Archive for the ‘Health Verse’ Category
Friday, June 25th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who drank to excess…
Here’s mine:
Lush Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who drank to excess
Got to work in a state of undress:
Wore no shirt and no shoes,
Had a briefcase of booze
And, quite tipsy, said “Dress to impress.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Alcoholic Poems, Appearance Humor, Booze Humor, Clothing Poem, Drinking Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Addiction Humor, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 26 Comments »
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman succumbed to a whim…
Here’s mine:
Whimsical Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman succumbed to a whim
And enrolled in an overpriced gym.
She tried free weights, machines,
Even yoga for teens,
Till she ran out of money and vim.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Gym Membership, Health Club Humor, Health Limerick, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Whimsy Verse, Writing Prompts, Yoga
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Gym Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Sports Humor | 23 Comments »
Wednesday, June 16th, 2010
I’m not exactly a sports aficionado. But I’m guessing it’s safe to presume that most games are expected to be noisy.
Apparently, though, South African soccer fans take such noise to a new ear-piercing level, enthusiastically blowing vuvuzelas in the stadiums. What’s a vuvuzela? Well, I know from oboes, but not from vuvuzelas. However, I’ve just learned they’re cacophonous, droning, deafening horns (blown like a brass instrument) that are driving TV World Cup viewers insane.
Vive Vuvuzelas? Please, No! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Attempting to watch World Cup soccer?
Then you’re likely to go off your rocker:
Vuvuzelas abound
With their loud, droning sound.
They are deafening. Help! Need a blocker!
Tags: Brass Players, Football Humor, Hearing Loss, June Holidays, Musical Instruments, Noise Humor, Soccer Fans, Soccer Stadiums, South Africa, Sports Humor, Television Limerick, Vuvuzela, World Cup
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Sports Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 9 Comments »
Monday, April 5th, 2010
My versifying friend Gerald Bosacker has been writing a series of Poetic Headstones — safety hints in limerick form, which he refers to as “limerbituaries.” When he challenged me to write one, I just had to give it a try:
If your doc says, “Go under the knife.
Only surgery’s saving your life.”
Kindly check out his rep.
Mel did not, the poor schlepp.
So Mel is now missed by his wife.
From there, I moved on to something a bit more warped — not exactly a safety hint, but a “limerbituary,” nonetheless:
Just why is this poor fellow dead?
Well mainly he’s missing his head.
He dined with a bad man,
A head-chopping madman,
And that’s the last time he was fed.
Thanks for the inspiration, Gerald.
Tags: Crime, Death Limerick, Doctors Humor, Gallows Humor, Headstones Tombstones Humor, Health Limerick, Medical Humor, Safety Verse
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Crime & Punishment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Sunday, March 14th, 2010
Are you as sick as I am of our twice-yearly clock-adjustment ritual? Do you think, as I do, that we have more than enough daylight and that there’s no need to save any?
I’m sorry, but my internal clock is sufficiently confused and doesn’t need Daylight Savings Time to make my chronic insomnia even worse. And I’m inclined to clock the next person who reminds me to change my damn clocks.
Save Me From Daylight Savings Time (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My natural clock is a mess.
Just thinking of sleep gives me stress.
Spring forward—fall back
Makes me more out of whack.
So I don’t change my clocks — I just guess.
(More DST humor here.)
Tags: Clocks Limerick, Daylight Savings Time, DST Humor, Holiday Poetry, Insomnia Humor, March Holidays, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Seasons Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Time Humor | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as a first line:
A wealthy old fellow named Bart…
Here’s mine:
A Limerick Meal
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A wealthy old fellow named Bart
Began ev’ry meal with a fart.
When guests came to dine
They’d pretend all was fine
Cuz they hoped to inherit his art.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Art Limerick, Digestion Humor, Dinner Humor, Fart Limerick, Greed Humor, Inheritance Humor, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Smell Humor | 12 Comments »
Saturday, February 27th, 2010
Here we go again: Yet another scientific study says many of us should have ignored a previous study. The latest concerns the dangers of taking daily aspirin to guard against heart attacks and strokes.
Are Health Studies Making Us Sick? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Daily asp’rin is good, so they said.
But it seems we were maybe misled.
Though it might prevent strokes,
It may cause many folks
To enjoy bleeding ulcers instead.
Related Post: Margarine Is Good For You. Oops — Never Mind.
Tags: Aspirin, Bleeding Ulcers, Health Limericks, Medication Humor, Science Satire, Scientific Studies, Scientists, Strokes
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Science Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010
My lifelong klutziness is starting to get on my nerves. Okay, I don’t complain when I fall while trying to swing dance. Not too much, anyway. After all, there’s assumption of risk involved. But just the other day I managed to fall off a folding chair. And that’s plain stupid … not to mention, embarrassing:
Feeling Silly … And Sore (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If I fall while I dance, I don’t care:
It’s a case of swing dancer, beware.
But my clumsiness irks
When I’m one of those jerks
Who foolishly falls off a chair.
Tags: Assumption of Risk, Clumsiness Verse, Embarrassing Experiences, Folding Chair Dangers, Trip & Fall Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clumsiness Humor, Dance Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Thursday, February 11th, 2010
I’m so sick of this snowy New York winter. And of all the fretful phone calls from my mother-in-law, warning hubby Mark about snow shoveling and heart attacks. Funny, she isn’t at all concerned about my heart.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Send Us Spring, STAT!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m achy from head down to toe.
The cause? I’ve been shoveling snow.
I wanted to punt,
But instead, did our front,
While my spouse did the rest — quid pro quo.
********
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the one up side of February which is coming up very soon: Valentines Day. And so happy Valentines day, especially to you fellows who may find this Valentines Day column helpful. Gals, you can thank me later.
Tags: Health Risks, Heart Attack Poetry, Mother-in-Law Humor, New York Weather, Seasonal Verse, Shoveling Snow, Snow Poetry, Snow Storm Poem, Snow Verse, Weather Poem, Winter Limerick
Posted in Chores Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor, Relationship Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, January 6th, 2010
I’m short. Five-foot-zero, to be specific. But I never wear heels. Okay, I do have one pair of special-occasion shoes with a one-inch heel. Does that even count?
I forswore high heels way back in my early twenties. Why? Isn’t it obvious? Because they hurt! Besides, even if I braved three-inch heels, I’d still be really short. Plus I’ve never thought teetering was all that sexy.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Shoo, Heels!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m short, but wear flats — never heels.
Cuz they hurt. Gals, you know how it feels.
So my word to height seekers:
Just give me some sneakers,
Or flip flops, or better yet — wheels.
Tags: Comfort Humor, Fashion Verse, Feet Humor, Height Poem, High Heels Humor, Shoes Limerick
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Fashion Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Walking Humor | 4 Comments »
Friday, November 27th, 2009
Every few years, my husband and I take ballroom dancing classes. We never make much progress, but we do have a good time. Except, of course, for the bruised limbs … and egos.
I’m celebrating our latest lesson attempt with a two-part limerick:
We Don’t Think We Can Dance, But We Do It Anyway
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband and I like to dance.
Are we good? Oh no way — not a chance.
I am not being humble
In saying we stumble
And often trip over our pants.
But we’re working on rumba and swing.
Plan a do-over class in the spring.
And to those who might think
That we really do stink,
Just be glad we’re not trying to sing.
UPDATE: Happy International Dance Day! (April 29th)
Tags: April Holidays, Ballroom Dance, Dance Classes, Dancing Humor, Exercise Humor, International Dance Day, Odd Holidays, Rumba, Swing
Posted in Dance Humor, Education & School Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Health Verse, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays, Recreation & Fun Humor | 15 Comments »
Thursday, June 18th, 2009
Empty Nest (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was feeling depressed.
(Her syndrome is called “empty nest.”)
Her home was too calm.
She missed being a mom—
Though her spouse “helped” by being a pest.
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Depression, Empty Nest Syndrome, Family, House & Home, Husbands, Limericks, Mental Health, Parenting, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mental Health Humor | 19 Comments »
Friday, May 22nd, 2009
Obstreperous Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An obstreperous fellow named Joe
Picked a fight with a long-standing foe.
It began with a curse.
He soon needed a nurse.
Now Joseph is missing a toe.
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Argument, Curse, Fight, Health, Nurse
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 4 Comments »
Thursday, May 21st, 2009
Doc Mockery (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A nervous young fellow named Phil
Asked his doc if he needed a will.
He responded, “Don’t worry,
But kindly go hurry
And pay up your overdue bill.”
Update: Happy National Doctors’ Day! (March 30th)
Tags: Bills, Doctors, Doctors Humor, Health, Law, March Holidays, Medicine, Money, National Doctors Day, Odd Holidays, Patients, Wills
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | Comments Off on Doc Mockery
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009
Pedestrian Plea (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a fellow named Mike,
Who was bored while out riding his bike.
So he spoke on his cell,
Did some texting, then fell.
Multitaskers, oh please take a hike.
Update: I’ve just found out that November 17th Is “National Take A Hike Day.” Something tells me, it may be meant to celebrate something a bit different.
Tags: Biking, Cell Phone, Multitasking, November Holidays, Outdoors, Sports, Take A Hike Day, Texting
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Health Verse, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Multitasking Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Recreation & Fun Humor, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor, Walking Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009
My niece, who holds yoga classes in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, New York, recently launched a yoga blog. And in her latest post she includes a video that demonstrates face-yoga.
So what the heck is face-yoga? According to the instructor featured on the video, certain face poses (including something called “the lion face”) can tone your face and reduce facial lines and wrinkles.
Hey … at least you don’t have to move your whole body.
I thought I’d celebrate with a limerick:
A Fountain Of Face-Yoga Youth?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Can yoga de-wrinkle your face?
Your forehead and frown lines erase?
With its face-moves like “lion” —
Not certain I’m buyin’.
But maybe I should … just in case.
Tags: Aging, Brooklyn, Classes, Exercise, New York City, Toning, Wrinkles, Yoga
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Aging Humor & Verse, Health Verse, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Physical Appearance | 3 Comments »
Thursday, November 20th, 2008
A limerick and a haiku (senryu) with teeth today. First, my limerick:
I think I’m becoming unglued —
Not my mind, but a cap caught on food.
But I can’t blame the guy
Who implanted it. Why?
I forgot to get perm-glued — not shrewd!
And now my haiku (senryu):
The left and the right
May mouth off at each other,
But both hate dentists.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about dentists and/or teeth. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. And please post a comment as well.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your dental verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
UPDATE 2: Happy National Toothache Day! (celebrated yearly on February 9th) And happy Dentists Day! (celebrated yearly on March 6th)
Tags: Cap, Dentist, Dentists Day, Food, National Toothache Day, Teeth
Posted in Haiku & Senryu, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 18 Comments »
Monday, June 16th, 2008
This poem started out as a senryu. But 17-syllables weren’t enough to say what I needed to say. So I added two 7-syllable lines, turning it into my first tanka:
Letter opener
Nearly cast aside as trash
Now my salvation,
Soothing, becalming the itch
That haunts my encasted arm.
Tags: Arm Cast, Broken Wrist, Health Tanka, Itches, Tanka
Posted in Health Verse, Tanka | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007
Ode to Unselfishness
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband is great—good as gold.
And there’s no one more giving, all told.
He’s benevolent, caring,
Unselfish, and sharing.
Don’t believe me? He gave me this cold.
Tags: Benevolence, Generosity Humor, Health Satire, Love Humor, Marriage, Romance Humor, Sharing, Unselfishness
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Social Satire | 9 Comments »
