Here’s hoping your new year is great!
(2020 sure sucked — no debate.)
If the new vaccines work,
And Mitch ISN’T a jerk,
We just might have a year we don’t hate.
Archive for the ‘Health Verse’ Category
Limerick Ode To 2021
Wednesday, December 30th, 2020Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DOPE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: August 15, 2020)
Saturday, August 1st, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DOPE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LOVE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LOVE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 16, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 15, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DOPE-rhyme limerick:
Wear a mask, please, and don’t be a dope.
Yes, it may be annoying, but cope.
Start now, and don’t wait;
You already are late…
And it also won’t hurt to use soap.
And here’s my LOVE-themed limerick:
“I’m in love,” said a gal to her mom.
“My boyfriend is great. He’s the bomb!”
But her mother replied:
“No, he’s conned you and lied;
He’s been featured in Sleazoids.com!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Yet Another Pandemic Challenge (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 1st, 2020The pandemic is causing a strain
On emotional health. What a bane!
We feel trapped! Tempers flare!
Can’t escape! I need air!
(Hey divorce lawyers, look for a gain.)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RAISE or RAYS or RAZE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 1, 2020)
Sunday, January 19th, 2020It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RAISE or RAYS or RAZE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DANCE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DANCE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 2, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 1, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my RAISE/RAYS/RAZE-rhyme limerick:
When requesting a bonus or raise,
It is best to prepare for some nays;
Often praise will precede
A loud “NO!” Alas greed
Within management ain’t just a phase.
And here’s my DANCE-themed limerick:
A gal was attempting the twist —
A dance from her youth she still missed.
But this hard kind of rock
Left her hips in a lock.
She was wistful, as Doc said: “Resist!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: GRIP or GRIPPE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 12, 2019)
Saturday, September 28th, 2019It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using GRIP or GRIPPE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BOSSES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BOSSES-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 13, 2019, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 12, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my GRIP/GRIPPE-rhyme limerick:
My mood has been taking a dip
Cuz I fear I’ve been gripped by the grippe.
“Just a cold,” says my doc.
“Get a grip and don’t squawk!
“My prescription: green tea and a nip.”
And here’s my BOSSES-themed limerick:
My boss tends to yammer and kvetch
And complain all the time, till you retch
From the onslaught of griping
And groaning and sniping…
But at least the guy isn’t a letch.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Are Limericks Good For Your Health?
Sunday, May 12th, 2019A lim’rick a day keeps away
The doctor — at least, so they say.
Well okay, I’ll concede
I invented that lede,
But it sure beats that “apple” cliché!
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
Happy Dentist’s Day (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 6th, 2019The dentist belonged to a faction
That would mouth off in ev’ry transaction.
One could never extract
Any manners or tact
From the man, which is why he’s in traction.
National Dentist’s Day is celebrated annually on March 6.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: NEED OR KNEAD OR KNEED at the end of any one line
Saturday, February 23rd, 2019It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using NEED OR KNEAD OR KNEED at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to POULTRY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best POULTRY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 10, 2019 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 9, 2019 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
I’m in pain, so I need you to knead
All my muscles. Then get me some weed.
I was kneed in the back
By some guy at the track,
And it feels like I fell off a steed.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Full-Throated Bitching (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 13th, 2019I’m sick and I can’t seem to stem
My output of vile-looking phlegm.
I can’t speak or emote;
There’s no clearing my throat.
I can’t even produce an “ahem.”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HOLE or WHOLE at the end of any one line
Saturday, September 15th, 2018It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using HOLE or WHOLE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SCHOOL SUPPLIES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SCHOOL SUPPLIES-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 30, 2018, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 29, 2018 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A fellow went out for a stroll,
Healthy exercise largely his goal.
He encountered a hitch,
Falling down in a ditch.
Not too healthy that walk, on the (w)hole.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Vet Your Doctors (Limerick)
Thursday, March 1st, 2018A doctor would frequently treat
His patients as if they were meat.
“My patients are pigs,”
He’d proclaim from his digs
Near a farm, which was piglet replete.
Happy National Pig Day!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FLU, FLEW, or FLUE at the end of any one line
Saturday, December 10th, 2016It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FLU, FLEW, or FLUE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PARTIES, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PARTY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 25, 2016, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 24, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here are my two sample limericks:
I never get shots for the flu.
It’s just something I don’t like to do;
I’m convinced they won’t work,
And I’ll feel like a jerk
When succumbing to germs from the queue.
and
I’m hoping you won’t misconstrue
This as telling you what you should do:
Our abode smells of smoke,
Which isn’t a joke.
Did you choke off our fireplace flue?
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
My Aching Back! (Limerick)
Friday, October 28th, 2016Oh, what have I done to my back?
It’s been painfully thrown out of whack.
Worst of all, there’s no tale
To explain my travail;
One false move, and I’m spasming. Ack!!!
Limerick Ode To The School Nurse
Wednesday, May 11th, 2016Gals remember your trusty school nurse?
You’d tell her, “I’m sick. It’s ‘the curse.’
I have to skip gym
And lie down. All my vim
Has vamoosed and the pain’s getting worse!”
(National School Nurse Day falls on the Wednesday of National Nurse Week, which is May 6 through May 12.)
Brushing Up On Your Holidays
Wednesday, February 24th, 2016This holiday surely has bite.
People honor it night after night
And each morning, I hope;
At least those who use soap
Should adore “Nylon Toothbrush Day,” right?
Nylon Toothbrush Day is celebrated on February 24th because on February 24, 1938, the first nylon bristle toothbrush, manufactured by DuPont under the name “Dr. West’s Miracle Toothbrush,” went on sale.
Cheesy Limerick
Wednesday, January 20th, 2016A man who should never eat cheese,
Ignores ev’ry cough and each wheeze
That comes in reaction
And once led to traction;
He can’t hack cheese-attraction disease.
Happy National Cheese Lovers Day, which is celebrated on January 20th.
Note: National Cheese Day falls on June 4th.
What Have They Done To My Treats? (2-Verse Limerick)
Sunday, November 1st, 2015Halloween week I sampled some candy,
But stuff that I used to find dandy
Made me cringe with distaste.
Has aging laid waste
To my taste buds? I’d rather drink brandy.
Have the folks who make chocolate treats
Altered recipes, cheapened these sweets
Till they taste like debris?
Is it them? Is it me?
Either way, here come healthier eats.
A Limerick for International Day Of Yoga (June 21)
Saturday, June 20th, 2015The U.N. has decreed June 21 to be International Day Of Yoga … which gives me a handy excuse to post this silly limerick:
A gal doing yoga while dressed
In a toga, when questioned, confessed
That her garb did not work—
Turned her poses berserk.
So instead of relaxed, she was stressed.
