Archive for the ‘Insect Humor’ Category
Saturday, April 6th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TACK or ATTACK at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ANNOYANCES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ANNOYANCE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
FALL, FREAKY, GLAMOROUS, LONGER, POINTLESS.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa, and use any other variant of the random words. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 5, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 4, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my TACK or ATTACK-Rhyme Limerick:
In the summer, mosquitoes attack.
(Seems my blood, alas, makes a good snack.)
They hang out in our yard,
Hungry, always on guard
For their “meal” to take one step out back.
And here’s my ANNOYANCE-Themed Limerick:
My enjoyment of scat singing’s scant.
I’m averse to Gregorian Chant.
Bagpipe bands drive me mad!
Vuvuzelas are BAD!
This concludes my unmusical rant.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
An ambitious young woman named Kyle
Found her trend-setting efforts a trial.
One fall evening, she freaked
When this fashion news leaked:
Her new gown was no longer in style.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off Post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bagpipe Humor, Bagpipe Limericks, Competition Limerick, Gregorian Chant, Insect Humor, Insect Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Mosquitoes, Music Humor, Music Limerick, Noise Humor, Noise Limerick Scat Humor, Outdoors Humor, Outdoors Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Seasonal Verse, Vuvuzelas, Writing Prompts, Yard Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Contests, Fashion Humor, Insect Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Seasons Humor, Trends Humor | 105 Comments »
Tuesday, April 25th, 2023
“I’ll get rid of that wasp nest. I’m on it!”
Said a man who was writing a sonnet.
“But you’re being a pest!
My verse has me stressed,
And I’m sick of that bee in your bonnet.”
Tags: Chores Humor, Chores Limerick, Idiom Limericks, Idioms Humor, Insect Humor, Insect Limericks, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Wasps
Posted in Chores Humor, Insect Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Marital Squabble (Limerick)
Saturday, April 15th, 2023
For an upcoming interview, I was asked why I hadn’t written any acrostic limericks since 2015. The question surprised me, because I was certain this couldn’t be true. As it turns out, I’ve written quite a few since then, but never got around to posting them on this blog. For instance, here’s a quartet of acrostic limericks I wrote in 2019 for a contest, but forgot (until now) to post on my blog:
I’m alarmed when mosquitoes come near.
They adore me, I fear. Ev’ry year,
Come what may, I get bitten.
How come? Cuz they’re smitten.
Yes, THAT’S why I’m scratching my rear.
An acrostical challenge in verse
Leads this poet to mutter and curse;
Penning lines so constrained
Has my mind frazzled, pained,
As each version, perversely, is worse.
Anxiety’s cloud, oh so dense;
Neurosis can make you feel tense.
Getting out of your chair
(Somehow going somewhere)
Tends to help, so let healing commence.
How I love to draw laughs or a smile,
Using lim’ricks to banish the bile
Many people amass.
Only wit helps it pass;
Rhymed verse … for when life’s feeling vile.
Tags: Acrostic Limerick, Acrostic Poems, Acrostic Poetry Challenge, Acrostics Poems, Angst, Anxiety Humor, Anxiety Limerick, Insects, Limerick Writing Humor, Mosquito Humor, Mosquitoes, Stress Humor, Stress Limerick
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Acrostic Madness, Acrostic Poetry Prompts, Anxiety & Stress, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Insect Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, July 11th, 2022
Wherever I go (or I’ve been)
Bugs attack me, ignoring my kin.
I scratch and I itch
And I can’t help but bitch…
Cuz mosquitoes get under my skin!
Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.
Tags: August Holidays, Bug Humor, Bug Limerick, Bugs, Husband and Wife Humor, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limericks, Insect and Bug Humor, Insect Bites, Insect Humor, Insect Limerick, Insects, Mosquito Humor, Mosquitoes, Odd Holidays, Outdoors, Summer Gripes, Summer Humor, World Mosquito Day
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Insect Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Relationship Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | Comments Off on Still Bugged By Mosquitoes (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 8th, 2022
Said a gal, “Please attend to that fly.”
So her husband looked down to comply.
“But it’s zipped,” he said, bugged.
(Nothing moved when he tugged.)
“You blew it. It flew in my eye.”
(On June 8, Canadians celebrate National Insect Appreciation Day — NAIAD.)
Tags: Bug Humor, Bug Limerick, Communication Humor, Fly Humor, Fly Limerick, Insect Appreciation Day, Insect Humor, Insect Limerick, June Holidays, Marriage Humor, NAIAD, Odd Holidays
Posted in Communication Humor, Insect Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 9th, 2022
If only I were making this story up: Headline: “Giant spiders expected to drop from sky across the East Coast this spring”
“Giant spiders,” East Coast-bound, this spring;
Using parachute-webs, down they’ll swing.
“Invasive,” yet “harmless?”
I’m far from alarmless
O’er spider hordes — beasts on the wing.
Tags: East Coast, Giant Spiders, Invasive Spiders, Japan, Joro Spiders, Jorōgumo, Science Limerick, Seasonal Limerick, Spider Invasion, Spring Humor, Spring Limerick
Posted in Insect Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Science Humor, Seasons Humor | Comments Off on Something ELSE To Worry About (Limerick)
Saturday, October 30th, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using LEAK or LEEK at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COMPLAINTS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COMPLAINTS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on November 14, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 13, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my LEAK/LEEK-rhyme limerick:
I encountered a hedgehog last week;
While it hogged our back hedge, caught a peek.
As it foraged and grunted,
For insects it hunted.
I was pleased … till it munched on my leek.
And here’s my COMPLAINTS-themed limerick:
A woman who loved to complain,
Spouting grievances rather inane,
Would quibble and moan,
Making co-workers groan.
Her latest gripe? Jobless again!
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Limerick, Co-Workers Humor, Co-Workers Limerick, Competition Limerick, Complaint Humor, Complaint Limerick, Gripes Limerick, Hedgehog Humor, Hedgehog Limerick, Insect Humor, Insect Limerick, Leeks Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Vegetable Humor, Vegetable Limerick, Vegetation Humor, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Insect Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Workplace & Career Humor | 179 Comments »
Saturday, October 9th, 2021
Please forgive me: I can’t help but grouse;
A mosquito is loose in our house.
It doesn’t like Mark,
But bites ME on a lark:
Hellish welts from that blood-sucking louse!
Tags: Bug Humor, Bug Limerick, Insect and Bug Humor, Insect Bites, Insect Humor, Insect Limerick, Insects, Mosquito Humor, Mosquitoes
Posted in Insect Humor | Comments Off on Mosquito Misery (Limerick)
Tuesday, September 21st, 2021
A bee expert’s promised appointment
To be Dean di’n’t pan out — no anointment;
Some serious flaws
In his thesis, the cause…
And so that was the fly in the ointment.
Tags: Bee Humor, College Humor, College Limericks, Education & School Humor, Education Limerick, Entomology Humor, Entomology Limerick, Fly Humor, Insect and Bug Humor, Insect Humor, Insect Limerick, Insects
Posted in Education & School Humor, Insect Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Disappointing Limerick
Tuesday, February 23rd, 2016
While many admire the spider,
To be candid, I can not abide ’er.
When I spied ’er last night,
I eyed ’er with fright
And begged hubby to please outside guide ’er.
(March 14th is National Save A Spider Day.)
Tags: Arachnids, Husband Wife Limerick, Insect and Bug Humor, March Holidays, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Spider Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Insect Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Sunday, August 30th, 2015
Brace yourself! Tomorrow, August 31, is Eat Outside Day.
Although eating outside can be fun,
My enjoyment is quickly undone
By insects that join
To dine on one’s loin.
Just one bite, and I’ll bug out and run.
Tags: August Holidays, Eat Outside Day, Food Humor, Food Verse, Insect and Bug Humor, Insect Bites, Odd Holidays, Outdoor Activity Humor, Outdoors Humor, Picnic Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Insect Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor | Comments Off on A Limerick To Help You Celebrate “Eat Outside Day” (August 31)
Friday, July 18th, 2014
Bugged
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some insect made a sandwich
Of my knuckle, it appears.
My index finger hurts so much,
My eyes are raining tears.
I’m not sure what critter bit me.
Maybe wasp, mosquito, bee,
Or a literary critic–
“No more writing!” his decree.
Tags: Bee Humor, Fingers Humor, Insect and Bug Humor, Insect Bites, Insects, Mosquito Humor, Wasps, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Insect Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Bugged
Thursday, February 14th, 2013
Crawling With Gift Ideas (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s too late for a Valentine’s broach?
Need a holiday gift plan to poach?
Well, here’s something new
From the helpful Bronx Zoo:
Give your sweetie her name on a roach.
From the Bronx Zoo, a strange and limited Valentine’s Day Offer:
Can’t decide on what to get that special someone for Valentine’s Day? Sometimes the answer is all around us, and right where it’s been for millions of years—like cockroaches!
Naming a Madagascar hissing roach in honor of someone near and dear to your heart shows that you’ve noticed how resilient, resourceful, and loyal that person is. You’re not afraid to say, “Baby, you’re a roach!”
WCS’s Bronx Zoo has 58,000 of these brown, iridescent beauties, and most go humbly by “whatchamacallit.” With a $10 donation, you can name one for your sweetie, and send a truly unique certificate of honor.
Tags: Bronx Zoo, Cockroaches, February Holidays, Gift Giving Humor, Holiday Humor, Insect and Bug Humor, Madagascar Hissing Roach, Roaches Humor, Valentine Day's Humor
Posted in Gift Giving Humor, Holiday Humor, Insect Humor, Limericks | 9 Comments »
Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013
Warning: If you’re into energy bars, be sure to read the label before ingesting:
The latest energy bar on the market uses crickets as its protein source.
Living Earth natural food store in Worcester started selling Feed The Revolution bars around Christmas.
The crickets are raised in Utah and ground into a fine powder said to be high in protein…
Are Cricket Bars Cricket? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A bathroom-bound man felt sub-par
After eating an energy bar.
He exclaimed, “Sticky wicket!
I’ve just eaten cricket!
Insect protein is going too far!”
Tags: Bathroom Humor, Crickets, Energy Bars, Feed The Revolution, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Health Limericks, Insect and Bug Humor, Living Earth, Protein Sources, Utah
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Insect Humor, Limericks | 21 Comments »
Wednesday, June 6th, 2012
Poetic Asides prompts us to write poems about camping. As you can see, I’m not exactly a roughing-it kind of gal:
Camp-Free Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m reluctant to rough it outside.
I need comforts a house can provide.
I’m too timid to camp,
But at home I’m a champ
Where mosquitoes can’t feast on my hide.
Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.
Tags: August Holidays, Camping Humor, Creature Comforts, House & Home, Insect and Bug Humor, Insect Bites, Leisure Time Humor, Mosquito Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, World Mosquito Day
Posted in Behavior & Personality, House & Home Humor, Insect Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor | 3 Comments »
Monday, December 26th, 2011
This “torment your pet frog” video, which features an iPad screen depicting tasty-looking insects, reminded me of an old humor column of mine:
Bugged By Ads
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you saw what looked like an insect on your television screen, what weapon would you reach for? A wad of tissues, perhaps? Okay, let’s make the bug more menacing than your average house invader — let’s make it a cockroach.
I’m guessing you’d grab a sacrificial magazine, roll it up, and take a swing at the screen. A swing strong enough to demolish the roach (you hope), while leaving your TV set more or less intact.
I’m also guessing you’d avoid guaranteed glass shatterers like hammers, drills, and chain saws. And up till this very moment, I would have sworn that a motorcycle helmet would sit atop the no-no list. Apparently, I was wrong.
A Tampa, Florida woman actually threw a motorcycle helmet at a TV screen roach. Overkill? I’d say so. Especially when you consider that:
1. The helmet trashed her screen; and
2. Her TV screen was cockroach-free.
No, I’m not talking about an LSD-crazed youth doing battle with hallucinated insects. I’m talking about a grown and presumably sober person who (along with other TV viewers) was suckered by Orkin Pest Control’s all too realistic ad featuring an animated roach crawling across the screen.
Like many others who were taken in by Orkin’s ad campaign, this Tampa woman was determined to kill the roach. Unfortunately, the only thing she managed to kill was her television set.
End of story? Of course not. This happened in the USA where people, including our helmet-wielding woman, want to be compensated for their injuries.
Now I’m a recovering lawyer and I used to handle my share of civil … and uncivil … litigation. So you might ask me what I’d do if I were consulted by the owner of a TV set destroyed by a motorcycle helmet aimed at a nonexistent roach.
Being a cautious and thorough attorney, I’d carefully evaluate the case by asking questions like:
1. Your one-of-a-kind, irreplaceable helmet was badly dented, right?
2. Have you had full body x-rays to check for internal TV screen glass shards?
3. How’s the helmet flinging-induced carpal tunnel syndrome progressing?
4. Why aren’t you seeking treatment for your extremely painful ducking to avoid glass-induced whiplash?
Orkin doesn’t appear to be worried about litigation. In fact, Orkin’s treating the whole matter with a sense of humor. It even ran an Orkin “Got Me” drawing at its (Orkin.com) Web site, asking viewers to describe (by April 30th) how its “fake out” cockroach crawling across the screen ad campaign “got” them. According to the submission information, “ALL ENTRANTS will be placed in a random drawing for a BRAND NEW TELEVISION.”
I was planning to email an entry myself, but I had a bit of a mishap: The roach that adorns Orkin’s submit button looked so real, I threw my shoe at it and broke my computer screen.
Tags: Advertising Humor, Frogs Humor, Insect and Bug Humor, Insects, iPad Aps, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Litigation Humor, Marketing Humor, Orkin Pest Control, Roaches Humor, Video Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Insect Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Marketing Humor | 3 Comments »
Monday, April 25th, 2011
First off, this limerick (despite its name) has nothing to do with macaroni. I’m not suffering from Passover pasta-withdrawal. Nor do my dreams (or nightmares) ever feature anything of a noodle nature.
So why the title? I just learned, from the delightfully informative Miss Rumphius, about the rare and usually comic form called macaronic verse. What the heck is macaronic verse? We’re told that it’s a usually absurd and nonsensical “poem in a mixture of two languages, one of them preferably Latin,” and that “the poet usually subjects one language to the grammatical laws of another to make people laugh.”
So naturally I had to try it, mixing legal terms (mostly Latin) in with standard limerick English:
Macaronic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The corpus is AWOL. Oh my!
I attest that I left it hereby.
What a bona fide mess.
My mentis has stress.
It’s de facto I mortemed that fly.
(Linked at We Write Poems pairings prompt.)
Tags: April Holidays, Insect and Bug Humor, Jewish Holidays, Law Humor, Legal Jargon, Legal Limerick, Light Verse, Macaronic Verse, Passover, Poetry Forms, Stress Humor
Posted in Holiday Humor, Insect Humor, Light Verse, Limericks, Macaronic Verse, Poetry Forms, Poetry Rules | 32 Comments »
Friday, April 8th, 2011
After my first fun foray into acrostic limericks, I just had to try another:
Itching For Another Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bemoaning her red, itchy bites,
Undone by her sleep-deprived nights,
Gabrielle said, “No more!
Going out to the store.
You mosquitoes have earned your last rites.”
(More bug related poems here.)
Update: A case of insect revenge? Right after posting this, I noticed that my left foot was itchy and discovered my first mosquito bite of the season.
Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.
Tags: Acrostic Poems, August Holidays, Bug Limerick, Insect and Bug Humor, Insect Bites, Odd Holidays, World Mosquito Day
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Health & Medical Humor, Insect Humor, Light Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Sleep & Insomnia Humor | 13 Comments »
Sunday, July 13th, 2008
Bugged
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mosquitoes are on the attack.
They have bitten my arms and my back.
You may call ’em God’s creatures —
These venomous leechers —
I’m tired of being their snack.
(I’ve been bugged by mosquitoes before.)
(Inspired by Manic Monday’s “bug.”)
Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.
Tags: August Holidays, Bug Limerick, Insect Bites, Mosquito Humor, Odd Holidays, World Mosquito Day
Posted in Insect Humor, Linky Love, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Seasons Humor | 4 Comments »
Thursday, September 27th, 2007
Do you want to lose weight? Then I recommend that you watch Gordon Ramsay’s new Fox show Kitchen Nightmares during dinner. As the good Gordon might (and often does) say, “Oh my God!”
Now my husband Mark and I are fans of Ramsay’s other show Hell’s Kitchen. But other than the presence of Ramsay himself, everything that makes Hell’s Kitchen so much fun — the competition among chefs whom you get to know and root for throughout the season — is missing from Kitchen Nightmares. What’s left (at least in episode 1) is numerous nausea-inducing scenes featuring rancid food and roughly gazillion roaches and flies.
Of course, by the end of the show Ramsay and his team of miracle workers turn the dive-of-the-week into a restaurant you wouldn’t be afraid to dine in.
What I can’t figure out is what the Manhattan restaurant featured in week 1 (Indian restaurant Dillons, reborn as Purnima) was doing in business before the makeover. Doesn’t New York City have restaurant inspectors? I sure hope so, because that’s where I live.
And now it’s time for a limerick:
Restaurant Nightmare
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I must flee this buffet. Please, let’s go.
A mouse just ran by and … oh no!
I spotted a roach
As it tried to encroach
On my sole. What’s that thing on your toe?
(You can find more of my food humor here and more of my media humor here.)
Tags: Dining Out Humor, Flies, Fox Television, Gordon Ramsay, Hell's Kitchen, Insects, Kitchen Nightmares, Media Humor, New York City Restaurant, Restaurant Inspection, Roaches, TV Humor, Weight Loss Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Insect Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Television (TV) Humor | 5 Comments »
