Archive for the ‘Limerick Competition’ Category
Saturday, April 1st, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using JUST or UNJUST or ADJUST at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COURTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COURT-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
PLANT, HOBBIES, LEARN, LIKEABLE, WARN.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 30, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 29, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my JUST or UNJUST or ADJUST-Rhyme Limerick:
“Adulting” requires hard work;
The mundane kind we’re tempted to shirk.
But do it, we must!
So I try to adjust
And pretend I don’t feel like a clerk.
And here’s my COURT-Themed Limerick, a 2-Verser:
A big gun at a law firm brought suit.
He was gunning for those who pollute.
But his target, alas,
Had a limitless mass
Of moolah to fight the dispute.
That’s not all that his target possessed;
It had friends in the courts and was blessed
With political cronies,
Republican phonies
Who impeded his actions with zest.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
I should take up some hobby this week
To ensure my brain works at its peak.
Learning Greek is too hard!
Planting chard in my yard?
No, my marred mind needs more than a tweak.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Adulting, Brain Humor, Brain Limerick, Competition Limerick, Gardening Humor, Hobby Humor, Hobby Limerick, Law Humor, Lawyer Humor, Lawyer Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Litigation Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 125 Comments »
Saturday, March 4th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SCENE or SEEN or OBSCENE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to WHEELS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best WHEEL-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
MEAL, FAN, WATCH, BUSINESS, SLEEP
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 2, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 1, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SCENE or SEEN or OBSCENE-Rhyme Limerick:
A young fellow, no more than nineteen,
Would steal golf carts and often be seen
Careening around
On his campus. He’d found
A trump card: His dad was the Dean.
And here’s my WHEELS-Themed Limerick:
When I ask for the wheel, you refuse me.
“Backseat driver,” you say? Don’t accuse me!
I’m in front, so your claim
Is abusive and lame.
It’s so foolish, you almost amuse me.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
Ever been to a bus’ness lunch? Yuk!
You’ve one scheduled? You’re stuck? Well, good luck!
I’m no fan of such meals,
Where you’re s’pposed to make deals,
Watch your manners, and NEVER say “Fuck!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Business Humor, Business Limerick, Competition Limerick, Dining Humor, Driving Humor, Driving Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Golf Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Poetry Prompt, Theft Humor, Theft Limerick, Wheels Humor, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Business Humor, Car & Driving Humor, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 148 Comments »
Saturday, February 4th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using NET at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CLASS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CLASS-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
POLICE, LONG, PUSHY, ELITE, MATCH.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 5, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 4, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my NET-Rhyme Limerick:
Though you claim that you’re sorry, it’s clear
That you’re saying it just out of fear,
And you’re hoping to net
Some forgiveness. Bad bet!
You are poor at appearing sincere.
And here’s my CLASS-Themed Limerick:
If you’re totally lacking in class
And you always behave like an ass,
Then kindly don’t whine
And call someone a swine
Who’s responded in kind with some sass.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
A pushy young fellow named Pete
Had a longing to join the elite.
He was far from a saint,
And showed little restraint,
So Peter’s now under concrete.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Apology Limerick, Class Humor, Class Limerick, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Sincerity, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 141 Comments »
Saturday, February 4th, 2023
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:
A stripper whose outlook was screwed,
With her crowds got increasingly rude.
So she took some time off.
(Not a thread did she doff.)
Then returned to work, fresh and re-nude.
Congratulations to SHARON NEEMAN, who wins the DESTRUCTION-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:
One cat, with just four little paws
And some teeth in her two tiny jaws,
Pushed three plates off the table,
Ate all she was able,
And puked on the rest. Why? Because.
Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: STRIDE, HANDY, PUNISH, FLY, BAIL.
To keep this year’s diet on track,
I’ve developed a three-step attack;
Not a punishing stride,
but a nice, easy slide–
One step forward, another two back.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Terry Marter, Lisi Nortman, Rudy Landesman, Tim James, Doug Harris, Don Lazarre, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Dave Johnson, Mark Totterdell, Jean McEwen, and Brian Allgar. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
HONORABLE MENTIONS (RUDE, RUED or ROOD-RHYME DIVISION)
Terry Marter:
A starving philosopher rued
That day when he busked in the nude.
Naked truth in the street
Didn’t help make ends meet,
But it DID give him more thought for food.
Lisi Nortman:
As a carpenter, I could tell tales
Of all of my sweat and travails.
Standing here, at the rood,
I’m beginning to brood,
Cause they’re using the wrong kind of nails.
Terry Marter:
When the Haiku police came, I rued
The day that I wrote one ’bout food:
The subject was Thyme,
But I’d slipped in a rhyme.
I must now eat my words or be sued.
Rudy Landesman:
From Russia, that much troubled nation,
There’s news that has caused a sensation.
When folks there allude
To Putin as rude,
They’re subject to defenestration.
Tim James:
While in England, and looking for food,
I sought help from a whimsical dude.
He said, “Eighty roods down,
Take a left into town.”
Thanks a lot. What the hell is a rood?
Doug Harris:
The media hypers are glued
To Prince Harry’s pulp fiction and feud.
It’s a sorry affair
That he feels like a Spare,
But to blame his old dad is just rude!
Don Lazarre:
To Santa, she wrote “I ask you:
‘When sleeping, you SEE us. That true?
If you do, that is rude
Cuz I sleep in the nude!
And ain’t THAT worth a present or two?’”
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
There once was a lamplighter dude,
Whose career choice was one that he rued.
His one true desire?
To be the town crier;
So he stood in the street and boo-hooed.
Dave Johnson:
Some kind of morality nut
Described it as “vertical smut.”
Though seemingly lewd,
It’s not meant to be rude;
Cuz twerking is anything butt.
Mark Totterdell:
I hope that, with skill and with luck,
This rhyme won’t descend into muck
With a word that is crude
And offensive and rude
At the end of the fifth line. Oh f**k!
HONORABLE MENTIONS (DESTRUCTION-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION)
Rudy Landesman:
At the altar of Mammon he kneeled
And prayed for some bonds with high yield.
In this God he did trust,
But the market went bust;
And no longer is he so well-heeled.
Jean McEwen:
Matt Goetz has set out to destroy
Civil order; he’ll use any ploy
To help burn down the House.
He’s a certified louse,
With disdain for the mass hoi polloi.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
I asked a Republican pundit:
“Our Democracy, sir, have you shunned it?”
“We’ve destroyed it,” he said,
“But it isn’t quite dead,
So we’re passing a bill to defund it.”
Tim James:
The crew of a starship took stock
Of the Earth. They regarded in shock
War, destruction, and hate.
Their report home will state:
“No intelligent life on this rock.”
Dave Johnson:
His brainchild was nervy and brash;
Investing in digital cash.
While some made a buck,
Many others were stuck;
Invited to join in the crash.
Rudy Landesman:
A concern in the bedroom was key
In destroying my marriage for me.
She left me one day.
So, what’s there to say?
My dildo was cursed with E.D.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICK DIVISION – STRIDE, HANDY, PUNISH, FLY, BAIL)
Lisi Nortman:
The masochist “I Love Pain” Flo
Begged “Punish me, dear darling, Joe.”
In a very swift stride
“Sadist Joe” went outside.
(Before closing the door, he said, “No!”)
Jean McEwen:
Denied bail, Stu was fit to be tied,
Refusing to take it in stride,
As the price to be paid
When one murders the maid
And then boils and ingests her raw hide.
Brian Allgar:
I decided to punish the fly.
“You’ve annoyed me too long, you must die!”
I attempted to swat it,
And thought I had got it –
Instead, it flew into my eye.
Lisi Nortman:
I hired your handyman Phil.
He walked in, but it wasn’t a thrill,
Cuz he opened his fly,
And I said, with a sigh,
“That does NOT take the place of a drill.”
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
“I would send a nice letter — oh, fie!”
Charlotte scrawled, “But no paper have I.
It was handy last year,
But I’ve lost it, I fear.
So I’m writing to you on the fly.”
Tim James:
“I know art, lit, and science,” said I.
“I’m a suave, cultured Renaissance guy.”
Said my date, “Epic fail!
One last thing, then I’ll bail:
Leonardo, please zip up your fly.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Don Lazarre, Doug Harris, Jean McEwen, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Lisi Nortman, Mark Totterdell, Rudy Landesman, Sharon Neeman, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Terry Marter, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry Contest | 3 Comments »
Saturday, January 7th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RUDE, RUED or ROOD at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DESTRUCTION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DESTRUCTION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: STRIDE, HANDY, PUNISH, FLY, BAIL.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 5, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 4, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my RUDE, RUED or ROOD-Rhyme Limerick:
I am stunned by the way you behave.
It appears you were raised in a cave.
You’ve a terrible tude
And you’re crude, lewd, and rude.
So there’s only one word for you: KNAVE!
And here’s my DESTRUCTION-Themed Limerick:
Here’s a factoid not everyone knows:
Perfectionist Brahms alas chose
To destroy some great stuff
He thought NOT up to snuff.
How I wish that he di’n’t decompose!
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
I tried to play “stride,” but I failed.
My small hands lacked the reach, so I bailed.
But I still remain sold
On stride pianists of old,
Whose fingers would fly, as they wailed.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brahms Humor, Brahms Limerick, Competition Limerick, Composer Humor, Composer Limerick, Composers, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Music, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Pianist Humor, Pianist Limerick, Piano Humor, Piano Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Rudeness Humor, Rudeness Limerick, Stride Pianist, Stride Piano, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 173 Comments »
Saturday, January 7th, 2023
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to Tim James, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for his funny two-verser:
A limerick writer was blue
’Cause the rhyme word was “blew,” and he knew
That his muse (nasty slut!)
Would produce only smut.
So he caved. What’s an artist to do?
The result:
A couple who drove through St. Lou
Got excited and tried something new.
They went into a roll
When he lost all control;
But it wasn’t a Goodyear that blew.
Congratulations to ROBERT SCHECHTER, who wins the RELIGION-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:
“Commandments to get into heaven?”
Said Moses, “Let’s keep it to seven.”
But God said, “No way!
There are ten, and they’ll stay!
You’re lucky there aren’t eleven!”
Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: NAME, NAUSEOUS, PROFIT, TEASE, SILVER.
Eyes half-glazed, up I gazed at a soffit,
When some “crawly” (unnamed) fell right off it.
It dropped onto my iris,
An act undesirous,
From which none but my eye doc will profit.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Terry Marter, Sharon Neeman, Lisi Nortman, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Keone Morienga, Mark Totterdell, Gennadiy Gurariy, Gail White, Robert Schechter, Edmund Conti, Tim James, Fred Bortz, Steve Benko, Rudy Landesman, Ken Gosse, and Jon Gearhart. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
HONORABLE MENTIONS (BLUE or BLEW-RHYME DIVISION)
Terry Marter:
Like a bat out of hell, my car flew,
Drifting hard ’round the bends; back-end slew.
Now I always must walk,
So I just talk the talk
Since the two-point-o-four that I blew!
Sharon Neeman:
Oh well, yes, I suppose it is true
That the sky and some flowers are blue,
But my mood’s bluer still
When I see (as I will)
That my tax refund hasn’t come through.
Lisi Nortman:
Dear Santa, I’ve been very kind,
Extremely polite and refined.
Gee, now I am blue
Cuz none of that’s true.
I’m tearing this up. Never Mind!
Terry Marter:
Inspiration has got a clogged vent;
My mojo’s behind with the rent;
My muse is so blue
She hasn’t a clue,
And I can’t coin a phrase, cos I’m spent.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
An untalented flute ingenue,
Good at humming, took up the kazoo.
Buzzed the flautists, “Atrocious!”
Purred Maestro, “Precocious.”
(The kazoo wasn’t all that she blew.)
Keone Morienga:
Are you overwhelmed, stressed out, and blue
’Cause you bit more off than you can chew?
H o O k E r S d R u G s M i N d L e S s s E x
f L e E F r O m H i T – A n D – R u N W r E c K s …
Just like that, you won’t feel so askew!
Mark Totterdell:
So I went as a Smurf to the do,
All dressed up with my skin tinted too,
But I must have, I think,
Used indelible ink,
And for weeks ever since I’ve been blue.
Gennadiy Gurariy:
The past tense of fly? Why it’s flew.
The past tense of blow? Surely blew.
So why did my teacher
(A hard-hearted creature)
Get mad when I said “the car slew?”
HONORABLE MENTIONS (RELIGION-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION)
Gail White:
Said Abraham, “Lord, could you fix
Just one problem before the Law sticks?
We’re devout to the core,
But are you really sure
We must all snip the ends off our dicks?”
Lisi Nortman:
There’s a new handy way to confess.
Go ahead; you’ll relieve all your stress.
You won’t have to wait.
And you’ll still make your date.
Get in line for the “Ten Sins Or Less.”
Sharon Neeman:
Dear Pastor, I know that you pray
For me hundreds of times every day.
Better save that entreaty:
I’m telling you, sweetie,
I plan to stay gay anyway.
Robert Schechter:
The Lord said to Abraham, “Go
And slaughter your son. Don’t be slow!”
Abe said, “Who am I
To refuse to comply?”
But his son said he should have said no.
Terry Marter:
Eve wandered through Eden, in song,
Looking hot in a fresh fig-leaf thong.
She soon was detected
By Homo Erected.
I ask: what, on Earth, could go wrong?
Edmund Conti:
Said Harry, “I’m decent and clean
And my prayers are all prayers that I mean.
I’m now eighty-seven.
I’ll soon be in Heaven.”
Said God, “That remains to be seen.”
Keone Morienga, who describes this as “Off-Label Use for Holy Anointing Oil”
When she paused to discuss a conjunction –
Sought to question an ampersand’s function –
I said, “Miss, please excuse,
But this rub down could use
Fewer ifs, ands, or buts and more unction.”
Tim James:
Do you know my friend Tom, the agnostic?
On the subject of faith he is caustic:
“Utter nonsense! What goof
Believes tales with no proof?”
That’s the story behind this acrostic.
Fred Bortz:
A dyslexic was left in the lurch
On the pulpit, where he had a perch.
He offered his prayers
To the great Dog upstairs
And soon was tossed out of the church.
Steve Benko says:
“Hey buddy, come join the crusade;
We’ll pillage and loot and get laid,”
Said the knight. And the Pope
Says “Don’t sit there and mope;
Get a move on! For conquest I’ve prayed!”
Rudy Landesman:
I went skiing last year up in Maine.
All week long it did nothing but rain.
If God is all good,
I don’t know how He could
Permit evil weather. Explain!
Gennadiy Gurariy:
I admit I can feel the flames lapping
When I start anapestic’ly rapping
With my lim’rickal horde,
Yet even the Lord
(When they’re funny) is secretly clapping.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICK DIVISION: NAME, NAUSEOUS, PROFIT, TEASE, SILVER.)
Ken Gosse:
Alas, silver has no perfect rhyme.
Rhyming profit with prophet’s a crime.
In Jove’s name, please don’t tease—
near-rhyme causes unease—
I get nauseous from rhyme that’s sub-prime.
Lisi Nortman:
We named our new baby girl Iris.
For this miracle, Sue was desirous.
In her fam-il-y way,
She was nauseous each day
A Miracle? Or just a virus?
Sharon Neeman:
That monster whose name rhymes with “frump”
Leaves me nauseous and needing a dump,
But his luck has begun
To run out — oh, what fun! —
And his profits will certainly slump.
Tim James:
Teased a comely young woman named Mae:
“Come and see me! I’ll cook, then we’ll play!
But my cooking may cause ya
A bad bout of nausea.”
We skipped straight to the nookie that day.
Jon Gearhart:
A Shakespearian line, some think keen,
I tease is much too widely seen.
“What’s in a NAME?”
That question is lame–
The answer’s MANE, AMEN and MEAN!
Tim James:
A woman named Jenny, he’s found,
Has a body and face that astound.
She’s a bit of a tease,
But she’s willing to please.
Silver baubles will bring her around.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
“Secret Santa is always the same,”
Groused The Grinch. “What a profitless game.”
He dug into his hat,
And sighed, “So much for that.”
Once again he had drawn his own name.
Tim James:
They say profits and wealth are a lie;
Silver loses its shine, by and by.
The possession of treasure
Will bring you no pleasure.
(I’m willing to give it a try.)
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
A loner, named Ranger, prized tasks
That were mindless — like washing his masks.
If his doorbell should chime,
He’d tell Tonto, “Say I’m
Cleaning silver, if anyone asks.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Edmund Conti, Fred Bortz, Gail White, Gennadiy Gurariy, Jon Gearhart, Ken Gosse, Keone Morienga, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Lisi Nortman, Mark Totterdell, Robert Schechter, Rudy Landesman, Sharon Neeman, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Steve Benko, Terry Marter, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick-Off Award (504)
Saturday, December 10th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BLUE or BLEW at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RELIGION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RELIGION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: NAME, NAUSEOUS, PROFIT, TEASE, SILVER.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 8, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 7, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BLUE or BLEW-Rhyme Limerick:
A litigious old fellow was blue.
His friends (he had only a few)
Asked “Why the bad mood?”
The response from that dude
Was “I’ve run out of people to sue!”
And here’s my RELIGION-Themed Limerick:
A man of the cloth would not share
His frank with his date at the fair.
“That’s unfair,” she cried out.
“I gave you my kraut.
So canoodle tonight? Not a prayer!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
There is someone I could (but won’t) name
Who makes me feel nauseous. My aim
Isn’t testing or teasing;
He’s just so displeasing,
I’d rather not add to his fame.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Lawyer Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Litigation Humor, Litigation Limerick, Litigation Poem, Mood Humor, Mood Limerick, Mood Swings, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Friendship Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Religion Verse | 187 Comments »
Saturday, December 10th, 2022
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook in the last Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:
An Irish expatriate male
Yearned for Limerick gals, so set sail
To those faraway shores,
Where he found British whores,
All beyond the proverbial Pale.
Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special GOSSIP-Themed Limerick Award. In his trio of limericks, Tim imagines a world where children’s rhymes and songs are the subjects of gossip.
Mother Hubbard missed meals and she knew
That her doggy would go hungry too.
Now the word on the street
Is: in order to eat,
She’s been cooking herself canine stew.
That old farmer who lives in the dell
Torched his buildings in town, I hear tell.
Cow and cheese prices crashed
And his cash flow was slashed —
But the payout from Allstate was swell!
Have you heard the hot news about Jill?
Someone told me she went up the hill
With that ne’er-do-well Jack,
Then got down on her back.
I sure hope she’s been taking the Pill.
Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: CLASS, CATCH, FLASHY, STARE, GAIN.
When a lower-class lout (quite the potterer),
Wed a crone twice his age (thought a lot o’ her),
Said his Pappy, “What fun!
While I’m losing a son,
It appears I am gaining a dotterer!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sjaan VandenBroeder, Terry Marter, Jean McEwen, Lisi Nortman, Dave Johnson, Tim James, Mark Totterdell, Rudy Landesman, Tony Holmes, Edmund Conti, Bob Turvey, and Fred Bortz. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: SALE or SAIL-RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICKS)
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
Moby’s ladylove cried up a gale,
When she caught her man out chasing sail.
Upon hearing her blubber,
One classy landlubber,
Said, “Good God, that’s one hell of a wail!”
HONORABLE MENTIONS (SALE or SAIL-RHYME DIVISION)
Dave Johnson:
A mariner’s spinning a tale:
“How not to prepare for a gale.
It’s known from the past
That removing the mast
Will render a boat not for sail.”
Jean McEwen:
Those large bags of Tostitos, on sale
For $4.99 rarely fail
To draw in the shoppers
Who also love Whoppers–
Preferring them, greatly, to kale.
Lisi Nortman:
At Target, I’d hoped to succeed
In purchasing items I’d need.
But this “Black Friday” sale
Was more like a trail
That led to the Klondike Stampede.
Tim James:
Once again, with the ladies I fail.
When I asked for a night out with Gail,
She said, “Hate to be rude;
You’re a hapless old dude.”
What’s this “hap” and who’s got some for sale?
Mark Totterdell:
In that tale, when the whaler sets sail
On the trail of the palest old whale,
You hope it’ll so be
A win for old Moby,
And pray that the sailors will fail.
Terry Marter:
Archeologists dug hill and dale,
Found an ancient note; fragile and pale.
Spending millions (they said)
We’ve revealed that it’s red
And says: “half off marked price in this sale.”
Lisi Nortman:
I went with my bosom friend, Gail
To “Plus-Size” to check out their sale.
I tried to be kind
When I saw a “great find”
And said, “This would fit YOU or a whale.
Rudy Landesman:
My girlfriend, I’m told, has set sail.
Therein, as you’ve guessed, lies a tale.
She went off to float
In some other guy’s boat.
And I’m glad; I’ve been wanting to bail.
Tony Holmes:
Legend tells of a seafaring snail
Which went cruising traversing a sail.
In the time that it took
To return from Cape Cook
It had learned how to reef in a gale.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (GOSSIP-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION)
Edmund Conti:
Did you hear what I heard about Mary
And her deeds that were rather contrary
To our town’s moral code?
(Yes, I’m gonna explode.)
Psst, psst, also Tom, Dick and Harry.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
As for gossip these days, I want none of it;
Though it seems that I’m mired in a ton of it.
How I miss the old days,
With their civilized ways,
When we picked on folks just for the fun of it.
Bob Turvey:
There’s a gossip-mad lady called Fay
Who is gullible too, I would say.
She once started a rumour
That she had a tumour –
And believed it when told the next day!
Terry Marter:
Those who gossip can be such a pain.
They’ve no class, and their views are inane.
E.G: Trump’s a good case;
Gossip spews from his face,
Yet he thinks he’ll be Prez once again.
Jean McEwen:
Prying quidnuncs persistently wish
To find dirt on their foes, so they fish!
They’re expert consumers
Of bruit, tales, and rumors
That yentas reliably dish.
Lisi Nortman, for her “Juicy Gossip:
Did you hear that Mad’s led us astray?
She pilfered our verses last May!
Put them ALL in a book
You can find at “Book Nook”
Titled, “Never Write Lim’ricks This Way!”
Dave Johnson:
Whenever we go for a ride
On horseback, Sue’s quick to confide
Some secret she heard;
Now she’s spreading the word.
Her gossip is taken in stride.
Fred Bortz:
In Yiddish, they call her a Yenta.
She’s the one who believes virtue sent her.
Others’ favor she wins
By recounting your sins,
And there’s naught you can do to prevent her.
Tim James, a 2-verser:
There’s a statue of Zeus in the square,
Where the townsfolk have gathered to stare.
He’s buck naked, you see,
And his package is wee.
(He’s a god, though; that doesn’t seem fair.)
The chatter’s intense. “By my soul,
What poor loser would pose with that pole?”
“This was sculpted from life
By the mayor’s ex-wife!”
Idol gossip is out of control.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICK DIVISION: CLASS, CATCH, FLASHY, STARE, GAIN.)
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
When my last Class Reunion was done,
Someone nudged me to say that I’d won
At both “Glassy-eyed Stare”
And “Eat Muesli in Chair.”
See, you’re never too old to have fun.
Jean McEwen:
So you wonder why boys gape and stare
At your ass? Well, it’s practically bare!
Listen: Girls who dress flashy
Get treatment that’s trashy.
Attend to the clothes that you wear!
Lisi Nortman for her “Senior Citizen Mahjong Club”
Hot flashes are something we share.
We’ve no eyebrows, but lots of chin hair.
We’ve abandoned romance,
Cause we might wet our pants.
Yet, we still have that come-hither stare.
Edmund Conti:
There once was a golfer so flashy,
A bystander stared and said “Trashy.”
When she heard that oaf mutter,
She threw down her putter
And gave him a whack with her mashie.
Fred Bortz:
The laddie would stare at the lass,
Admiring the curve of her ass.
The way she was built
Got a rise ’neath his kilt,
Showing all that this Scot had no class.
Tim James:
Herschel Walker, a flashy young man
(Years ago), has been part of a plan
For a GOP gain.
It’s become very plain
He’s now only a flash in the pan.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
When I catch a rude stare from some lout,
Then I ponder, “What’s that all about?”
I prefer a good leer.
It may leave me in fear,
But at least it won’t leave me in doubt.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Turvey, Competition Limerick, Dave Johnson, Edmund Conti, Fred Bortz, Jean McEwen, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Lisi Nortman, Mark Totterdell, Poetry & Prompts, Rudy Landesman, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Terry Marter, Tim James, Tony Holmes, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest, Writing Contests, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry Contest | Comments Off on Limerick-Off Award (503)
Sunday, November 13th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SALE or SAIL at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. Here’s the last contest’s winners list.
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GOSSIP, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GOSSIP-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: CLASS, CATCH, FLASHY, STARE, GAIN.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 11, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 10, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SALE or SAIL-Rhyme Limerick:
Playing Wordle, for me, is a sport,
Though it doesn’t use balls or a court,
And it fails to entail
Racing skills, or a sail.
(I am more of a “sitting down” sort.)
And here’s my GOSSIP-Themed Limerick:
A gal who was known for her chutzpah
Owned a pricey and popular foot spa.
But she gossiped about
Ev’ry foot-fetish lout,
So alas it’s become a kaput spa.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
In class, I expelled a loud yawn.
(Its eight o’clock start felt like dawn.)
I stared at the clock
And got caught. Said Prof Locke,
“Bored? Then leave!” In a flash, I was gone.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Foot Humor, Games Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, School Humor, Spa Humor, Sports, Wordle, Wordle Humor, Wordle Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Games Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Sports Humor | 132 Comments »
Sunday, November 13th, 2022
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:
Once, a gentleman bought me a dress,
With a size label bigger than “s.”
In spite of its cost,
The garment got tossed,
While I muttered, “So much for largesse.”
Congratulations to ROBERT SCHECHTER, who wins the Special SINGING-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:
Poor Dorothy asks with a cry,
“If 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑑𝑠 can fly, why then can’t I?”
How sweetly she sings!
But she doesn’t have wings,
And to answer her question, that’s why.
Congratulations to KEN GOSSE, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: EYE, RAIL, RUSH, SEAT, SNAIL. (Somehow KEN GOSSE managed to use all five of them.)
Ken Gosse:
Miss Muffet’s quick eye spied a spider
In a rush to the seat right beside her.
She soon left this vale
Not by snail, but speed rail,
With a bite from that tiny, pale rider.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Terry Marter, Robert Schechter, Tim James, Edmund Conti, Lydia Porter a/k/a Cabbie Monaco, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Mark Totterdell, Paul Haebig, Rudy Landesman, Bob Turvey, Elizabeth M. Baker, Sue Dulley, Gail White, Brian Allgar, and Jean McEwen. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: DRESS-RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICKS)
Terry Marter:
I was sure that she gave me the eye,
So I took the next seat; squeezed her thigh.
Then she let me caress;
Slide my hand up her dress,
Where I quickly found out, she’s a guy!
HONORABLE MENTIONS (DRESS-RHYME DIVISION)
Robert Schechter:
I’m really not bright, I confess,
And my brain’s an embarrassing mess.
My neurons are spent!
I thought “Gettysburg” meant
Not a speech, but a type of a “dress.”
Tim James says:
When she gave him the slightest caress,
He embraced her and pawed at her dress.
“What a creep!” you may say.
But it’s really OK:
He’s a pup. They excel at excess.
Edmund Conti:
Excuse me, I’m under some stress,
Having made my last lim’rick a mess.
You see, I must squint
When I read the fine print–
Please use “dress,” please use “dress,” please use “dress!”
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
Many deeds in my past had tongues wagging,
And for years my atonement’s been lagging.
But I still can’t redress,
All my sins and confess,
Because God always knows when I’m bragging.
Lisi Nortman:
Although she enjoyed her success,
Working “retail” gives rise to much stress.
Selling women’s wear’s tough,
And what makes it so rough
All day long it’s re-dress and redress.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
Once, a fierce fashionista named Zach,
Told his boss, “I am on the attack!”
But he made a big mess
When creating a dress
Out of gunny. So Zach got the sack.
Tim James:
I’m a dud with the ladies, I guess.
When I asked for a date, lovely Jess
Told me, “Meet me at eight
At my place. Don’t be late.”
Then she gave me a bogus address.
Robert Schechter:
You’re correct that my clothes are a mess.
Yours are better, I freely confess.
But I have you beat
If we’re asked to compete
For the title “Most Fun to Undress.”
Cabbie Monaco:
Applying for jobs, gurus stress
That at interviews you must impress.
Don’t make a mistake
Like my bearded mate, Jake.
He turned up in a scarlet silk dress.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (SINGING DIVISION)
Lisi Nortman:
We ladies at “Sunset” are shrewd.
We don’t sing in the shower; it’s lewd.
Cause then we will dance,
Likely slip, and perchance
The Medics will notice we’re nude.
Mark Totterdell:
Any time I attempt karaoke,
Whether poppy or rocky or folky,
Though I think I’m a star
With the best voice by far,
I am really all tuneless and croaky.
Paul Haebig:
Our feelings, I know, differ vastly,
But I’ve always been fond of Rick Astley.
He is awfully cute!
We can watch him on “mute,”
Since you think that his singing is ghastly.
Terry Marter:
I am singing a beautiful song;
My voice sounds so good; can’t go wrong.
Then my friend’s voice breaks in:
“What the fuck is that din?
Quit the wailing, – and put down that bong.”
Sjaan Vandenbroeder:
My attempts to learn lyrics fell flat.
Karaoke, though, took care of that.
I mouth into the mike,
Any jabber I like,
And there’s always some guy who’ll yell, “Scat!”
Tim James:
When she sings, the collection of “notes”
She emits as she squirms and emotes
Is as soothing and sweet
As an ungulate’s bleat.
Oh my God, that’s an insult to goats.
Terry Marter:
On the shore; through the storm, I would sing.
As waves crashed, to love’s mem’ries I’d cling.
Held my pearls to the sky,
With a tear in my eye, –
Then they broke, and I swallowed some bling.
Tim James:
A chordophone-plucking jamoke
Crooned his ballads for Renaissance folk.
His gal gave him the boot
And made off with his lute —
Thereby leaving the guy flat baroque.
Rudy Landesman:
So now that I’m no longer young,
I’ve sharpened the bite of my tongue.
But don’t ask me why
I let sour notes fly.
It’s best we leave that song unsung.
Bob Turvey:
In China when springtime is young
And shoots from the ground have just sprung
To help them along
Folk sing them a song
And the singer is often called Sung.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICK DIVISION: EYE, RAIL, RUSH, SEAT, SNAIL) .
Edmund Conti:
Whenever you rush for a seat
You’ll find some young girl has you beat.
But don’t make a fuss
You are not on a bus.
It’s Musical Chairs, so compete!
Sjaan VandenBroeder
Snidely Whiplash, a dastardly male,
Rushed to tie lovely Nell to the rail.
I am bound to feel pain,”
She said, hearing the train,
“But I’d rather do this than eat kale.”
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
At the show, first in line for the loo,
Aesop’s hare eyed a snail in the queue.
Why’d the rabbit retreat,
And rush back to his seat?
Some might say that he sensed déjà vu.
Elizabeth M. Baker says:
The post office “rushes” my mail,
But slowness will always prevail.
In mail-time we speak;
One day is a week,
And that’s ‘cause the mailman’s a snail!
Sue Dulley:
She left the north-west in a gale
And travelled to London by rail.
She needed to rush
(Ask her why and she’ll blush)
But the train was as slow as a snail.
Gail White:
A snail took a seat on a rail
And watched as the sunrise grew pale,
When a snail in the grass
Shouted, “Watch it, you ass!
Behind you a train’s coming! Bail!
Brian Allgar:
This eye-catching race never fails;
All the seats were jam-packed to the rails.
Bang! The starting-gun shot,
But a rush it was not –
The event was a race between snails.
Terry Marter:
On a bright winter’s day, a cute snail
Warmed himself on a sunlit steel rail.
Then along came the rain,
And a rather large train.
Sunbathe Fail. End of snail. End of tale.
Lisi Nortman:
“Take a seat”, said the eye doctor, Scott.
Heard he’s thorough, I liked him a lot.
I asked, “Can I see
Your notes about me?”
He smiled and said, “Probably not.”
Jean McEwen:
A letter, these days, sent by mail
Seems to move at the pace of a snail.
Ask the postman to rush?
He will just retort: “Hush!”–
And annoyingly, then, drag his tail.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Turvey, Brian Allgar, Cabbie Monaco, Edmund Conti, Elizabeth M. Baker, Gail White, Jean McEwen, Ken Gosse, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Lisi Nortman, Mark Totterdell, Paul Haebig, Robert Schechter, Rudy Landesman, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Sue Dulley, Terry Marter, Tim James, Writing Competitions
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | Comments Off on Limerick-Off Award (502)
Saturday, October 15th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRESS or adDRESS or reDRESS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SINGING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SINGING-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: EYE, RAIL, RUSH, SEAT, SNAIL.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on November 13, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 12, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DRESS-Rhyme Limerick:
My sister just bawled out my niece:
“You’re unkempt and too sloppy, Elise.
You look like a mess!
Did you sleep in that dress?
I’m fed up! You must learn to de-crease.”
And here’s my SINGING-Themed Limerick:
A fellow who sang in a chorus
Tried out for the lead role in Boris.
“You are NOT good enough!”
Was the speedy rebuff.
“You sound like a sick stegosaurus.”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
A fellow who moved like a snail
Couldn’t help it; the old man was frail.
He’d been eyeing a seat
On the train, but was beat
By a boor also trav’ling by rail.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Audition Humor, Audition Limerick, Competition Limerick, Dress Humor, Dress Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Mother Humor, Mother Limerick, Opera Humor, Opera Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Rail Humor, Rush Humor, Singing Humor, Singing Limerick, Train Humor, Train Limerick, Voice Humor, Voice Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 179 Comments »
Saturday, October 15th, 2022
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:
Should Trump chance on a thought, then he’ll share it;
He loves nothing so much as to air it.
He’ll give to mankind
A piece of his mind,
Even though we all know he can’t spare it.
Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special BANK-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:
At the bank, works a woman named Heller;
The job that she does isn’t stellar.
Her cash counts are wrong,
And her lines slow and long.
Is there nobody there who will tell ’er?
Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: YAWN, CLAIM, SPORTS, LAZY, FEARLESS.
An old rancorous widow named Maisie,
Liked to claim her late husband was lazy.
When she’d visit his plot,
She’d say, “Just as I thought —
Now he won’t even push up a daisy.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Tim James, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Terry Marter, Dave Johnson, Trevor Alexander, Mark Totterdell, Rudy Landesman, Roger Haugen, Jean McEwen, Sue Dulley, Steve Benko, and Elizabeth M. Baker. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
HONORABLE MENTIONS (TRIPLE DUTY DIVISION: MIND or MINED or REMIND-RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO BANK-THEMED LIMERICKS and RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICKS)
Brian Allgar:
The bank-teller claimed, with a yawn,
“I’ve been working all night until dawn.
Counting bank-notes, I find,
Bores me out of my mind –
I would rather count grass on the lawn.”
HONORABLE MENTIONS (MIND or MINED or REMIND-RHYME DIVISION)
Tim James:
“I must have been out of my mind,”
Said the stripper, “to get in this bind.
I’m knocked up by a slob
And it’s cost me my job.
So now I’ve a bump — with no grind.”
Lisi Nortman:
I wrote a bad verse, using “mined.”
This mistake shows my mind has declined.
I rhymed low with hello.
That’s a mega “no-no,”
So to “Lim’rick Jail” I’ve been assigned.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
When my brain’s in a dither, I find
A quick means to achieve peace of mind:
I take all the TP
Off the roll just to see
That there’s always some way to unwind.
Terry Marter:
Since you saw me last year, am I fatter?
I have tried using mind over matter.
With this matter in mind:
My tum? My behind?
Looking back we can see, – it’s the latter.
Dave Johnson:
She told him “I hope you don’t mind,
But this is the way I unwind.”
Her getting undressed
Set the stage for the rest;
Extending a date that was “blind.”
Trevor Alexander:
Well I must have been out of my mind,
When my girlfriend asked if her behind
Looked big in that dress:
My mouth told her, “Yes.”
Now to singleton life, I’m resigned.
Mark Totterdell:
I have fallen so very behind
That I guess I’m completely resigned
To the fact there’s no time
To come up with a rhyme
For this contest that has the word ‘mind.’
HONORABLE MENTIONS (BANK-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION)
Lisi Nortman:
“Granny loves you and wants to express
Her hopes for your future success.
She sent five dollars, Frank!
Put it right in the bank.
And in time, you will see it’s worth less.”
Terry Marter:
He approached the head teller (in floral)
To tell ’er he wanted some oral.
They snuck in a closet;
He left his deposit,
Then hastily made a withdrawal.
Rudy Landesman:
On the banks of the old Jordan River
Sat King Herod; and, Lord, did he quiver!
He’d caught with some guilt a
Fat fish called gefilte.
And that, my good friends, ain’t chopped liver.
Lisi Nortman:
The first thing I felt was a tickle.
The tickle turned into a trickle.
We all had to “go”
Cause the bank line was slow.
Seems that Joe way upfront lost a nickel.
Roger Haugen:
You’d call it a pretty dumb prank,
To hold up the town’s biggest bank;
But he grabbed all the cash
And took off in a flash,
Firing only one bullet – a blank.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
I like banks that are caches for dough,
But the tilt of an airplane? Oh no!
I love banks with a slope
To a lake, but say. “Nope!”
To the ones that are made up of snow.
Banks of lights at a gala are cool,
As are bank shots in b-ball and pool;
Plus I’m an admirer,
Of Banks known as Tyra
(Though I can’t rhyme her name as a rule.)
HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICK DIVISION: YAWN, CLAIM, SPORTS, LAZY, FEARLESS)
Tim James:
An artist who’s claimed to be fearless
Sports a look that is utterly peerless.
Surpassing Van Gogh,
He makes buckets of dough
Painting “Starry Night” knockoffs while earless.
Jean McEwen:
While the masses exhibit élan
Watching spectator sports, hanging on
To their team’s every play,
I prefer the ballet.
Watching sports gives me one great big yawn.
Sue Dulley:
In sports, I’m both fearless and lazy,
I won’t train if it’s wet, hot or hazy;
Not afraid to come last
As I have in the past,
Running slow, looking fresh as a daisy.
Tim James:
She claimed as she stifled a yawn:
“All the fun in our marriage is gone.”
He was too dense to fear
That the ending was near —
Till he found his stuff out on the lawn.
Terry Marter:
My brother, at cycling, is fearless.
He’s a champ, and I’d claim that he’s peerless.
He’s active and zealous;
I’m lazy, but jealous,
So I sold all his stuff; now he’s gear-less.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
The mere thought of a trip makes me wan;
I’m too lazy to get up at dawn,
Or to ruin a nap,
Just to look at a map,
And then roam about hither and yawn.
Steve Benko:
“To bet you will win would be crazy,”
Said the friends of a tortoise named Daisy.
But she claimed, “See that yawn?
All your jew’ls go and pawn,
For at sports that hare’s fearless but lazy.”
Elizabeth M. Baker:
To encourage a good health report,
My doctor advises a sport.
I claimed to do one,
But it just wasn’t fun —
So my lifetime will have to be short!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Elizabeth M. Baker, Jean McEwen, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Mark Totterdell, Roger Haugen, Rudy Landesman, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Steve Benko, Sue Dulley, Terry Marter, Tim James, Trevor Alexander, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | Comments Off on Limerick-Off Award (501)
Saturday, September 17th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MIND or MINED or REMIND at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BANKS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BANK-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: YAWN, CLAIM, SPORTS, LAZY, FEARLESS
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 16, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 15, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my MIND or MINED or REMIND-Rhyme Limerick:
A fellow was asked to help mind
A young dog by a gal in a bind.
But he said, “I’m tied up
And can’t help with that pup.”
The response she unleashed wasn’t kind.
And here’s my BANK-Themed Limerick:
A foolish young fellow named Frank
Had a low-level job in a bank.
When a gal asked for francs,
He informed her, “The ranks
Of this bank have just one, plus a Hank.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
When the judge caught me yawning in court,
He accused me of being the sort
Of gal “who became
An Esq., just to claim
A husband, or simply for sport.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bank Humor, bank limerick, Competition Limerick, Dog Humor, Dog Limerick, Judge Humor, Judge Limerick, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Pet Humor, Pet Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 158 Comments »
Saturday, September 17th, 2022
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to DOUG HARRIS, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:
The digital gremlins let rip
And chewed up my laptop’s old chip.
As it draws its last breath
With the blue screen of death,
How’s it playing an Amazon clip??
Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Special RELAXATION-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:
He tried to relax, but he failed;
So a bowl of the best he inhaled.
He had hoped he would find
That it helped him unwind.
Now his train of thought’s fully derailed.
Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: DEFECT, SMART, VOICE, SHAME, TASTE.
Since my dog is so smart, it’s no wonder,
She barks, “Roof!” ev’ry time she hears thunder.
I share her perspective;
When weather’s defective,
It’s not something we ought to be under.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sjaan VandenBroeder, Terry Marter, Tim James, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Dale S. Biggs, Jean McEwen, Linda A. C. Fuller, Roger Haugen, Dave Johnson, Tony Holmes, Rudy Landesman, and Gail White. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
HONORABLE MENTIONS (CHIP-RHYME DIVISION)
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
Jack Sprat and his missus would brawl
At each meal over grievances small.
He: “This plate has a chip!”
She: “Enough with the lip —
You’re lucky I feed you at all!”
Terry Marter:
He gambled his house and his ship,
Told the croupier gal “Let her RIP!”
She spun; the ball popped.
His heart (and wheel) stopped.
The loss killed him, – he’s cashed his last chip.
Tim James:
Willie Wonka was smart as a whip;
On computers he had a firm grip.
As his business had grown
He built one of his own.
It contained the world’s first choc’late chip.
Lisi Nortman:
Susie gave me a wonderful tip:
“You’re too fat girl, now please get a grip.
Though this may sound absurd,
You must eat like a bird.”
Then she left, and I pecked at a chip.
Dale S. Biggs:
A putt’s not a drive or a chip.
It’s a nudge t’wards a cup or its lip.
When it’s good, the ball drops,
But it mostly just stops–
And I can’t blame the grass or my grip!
Linda Fuller:
On his shoulder he carries a chip,
And there’s always a gun on his hip.
Don’t mess with this dude
’Cause he’s got a real ’tude,
And his sanity’s starting to slip.
Roger Haugen:
He swallowed a silicon chip
That migrated straight to his hip;
He’s now a cool chipster,
A solid-state hipster,
With 5G and great broad-band zip.
Dave Johnson:
That platter held nary a chip;
The same could be said for the dip.
Our guests had all gone,
But one moment lived on:
When everyone winced at my quip:
I did NOT meant to shock when I said,
“We’re having a hard time in bed.”
Our mattress – it sags!
Now on Facebook their gags
Have phrases like “came to a head…”
HONORABLE MENTIONS (RELAXATION-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION)
Lisi Nortman:
I tried jogging, but didn’t get far.
I’d rather have taken my car!
Long ago, I had zest,
But lately I’m stressed.
Now my fav’rite pursuit’s R&R.
Jean McEwen:
These alternative “types” are sheer quacks.
Their “advice,” said to help folks “relax,”
(Like that “mindfulness” crap)
Makes me just want to slap
Them or lash out in rage with an axe.
Terry Marter:
Slung my hammock across; tree to tree,
And unwound with good wine, and some Brie.
Gentle breeze in my hair;
Relaxation, right there!
Damn! I need to dash off for a pee.
Lisi Nortman:
After work, I can’t wait to see Judd.
He’s my Pit Bull and very best “bud.”
Judd is sweet and so kind,
And he helps me unwind.
After snugg’ling, I wash off the blood.
Terry Marter:
The William Creek pub draws me nigh.
I’ll relax; see Lake Eyre from the sky.
Then, my favourite deal, –
Their seven-course meal:
It consists of six beers and a pie.
Lisi Nortman:
Writing lim’ricks is how I de-stress.
Who cares if my house is a mess?
I don’t cook; I don’t clean.
I ain’t got no routine…
Except for the keys that I press.
Tony Holmes:
“I prefer, when I’m taking my ease,
That I not be disturbed, if you please.
What I do when alone
In my ‘man-only’ zone
Is protected by laws and decrees.”
Tim James:
There once was a bellhop named Chip
Who was helping a guest with her grip.
And I don’t mean her bag,
But her grasp. Then their shag
Meant that SHE was receiving the tip.
From her job she’d been recently axed;
Her anxiety level was maxed.
So she went on a trip,
Where she met handsome Chip.
The result: she’s extremely relaxed.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICK DIVISION: DEFECT, SMART, VOICE, SHAME, TASTE.)
Tim James:
In the sciences, letters, and arts
She’s a genius, with scores off the charts.
I give voice to this cry:
“She’s much brighter than I!”
I’m ashamed to admit that it smarts.
Rudy Landesman:
It’s a shame that you choose to decline
This elegant wine from the Rhine.
You say it’s a waste
And has simply no taste?
I’d say that’s your old vintage whine.
Linda Fuller:
Such a shame that he has a nice voice;
Intonations that leave you no choice,
But to follow his lead
Into every misdeed.
Such a man makes the devil rejoice.
Lisi Nortman:
How dare you imply that my voice
Reveals I don’t own a Rolls Royce!
I have such a smart mind.
Can’t you tell I’m refined?
In the theater, I’ve played Blanche DuBoyce.
Gail White:
I dance and I drink without shame.
For my actions I’m taking no blame.
For at seventy-five,
I’m still smart and alive
And a highly sarcastic old dame.
Terry Marter:
The young milkmaid appealed to his taste.
He voiced “Darlin’, yer garter’s unlaced.
It’s defective, you see.
Let me fix it for thee.”
She’s straight-laced now, – but no longer chaste.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
When I narrate a lim’rick, my choice
Is quite often a “first person” voice.
If I could, I would own a
Much smarter persona.
This one’s dumb, but I’ve some that are woise.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Dale S. Biggs, Dave Johnson, Doug Harris, Gail White, Jean McEwen, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Linda Fuller, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Roger Haugen, Rudy Landesman, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Terry Marter, Tim James, Tony Holmes, Writing Competitions
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | Comments Off on Limerick-Off Award (500)
Saturday, August 20th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CHIP at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RELAXATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RELAXATION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: DEFECT, SMART, VOICE, SHAME, TASTE.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 18, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 17, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CHIP-rhyme limerick:
A fellow who thought he was hip
And who bragged he’d invented a chip,
Would attempt to act cool,
But look like a fool;
Telltale chip-crumbs bespeckled his lip.
Here’s my RELAXATION-themed limerick:
A man was attempting to chill,
But his debt worries made him feel ill.
And all of his tries
To relax were unwise
Cuz they further inflated his bill.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR limerick:
With podcasts I’m highly selective;
Something witty and smart’s my objective.
Plus I must clear my choice
With my ears. If the voice
Is high-pitched, it’s, alas, deemed “defective.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Audio, Chips, Competition Limerick, Debt Humor, Debt Limericks, Food Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Podcast Humor, Podcast Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Relaxation Humor, Relaxation Limerick, Technology Humor, Voice Humor, Voice Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 174 Comments »
Saturday, August 20th, 2022
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to MARK TOTTERDELL, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this funny limerick:
An imprudent old glutton called Jake
Ate his way through a hundred ounce steak
And a bucket of fries
Of extravagant size.
They served salad, that’s all, at his wake.
Congratulations to TERRY MARTER, who wins the Special BARS-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:
A triangle player called Lars
Was cornered by three police cars.
Since that car chase from hell,
He now lives in a cell
Where he rests, counting time through the bars.
Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: SHOP, RUN, NEWS, WARNING, FIRST.
When I opened a Mom and Pop Shop,
First my Ma thought it over-the-top.
But then she — never mirthless —
Said, “Frankly, I’m worthless,
But we’ll ask a good price for your Pop.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Steve Johnston, Terry Marter, Tim James, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Brian Allgar, Rudy Landesman, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Michael Moulton, Steve Benko, Jean McEwen, Gail White, Lydia Porter a/k/a Cabbie Monaco, and John Davison. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
HONORABLE MENTIONS (TRIPLE DUTY DIVISION: STAKE/STEAK/MISTAKE-RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO BAR-THEMED LIMERICKS and RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICKS)
Steve Johnston:
The warning at first was bad news:
All wine shops might run out of booze.
So much was at stake,
That I rushed out to slake
My thirst at some bars with some brews.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE-RHYME DIVISION)
Terry Marter:
I pre-ordered our meal by the lake,
But the restaurant staff need a shake:
Asked for fillet (by phone);
What I got was T-bone.
Now the bone of contention’s my steak!
Tim James:
A gal named Marie Antoinette
Didn’t grasp just how bad things could get.
With her noggin at stake
She cried, “Let them eat cake!”
’Twas an outburst she came to regret.
Lisi Nortman:
This Haiku-Off’s a real piece of cake.
It’s so easy I have to partake:
“Soft rain, winsome day,
The unfolding of May.”
(I think I just made a mistake.)
Brian Allgar:
The Donald decided to take
All the classified docs, as his stake.
If he ran out of cash,
He could sell the whole stash
To his very good buddy, the Sheikh.
Rudy Landesman:
In Paris I spent all my dough
On a painting by Señor Miró.
But I made a mistake;
Didn’t know ’twas a fake.
They spoke French when they said that it’s “faux.”
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
Warning signs say I’m old; I feel cursed.
Yet my mem’ry is not at its worst.
In fact now when I make
Any kind of mistake,
I can honestly claim it’s my first.
Lisi Nortman:
If your shoulders feel tight and they ache,
You should try the same treatments I take.
The needles are small
And they don’t hurt at all,
If you like being jabbed with a stake.
Mike Moulton:
When Pericles, once a young rake,
Solved a riddle his life was at stake:
It regarded a king,
Whose incestuous fling
Was more than the poor prince could take.
Steve Benko:
“Go ahead, through my heart drive that stake,”
Sneered the Count; “It’s so cheap it will break.”
Van Helsing replied,
“There’s no need to be snide,
And it’s daytime — how come you’re awake?”
HONORABLE MENTIONS (BARS-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION)
Lisi Nortman:
At “Senior Life,” wow, we’ve come far:
Our strip shows are wild and bizarre!
We have sex ev’ry night
Till the dawn’s early light.
In our showers, there’s even a bar.
Rudy Landesman:
Diabetics, and this I do know,
Should cut out all sugar. And so,
Goodbye candy bars!
And this really scars —
My sweet sugar daddy must go.
Tim James:
An impulsive young fellow named Lars
Had a yen for fast women and cars.
He’d no money, the schlub,
So he held up a pub.
Now he’ll spend three to five behind bars.
Terry Marter:
Couldn’t sleep (I’d tried counting the stars.)
Music worked ’cause it drowned-out the cars.
But I woke with a start
When, before the best part,
It just stopped, – after thirty one bars.
Lisi Nortman:
“We are no longer called “Pub McGee.”
Sorry patrons, the news is that we
Have lost our permit.
All the bartenders quit,
And our new name is “BYOB.”
Jean McEwen:
To hear sad-sacks and hapless bums croon,
The best place is your local saloon.
For a moderate cost
You yourself can get sauced
And then belt out your own maudlin tune.
Gail White:
All the cool writers hang out in bars
With the painters and big movie stars,
But I and my friends
When the night’s drinking ends
Sit in subways and strum our guitars.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
Mad is looking around for a pun;
Geez, I hope I can come up with one…
“Guy walks into a bar,
Breaks his nose — hardy har!”
Ah, voila! Now my day’s work is done.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICK DIVISION — “SHOP, RUN, NEWS, WARNING, FIRST”)
Lisi Nortman:
“I’m your hostess, and please be aware:
In our ‘First Class’ you’ll get special care.
I have warned those in “coach”
That each snack has a roach,
And they all have to pee at O’Hare.”
Tim James:
See us first when you want to buy weed!
Ours is best, as you’ll gladly concede.
If you want to get high,
My fine missus and I
Run the mom-and-pop pot shop you need.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
On the news we’re warned, “Carry a mask”
And a gun, in case shopping’s your task.
But for me the best way,
To keep worries at bay,
Is, quite simply, to carry a flask.
Lydia Porter a/k/a Cabbie Monaco:
When I was a kid I drank pop
That I bought from the local sweet-shop.
Back home I would run
’Cos I thought it was fun
When the fizz popped the cap off the top.
Lisi Nortman:
“Oh, Mom I have wonderful news!
I’ll never again sing the blues.
I hit a home run,
And the other team won.
But ours was the FIRST one to lose.”
John Davison:
If I buy too much stuff in the shop,
There’s a risk that some items I’ll drop;
As I’m frequently cursed,
The eggs will fall first,
Then I’ll sheepishly ask for a mop.
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
I’ve lost facts that my brain has mislaid,
Let run dry, or repressed, or made fade.
So it seems kind of lame,
That it still stores the name
Of the teacher I had in first grade.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Gail White, Jean McEwen, John Davison, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Lydia Porter, Mark Totterdell, Mike Moulton, Rudy Landesman, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Steve Benko, Steve Johnston, Terry Marter, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | Comments Off on Limerick-Off Award (499)
Saturday, July 23rd, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BARS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BARS-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SHOP, RUN, NEWS, WARNING, FIRST.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 21, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 20, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE-rhyme limerick:
A man who was rather a flake
Would beef about folks eating steak:
“When you chew, cows can feel it,”
He’d hiss. “As for veal, it
Is worse, so I cotton to snake.”
And here’s my BARS-themed limerick:
A pub owner often stole cars,
Pricey paintings, and sometimes guitars.
He neglected his tavern,
Which looked like a cavern.
Fin’lly caught, he is now behind bars.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR Limerick:
“Don’t go running with knives,” parents warn.
Their children’s response? Often scorn:
“How ’bout scissors?” they query,
Which makes one mom weary:
“Should have stopped with my very first born.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Badly Behaved Children, Beef Eaters, Children Humor, Competition Limerick, Flakes Humor, Food Poem, Food Verse, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Snake Limericks, Steak Humor, Steak Limerick, Vegetarians Humor, Warnings Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 177 Comments »
Saturday, July 23rd, 2022
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick-Off winners based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in the last Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins the Limerick-Off Award for this crafty 2-verse limerick:
Tim James:
Penny glared at the “food” on her plate.
“Are you trying to make me lose weight?”
She inquired of her guy.
“That’s not fit for a sty!
As a drain cleaner, though, it’s first-rate.”
Harry knew he’d been properly chaffed.
“I guess cooking’s beyond me!” he laughed.
He escaped Penny’s glare
When he learned to prepare
Mac and cheese sold in boxes by Kraft.
Congratulations to SJAAN VANDENBROEDER, who wins the Special CRAFT-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
A comedical poet of note,
On the subject of lim’ricks once wrote:
“Call it craft, call it art,
Me, I don’t give a fart.
Do whichever it is floats your boat.”
Congratulations to LISI NORTMAN, who wins the “Random Word Generator” Limerick Award, for a clever limerick which uses at least two of these five words: COMPLAINT CELL FORBID QUIRKY BOIL. (It’s also also a CRAFT-Themed limerick.
Lisi Nortman:
The motif I designed very well
Is a smash with my rich clientele.
Haven’t heard one complaint!
And I’ve named it, “The Quaint
Martha Stewart Traditional Cell.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Sjaan VandenBroeder, Steve Johnston, Terry Marter, Lisi Nortman Ardissone, Steve Benko, Bob Turvey, Michael Moulton, Byron Miller, Mark Totterdell, Trevor Alexander, Rudy Landesman, Richard Campbell, Dane Paulsen, Tim James, Robert Martinez, Paul Haebig, Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Woodstock Taylor, and Christophe Gowans. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: PLATE-RHYME LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICKS)
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
A gal with a braid long and straight,
Who desired a twist more ornate,
Dressed her tresses with bling
(A new wave, quirky thing),
Then complained, “I’ve too much on my plait!”
HONORABLE MENTIONS (DOUBLE DUTY DIVISION: CRAFT-THEMED LIMERICKS THAT ARE ALSO RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICKS)
Steve Johnston:
In his cell they forbid pastel paint,
But the artsy con curbs his complaint.
His blood’s at a boil,
Yet he will not roil.
He’s quirky, but whiner he ain’t.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (PLATE-RHYME DIVISION)
Terry Marter:
The waitress I wanted to date
Tripped and fell in my lap. (It was fate.)
“You saved me!” she said.
The first thought in my head?
“She’s been handed to me on a plate.”
Lisi Nortman:
Oh, what an imposing estate!
It’s in very good taste, yet ornate.
We drank wine from Lalique.
The sterling was chic.
And each guest had a posh paper plate.
Steve Benko:
“If you leave any food on your plate,
You will suffer a terrible fate,”
Said the parents. “Okay,”
The boy answered, “But hey,
As to sins, did you know I’m not straight?”
Bob Turvey:
There was a young fellow named Bunn
Who was shot in the head with a gun.
A large metal plate
Caused the pain to abate
And made airport security fun.
Mike Moulton:
The Queen (bless her heart) was irate
When she saw Emsley’s portrait of Kate;
With the paint hardly dry,
She let out a cry:
“I’ll have that man’s head on a plate!”
Byron Miller:
The amount he had piled on his plate,
Made some “all you can eat” guests irate.
Once his meal had been tabled,
Chit-chat was disabled:
His dinner had hidden his date.
Mark Totterdell:
At the trendy new place where we ate,
Food was served on a board, or a slate,
Or a piece of rare vinyl,
Or old cracked urinal,
Or anything else but a plate.
Trevor Alexander:
In a chat with my long-time best mate
Who’d a penchant for putting on weight,
I confided I felt
That he’d be rather svelte
If he ate from a much smaller plate.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (CRAFT-THEMED LIMERICK DIVISION)
Steve Benko:
“We think women do witchcraft in Salem,”
Said the mayor. “We find ’em and nail ’em.”
The Supreme Court rejoined,
“Women’s rights we’ve purloined!”
And a mullah just shrugged, “Here, we veil ’em.”
Rudy Landesman:
I sought help from a clown of renown.
“My jokes,” I said, “make people frown.”
He said, “Nobody laughed?
You should first hone your craft.
And then you must dumb your jokes down.”
Steve Johnston:
On hearing my warning, they laughed:
“You silly twit, you must be daft.
There is no need to panic!
We’re on the Titanic.
No iceberg can threaten this craft!”
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
To my Craftsman-style house came a “crafter,”
Paid to tear down a rotted old rafter.
I asked, “Load-bearing wall?”
He said, “Too soon to call.
But no worries — I’ll let you know after.”
Richard Campbell:
Some say lim’ricks are simple to craft.
But those folks are decidedly daft.
It’s so easy to goof,
And I’ll proffer as proof:
This last line was my seventeenth draft.
Dane Paulsen:
Carving models – a difficult craft;
I wanted to cry, but just laughed
When I lost a firm grip
And I caused chisel-slip,
Turning sailing ship into a raft.
Tim James:
Said a crafty investor named Schmidt
(Who had dabbled in crypto a bit):
“It’s the ol’ pump-and-dump —
Last guy in is a chump —
But for now it’s still semi-legit.”
Lisi Nortman:
Using witchcraft is no longer fun.
I’ve promised myself that I’m done.
No more casting love spells
In those sleazy motels;
Doesn’t work, the men see me and run.
Robert Martinez:
Whether boat or a raft or pontoon,
I can shrug off the fiercest typhoon.
Hell, just give me a plank;
Your ass I’ll still spank
In a sailing race to Cameroon.
Terry Marter:
In the lane-way, the art-n-craft gallery
Is a ‘front’ for the hot hooker (Valerie.)
It’s well known: ‘Backstreet Vally’
Lures men up her alley;
They’re the real source of Valerie’s salary.
Steve Benko:
My limerick writing’s a craft;
I work hard on them, draft after draft.
One night a bad dream
Made me wake up and scream;
At my entries, Mad Kane hadn’t laughed.
Mark Totterdell:
Old Noah was not at all daft
In the way that he loaded his craft,
Taking trouble to store
Both the lions to the fore,
And the zebras and antelopes aft.
HONORABLE MENTIONS (RANDOM WORD GENERATOR LIMERICK DIVISION)
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
There are those who would never complain,
Should the Other Guy’s future domain,
Be a place with a lock —
One small cell in a block —
An apt tribute, perhaps, to his brain.
Paul Haebig:
He managed in prison quite well
And he soon learned to cope in his cell.
Some things they forbid
And those things he hid…
But just where, I would rather not tell.
Brian Allgar:
The hooker used terms that were quirky:
Straight sex became “Stuffing the Turkey.”
A hand-job (how quaint!)
She called “Portnoy’s Complaint,”
And a blow-job she sold as “Beef Jerky.”
Dave Johnson:
I am not really one to complain,
But cell phones may drive me insane:
Unusable apps
And connections that lapse;
My land line’s a must to retain.
Tim James:
My complaint is: my gal has a quirk.
It’s her mood; it can change with a jerk.
She transitions with ease
From a boil to a freeze.
Keeping up is a whole lot of work!
Woodstock Taylor:
Dear Customer Care – a complaint:
A functional cell phone this ain’t.
And heaven forbid
It should do what it did
In the ad – that would be just too quaint!
Christophe Gowans:
Now, a quirky young inmate called Doyle
Had a nasty complaint: a big boil.
Medics said “Bloody hell!”
Sent him back to his cell
And forbade him from selling the “oil.”
Terry Marter:
He gets word in his cell (on home soil), –
His exub’rance, now starting to boil:
The proud father to be
Is in Brooklyn (you see)
And yells out to the world “It’s a Goil!”
Sjaan VandenBroeder:
Pure and pious was Pete as a kid —
Never sinned like the other boys did.
So he had no complaint,
On becoming a Saint,
And enjoyed saying, “Heaven forbid!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win the Limerick-Off Award.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Turvey, Brian Allgar, Byron Miller, Christophe Gowans, Dane Paulsen, Dave Johnson, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Lisi Nortman, Mark Totterdell, Mike Moulton, Paul Haebig, Richard Campbell, Robert Martinez, Rudy Landesman, Sjaan VandenBroeder, Steve Benko, Steve Johnston, Terry Marter, Tim James, Trevor Alexander, Woodstock Taylor, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | Comments Off on Limerick-Off Award (498)
Saturday, June 25th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PLATE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write CRAFT-themed limericks using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CRAFT-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of these Random Words anywhere in your limericks: COMPLAINT CELL FORBID QUIRKY BOIL.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random words and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives into adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 24, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 23, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my PLATE-rhyme limerick:
A slacker was caught as he ate,
By the boss, who was rather irate.
His response, when reproved
For blown deadlines? Unmoved:
“Not my fault! I’ve too much on my plate.”
And here’s my CRAFT-themed limerick:
A ship-wrecked young man on a raft
Felt sev’ral strong wind gusts abaft.
He cursed his bad luck,
His life run amok,
And the death of his rickety craft.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR Limerick:
I’m sick of my cell phone co’s quirks.
Its service employees are jerks.
When I called to complain,
Their response was insane:
“Call again with a cell phone that works.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Boat Humor, Boat Limerick, Boating Humor, Boss Humor, Boss Limerick, Cell Phone Humor, Cell Phone Limerick, Competition Limerick, Complaint Humor, Complaint Limerick, Customer Service Humor, Employment Humor, Employment Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Phone Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Transportation, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Telephone Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 205 Comments »
