“Stop the punning! I’m begging you, hon.
It’s not normal to constantly pun.
You’re driving me nuts!
No ifs, ands, or buts!”
The rejoinder: “Butt out, or we’re done!”
Archive for the ‘Language Humor’ Category
Undone By Punning? (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 15th, 2024The Pros(e) And Cons Of English (Limerick)
Sunday, March 31st, 2024Written English is often bemusing
And it’s frequently downright confusing.
But it can be the source
Of fun wordplay, of course…
When my lazy-ass muse isn’t snoozing.
Anyone Else Have This Problem? (Limerick)
Monday, March 25th, 2024Ev’ry day, I attempt to learn words.
But my tries are, alas, for the birds,
Cuz each word I accrue
Makes my aging brain spew
At least two, thrust aside much like turds.
Just In Time For French Language Day (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 20th, 2024At one time, I spoke French rather well,
But my French-speaking skill’s gone to hell.
They say “use it, or lose it.”
(In my case, abuse it.)
Mon français n’est ni joli ni belle.
French Language Day is celebrated annually on March 20th.
I’m Always Game To Play Word Games (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 19th, 2023Sundry word games are making me daft.
I pretend they’re improving my craft.
But I’ll play till I drop,
Though I know I should stop.
Now I’m drowning. Don’t laugh! Where’s my raft?
(Games Day falls each year on December 20th.)
A Maddening Phrase (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 19th, 2023“Let’s circle back later,” they say.
That phrase tries my patience, so NAY!
It’s a roundabout ploy
To evade and annoy…
Plus I’m dizzy. The answer’s NO WAY!
Dickering Over Dining (Limerick)
Saturday, December 16th, 2023“Let’s not eat here,” said Brad. “It’s for nerds.
And I’ve heard that the food tastes like turds.”
But Brad’s meal-mate insisted
And raved: “Can’t resist it!”
Brad ended up eating his words.
Naysayer Ray (Limerick)
Friday, December 1st, 2023“Do I eat like a horse? Nay,” said Ray.
“So stop saying I do, right away!
I stand falsely accused
And feel bruised, yet amused,
For the truth is I never touch hay!”
A Senseless Term (Limerick)
Saturday, November 4th, 2023“Common sense” is alarmingly rare;
Few folks have a sensible flair.
So the term makes no sense;
A misnomer immense!
“Common denseness” prevails, so beware!
(Use Your Common Sense Day is celebrated on November 4th.)
Celebrate Cliché Day? No way!
Friday, November 3rd, 2023I’m compelled to condemn the cliché.
When I hear one, I’m rubbed the wrong way,
Also irked and annoyed.
They are best to avoid
Like the plague … at the end of the day.
(Cliché Day is always observed on November 3rd.)
“JARGOGLE” Giggles (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 30th, 2023My mind is a jumble, confused
Because “jargogle’s” no longer used.
When a word’s fun to say,
It should NOT go away.
Its abandonment can’t be excused!
(JARGOGLE: An obsolete word that means to confuse, jumble, mix up.)
Haiku for “Big Word Day”
Friday, April 21st, 2023 Applaud or compose
Sesquipedalian prose?
Today is YOUR day.
Happy “Big Word Day!” (April 21)
Pardon My French! (Limerick)
Monday, March 20th, 2023I used to speak French fairly well,
But my accent is no longer belle,
And my “je ne sais quoi”
Is reduced to a blah.
(That damn phrase is a struggle to spell!)
(Happy UN French Language Day! — March 20)
Puzzling Limerick
Sunday, January 29th, 2023It’s “National Puzzle Day,” which gives me a good excuse to post this limerick:
I never play Wordle in “hard mode.”
It feels like a feathered and tarred mode.
I would rather control
All my moves, on the whole.
It’s too bad they don’t offer a “bard mode.”
More Life With Mark And Madeleine
Tuesday, January 10th, 2023Happy “Word Nerd Day!” (Limerick)
Monday, January 9th, 2023It’s “National Word Nerd Day.” Yay!
I’m a “word nerd.” It’s true. Ev’ry day
I try to learn new words,
Recalling but few words;
In my brain they’re reluctant to stay.
More “NYT Spelling Bee” Blues (Limerick)
Monday, October 24th, 2022Dear Bee, though I hate to complain,
Your word list is clearly insane.
How dare you exclude
“Trayf” and “ranty!” That’s rude!
And no “tarty?” You’re taunting my brain!
“NYT Spelling Bee” Blues (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 19th, 2022I’ve been bilked once again by the Bee.
It rejects kosher entries with glee.
My claim’s not debatable:
Spurning “deflatable”
Violates fairness! (Says Me!)
It’s “National Dictionary Day!” (Limerick)
Sunday, October 16th, 2022It’s “National Dictionary Day,” which gives me a good excuse to post a limerick about another new-to-me term: “Dawn Chorus.”
(For the record, all the names have been changed to protect the guilty.)
“Let’s go back to that lovely ‘Fowl Inn,’”
Said my spouse, quite forgetting its din.
’Twas no use telling Boris
(A bull-headed Taurus)
That its dawn chorus drove us to gin.
*****
Happy birthday to American lexicographer Noah Webster, of dictionary compilation fame. He was born October 16, 1758.
Mnemonic Nightmare (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 11th, 2022“Nemonic” is tricky to spell,
And my efforts to spell it: Pell-mell!
Since my problem is chronic.
I’ve tried a “kneemonic,”
Which hurls me to memory hell.
