Archive for the ‘Legal & Lawyer Humor’ Category
Sunday, November 8th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SNIPE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Give me substance! Do NOT type up tripe,
Said the law prof, who’d frequently snipe
At his class, which thus far
Set a very low bar
And seemed likely to stay true to type.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Education & School Humor, Law School, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Professors, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Education & School Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Forms | 56 Comments »
Tuesday, October 20th, 2015
Here’s something that just doesn’t track:
Having sex with a tractor is whack!
But a Brit was arrested.
His crime? He molested
Deere rears, which must now watch their back.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Farm Equipment, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Sex Humor, Tractor Humor
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Is There Anything Men Won’t Have Sex With? (Limerick)
Saturday, June 27th, 2015
Limerick Ode To Gay Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Ev’ry marriage has good and has bad.
It brings joy, but can drive you quite mad.
I’m so glad gays are free
Via legal decree
To wed — Just don’t marry in plaid.
Tags: Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, Law Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Marriage Humor, Supreme Court
Posted in Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Gay Marriage
Wednesday, June 17th, 2015
A Bugged Plaintiff (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Madame Blanche filed a claim with the court,
A complaint for intentional tort:
“As plainly depicted
Distress was inflicted–
My old spouse should by now be quite mort.”
Tags: Crime & Punishment Humor, Law Humor, Litigation Humor, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Tort Verse
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on A Bugged Plaintiff (Limerick)
Sunday, May 3rd, 2015
Redundant Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I avow and aver and declare
And affirm and attest and I swear:
The redundancy flaw
From practicing law
Ain’t impairing my lim’ricks. So there!
Tags: Law Humor, Lawyer Humor, Lawyer Limerick, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Jargon, Legal Limerick, Redundancy Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | 13 Comments »
Tuesday, April 21st, 2015
Here’s my double dactyl to celebrate John Mortimer’s birthday today. (Though he died back in 2009, I still have vivid memories of meeting and interviewing him for a profile I wrote for British Heritage Magazine way back in 1996. You can read my John Mortimer profile here.)
But back to my double dactyl:
Higgledy Piggledy
John Clifford Mortimer
Barrister, Author,
Rumpolian wit.
Bailey, his bailiwick
Prima-facetiously
He and his Horace sure
Loved to acquit.
Tags: Authors & Playwrights, Barristers, Brits, Death, Double Dactyls, Interviews, John Mortimer, Lawyers, Obit, Profiles, Writers
Posted in Authors & Playwrights, Books, Celebrity Humor, Double Dactyls, Interviews, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Public Figures | Comments Off on Double Dactyl For John Mortimer
Sunday, January 18th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who’d just made a pass…*
or
A fellow was trying to pass…*
or
I purchased an annual pass…*
or
A woman had hoped to surpass…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Pass
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A stoner was trying to pass
Forged fifties to pay for a class.
He got caught and was jailed
And then tried to get bailed
With more fakes, so his ass is now grass.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 63 Comments »
Tuesday, January 13th, 2015
Yoga Tale (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A student was learning a stretch
From her yoga instructor — a lech
Who made passes in classes;
He loved fetching asses.
A class action’s been filed v. that wretch.
*****
View my Yoga Tale Limerick image here.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Class Actions, Exercise Humor, Lascivious Humor, Lecherous Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick Images, Litigation Humor, Yoga Humor, Yoga Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Education & School Humor, Exercise Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 8th, 2014
Limerick Ode To “Lovable Lawyers Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “Lovable Lawyers Day.” Whee!
But this day isn’t greeted with glee.
It seems most people say:
“Love a Lawyer? No Way!”
But what about ex-Esqs … like me?
*****
Alternative Version for “Love Your Lawyer Day” (1st Friday in November)
“Love Your Lawyer Day” most will agree
Isn’t greeted with gusto or glee.
Many clients would say:
“Love my lawyer? No way!”
But what about ex-Esqs … like me?
Tags: Law Humor, Lawyers, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Lovable Lawyers Day, Love Your Lawyer Day, November Holidays, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To “Lovable Lawyers Day” (October 8)
Saturday, October 4th, 2014
A “Really Big Shew” of A Crime (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A crisis had come to a head
And a torso and legs. Tears were shed,
Cuz some soon-to-be cons
Stole Ed Sullivan’s bronze.
But don’t fret — they’ve reclaimed AWOL Ed.
Yes, Ed Sullivan fans can breathe sighs of relief: “Los Angeles police have found the missing bronze statue of the renowned American TV personality, four days after it was stolen from the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.”
Tags: Art Humor, Celebrity Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Ed Sullivan, Statues, Theft
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Celebrity Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on A “Really Big Shew” Of A Crime (Limerick)
Monday, August 18th, 2014
What sort of burglar sends stolen jewelry to a newspaper, complaining that the stuff he stole from a socialite turned out to be fake?
Limerick Ode To A Petty Thief (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bad luck has befallen this snake,
Who’s upset by his jew’lry heist take!
His chagrin is immense
Cuz he called on his fence
And was told that his haul was all fake.
UPDATE: National Jewel Day is March 13th.
Tags: Jewelry Day, March Holidays, National Jewelry Day, Odd Holidays
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, House & Home Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To A Petty Thief (Limerick)
Saturday, August 2nd, 2014
Open Limerick To Facebook Fanatics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Facebook fanatics, I know
That an outage on Facebook’s a blow.
But a crisis that small
Doesn’t call for a call
To the cops. Grab a beer or Bordeaux.
(Inspired by the lunatics who called 911 lines Friday during Facebook’s half-hour outage.)
Tags: 911 Calls, Computer Humor, Cops & Police, Crime & Punishment Humor, Emergency Calls, Emergency Line Limerick, Facebook Humor, Lion Humor, Policeman Verse, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Facebook Fanatics
Monday, July 14th, 2014
Limerick Ode To “Nude Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal likes to publicly doff
All her clothing, then pose to show off.
“It’s a strip search time-saver
I did you a favor,”
When jailed, she’ll transparently scoff.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Clothing Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, International Nude Day, July Holidays, Law Humor, Legal Limerick, Naked Limerick, National Nude Day, Nude Day, Nude Humor, Odd Holidays, World Nude Day
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Fashion Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy “Nude Day!” (July 14)
Friday, June 27th, 2014
Okay, this isn’t a major holiday, but still…
Happy Birthday To “Happy Birthday” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Happy Birthday To You” has a birthday.
Yes, today is its notable mirth day.
But “Good Morning To All”
Was its lyric. Don’t bawl!
I’ll concede it’s less key than, say, “Earth Day.”
The song “Happy Birthday To You” has a strange and complicated history. Its melody was first published on June 27, 1893 as “Good Morning to All,” with lyrics that have nothing to do with birthdays. And its copyright ownership has been the subject of numerous lawsuits. Despite its advanced age, it somehow remains under copyright protection.
Tags: Birthdays, Copyright, Good Morning To You, Happy Birthday Song, June Holidays, Law Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays, Song Lyrics
Posted in Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy Birthday To “Happy Birthday” (Limerick)
Friday, June 6th, 2014
A Rhyme To The Wise (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A scrappy young felon liked rhyme,
So he promised himself — no more crime.
He’d instead be a rapper.
But here is the capper:
His “confessional tunes” got him time.
So limerick writers, take heed.
Your rhymes may be next. They could feed
A detective’s suspicions,
Who deems them admissions.
Then indictment — your verse his first lead.
Note: Legal experts are currently debating the surprisingly widespread use of rap lyrics in criminal cases.
Tags: Crime & Punishment Humor, Law Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, May 1st, 2014
May 1st is Law Day, which means I’m legally required to write a limerick:
Limerick Ode To Law Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A day meant to celebrate law
Sounds just lovely, except for this flaw:
Fair play takes some doing;
It’s tough as pursuing
A needle in large stacks of straw.
Tags: Fair Play, Judiciary Humor, Law Day, Law Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, May Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy “Law Day” (Limerick)
Thursday, April 17th, 2014
Happy “Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day!” Yes there’s really such a day, though I’m pretty sure this isn’t what they’re talking about:
Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man with a habit of peeping
Into homes while their owners are sleeping
Was arrested and tried.
His appeal’s been denied.
Now he’s jailed for his neighbors’ safekeeping.
Tags: April Holidays, Crime, Criminals, Jail & Prison Humor, Neighborly Humor, Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day, Odd Holidays, Peeping Toms
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, House & Home Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Neighbors Humor, Obsessions Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Nosy Neighbor Appreciation Day (Limerick)
Thursday, April 10th, 2014
Blame Game (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A guy who was rather a stoner
Was pulled over and uttered this groaner:
“That jalopy was stole
“By me, so this bowl
“Of hash must belong to the owner.”
Note from Mad Kane: My limerick was inspired by this news headline: That’s not my pot; I stole the car, says Jay man.
Tags: Car & Driving Humor, Car Theft, Crime & Punishment Humor, Drug Humor, Grass, Law Enforcement, Legal Limerick, Marijuana, Stupid Criminals
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Car & Driving Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Blame Game (Limerick)
