Johanna Richmond:
Said the man with a notable knack
For keeping his marriage on track,
“I keep things legato
With one simple motto:
Divides can be licked in the sack.”
Les a/k/a Colonialist:
A gal had a notable knack
For earning her cash on her back,
But please do not panic –
She was a mechanic,
And it was not done in the sack.
Kathy El-Assal:
The Koch brothers have quite a knack
For taking America back
To a previous time
When to vote was a crime
If you were a woman or black.
Linda Fuller:
A gal had a notable knack
For drawing men’s eyes to her rack.
But when she desired
To be less admired
She just up and let ‘em go slack.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Cara Holman, Colonialist, Craig Dykstra, Daniel Ari, Jim Delaney, Johanna Richmond, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 8 Comments »
Sunday, April 29th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A woman was off on a quest
To give her poor backbone a rest.
Got her 36-Es
Sculpted into pert Cs
And said, “Glad I got THAT off my chest.”
Further congratulations are in order to Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty who also wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for very same limerick which received the most Facebook “likes. (This is the first time the same person won both awards.)
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) J Cosmo Newbery, Robert Basler, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, VerseBender, Scott Crowder, Craig Dykstra, and Kathy El-Assal. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
J Cosmo Newbery:
A fellow was off on a quest
To find a young lady, undressed.
As his opening line
Was “Your place or mine?”
The ladies were far from impressed.
Robert Basler:
A fellow was off on a quest,
For the best food in all Budapest.
His wife said, “Eureka!
“Such tasty paprika!”
Her husband said, “Shirley, you jest.”
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A woman was off on a quest
To protect every thing she possessed.
Should she put it in stock?
In a safe with a lock?
Or would under her mattress be best?
Versebender:
A fellow was off on a quest
To give his libido a test.
So he took on a bunch
Of ladies who lunch,
But all he wants now is some rest.
Scott Crowder:
A woman was off on a quest,
To put office rumors to rest.
“I was showing the Boss,
The right way to floss,
And that stuff on my lips was just Crest.”
Craig Dykstra:
A big-breasted gal had a quest:
To, in lieu of a bra, wear a vest.
But the cargo unloaded
As buttons exploded,
Surprising her dinner date guest.
Kathy El-Assal:
A fellow was off on a quest
To put climbing skills to the test.
He mounted his bride
And went for a ride,
Then said, “I’ve just peaked, now I’ll rest.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Craig Dykstra, J Cosmo Newbery, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Nan Reiner, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Robert Basler, Scott Crowder, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest | 7 Comments »
Sunday, April 22nd, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Colleen Murphy who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A man was recounting his woes
After leaving his gal in the throes.
“If I’d known,” he did sob,
“She was part of the mob,
I’d still have ten fingers and toes.”
Congratulations to Craig Dykstra who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
Bambi told Thumper his woes
When he found out his sisters were ho’s.
“They confirm they’re not queer
When the bucks all stop here –-
They’ll do dese, but they will not do does.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, VerseBender, Ira Bloom, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, and John Sardo. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A gal was recounting her woes
As she dressed in her old running clothes,
“Now my races are short
I am sad to report
But there IS a long run in my hose!”
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A man was recounting his woes
Of nights with Colombian hoes:
“In old Cartagena,
The hookers are plainer
Than agents were led to suppose.”
Versebender:
A man was recounting his woes
As pushing his mower, he mows.
Then he tripped on a root
And ran over his boot.
So now he’s recounting his toes.
Ira Bloom:
A man was recounting his woes,
As he guzzled expensive Bordeaux:
“On my capital gains,
Taxes caused me such pains,
That this year I can’t buy more van Goghs.”
David McCormick:
The Queen was recounting her woes;
“One’s 23rd time in Tussaud’s!
And each time they’ve sculpted
More wrinkles!” she gulped, “It
Quite makes one reluctant to pose.”
John Sardo:
A gal was recounting her woes
She invested in stock that soon froze.
It soared with the bubble,
Then crumbled to rubble.
So that’s how the market wind blows.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Colleen Murphy, Craig Dykstra, David Lefkovits, David McCormick, Ira Bloom, John Sardo, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Sunday, April 15th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Johanna Richmond who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow was starting to snap
His fingers and point to his lap,
When his wife snarled, “You lech,
If you want me to fetch
Like a dog, give me more than that scrap!”
Congratulations to Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A fellow was taking a snap
Of a lady who’d had a mishap.
Something really quite drastic
Had snapped her elastic!
No wonder his face got a slap!
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Robert Basler, Scott Crowder, David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Elaine Spall. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A fellow was trying to snap
The brim of his stylish golf cap.
When a gust made it fly,
“Oh, I’m glad,” said the guy,
“That the cap and not me hit the trap,”
Robert Basler:
A fellow was starting to snap.
He did not want to get a bad rap.
He was racking his brain!
Would Madeleine Kane
Allow him to use the word crap?
Scott Crowder:
A woman was starting to snap:
The corkscrew was working like crap.
Then hubby came in,
And said with a grin,
“Honey, just twist off the cap.”
David McCormick:
A dachshund was starting to snap
At the cheese in a loaded mousetrap,
When the spring went ‘KAPOW!’
And that, friends, is how
The pug first appeared on the map!
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A woman was starting to snap.
Her boss had his hand in her lap.
As his fingers progressed
She felt really hard-pressed
To play ball or get sacked by this chap.
Elaine Spall:
A woman was starting to snap
‘Cause she just could not undo the strap:
“Sure, it gives a nice shape
But my ‘girls’ can’t escape.
This new bra, should be called ‘Booby Trap'”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brenda Bryant, David McCormick, Elaine Spall, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Robert Basler, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Sunday, April 8th, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Colleen Murphy who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A mother was trying to show
All her kids what it takes to make dough.
When the bread was all baked
The youngest one quaked,
“Oh where did my baby tooth go?”
Congratulations to David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A woman was trying to show
The podiatrist her little toe;
“Could I ask,” the nurse said,
“If you’d stand on your head?
He once was a dentist, you know.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Elaine Spall, Robert Schechter, Johanna Richmond, Neal Pattison, Edmund Conti, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Elaine Spall:
A small woman was trying to show
She had sizeable assets, and so
Every night, before rest
She applied to her chest
Several packets of Miracle Gro.
Robert Schechter:
A Buddhist was trying to show
He could chill out and go with the flow;
He could empty his brain
Of depression and pain;
But he freaked when I stepped on his toe.
Johanna Richmond:
To the fellow who’s trying to show
He’s “Mensa,” not any Joe Blow,
Let me give him a clue:
If you’re stuck on IQ,
You’re a member more ways than you know.
Neal Pattison:
A mom who was trying to show
Her kid how to bat, catch and throw,
Adjusted his stance
And cried, “Hike up your pants!
Now wiggle your bum to and fro.”
Edmund Conti:
A fellow was trying to show
How to eat only one Cheerio.
And when he was done
I said, “That isn’t one.
It’s zero, my friend. Tally O.”
David Lefkovits:
A fellow was trying to show
His daughter the right way to mow;
He’d point, as he showed ‘er,
By kicking the rotor,
But now he’s got only one toe.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Colleen Murphy, David Lefkovits, David McCormick, Edmund Conti, Elaine Spall, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Neal Pattison, Robert Schechter, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Sunday, April 1st, 2012
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Nan Reiner a/k/a Kitty Ditty who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A gal who was very uptight
Found her Chinaman mate no delight,
But she relished the sin
When his brother joined in,
Shrieking gaily, “Two Wongs make it right!”
Congratulations to Robert Basler who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”
A gal who is very uptight
Won’t take off her clothes when it’s light.
The chick only strips
In a solar eclipse,
Or perhaps in a blackout, she might.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Robert Schechter, Rosemary Nissen-Wade, and Edmund Conti. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Robert Schechter:
A poet named Frost was uptight.
A fork in the road was his plight.
“If I choose to go left
It might leave me bereft.
But then again, left may be right.”
Rosemary Nissen-Wade:
A gal who was very uptight
Gave her boyfriend a hell of a fright.
She lay there so rigid,
He thought, “Is she frigid —
Or perhaps she has died in the night?”
Edmund Conti:
A Brit who was very uptight
Found the islands laid back, a delight.
On the Island of Man
You may do what you can.
But, wait a sec, that isn’t Wight!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Edmund Conti, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Nan Reiner, Robert Basler, Robert Schechter, Rosemary Nissen-Wade, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 8 Comments »
