Archive for the ‘Holiday Humor’ Category
Tuesday, March 15th, 2011
Dear Math Enthusiasts: My apologies for writing this Limerick Ode to Pi one day late. I hope it isn’t too radical for me to defend myself by saying I posted it circa Pi Day. And that I’m just an average (okay … eccentric) math user who often goes off on tangents and spirals out of control. Or are you diametrically opposed to such a rationale?
Don’t like my angle? Okay, I absolutely promise that next year I’ll try to be acutely accurate. But in the meantime, here’s my celebratory verse:
Limerick Ode To Pi
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The 14th of March just went by,
And I failed to commemorate Pi.
Pi is three point one four
And more digits galore.
Next year circle your calendars. Bye.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Sorry for the height of silliness. I figure I should probably stop now, cuz you’ve lost interest and have concluded I’m flipping irrational.
Okay, I’m done now. We’re all squared away. You can count on it.
UPDATE: Here’s my new limerick for Pi Day 2014.
Tags: Arithmetic, Celebrations Poetry, Education & School Humor, March 14th, March Holidays, Math Humor, Mathematics Poem, Pi
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Education & School Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Seasons Humor | 5 Comments »
Saturday, March 12th, 2011
Limerick Ode To Daylight Saving Time
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our clocks all need changing tonight.
Daylight Saving Time — oh what a blight!
We may think it a crock,
But must alter each clock
Till the powers that be see the light.
(More DST humor here.)
Tags: Clocks Limerick, Daylight Saving Time, Daylight Savings Time, DST, DST Humor, Holiday Poetry, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, SpringForward, SpringForwardDay, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Holiday Humor, Odd Holidays, Seasons Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Time Humor | 8 Comments »
Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
Limerick Ode To International Women’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I nearly forgot — not sure how —
International Women’s Day — Wow!
It’s the 8th day of March —
Not a day to be arch
Or silly or zany, so Ciao!
Tags: Celebrations Poetry, Feminism Humor, Holiday Humor, International Women's Day, March Holidays, Women Verse
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Feminist Satire, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Social Satire | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011
Each year our calendars are jam-packed with weird, oddball holidays created, presumably, by equally weird people. Since I’m just as odd as the next person, I figure I’m entitled to invent one too … assuming I can come up with something strange that isn’t already taken.
Anyway, while scrolling through several calendars specializing in bizarre holidays, I noticed a startling omission. Apparently, nobody’s thought to invent All My Gizmos Are Working Day. That is, until now.
So with the powers vested in me as a member in good standing of the New York State Bar, I hereby declare March 2, 2011 to be the first annual All My Gizmos Are Working Day.
As you might expect, I’m commemorating this spanking new holiday with a limerick. But before I get to my verse, let me first acknowledge that most people won’t be able to really celebrate All My Gizmos Are Working Day on March 2nd. In fact, there’s a good chance I won’t be able to enjoy it either.
Why not? Because I can’t remember the last time that I didn’t have at least one broken gadget — a kitchen appliance, TV, DVD player, stereo, land line, cell phone, computer, e-book reader, MP3 player, etc. At least one electronic thingamajig is always misbehaving.
But hope springs eternal, right? So here’s my celebratory limerick:
Limerick Ode To All My Gizmos Are Working Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
All My Gizmos Are Working Day’s here.
March 2nd’s that day of good cheer.
If, alas, you’re disgusted
Cuz something is busted,
Try again on March 2nd next year.
(Inspired by Big Tent’s anti-holiday prompt.)
UPDATE: I’ve learned that March 26th is Make up your own Holiday Day.
Tags: All My Gizmos Are Working Day, Broken Gadgets Verse, Calendar Humor, Computer Verse, Gadget Humor, Gizmos, Holiday Satire, Law Humor, Limerick, Make Up Your Own Holiday Day, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Technology Limerick, Weird Celebrations
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Computer Humor, Holiday Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Social Satire, Technology Humor, Weird News Snark | 22 Comments »
Tuesday, February 8th, 2011
St. Valentine’s Day,
Okay for loving couples.
Much sweeter for stores.
(My Valentine’s Day limerick and another haiku are here. And here’s my Valiant Guys Guide To Valentines Day humor column.)
Tags: February Holidays, Holiday Gifts, Holiday Haiku, Money Verse, Relationships Poetry, Shopping Humor, Valentine Day's Humor
Posted in Haiku & Senryu, Holiday Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Relationship Humor, Shopping Humor | 4 Comments »
Saturday, January 1st, 2011
I wrote this limerick right after Mark and I finished celebrating the new year with lots of champagne. Nice to know that I can write a limerick (more or less) while under the influence:
Drunken Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Can I write silly verse after drinking?
Let’s see. Wait a second — I’m thinking.
Can’t come up with a verse
Or a rhyme. Even worse,
I suspect that this limerick’s stinking.
And speaking of “under the influence,” never forget this important adage: Let he who is without gin blast the first groan.
Tags: Alcoholic Poems, Celebrations Poetry, champagne, December Holidays, Drink Verse, Drinking Limerick, Holiday Poetry, New Year's Poem, Writing Limericks
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Drunken New Year’s Limerick
Friday, December 31st, 2010
New Year’s Eve Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
New Year’s Eve is upon us. Hooray!
Wish you all lots of joy night and day!
And to each of my friends
As the current year ends,
I promise more limerick play.
Tags: December Holidays, Holiday Limerick, New Year's Eve
Posted in Holiday Humor, Seasons Humor | Comments Off on New Year’s Eve Limerick
Monday, December 27th, 2010
As I’ve mentioned previously, my pal Patrick McGuire runs a weekly Unfinished Limerick Contest. The latest finished oddly, as explained in this … uh … press release. And I’m proud to say I garnered an Honorable Mention, despite having broken just about all of the contest’s rules. How did I pull off this feat? You’ll just have to read Patrick’s blog.
Here’s my entry:
Limerick Ode To Greed
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Tis the season to make lots of cash
For business, for God. Got a stash?
Yes, ain’t it ironic
That greed is so chronic?
We worship the gods of mall trash.
Tags: Business Verse, Greed Humor, Holiday Shoppers, Limerick Contest, Malls, Money Poems, Patrick McGuire, Religion Humor, Shopping Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Holiday Humor, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Shopping Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, December 25th, 2010
A reader asks, “What do Jews do on Christmas?” So as a public service, I offer a limerick explanation:
What Do Jews Do On Christmas? A Limerick Explanation
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s a query that’s answered with ease:
“What do Jews do on Christmas Day, please?”
We watch movies and read.
Surf the Net. (Dull indeed!)
But mostly we munch on Chinese.
(I’ve dedicated that limerick to Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan. (This post explains why.) And here’s a fun article about Jews and Chinese Food.
While I’m posting holiday humor, I might as well post the rest of the holiday verse I dashed off this week.
I hope you’ll think that these haiku
Ain’t all that bad for this old Jew.
HOLIDAY HAIKU Quartet
Best safety advice
For the holiday season:
Hide under your bed.
*****
Since it’s Christmas Eve
Your shopping better be done,
Or you’ve been naughty.
*****
A generous gift
From our fav gov agency:
Revised 1040.
*****
No gifts for Kwanzaa
Or Christmas or Chanukah.
Husband’s gift enough.
*****
Tags: Chinese Food, Christmas Humor, Christmas Limerick, December Holidays, Elena Kagan, Food Poem, Holiday Haiku, Holiday Humor, Holiday Limerick, Jewish Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Jewish Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse, Seasons Humor | Comments Off on What Do Jews Do On Christmas? A Limerick Explanation
Saturday, December 25th, 2010
When I was growing up, my mother used to joke that “Christmas isn’t such Jewish holiday.”
We Jews do tend to feel left out of things this time of year. After all, Chanukah may be really, really long, but it just doesn’t have that Christmas panache. Ask Jon Stewart, if you don’t believe me.
So I think we Jews need a Christmas limerick, and I’ve written one in my late mom’s honor:
A Jewish Christmas Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re Jewish and feeling left out?
We have holy days too we can tout.
So enjoy and feel chipper.
We’ve still got Yom Kippur.
On second thought, go ahead — pout.
Update: For those who pronounce Yom Kippur the other way, I’ve written an alternative B-rhyme for the 3rd and 4th lines. Here’s the alternate version:
A Jewish Christmas Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re Jewish and feeling left out?
We have holy days too we can tout.
Ain’t you thrilled to your core
By the great Yom Kippur?
On second thought, go ahead — pout.
Tags: Chanukah, Christmas Humor, Christmas Limerick, December Holidays, Holiday Limerick, Jewish Humor, Jon Stewart, Religion Humor, Seasonal Poems
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Holiday Humor, Jewish Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse, Seasons Humor | 3 Comments »
Thursday, December 23rd, 2010
I don’t want to sound negative (I try to save the negativity for my political blog) but I hate Handel’s Messiah.
It’s not that I have anything against Handel. His Water Music and his Royal Fireworks Music are very enjoyable. And he wrote some lovely oboe sonatas.
But the Messiah? Hearing just a measure or two is enough to drive me nuts. And not just because of its really boring Hallelujah Chorus. Or the fact that you can’t get through the Christmas holidays without roughly a gazillion choral societies singing the damn thing.
Handel’s Messiah is dull enough to turn almost anyone into an atheist. And that’s why I wrote this haiku and limerick:
Haiku:
Sacrilege, I know.
But to Handel’s Messiah
I say, “Bach! Humbug!”
Limerick:
I sigh when I hear the Messiah.
It’s a work that just doesn’t inspiah.
Give me Bach any day.
Rather see the ballet!
So enough Hallelujahs! Oh, myah!
Update: My pal Bill Nothstine points me to this Flash Mob performance of the Messiah’s Hallelujah Chorus. And I have to agree with him — if you’re going to see any of the Messiah, this is the way to do it.
Tags: Choral Music, Chorus Humor, December Holidays, George Frideric Handel, Holiday Music, Holiday Verse, Messiah
Posted in Holiday Humor, Music Humor & Verse | 2 Comments »
Saturday, December 18th, 2010
Last week I wrote a series of holiday office party haiku before and after my husband’s office Christmas party. Having survived the festivities, I figured I’d post what’s turned into a trilogy here. (Note: I added one in 2014, turning it into a quartet.)
Holiday party
At husband’s office tonight.
Note to self: Behave.
*****
Trying not to smile–
must conserve facial muscles
for office party.
*****
Friendly note from pals:
“Enjoy the office party.”
Never a good plan.
*****
Ev’ryone behaved
At the office Christmas bash.
Now safe to have fun.
(You can find more of my office party humor here.)
Tags: Christmas Party Humor, December Holidays, Holiday Haiku, Office Party, Seasonal Senryu, Work Humor
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Haiku & Senryu, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Workplace & Career Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, December 1st, 2010
Just in time for Chanukah, I’ve given Winter Wonderland a new first verse. Feel free to add your own verses, if you’re so inclined. As for me, I’m on the hunt for some chocolate Chanukah gelt. But first I must sing my Chanukah song verse:
Candles lit. Are you looking?
Dreidels spin. Latkas cooking.
Menorahs aglow.
(A mitzvah, you know.)
Chanukah is here. Strike up the band.
Tags: Chanukah, December Holidays, Festival Of Lights, Hanukkah, Holiday Song, Jewish Humor, Song Parody, Winter Humor
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Holiday Humor, Jewish Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Seasons Humor | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, November 24th, 2010
I can’t let Thanksgiving go by without writing a limerick. Or maybe I can. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure it’s my duty as an American citizen to post this while there’s still time to save yourselves:
Limerick Ode To Thanksgiving
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Whatever you’re planning to eat
This Thanksgiving, I hope it’s a treat.
Whether stuffing and turkey
Or something more quirky,
Here’s hoping it doesn’t repeat.
Tags: Food Verse, Holiday Poetry, November Holidays, Stuffing Limerick, Thanksgiving, Turkey Humor
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Seasons Humor | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, October 13th, 2010
One of my most important duties is to keep you abreast of important holidays like National Vodka Day, National Punctuation Day, International Limerick Day, National Grammar Day, and the subject of today’s limerick: National Boss Day.
That’s right — our poor beleaguered bosses get their own holiday on October 16th:
National Boss Day — Who Needs It? (Limerick)
For a reason I don’t comprehend
Bosses get their own day — what a trend.
A national day
When our bosses hold sway?
How silly! Such nonsense must end.
(You can find more of my employment humor here.)
Tags: Boss Humor, National Boss Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Work Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Celebrations Poetry, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holidays, Workplace & Career Humor | 6 Comments »
Monday, October 4th, 2010
Wow! It’s almost midnight on October 4th. And that means I almost missed National Vodka Day. Must celebrate with a limerick:
Happy Vodka Day!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Which liquor’s remembered today?
Not tequila or rum or Lillet.
I’m afraid you don’t win
If you guess that it’s gin,
Cuz it’s vodka. Start pouring, okay?
Tags: Alcoholic Poems, Celebrations Poetry, Drink Verse, Holiday Humor, Lillet, National Vodka Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Rum, Tequila, Vodka
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 4 Comments »
Sunday, September 26th, 2010
Somehow I managed to miss National Punctuation Day on Sept 24th. “Shame on me!”
Oh my — I just used an exclamation point! And I did it again!
As you can tell from my limerick, I’m not a big fan of the exclamation point, a/k/a the bang.
STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Those points that are meant to exclaim
Often bug me. Yes, bangs seem quite lame.
I abuse them, at times,
When excited by rhymes!!!!
But usage that’s spare is my aim.
By the way, it isn’t too late to celebrate National Punctuation Day: NationalPunctuationDay.com is doing it with a punctuation-related haiku contest. (The deadline is September 30th.)
And speaking of contests, the Washington Post is hosting another limerick competition. (As I mentioned previously, I got an honorable mention in their last one.)
Anyway, the Washington Post’s latest limerick contest sounds like a lot of fun. Much like my Limerick-Offs, WP provides limerick lines. However, the WP contest is definitely harder than mine: I provide A-rhyme first lines, while the WP contest offers us B-rhyme lines.
The Washington Post contest deadline is October 4th. Good luck!
Tags: Bangs, Contests, Exclamation Marks, Grammar Humor, Language Satire, National Punctuation Day, Poetry Contest, Punctuation Humor, September Holidays, Style Invitational, Washington Post Limerick Contest, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Communication Humor, Contests, Holiday Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | 1 Comment »
Sunday, July 4th, 2010
If you enjoy Shakespeare performed beautifully in a magnificent setting, don’t miss the Hudson Valley Shakespeare Festival at the Boscobel Restoration in Garrison, New York.
Troilus and Cressida opened July 3rd, and it was terrific.
We started the evening with a delightful picnic on Boscobel’s Hudson River grounds, then moved into the tent for an inventive performance of the baudy, Trojan tale.
Things got even more unusual in the Second Act, which began with a quirky, yet oddly fitting musical number. After the music, the audience members were welcomed to leave their seats temporarily, walk down to the Hudson River, and view the holiday fireworks display that was about to take place across the river at West Point.
Once the fireworks were over, we returned to our seats and the play continued. What fun!
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Like Shakespeare performed in a tent?
Then see Troilus — it’s time quite well spent:
At the Boscobel joint—
Straight across from West Point.
Please don’t miss it — you’ll surely repent.
Tags: Boscobel, Fireworks, Hudson River, Hudson Valley, Leisure Time Humor, Literature, Movie & Play Humor, Outdoors, Theater Humor, Troilus And Cressida Review, West Point, William Shakespeare
Posted in Authors & Playwrights, Celebrations Poetry, Entertaining New Yorkers, Holiday Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Movie & Play Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Night On The Town, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Theater Reviews, Travel Humor, Vacation Humor | 3 Comments »
Saturday, June 5th, 2010
My husband Mark and I had a wonderful time celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary on Friday, June 4th in Manhattan. We saw a Broadway play — Ken Ludwig’s hilarious Lend Me A Tenor, which was directed by Stanley Tucci. (There’s more about the play in my two-verse limerick.) We also dined at Nocello and enjoyed attempting to dance the rumba at the Marriott Marquis’ Broadway Lounge.
And now, my limerick:
The Tenor Of Our Anniversary
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Hubby Mark and I partied last night.
(It’s been thirty-two years of delight.)
Saw a great Broadway play.
What a heavenly way
To celebrate marriage just right!
Shaloub and LaPaglia star.
(Both are Tony’s — you know who they are.)
Justin Bartha stars too.
We kept laughing on cue
At Lend Me A Tenor. Har, har!
Tags: Broadway Comedy, Holiday Poetry, Husband Wife Humor, June Holidays, Justin Bartha, Ken Ludwig, Lend Me A Tenor, New York City Verse, Stanley Tucci, Theater Review, Tony LaPaglia, Tony Shaloub, Wedding Anniversary Limerick
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Celebrity Humor, Entertaining New Yorkers, Holiday Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Night On The Town, Personal, Public Figures, Theater Reviews | 4 Comments »
Monday, May 10th, 2010
Mother’s Day isn’t this week’s only important holiday. What else is there? International Limerick Day, of course, which celebrates the May 12th birthday of Edward Lear. After all, nobody’s done more than Edward Lear to popularize the limerick.
I’ve written a limerick two limericks to celebrate Lear and National Limerick Day, and I hope you’ll write one too:
Limerick Ode To Edward Lear
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s Limerick Day — did you hear —
On May 12th for the birth of Ed Lear.
In his honor that day
Rhyme A-A-B-B-A.
And thank him for spreading good cheer.
Update: I’ve written Edward Lear a 2nd limerick:
Edward Lear was a poet quite witty,
Who wrote verse rather brief, even bitty.
His birthday’s 12 May,
So we treasure that day
In thanks for the limerick ditty.
(Note: I’m also celebrating National Limerick Day on Facebook too.)
Tags: Edward Lear, Holiday Poetry, May Holidays, National Limerick Day, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Limericks, Writing Prompts
Posted in Authors & Playwrights, Birthday Verse, Holiday Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Writing & Publishing Humor | 13 Comments »
