Labor Day’s coming —
the jobless labor to find
cause to celebrate.
Sorry about the downer haiku. To compensate, here are two old humor columns of mine: Just In Time For Labor Day, Some Job Interview Humor and Working Stiffed.
Archive for the ‘Holiday Humor’ Category
Depressing Haiku of the Day
Friday, September 2nd, 2011Mathematical Cat Fight (Happy Tau Day — June 28th)
Tuesday, June 28th, 2011When I went to school a zillion years ago, using Pi was a given in math class. So I was astonished to learn that some mathematicians favor using Tau instead. What’s the difference? While Pi’s value is 3.14 plus an endless bunch of post-decimal digits, Tau’s value is double Pi at 6.28 (plus its own post-decimal digits*.) And while Pi is celebrated on March 14th, math fans commemorate Tau on June 28th.
I figured that since I’ve already written Pi a limerick ode in its honor, Tau deserves the same treatment:
Mathematical Cat Fight (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It seems Pi has a challenger — Wow!
The name of its rival is Tau!
Its value is twice
That of Pi — oh how nice!
“2 Pi R” becomes “Tau R.” Meow!
Happy Tau Day!
* Edited for clarity.
Just In Time For Father’s Day
Saturday, June 18th, 2011Father’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Do not argue with me,” said the dad
To his son, who was making him mad.
“You are too disputatious,
Your point is fallacious,
And…” “Huh?” said the four-year-old lad.
Wedding Anniversary Limerick
Friday, June 3rd, 2011Tomorrow, June 4th, is our 33rd wedding anniversary. So here’s an anniversary limerick for my wonderful husband, Mark Kane:
Wedding Anniversary Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s the fabulous 4th, so let’s cheer
Cuz the day we got married is here.
And to add to our mirth,
It’s the date of the birth
Of Aesop … though not the same year.
Limerick Ode To Memorial Day
Wednesday, May 25th, 2011Limerick Ode To Memorial Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Memorial Day falls on Monday—
It’s a time to recall lives undone day.
Sadly, some folks ignore
What this holiday’s for
And behave like it’s just a good fun day.
(You can find my holiday humor here.)
A Limerick About Nothing
Thursday, May 5th, 2011I just found out that this week (May 1 through May 7) is National Pet Week. So I thought I’d celebrate with a canine limerick:
A Limerick About Nothing
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who owned a pet dog
Took him out for a walk in the fog.
Soon the man and his hound
Were back home safe and sound,
Where he wrote up their walk on his blog.
UPDATE: Happy “Walking The Dog Day.” (February 22)
Macaronic Limerick
Monday, April 25th, 2011First off, this limerick (despite its name) has nothing to do with macaroni. I’m not suffering from Passover pasta-withdrawal. Nor do my dreams (or nightmares) ever feature anything of a noodle nature.
So why the title? I just learned, from the delightfully informative Miss Rumphius, about the rare and usually comic form called macaronic verse. What the heck is macaronic verse? We’re told that it’s a usually absurd and nonsensical “poem in a mixture of two languages, one of them preferably Latin,” and that “the poet usually subjects one language to the grammatical laws of another to make people laugh.”
So naturally I had to try it, mixing legal terms (mostly Latin) in with standard limerick English:
Macaronic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The corpus is AWOL. Oh my!
I attest that I left it hereby.
What a bona fide mess.
My mentis has stress.
It’s de facto I mortemed that fly.
(Linked at We Write Poems pairings prompt.)
Limerick Lament
Friday, April 1st, 2011Limerick Lament
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are times that I feel like a tool,
Complying with each lim’rick rule.
So starting today
I refuse to obey.
Don’t believe me? You’re right. April Fool!
(My 2nd National Poetry Month poem, and it’s still April 1st. Yippee!)
Ready, Set, Versify!
Friday, April 1st, 2011National Poetry Month begins today, April 1st. And so…
Ready, Set, Versify!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I hope to write a poem a day
this month from April 1 till May.
They won’t be long — they rarely are.
Four lines or five, then au revoir.
No need to worry what’s in store:
My ADD cuts in before
I’ve time to wax verbose, prolix —
I used those last two words for kicks.
(I have lots of information here about National Poetry Month.)
Limerick Ode To National Poetry Month
Tuesday, March 29th, 2011April 1st is coming. Are you excited yet? No, I’m not talking about April Fool’s Day, although that’s pretty cool too. But April 1st is also the start of a month-long celebration of poetry in the U.S.A. — National Poetry Month (not to be confused with World Poetry Day.) Many online poets celebrate by writing a poem each day, and they announce their poetic participation over at NaPoWriMo.
So will I be writing a limerick a day in April? Damn right … with the occasional haiku, tanka, quatrain, or butterfly cinquain thrown in to spice things up. And of course I’ll be posting my weekly Limerick-Offs and Limerick of the Week contests every Sunday or Monday.
Here’s my Limerick Ode To National Poetry Month:
Limerick Ode To National Poetry Month (April 2011)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear poets, it’s time to prepare
For our April-long poetry fair.
We’ll write verse ev’ry day.
Not on Tax Day? Okay.
Just be sure that you read, write, and share.
Here are some good poetry sites that plan to celebrate National Poetry Month in a big way with daily prompts: Big Tent Poetry and Poetic Asides. Additionally, Writers Island will be providing a daily spot to post your April poems. And if that’s not enough, some sites offer daily prompts all year long, such as The Teachers Corner and Dodge Writes.
Moreover, New York City is holding two poetry contests in honor of National Poetry Month: NYC’s second annual Twitter poetry “Poetweet” contest and its “Poem In Your Pocket Day NYC” Facebook page “Envelope Project.”
If you know of any other National Poetry Day events, contests, and/or prompts, feel free to post them here in the comments section. Thanks!
Ode To Breakfast (and a Caffeinated Haiku)
Friday, March 25th, 2011Did you know that today, March 25th, is International Waffle Day? Me neither. And if you feel compelled to celebrate waffles twice each year, National Waffle Day and the waffle iron patent are celebrated on August 24th.
So why am I telling you this? Because I’m obediently rising to the challenge of writing a poem about breakfast. And I stumbled upon all this waffle nonsense while doing some poetic procrastination.
*****
Ode to Breakfast
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oatmeal breaks my fast
when I arise,
though it tastes like paste
in breakfast guise.
Why not something else
I don’t despise?
Cuz I hate each choice
those chefs devise.
Waffles, eggs, French toast
grits — some may prize.
But hot oatmeal’s quick.
So enough with the “whys.”
*****
While I’m at it, here’s a haiku about my favorite morning (and afternoon and pretty much all day) beverage:
Coffee never tempts,
but denied cappuccino
then call me verklempt.
*****
UPDATE: October 29 is National Oatmeal Day.
Limerick Ode To World Poetry Day — March 21st
Saturday, March 19th, 2011So far, March has been a big month for celebratory limericks. I’ve already limericked about International Women’s Day, Daylight Savings Time, Pi Day, and St. Patrick’s Day. And now it’s time for a two-verse limerick celebrating World Poetry Day, which falls on March 21st:
Limerick Ode To World Poetry Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On World Poetry Day write some verse,
Or in poetry reading immerse.
Try a lim’rick, haiku,
Sonnet, ode, clerihew —
Something witty, or languid, or terse.
On World Poetry Day have some fun:
Compose quatrains, blank verse, or haibun.
Double dactyl, sestina —
The poet’s arena
Will even permit you to pun.
UPDATE: I discovered and corrected some serious errors on Wikipedia’s World Poetry Day page (Google’s top entry for the World Poetry Day topic.) The most glaring error was made more than a month ago, on February 15th, by someone who apparently was manipulating Wikipedia on behalf of a UK-based “global grocery and general merchandising retailer” named Tesco. All references to UNESCO, which had declared March 21st to be World Poetry Day, had been changed to TESCO.
I was stunned that nobody was monitoring Wikipedia well enough to catch and correct this error, and that it took me, an infrequent Wikipedia user, to fix it.
So let that be a lesson to people who rely on Wikipedia. While it’s often useful, it’s far from the gospel. And if you find errors there, be a good Internet citizen and fix them.
One more thing — I urge all poets and writers who are at all publicity-minded, to create their own Wikipedia page. Here’s mine.
UPDATE 2: Commenter Tilly Bud inspired me to combine my two limericks, turning them into a two-verse limerick. Thanks, Tilly!
Limerick Ode To St. Patrick’s Day — March 17th
Wednesday, March 16th, 2011Limerick Ode To St. Patrick’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On St. Patrick’s Day join in the fun.
We’re all Irish that day — yes, each one.
So wear green, find a pub,
Eat some cabbagy grub,
And until you’ve drunk beer, you ain’t done.
Happy Pi Day — March 14th
Tuesday, March 15th, 2011Dear Math Enthusiasts: My apologies for writing this Limerick Ode to Pi one day late. I hope it isn’t too radical for me to defend myself by saying I posted it circa Pi Day. And that I’m just an average (okay … eccentric) math user who often goes off on tangents and spirals out of control. Or are you diametrically opposed to such a rationale?
Don’t like my angle? Okay, I absolutely promise that next year I’ll try to be acutely accurate. But in the meantime, here’s my celebratory verse:
Limerick Ode To Pi
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The 14th of March just went by,
And I failed to commemorate Pi.
Pi is three point one four
And more digits galore.
Next year circle your calendars. Bye.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Sorry for the height of silliness. I figure I should probably stop now, cuz you’ve lost interest and have concluded I’m flipping irrational.
Okay, I’m done now. We’re all squared away. You can count on it.
UPDATE: Here’s my new limerick for Pi Day 2014.
Limerick Ode To Daylight Saving Time
Saturday, March 12th, 2011Limerick Ode To Daylight Saving Time
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our clocks all need changing tonight.
Daylight Saving Time — oh what a blight!
We may think it a crock,
But must alter each clock
Till the powers that be see the light.
(More DST humor here.)
