Archive for the ‘Idiom Humor’ Category
Wednesday, April 6th, 2022
A marathon runner named Ace
Loved to brag about every damn race.
His long-winded tales
Would induce plaintive wails:
“Stop meandering. Cut to the chase!”
Tags: Bragging Humor, Bragging Limerick, Competitive Humor, Competitive Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Marathon Humor, Marathon Limerick, Running Humor, Running Limerick, Talkative Limerick, Talkativeness
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Exercise Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor | Comments Off on Long-Winded Limerick
Tuesday, April 5th, 2022
Her boyfriend insists that she’s “jerky”
For falling for health warnings “murky.”
He has coaxed and opined,
But he can’t change her mind:
She’s swearing off poultry “cold turkey.”
Tags: Chicken Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Diet Humor, Diet Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Poultry Humor, Poultry Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on A Healthy Disagreement (Limerick)
Monday, April 4th, 2022
To cross ev’ry “T” ain’t just fine;
It’s required — not merely benign.
But by crossing a “U,”
You have set it askew…
And in fact you are crossing the line.
Tags: Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Writing & Publishing Humor, Writing Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on More Idiom Idiocy (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2022
A man did his best to disguise
His retinal issues with lies.
When at last he sought ocular
Aid, he was jocular:
“Doc, you’re a sight for sore eyes!”
(March 23 is World Optometry Day.)
Tags: Eye Humor, Eye Limerick, Eyes Humor, Eyes Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Optometrist, Optometry Day, Optometry Humor, Optometry Limerick, Patients Humor, Patients Limerick, Vision Humor, Vision Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Vision Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, March 21st, 2022
This is what happens when I play with idioms:
“Your home sale is under suspension,”
Read the notice, provoking dissension.
“Human bones have been found
In your yard, underground,
And those bones are the bone of contention.”
Tags: Bones Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Home Humor, Home Limerick, House Humor, House Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Real Estate Humor, Real Estate Limerick
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Crime & Punishment Humor, House & Home Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Real Estate Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, January 25th, 2022
Disclaimer: No animals were harmed in the making of this limerick:
The wind is impressive today.
While walking, it’s hard not to sway.
By its force I’m bowled over,
And so is poor Rover.
Truth be told, we are both blown away.
Tags: Animals and Pet Humor, Dog Humor, Dog Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Walking Humor, Walking Limerick, Weather Humor, Weather Limerick, Wind Humor, Wind Limerick
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Idiom Humor, Walking Humor, Weather Humor | Comments Off on Windy Walk (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 18th, 2022
A talkative tailor named Chip
Dished the dirt at a spirited clip.
Some patrons with clout
Got the babbler bawled out;
He was ordered to “button his lip.”
Tags: Clothing Humor, Communication Humor, Gossip Humor, Gossip Limerick, Idiom Humor, Tailor Humor, Tailor Limerick, Talkativeness
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Blathering Limerick
Wednesday, December 15th, 2021
“Oh my goodness, my gosh, and my heavens,”
Said a fellow who called himself Evans.
He repeated this twice,
As he juggled some dice,
Adding “Yikes! I’m at sixes and sevens.”
Tags: Confusion Humor, Confusion Limerick, Dice Humor, Dice Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Numbers Humor, Numbers Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Idiom Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick Confusion
Wednesday, December 15th, 2021
We were packed and all ready to jet
To a beachfront resort, when “Not yet,”
Said my wife. “I must go
Get my hair curled by Flo.”
Hours later: “Let’s leave. I’m all set.”
(For the record, I don’t have a wife. But I do have a procrastinating husband with no concept of time.)
Tags: Delays Humor, Delays Limerick, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Time Humor, Time Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick, Vacation Humor, Vacation Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Holiday Humor, Idiom Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Procrastination Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Time Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Vacation Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Exit Interruptus
Monday, November 22nd, 2021
The driver made such a loud fuss
Over new jitney wages, each cuss
As he bitched about pay
Could be heard blocks away…
So the man was thrown under the bus.
Tags: Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Bus Driver Humor, Bus Driver Limerick, Bus Humor, Bus Limerick, Complaint Humor, Complaint Limerick, Cursing Humor, Cursing Limerick, Employment Humor, Employment Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Jitney Humor, Jitney Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Pay Humor, Pay Limerick, Transportation Humor, Transportation Limerick, Travel Humor, Travel Limerick, Wage Humor, Wage Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Transportation Humor, Travel Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Wage Madness (Limerick)
Saturday, November 20th, 2021
“Wet clothes in the hamper? That’s foul!”
Said a gal to her spouse, with a scowl.
“What is wrong with you men!?
If you do it again,
I’ll divorce you and throw in the towel.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Clothes Humor, Clothes Limerick, Clothing Limerick, Cothing Humor, Divorce Humor, Divorce Limerick, Hamper Humor, Hamper Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Laundry Humor, Laundry Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick, Relatives Humor, Relatives Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on A Hampered Relationship (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 17th, 2021
An angry, sardonic young bloke
Lost his job and was utterly broke.
He tried standup, but failed
To get laughs, so he bailed.
Yelled the ‘comic,’ “You can’t take a joke!”
Tags: Comedians, Comics, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Joke Humor, Joke Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Idiom Humor | Comments Off on A Sardonic Bloke (Limerick)
Thursday, November 11th, 2021
A pissed patron returned to Pierre’s
And demanded free haircut repairs:
“Your stylist destroyed
My look. Fire Floyd!”
The reply? “Kindly stop splitting hairs.”
(Hairstylist Appreciation Day is April 25, and National Hair Day is October 1.)
Tags: April Holidays, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Haircut Humor, Haircut Limerick, Hairstyle Appreciation Day, Hairstylist Appreciation Day, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, National Hair Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Idiom Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Yet Another Hairy Limerick
Wednesday, November 10th, 2021
Happy Bong Day! (November 10)
A singer who longed for a bong
(Though it’s bad for her voice and so wrong)
Called a seller she knew.
They met up at the zoo,
Where a bongload was bought for a song.
Tags: Bong Day, Bong Humor, Grass Humor, Grass Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Marijuana Humor, Marijuana Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Singer Humor, Singer Limerick, Singers
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Longing For A Bong (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 9th, 2021
The restaurateur was irate
Cuz his chef was, as usual, late.
“You must clean up your act,
Or expect to be sacked.
It’s time you step up to the plate!”
Tags: Boss Humor, Boss Limerick, Chef Humor, Chef Limerick, Cooking Humor, Cooking Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Job Loss Humor, Job Loss Limerick, Lateness Humor, Lateness Limerick, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on The Shiftless Chef (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 2nd, 2021
Bought a grandfather clock — famous brand.
(It is lauded throughout our great land.)
But the time it displays
Has been faulty for days.
That’s the last time I buy secondhand.
Tags: Clock Humor, Clock Limerick, Grandfather Clock, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Secondhand Humor, Secondhand Limerick, Secondhand Purchases, Shopping Humor, Shopping Limerick, Time Humor, Time Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Shopping Humor, Time Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Timeless Limerick
Sunday, October 31st, 2021
I find “Mother Goose” puzzling. Don’t you?
Take that old gal who lives in a shoe
With her numerous tots.
Why a shoe, of all spots?
It’s a “shoe-inn,” you say? Where’s the loo?
Tags: Children Humor, Children Limerick, Fairy Tales, Fiction Humor, Fiction Limerick, Idioms Humor, Idioms Limerick, Mother Goose, Shoe Humor, Shoes Limerick, Stories Humor, Stories Limerick
Posted in Children Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Wordplay | 2 Comments »
Monday, October 25th, 2021
Happy “World Opera Day!” (October 25)
“Sustaining high notes can be hard,”
Said an opera singer who starred
In Norma; she claims
That it’s not fun and games,
But a contest of wills, no holds barred.
Tags: Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Norma, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Opera Day, Opera Humor, Opera Limerick, Singers, Singing Humor, Singing Limerick, World Opera Day
Posted in Idiom Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays, Wordplay | Comments Off on Operatic Limerick
Sunday, October 24th, 2021
A gambler who lost lots of dough
On a horse race, was stunned by the blow:
“Woe is me! I’m a chump!
That damn horse took a dump
Mid-race; he was rarin’ to ‘go.'”
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Defecation Humor, Defecation Limerick, Gambling Humor, Gambling Limerick, Gambling Verse, Horse Humor, Horse Limerick, Horse Racing, Horse Racing Humor, Horse Racing Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Race Humor, Race Limerick, Racing Humor, Racing Limerick
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Gambling & Gaming Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Wordplay | Comments Off on Woe-Ridden Gambler (Limerick)
