Archive for the ‘Health Verse’ Category
Here We Go Again With The Clocks (Haiku)
Saturday, November 5th, 2022Foiled Romance (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 5th, 2022A young lass liked a fellow a lot,
But his anti-vax views were a blot.
So she thwarted his pass
When she grasped that, alas,
He would never give vaxes a shot.
Dodging The Dentist (2-Verse Limerick)
Monday, May 30th, 2022Who hasn’t discovered a gap
Where you once had a crown or a cap?
Then you search high and low.
Where the hell did it go?
If you’re lucky, it fell in your lap.
But more likely, it’s gone or destroyed;
Need a new one to fill that damn void.
You’re apparently fucked;
That doc you have ducked
For years must, alas, be employed.
An Age-Old Story (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 26th, 2022Although her great-uncle was old,
He still loved to play sports; he was bold
And he gave it his all
When he lunged for a ball.
He’d but ONE worry: Catching a cold!
A Failure To Communicate (Limerick)
Monday, April 18th, 2022A largely deaf fellow named Ben
Relished sex in his new girlfriend’s den.
But she’d talk during sex,
(Very much like his ex.)
His confusing reply? “Come again.”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: NOSE or KNOWS or NOES at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: April 16, 2022)
Saturday, April 2nd, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using NOSE or KNOWS or NOES at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SECURITY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SECURITY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 17, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 16, 2022, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my NOSE or KNOWS or NOES-rhyme limerick:
A fellow named Joe often goes
To ENT docs — nasal pros.
Those rhinologists charge
Pricey fees; bills so large
That poor Joe’s forced to pay through the nose.
And here’s my SECURITY-themed limerick:
Though the homebuilder does know the score,
His computer security’s poor.
So to no one’s surprise,
He’s been hacked. You’ll surmise:
Someone readily found the back door.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Conductor Misconduct (Limerick)
Monday, March 28th, 2022A crazy conductor named Dick
Had a fondness for “food on a stick.”
The guy was far gone;
Used his skewer-baton
To throw food at the winds with a flick.
*****
Happy “Something On A Stick Day.” (March 28)
Retaining Your Sense Of Humor (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2022A man did his best to disguise
His retinal issues with lies.
When at last he sought ocular
Aid, he was jocular:
“Doc, you’re a sight for sore eyes!”
(March 23 is World Optometry Day.)
An Age Old Protest (Limerick)
Saturday, March 12th, 2022I’ve been told to “Spring forward!” Can’t do!
With my knees? Are you kidding? I’m through:
No more jumping and running
And springing! I’m shunning
Such acts. You mean “clock movement?” Whew!
Please Don’t Tease Us (Limerick)
Monday, January 24th, 2022Some say Omicron cases are peaking.
Do they know that of which they are speaking?
We are all on the ropes,
So don’t lift up our hopes
Just to dash them again … cuz we’re freaking!
To Mix, Or To Match; That Is The Question (Limerick)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2021To mix, or to match — I’m confused:
Which booster vaccine should be used?
More Moderna? Some Pfizer?
I need an adviser!
By which shot should my shoulder be bruised?
Not Kneeling For “Knee Day” (Limerick) (October 22)
Friday, October 22nd, 2021Celebrate “National Knee Day?” Not me!
Say “hip, hip, hooray!” cuz it’s Knee Day?
I don’t find it a Fills-Me-With-Glee day.
Any “climb those stairs” stance
Makes my knees look askance,
So it’s more of a Please-Function-Plea day.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DOCK or DOC at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 30, 2021)
Saturday, October 16th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DOCK or DOC at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LIMBS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LIMB-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 31, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 30, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DOCK or DOC-rhyme limerick:
Laryngitis was getting his goat,
So he went to a doctor of note.
“I’ve a hunch,” said the doc,
“That you talk round the clock.”
Said his patient, “Don’t jump down my throat.”
And here’s my LIMB-themed limerick:
A man with an arm in a sling
Had recently injured his wing.
He wistfully said,
“My Frisbee arm’s dead…”
Then headed for one final fling.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Breathless Gossip (Limerick)
Monday, August 30th, 2021“Here’s some gossip I’ve only just heard:
Jane’s engaged to a writerly nerd,
Who’s a Scrabble fanatic
And rather asthmatic.
It’s a secret, so don’t breathe a word.”
Boning Up On Homonyms (Limerick)
Sunday, August 15th, 2021Once I discovered that “humorous” has a homonym,” I vowed to use the two words in a limerick. And that’s harder than it sounds, because (for those unfamiliar with the stringent rules of limerick writing) words that are identical in sound do NOT rhyme.
When her humerus needed repairing,
The expense nearly made her start swearing.
But her problems, though numerous,
Struck her as humorous,
So she giggled, instead of despairing.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TALE OR TAIL OR ENTAIL OR CURTAIL at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: July 24, 2021)
Saturday, July 10th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TALE OR TAIL OR ENTAIL OR CURTAIL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to VANITY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best VANITY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 25, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 24, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my TALE/TAIL/ENTAIL/CURTAIL-rhyme limerick:
I’ve a crime tale entailing a tail.
Who’s the target? A male out on bail.
Law enforcement, you see,
Was convinced he would flee.
But their quarry just likes a good sail.
And here’s my VANITY-themed limerick:
A fellow who’d constantly train
Did it mostly because he was vain.
He’s paid a steep price
To simply look nice:
At thirty he’s using a cane.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Coping With Cabin Fever (Limerick)
Thursday, July 8th, 2021I’m pleased that this Covid-related limerick of mine has just been published here in “Poetry and Covid.”
Manhattan’s begun to reopen;
Just in time, cuz we barely are copin’.
Cabin fever’s widespread.
Are our fav nightspots dead?
Can we still get great food there? Here’s hopin’!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STATE or ESTATE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: March 27, 2021)
Saturday, March 13th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STATE or ESTATE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CO-WORKERS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CO-WORKERS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 28, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 27, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my State/Estate-rhyme limerick:
My neighbor was fined and then jailed.
“I will NOT wear a mask he had wailed!”
“It’s not up for debate,”
Said the judge. “In this state,
We follow the rules, and you’re nailed.”
And here’s my Co-Workers-themed limerick:
My cubicle-mate just resigned.
I’m relieved; he’s a boor unrefined,
Who chomps coffee beans — gross!
Glad to say “Adios!”
(Enough bitching! It’s back to the grind.)
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
