Archive for the ‘Health Verse’ Category
Tuesday, April 26th, 2022
Although her great-uncle was old,
He still loved to play sports; he was bold
And he gave it his all
When he lunged for a ball.
He’d but ONE worry: Catching a cold!
Tags: Age Humor, Age Limerick, Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Limerick, Cold Humor, Cold Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Sports Humor, Sports Limerick
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor | Comments Off on An Age-Old Story (Limerick)
Monday, April 18th, 2022
A largely deaf fellow named Ben
Relished sex in his new girlfriend’s den.
But she’d talk during sex,
(Very much like his ex.)
His confusing reply? “Come again.”
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Communication Humor, Communication Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deafness Humor, Deafness Limerick, Hearing Humor, Hearing Limerick, Sex Humor, Sex Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Communication Humor, Dating Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on A Failure To Communicate (Limerick)
Saturday, April 2nd, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using NOSE or KNOWS or NOES at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SECURITY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SECURITY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 17, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 16, 2022, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my NOSE or KNOWS or NOES-rhyme limerick:
A fellow named Joe often goes
To ENT docs — nasal pros.
Those rhinologists charge
Pricey fees; bills so large
That poor Joe’s forced to pay through the nose.
And here’s my SECURITY-themed limerick:
Though the homebuilder does know the score,
His computer security’s poor.
So to no one’s surprise,
He’s been hacked. You’ll surmise:
Someone readily found the back door.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Computer Humor, Computer Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Nose Humor, Nose Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Security Humor, Security Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Technology Humor | 171 Comments »
Monday, March 28th, 2022
A crazy conductor named Dick
Had a fondness for “food on a stick.”
The guy was far gone;
Used his skewer-baton
To throw food at the winds with a flick.
*****
Happy “Something On A Stick Day.” (March 28)
Tags: Baton Humor, Baton Limerick, Conductor Limerick, Conductors Humor, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Food On A Stick, Food On A Stick Day, March Holidays, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musicians Humor, Odd Holidays, Orchestra Musicians, Skewer Humor, Something On A Stick Day, Woodwinds Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Sunday, March 27th, 2022
An old-fashioned barber (and knave)
While at work, tried his best to behave.
But alas, he went nuts;
Stabbed two customers’ guts…
And a third had a very close shave.
Tags: Barber Humor, Barber Limerick, Beard Humor, Beard Limerick, Close Shave, Crime & Punishment Humor, Crime Limerick, Hair Humor, Hair Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on Barbaric Limerick
Wednesday, March 23rd, 2022
A man did his best to disguise
His retinal issues with lies.
When at last he sought ocular
Aid, he was jocular:
“Doc, you’re a sight for sore eyes!”
(March 23 is World Optometry Day.)
Tags: Eye Humor, Eye Limerick, Eyes Humor, Eyes Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Optometrist, Optometry Day, Optometry Humor, Optometry Limerick, Patients Humor, Patients Limerick, Vision Humor, Vision Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Vision Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, March 12th, 2022
I’ve been told to “Spring forward!” Can’t do!
With my knees? Are you kidding? I’m through:
No more jumping and running
And springing! I’m shunning
Such acts. You mean “clock movement?” Whew!
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Limerick, Clocks Limerick, Daylight Saving Time, Daylight Savings Time, DST, DST Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Holiday Poetry, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, SpringForward, SpringForwardDay, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Seasons Humor, Time Humor | Comments Off on An Age Old Protest (Limerick)
Monday, January 24th, 2022
Some say Omicron cases are peaking.
Do they know that of which they are speaking?
We are all on the ropes,
So don’t lift up our hopes
Just to dash them again … cuz we’re freaking!
Tags: Anxiety Limerick, Coronavirus, Covid Vaccine, Covid-19, Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Health Limericks, Omicron
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, December 18th, 2021
This limerick would, alas, be timely, even if today (December 18) weren’t “World Knot Tying Day.”
A woman was tied up in knots
Over Covid. She feared for her tots.
Said her husband, “No vax!
I’d rather eat wax!”
In their fam’ly, the dolt calls the shots.
Tags: Covid Humor, Covid Limerick, December Holidays, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Knots Humor, Knots Limerick, Knotting Tying Day, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Odd Holidays
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Tied Up In Knots (Limerick)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2021
To mix, or to match — I’m confused:
Which booster vaccine should be used?
More Moderna? Some Pfizer?
I need an adviser!
By which shot should my shoulder be bruised?
Tags: Booster Shot, Covid Limerick, Covid Pandemic, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Medical Humor, Medical Limerick, Moderna Vaccine, Pandemic, Pfizer Vaccine, Vaccine Humor, Vaccine Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on To Mix, Or To Match; That Is The Question (Limerick)
Friday, October 22nd, 2021
Celebrate “National Knee Day?” Not me!
Say “hip, hip, hooray!” cuz it’s Knee Day?
I don’t find it a Fills-Me-With-Glee day.
Any “climb those stairs” stance
Makes my knees look askance,
So it’s more of a Please-Function-Plea day.
Tags: Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Knee Day, Limbs Humor, Limbs Limerick, National Knee Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Not Kneeling For “Knee Day” (Limerick) (October 22)
Saturday, October 16th, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DOCK or DOC at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to LIMBS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best LIMB-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 31, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 30, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DOCK or DOC-rhyme limerick:
Laryngitis was getting his goat,
So he went to a doctor of note.
“I’ve a hunch,” said the doc,
“That you talk round the clock.”
Said his patient, “Don’t jump down my throat.”
And here’s my LIMB-themed limerick:
A man with an arm in a sling
Had recently injured his wing.
He wistfully said,
“My Frisbee arm’s dead…”
Then headed for one final fling.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Arm Humor, Competition Limerick, Doctor Humor, Doctor Limericks, Frisbee, Laryngitis, Laryngitis Humor, Leg Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Medical Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Throat Humor, Throat Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Sports Humor | 195 Comments »
Monday, August 30th, 2021
“Here’s some gossip I’ve only just heard:
Jane’s engaged to a writerly nerd,
Who’s a Scrabble fanatic
And rather asthmatic.
It’s a secret, so don’t breathe a word.”
Tags: Gossip Humor, Gossip Limerick, Gossip Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Nerds, Scrabble, Secrets, Writers
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Breathless Gossip (Limerick)
Sunday, August 15th, 2021
Once I discovered that “humorous” has a homonym,” I vowed to use the two words in a limerick. And that’s harder than it sounds, because (for those unfamiliar with the stringent rules of limerick writing) words that are identical in sound do NOT rhyme.
When her humerus needed repairing,
The expense nearly made her start swearing.
But her problems, though numerous,
Struck her as humorous,
So she giggled, instead of despairing.
Tags: Anatomy Humor, Arm Humor, Homonym Limericks, Homonyms, Homophone Limericks, Homophones, Humerus, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Surgery Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Language Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | Comments Off on Boning Up On Homonyms (Limerick)
Saturday, July 10th, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using TALE OR TAIL OR ENTAIL OR CURTAIL at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to VANITY, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best VANITY-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 25, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 24, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my TALE/TAIL/ENTAIL/CURTAIL-rhyme limerick:
I’ve a crime tale entailing a tail.
Who’s the target? A male out on bail.
Law enforcement, you see,
Was convinced he would flee.
But their quarry just likes a good sail.
And here’s my VANITY-themed limerick:
A fellow who’d constantly train
Did it mostly because he was vain.
He’s paid a steep price
To simply look nice:
At thirty he’s using a cane.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Crime, Crime and Punishment, Exercise, Health Limericks, Humorous Tales, Law And Order, Law Enforcement, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Men's Vanity, Poetry & Prompts, Tails Humor, Vanity, Vanity Humor, Working Out, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 199 Comments »
Thursday, July 8th, 2021
I’m pleased that this Covid-related limerick of mine has just been published here in “Poetry and Covid.”
Manhattan’s begun to reopen;
Just in time, cuz we barely are copin’.
Cabin fever’s widespread.
Are our fav nightspots dead?
Can we still get great food there? Here’s hopin’!
Tags: Cabin Fever, Cabin Fever Humor, Covid Limerick, Covid Pandemic, Food Limerick, Manhattan Humor, New York City, New York City Dining, Nightspots Humor, Pandemic, Restaurants Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Night On The Town | Comments Off on Coping With Cabin Fever (Limerick)
Saturday, March 13th, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STATE or ESTATE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CO-WORKERS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CO-WORKERS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 28, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 27, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my State/Estate-rhyme limerick:
My neighbor was fined and then jailed.
“I will NOT wear a mask he had wailed!”
“It’s not up for debate,”
Said the judge. “In this state,
We follow the rules, and you’re nailed.”
And here’s my Co-Workers-themed limerick:
My cubicle-mate just resigned.
I’m relieved; he’s a boor unrefined,
Who chomps coffee beans — gross!
Glad to say “Adios!”
(Enough bitching! It’s back to the grind.)
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Co-Workers Limerick, Competition Limerick, Courthouse Humor, Cubicle Humor, Employment Humor, Job Humor, Judge Humor, Law And Order, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Masks Humor, Neighbors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Neighbors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 215 Comments »
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2021
What follows is:
1: A two-verse limerick about my adventures (and difficulties) in booking Covid-19 vaccine appointments in New York City for hubby Mark and me. (And yes, we both easily qualify by age.)
2: A blow by blow description of how I finally managed to snag vaccine appointments in the doesn’t-deserve-to-be-called-a-system New York Covid-19 vaccine scheduling “system.”
(I hope that the information I provide below my 2-verse limerick proves helpful to those who are having similar vaccine-booking problems, both in and outside of New York.)
Fin’lly got my first shot. So did Mark,
After problems with booking them — stark!
New York’s issue-packed system
(too many to list ’em)
Is so bad, I have fantasies — dark.
So how did I schedule our shots
In a system so tied up in knots?
“Push notifications”
Resolved our frustrations;
We were saved by some fine Twitter bots.
If you’re having problems booking Covid-19 vaccine appointments, here’s how I did it in New York City. I hope it helps you too. (Even if you live in another state, some of my info just might be applicable to you.)
1. After trying all the obvious methods for booking vaccine appointments, and failing abysmally, I searched Google to find out if anybody had created a Covid-19 vaccine appointment locator bot in New York. I used search phrases such as covid-19 vaccine New York bot and Covid-19 vaccine New York tracker bot.
This led me to these two Twitter accounts: @turbovax and @nycshotslots. (If you are having trouble getting a vaccination appointment outside of New York, try a similar search for your own state. And if you’re lucky, a Good Samaritan in your city or state created a comparable public bot. For example, this bot was designed for New Jersey residents, and this one was set up for Massachusetts residents.)
2. I went to Twitter, searched for both accounts, and clicked on “follow.” (I was already active on Twitter. However, if you’re not already a Twitter member, you’ll have to join it before benefiting from these or other Twitter bot accounts.)
3. For the next couple of weeks, I checked those New York bot Twitter accounts three or four times an hour. And from time to time, I actually found some potential appointments. Unfortunately, however, each time I went to snag a pair of appointments, I was already too late. This happened even when I started checking every five or ten minutes.
4. Finally, in desperation, I researched how to get “push notifications” from individual Twitter accounts. (In general, I hate and avoid push notifications. But this situation called for emergency measures!)
Fortunately, setting up Twitter push notifications on my laptop turned out to be very simple: All I had to do was return to the home pages of each of those two accounts I was already following (@turbovax and @nycshotslots) and click on the icon immediately to the left of the word “following.” (The icon looks like a bell with a plus sign.) Clicking on it turns on push notifications for that specific Twitter feed, and you’ll know it’s properly set up because after clicking on it, it will turn as dark blue as your “following” indicator button.
5. From then on, as long as I was near my laptop (and the sound was on) I’d hear a sound indicating that one of those two accounts had just tweeted. Additionally a visible notice would flash, then disappear very quickly.
6. As soon as I saw or heard one of those “push notifications” I headed to Twitter to read the latest bot tweets and see if it was for appointment locations/dates that might work for us. And the second I saw one that might be good, I clicked on the site, filled out the forms, and was able to successfully book appointments for both Mark and myself.
Even then, acting so swiftly, I ended up with appointments for us on consecutive days, and not the theoretically more desirable same day. But that actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because parking was impossible at that location (Hillcrest High School, Jamaica Queens, NY.)
So Mark and I took turns on consecutive appointment days, remaining in the driver’s seat, illegally parked in front of someone’s driveway with the blinkers on, ready to move the car at a moment’s notice, for as long as it took for the non-car-baby-sitter to get his/her shot.
Mark and I are both very relieved to have gotten our first shots and to have dates scheduled for our second shots. And I hope you too either have gotten (or will soon get) your Covid vaccine shots.
I also hope that you found this info helpful or, at least, enjoyed my limerick.
*****
FYI, here’s a non-Twitter New York State-wide bot that I haven’t tried, because I discovered it after booking our appointments.
Tags: Computer Advice, Coronavirus, Covid Vaccination, Covid Vaccine, Covid Vaccine Bot, Covid-19, Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Health Limericks, New York, New York City, New York City Verse, Technology Advice, Technology Limerick, Twitter Verse, Vaccination Limerick, Vaccine Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Robot Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor, Twitter Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, January 26th, 2021
I looked out the window. Saw snow.
How severe is the forecast? Don’t know.
I’d prefer a short flurry.
But why should I worry?
With Covid, there’s nowhere to go.
Tags: Coronavirus, Covid-19, Epidemic, Health & Medical Humor, New York Weather, Pandemic, Seasonal Humor, Seasonal Limerick, Snow, Weather Limerick, Winter Humor
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, December 30th, 2020
Here’s hoping your new year is great!
(2020 sure sucked — no debate.)
If the new vaccines work,
And Mitch ISN’T a jerk,
We just might have a year we don’t hate.
Tags: 2020, 2021, Covid-19, Donald Trump, Health & Medical Humor, Mitch McConnell, New Year Humor, New Year's Eve, New Year's Limerick, Pandemic
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Political Satire | 1 Comment »