When I’m asked, “What’s your least fav invention?”
I waver: “Too many to mention!”
But when pressed, I select
The stiletto; feet wrecked
By the score just for leggy extension!
(National High Heels Day is celebrated on May 20.)
Archive for the ‘Inventions Humor’ Category
What Heel Invented Stilettos? (Limerick)
Sunday, September 3rd, 2023Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DEEDS or MISDEEDS) at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 14, 2022)
Saturday, April 30th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DEEDS or MISDEEDS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to INVENTIONS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best INVENTION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 15, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 14, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DEEDS or MISDEEDS-rhyme limerick:
A bomber (uncaught) is aghast:
He’d been certain his freedom would last.
But some fresh cold-case leads
To his evil misdeeds
Mean a trial for a blast from the past.
And here’s my INVENTIONS-themed limerick:
When informed his design was unsound,
An inventor’s distress was profound:
“The unfairness is blatant!
Their bias is patent!
My grinder has broken new ground!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Celebrating Sax (Limerick)
Saturday, November 6th, 2021Happy “Sax Day!” And happy birthday to Adolphe Sax, its inventor! (November 6)
A horny musician named Phil
When flirting would trumpet his skill.
But he mispronounced “sax,”
The name of his ax,
So his chance of romance went downhill.
My Patently Great Husband (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 29th, 2021Congratulations to my wonderful husband Mark Kane, who’s now officially an “inventor” of a software patent, according to the U.S. Patent And Trademark Office:
My best friend and my love and my center!
(Sometimes mentor, but never tormentor)
Always good for a lark;
That’s my PATENTED Mark,
Who’s officially now an inventor.
Limerick Ode To World Laboratory Day
Monday, April 23rd, 2018Happy World Laboratory Day! (April 23)
A fellow who worked in a lab
Helped discover a cure rather fab.
But alas he was bought;
He blabbed and got caught.
Now his body’s laid out on a slab.
Dare I Praise Plastic? (Limerick)
Saturday, April 21st, 2018Isn’t plastic a nifty invention?
It has too many uses to mention.
Though a handy synthetic,
It’s also cosmetic,
Which explains why it’s still in ascension.
Note: But please RECYCLE!
Brushing Up On Your Holidays
Wednesday, February 24th, 2016This holiday surely has bite.
People honor it night after night
And each morning, I hope;
At least those who use soap
Should adore “Nylon Toothbrush Day,” right?
Nylon Toothbrush Day is celebrated on February 24th because on February 24, 1938, the first nylon bristle toothbrush, manufactured by DuPont under the name “Dr. West’s Miracle Toothbrush,” went on sale.
Happy Innovation Day (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 16th, 2016Innovation does rate an ovation,
But from change I request a vacation.
So much newness unending
Is stressful, mind-bending.
For salvation I crave a cessation.
Happy National Innovation Day. (February 16).
Happy Scotch Tape Day (January 31)
Sunday, January 31st, 2016Though my mem’ry’s, alas, on the wane,
Here’s a day that should stick to my brain:
It’s for Richard G. Drew.
He did NOT invent glue,
But our bond with his Scotch Tape shall reign.
Happy Scotch Tape Day!
Limerick Ode To Drinking Straw Day (Jan. 3)
Saturday, January 2nd, 2016Few inventions inspire my awe,
But I’m rather impressed with the straw.
Sucking liquid through tubes
Is suggestive of lubes…
Although straw men still stick in my craw.
(National Drinking Straw Day is celebrated on January 3, in honor of Marvin Stone’s January 3, 1888 patent.)
Limerick Ode To Galileo’s Telescope
Thursday, December 3rd, 2015A celebratory limerick for Telescope Day.
Galileo perfected in spades
The magnificent gadget that aids
Us in viewing the stars
And the planets, like Mars.
Of course, NOW we need curtains and shades.
Limerick Ode To The Pencil Sharpener (3-Verse)
Monday, November 23rd, 2015Did anyone else love sharpening pencils as a child? I was reminded of this favorite ritual of mine, when I learned that today’s the anniversary of John Lee Love’s small, portable “Love Sharpener” patent.
Limerick Ode To The Pencil Sharpener
By Madeleine Begun Kane
As a youngster, I’d take much delight
In my writing tools, shiny and bright.
This is how I’d begin:
I’d stick pencils within
A small sharp’ner, my point-making rite.
How I’d rotate each pencil and stare
At its shavings, while taking great care.
And here’s what I’d ask
In my ritual task:
“Please pencil, don’t break. Don’t you dare!”
Cuz turning too much takes its toll
When the pointiest point is your goal.
But I learned over time:
Pencil points quite sublime
Can be Lovingly carved in that hole.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TRUST at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
Sunday, June 14th, 2015It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using TRUST at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A woman could no longer trust
Her domestic to vacuum or dust.
Yet she did come in handy;
When hubby was randy,
The maid took good care of his lust.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: June 8 is Vacuum Cleaner Day, in honor of Ives W. McGaffey’s June 8, 1869 U.S. patent for the suction vacuum cleaner.
Not Panting To Wear Jeans (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 20th, 2015I find jeans to be patently uncomfortable. But I’m dutifully celebrating the birthday of its patent — granted to Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis on May 20th, 1873:
Call them denims or jeans — I don’t care–
That’s one garment I simply won’t wear.
I don’t buy the appeal
Of its look or its feel,
And I’d rather go naked. Don’t stare!
*****
National Blue Jeans Day falls on December 5th.
Limerick Ode to the Zipper (National Zipper Day: April 29)
Wednesday, April 29th, 2015Limerick Ode to the Zipper (Zipper Day: April 29)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’ll bet Gideon Sundback felt chipper
When designing the modern-day zipper–
An invention surpassin’
The old ways to fasten…
And a slick trick to hook a big tipper.
Elephant Dung Coffee Beans? I’ll Pass! (Limerick)
Thursday, August 21st, 2014Elephant Dung Coffee Beans? I’ll Pass! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This brew concept’s hard to digest.
It’s a crappy plan — far from the best:
Amp up elephant mash
With coffee beans. Rash?
Grab a stool and retrieve. Have a fest!
*****
Yes, Canadian entrepreneur Blake Dinkin produces Black Ivory Coffee in Thailand’s “Golden Triangle” via elephant dung. Of course his website describes it rather more genteelly as “Naturally refined by elephants and made from 100% Thai Arabica coffee beans.”
*****
I previously wrote about Chinese panda-dung giftware on my other blog.
Smarting from “Smart Shoes” (Limerick)
Monday, August 4th, 2014Do we really need “smart shoes” that will vibrate us in the right direction using Google Maps? Ducere Technologies thinks so.
Smarting from “Smart Shoes” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear shoemakers, please have a heart.
I do NOT want my shoes to be smart.
I just want them to feel
(both my sole and my heel)
Like they’re not out for blood from the start.
Genius? Or Half-Baked? (Limerick)
Saturday, July 19th, 2014Harvard students cook up another great idea: cake from a can.
Genius? Or Half-Baked? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Kindly can any concept of cake
That you spray from a can and then bake.
Though I’m loath to be curt,
I’ll desert a dessert
That spews forth from a can. Won’t partake!
