“I warned you: That lotion’s been banned,
And your skin is too pale to get tanned.
No beach, I beseech you!
But words never reach you.
You bury your head in the sand.”
Archive for the ‘Idiom Humor’ Category
Fun In The Sun? (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 31st, 2021Breathless Gossip (Limerick)
Monday, August 30th, 2021“Here’s some gossip I’ve only just heard:
Jane’s engaged to a writerly nerd,
Who’s a Scrabble fanatic
And rather asthmatic.
It’s a secret, so don’t breathe a word.”
An Idiom To Chew On (Limerick)
Saturday, August 28th, 2021A French restaurant, once upper crust,
Got a rotten review and went bust:
“Their food can’t be chewed,”
Wrote the prominent dude.
Two weeks later, the place bit the dust.
Checkmate? (Limerick)
Friday, August 27th, 2021“Your payments have fallen behind.
Where’s my money?” the contractor whined.
“Our deal’s ‘a blank check’
To rebuild your wrecked deck.”
The reply: “Yes, that’s why it’s unsigned.”
End This Idiom! (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 25th, 2021There’s an idiom many despise.
Some believe it’s a prelude to lies.
Those who use it to sound
Smart and lofty abound.
At the end of the day, it’s unwise.
The Last Word In Limericks?
Saturday, August 14th, 2021Believe it or not, when I started writing this, I wasn’t thinking about the person you all think I was thinking about. (I was just trying to use my line 5 idiom in a limerick.)
I wondered why people deferred
To a fellow who’s coarse and absurd.
Well I’ve fin’ly learned why
They fawn over the guy:
He’s rich; hence he gets the last word.
Redundant Limerick
Saturday, August 14th, 2021Redundancy’s dull and dismaying,
And my patience for nonsense is fraying,
So I tend to turn red
At things best left unsaid,
Such as statements that “go without saying.”
Out On A Limb (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 10th, 2021Once again, I was out on a limb.
I had climbed up a tree on a whim.
(A literal beech;
Not a figure of speech.)
Was safety in reach? Chances slim.
(Note: Even back when I was young, spry, and had good, functioning knee joints, I never climbed trees.)
On The Ropes (Limerick)
Monday, August 9th, 2021Sometimes, when my limerick inspiration is “on the ropes,” I’ll start with a random idiom. (In this case, my initial first line involved a “clothing boutique.” But when I thought of the last line, I changed the type of store for obvious reasons.)
With her laundromat shop on the ropes,
She was suff’ring a case of the mopes.
How she yearned to earn more!
And the plight of her store
Had reduced her to watching the soaps.
Computer Confusion (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2021A fellow, when told to reboot,
Was bewildered; this didn’t compute.
It was clear from his face,
As he bent to unlace,
That technology’s NOT his strong suit.
More Fun With Idioms (Limerick)
Monday, August 2nd, 2021When someone’s depicted as “poor
As a church mouse,” I want to know more:
Are mice in a church
Always left in the lurch?
And if so, why not forage next door?
Why I Love The French (Limerick)
Sunday, July 25th, 2021Want a gibe that sounds charming? Don’t fret!
French phrases can help you — no sweat!
If the java tastes vile,
Simply bitch with a smile:
“This coffee is ‘jus de chaussette.'”
(I was amused to learn that the literal translation of “jus de chaussette” is “sock juice.”)
Go With The Flow? It’s A No! (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 30th, 2015Go With The Flow? It’s A No! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I rarely just go with the flow.
My temper’ment makes me say “no”
To the trends that prevail.
I’ve an impulse to rail,
So I won’t hold my water. No go!
Limerick Dry Run (The Evolution of a Limerick)
Thursday, November 14th, 2013When I’m looking for limerick ideas, I sometimes visit idiom list sites, like this one. Then I’ll select an idiom that might work meter-wise and that ends with a common rhyme sound.
And so today, I challenged myself to write a limerick that contains the phrase “dry run.” Unconsciously inspired, perhaps, by the inept roll-out of Obamacare, I wrote these two lines:
A software firm held a dry run
But the coding, alas, wasn’t done…
I swiftly thought up an acceptable “B-rhyme,” but then got stuck at line 5. The best I could come up with was an ending that employed yet another idiom: “under the gun.” But I still couldn’t think of a line 5 that was even slightly clever.
And then I got an idea: create some wordplay by revising another line, adding specificity to the subject matter. Here’s the result:
Limerick Dry Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A software firm held a dry run,
But the arms-tracking code wasn’t done.
It failed test after test,
Till the owner confessed:
“I’m too stressed to work under the gun.”
Happy “Idiom Idiocy Day”
Thursday, April 18th, 2013I’ll bet you didn’t know that April 18th is Idiom Idiocy Day. How do you celebrate it? By using idioms amusingly in verse, jokes, or short prose.
Limerick Ode To Idiom Idiocy Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was biding his time
And refusing to get off the dime.
He was dragging his feet
And could not take the heat.
His idiom use? It’s a crime!
Author’s Note: Idiom Idiocy Day is a brand new annual holiday established by none other than MOI. Why? Because it doesn’t exist, and it NEEDS to.
