For her party, she planned lots of glitter,
But forgot; she’s a bit of a flitter.
So nothing was clinquant.
That gal was delinquent…
Also smart; this cut down on the litter.
Archive for the ‘Holiday Humor’ Category
Not So Glittery Party (Limerick)
Thursday, December 31st, 2015New Year’s Toast (Limerick)
Thursday, December 31st, 2015The new year is coming up fast,
As I think of the world’s recent past.
It feels like the brink,
So to hope I shall drink:
Next year’s GOT to be better than last.
Sound Familiar? (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 30th, 2015That annual moment is near,
When I notice I’ve failed to adhere
To the “vow list” I wrote;
Resolutions I’ll quote
In my NEW list. (They’re longer each year.)
Not That I’m Complaining, But… (Limerick)
Thursday, December 24th, 2015I’m not writing a climate-change screed,
But I’d wager most folks would concede
This is crazy as heck:
Icy drinks on our deck,
Late December, New York. Coat? No need!
What Have They Done To My Treats? (2-Verse Limerick)
Sunday, November 1st, 2015Halloween week I sampled some candy,
But stuff that I used to find dandy
Made me cringe with distaste.
Has aging laid waste
To my taste buds? I’d rather drink brandy.
Have the folks who make chocolate treats
Altered recipes, cheapened these sweets
Till they taste like debris?
Is it them? Is it me?
Either way, here come healthier eats.
Halloween Teens (Limerick)
Friday, October 30th, 2015Halloween, when the teens come around,
They will surely be sugar-high bound.
Will they scarf up their treats
While they’re combing the streets?
Yes they’ll feast as the pavement they pound.
Limerick Flaw
Wednesday, April 1st, 2015My life has a terrible flaw;
I’m adrift and off course — in a yaw.
I’ve concluded that humor’s
No job for this boomer.
It’s time to return to the law.
Happy April Fools’ Day!
Windy St. Patrick’s Day Limerick
Tuesday, March 17th, 2015Windy St. Patrick’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Thinking Jack Frost had split, we high-fived.
But our basking in warmth was short-lived.
Winter managed to con us–
Cold wind is upon us–
A low blow as St. Pat’s Day arrived.
(More wind poetry here.)
Post-Christmas Lament
Friday, December 26th, 2014Post-Christmas Lament
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Christmas season’s ended,
So shopping’s at a stall.
But exchangers have descended.
When’s it safe to risk a mall?
Dear Klutzy Gift-Givers (Limerick)
Thursday, December 18th, 2014Dear Klutzy Gift-Givers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Are your fingers all thumbs? Then beware!
Please don’t try to convince her you care
By wrapping your gift.
One quick look — she’ll be miffed:
“Why’s my present been mauled by a bear?”
Something I’ve Noticed (Limerick)
Monday, December 8th, 2014Something I’ve Noticed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This notice can fill you with dread,
When it comes from your office-place head:
Not the “blue slip,” you smarty–
The “holiday party!”
I’ll bet you’d feel safer in bed.
Thanksgiving Limerick
Thursday, November 27th, 2014Thanksgiving Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I should really stop singing the blues
And bemoaning the terrible news
And, instead, send this greeting:
At least we are eating;
Many people lack roof, food, and shoes.
Limerick Ode To Greedy Stores
Tuesday, November 25th, 2014Limerick Ode To Greedy Stores
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Don’t reward greedy, cynical stores
For behaving like gluttonous whores:
If they’re open on days
Like Thanksgiving, it pays
To shop elsewhere. Don’t walk through their doors!
******
A Companion Haiku:
Stores, be on notice:
Open doors on Thanksgiving?
Brace for a boycott.
******
Trick-Or-Treating Goes Green? (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 29th, 2014Here’s a creepy Halloween-related survey:
More than half (53%) of parents of trick-or-treaters say their children between the ages of 4 and 10 would prefer cash over candy or even toys, according to a survey of 1,747 parents who celebrated Halloween carried out by coupon- and discount-code website Vouchercloud.net.
Trick-Or-Treating Goes Green? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To you kids who want Halloween cash,
And not candy, your hopes I must dash.
If you ask me for money
Dear girly or sonny,
I’ll double the other kid’s stash.
Limerick Ode To Holiday Fasters
Friday, October 3rd, 2014Limerick Ode To Holiday Fasters
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To those who are fasting right now,
It is best not to think about chow.
And I hope that this tip
Doesn’t strike you as flip:
Though it’s stressful, please don’t have a cow.
Limerick Ode To Bad Poetry Day
Monday, August 18th, 2014Today, August 18, is Bad Poetry Day. So I figured I’d write a bad limerick on purpose. How? By picking an A-rhyme with a relatively small word selection:
Limerick Ode To Bad Poetry Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s Bad Poetry Day, and I wonder
Why bother to pillage and plunder
The language of verse.
I the blunderbuss curse
Who’d, on purpose, tear poems asunder.
Limerick Ode To A Stormy Independence Day
Friday, July 4th, 2014Limerick Ode To A Stormy Independence Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The East Coast, alas, is awash
With Hurricane Arthurly slosh,
Bringing wind gusts and rain
And flooding — the bane
Of saluting the 4th with panache.
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
Monday, June 2nd, 2014Brace yourself for “I Love My Dentist Day.” (June 2nd)
Limerick Ode to “I Love My Dentist Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some holidays offer delight,
And others are likely to bite:
Love My Dentist Day’s one
That is NOT packed with fun,
So I brush the day off like a mite.
(You might also enjoy my Dental Deal and my Biting Limerick.)
And don’t forget about National Toothache Day (February 9th) and Dentists Day (March 6th.)
Happy World Cocktail Day (May 13th)
Tuesday, May 13th, 2014Limerick Ode To The Cocktail
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We celebrate cocktails in May:
May 13th is “World Cocktail Day.” Yay!
But I hope you won’t laugh
When I say on behalf
Of its worshippers: Why just one day?
(On May 13, 1806, The Balance and Columbian Repository, an upstate New York newspaper, published the first known definition of the word “cock-tail,” as “a stimulating liquor, composed of spirits of any kind, sugar, water and bitters.”)
