Archive for the ‘Health Verse’ Category
Sunday, May 19th, 2024
“I’m afraid of long tunnels! Can’t do it,”
Said a claustrophobe. “Stop, or you’ll rue it!”
“Close your eyes and don’t whine,”
Said his wife. “You’ll be fine!
You can open them now. You got through it!”
Tags: Claustrophobia, Driving Humor, Driving Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Mental Health Humor, Mental Health Limerick, Tunnel Humor, Tunnel Limerick, Tunnels
Posted in Car & Driving Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mental Health Humor | Comments Off on Tunnel Vision (Limerick)
Saturday, March 9th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SHOT or SHOTS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PICTURES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PICTURE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
AMUSING, DOCTOR, NEUROTIC, POSTPONE, VANITY.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 7, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 6, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SHOT or SHOTS-Rhyme Limerick:
“That damn bartender’s AWOL,” said Scott
To his prep cook. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
“Though I’ve never mixed drinks,
I can do it, methinks,
So I gladly will give it a shot.”
And here’s my Picture-Themed Limerick:
“Gotta rush to the bookshop. I’m late!
I am meeting another blind date.
And that chick better look
Like her pic, or I’ll book
It, cuz boy, am I sick of pic-bait!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
An old woman who loved to complain,
Was neurotic and stubborn and vain.
When her doctor prescribed
Her a cane, the gal gibed:
“That will ruin my look. Where’s your brain?”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Bartender Humor, Bartender Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Beverage Humor, Blind Date Humor, Competition Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deception Humor, Doctor Humor, Doctor Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Vanity Humor, Vanity Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 122 Comments »
Thursday, February 22nd, 2024
My poor stomach is tied up in knots,
Cuz I’m being assaulted by bots.
They are clogging both blogs,
Email’s gone to the dogs,
And I’m drowning in spam. (Hence the trots.)
Tags: Blogging Humor, Blogging Limerick, Bot Humor, Bot Limerick, Computer Humor, Computer Limerick, Digestion Humor, Digestion Limerick, Email Humor, Email Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Spam Humor, Spam Limerick, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick
Posted in Blogging Humor, Computer Humor, Email Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Robot Humor, Spam Humor, Technology Humor | Comments Off on Bot Attack (Limerick)
Saturday, February 10th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WRY or RYE or AWRY at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TEETH, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TOOTH/TEETH-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
LOOK, MESSY, PROOF, RIDDLE, UNFAIR.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 10, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 9, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my WRY or RYE or AWRY-Rhyme Limerick:
Mary’s husband, an insecure guy,
Often asked her, “Is something awry?”
For he feared that his bride
Would soon cast him aside,
Whenever he heard his wife sigh.
“Nothing’s wrong,” she would always reply.
Until one day, she let out a cry,
Saying (weary with rage)
“That damn query’s not sage!
Ask it just one more time, and you DIE!”
Here’s my TOOTH/TEETH-Themed Limerick:
“On your X-rays, I’m seeing decay,”
Said the dentist. “You’ve quite an array
Of molars that must
Be attended to. Just
Pay this sizeable invoice today.”
And here’s my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
“Your article’s riddled with flaws.
Did you proof this? Please look at this clause:
It runs on forever.
So publish this? Never!
Your writing endeavor? Lost cause!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Competition Limerick, Dental Humor, Dental Limerick, Insecurity Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Teeth Humor, Teeth Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 134 Comments »
Monday, December 25th, 2023
Said the patient, “My broken arm itches.
It hurts me and frequently twitches.
So take off this cast!
Do it now! Do it fast!”
Said the doc with a laugh, “I’m in stitches.”
Tags: Arm Casts, Broken Arm, Cast Humor, Doctor Humor, Doctor Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Medical Humor, Medical Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on The Difficult Patient (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 13th, 2023
Notwithstanding this limerick, I do stretching exercises daily:
It’s important to stretch, so I’m told.
Some claim it fights pain when you’re old.
I prefer not to kvetch,
But that feels like a stretch…
Though with luck, it might fend off a cold.
(“National Stretching Day” falls on December 11th.)
Tags: December Holidays, Exercise Humor, Exercise Limerick, Odd Holidays, Stretching, Stretching Day, Stretching Humor
Posted in Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Stressed About Stretching? (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 4th, 2023
I sometimes feel hearty and hale,
And at other times, dauntingly frail.
When the latter takes hold,
I feel achy and old
And have droll thoughts like “maybe try kale.”
(National Kale Day falls on the first Wednesday of October.)
Tags: Aging Humor, Aging Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Kale Day, Kale Humor, Kale Limerick, National Kale Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Vegetables Humor, Vegetables Limerick
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Droll Thoughts (Limerick)
Sunday, September 3rd, 2023
When I’m asked, “What’s your least fav invention?”
I waver: “Too many to mention!”
But when pressed, I select
The stiletto; feet wrecked
By the score just for leggy extension!
(National High Heels Day is celebrated on May 20.)
Tags: Feet Humor, Foot Humor, High Heels, Inventions, Shoes Humor, Shoes Limerick, Stilettos
Posted in Clothing Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Physical Appearance | Comments Off on What Heel Invented Stilettos? (Limerick)
Thursday, July 27th, 2023
An old doctor was filled with alarm;
She had lost her beloved lucky charm.
Though she found it quite fast,
Her relief did not last,
For, alas, it was still on her arm.
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Limerick, Jewelry Humor, Memory Humor, Memory Limerick, Mental Health Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Memory Humor, Mental Health Humor | 1 Comment »
Friday, June 30th, 2023
Canadian smoke has returned;
Acrid remnants of forests that burned
Nowhere near New York City
Have turned our air gritty.
That stroll I attempted? Adjourned!
Tags: Canada, Forest Fires, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, New York City, Outdoor Activity Humor, Outdoors Verse, Smokers Limerick
Posted in Canada, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor | Comments Off on Smoky Days Are Here Again (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 21st, 2023
This headline reminded me that today (June 21) is International Day Of Yoga: “International Yoga Day: PM Modi leads celebrations at UN Headquarters in New York”.
So it’s time for yet another yoga-related limerick:
I used to do yoga most days.
It was more than a health-conscious phase.
But I did it MY way;
Certain moves were a NAY
To avoid setting bad wrists ablaze.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Health Limericks, International Day of Yoga, International Yoga Day, June Holidays, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, PM Modi, Relaxation Humor, Sports Limerick, Stress Humor, United Nations, World Yoga Day, Yoga Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Celebrity Humor, Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy Yoga Day! (Limerick)
Friday, June 2nd, 2023
My knees are at last on the mend.
They even (reluctantly) bend.
Are they trek-worthy? No!
But they’ll go to and fro
Sev’ral blocks. (Just don’t make them ascend!)
Tags: Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Knee Limerick, Knees, Walking Humor, Walking Limerick
Posted in Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Walking Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, April 15th, 2023
For an upcoming interview, I was asked why I hadn’t written any acrostic limericks since 2015. The question surprised me, because I was certain this couldn’t be true. As it turns out, I’ve written quite a few since then, but never got around to posting them on this blog. For instance, here’s a quartet of acrostic limericks I wrote in 2019 for a contest, but forgot (until now) to post on my blog:
I’m alarmed when mosquitoes come near.
They adore me, I fear. Ev’ry year,
Come what may, I get bitten.
How come? Cuz they’re smitten.
Yes, THAT’S why I’m scratching my rear.
An acrostical challenge in verse
Leads this poet to mutter and curse;
Penning lines so constrained
Has my mind frazzled, pained,
As each version, perversely, is worse.
Anxiety’s cloud, oh so dense;
Neurosis can make you feel tense.
Getting out of your chair
(Somehow going somewhere)
Tends to help, so let healing commence.
How I love to draw laughs or a smile,
Using lim’ricks to banish the bile
Many people amass.
Only wit helps it pass;
Rhymed verse … for when life’s feeling vile.
Tags: Acrostic Limerick, Acrostic Poems, Acrostic Poetry Challenge, Acrostics Poems, Angst, Anxiety Humor, Anxiety Limerick, Insects, Limerick Writing Humor, Mosquito Humor, Mosquitoes, Stress Humor, Stress Limerick
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Acrostic Madness, Acrostic Poetry Prompts, Anxiety & Stress, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Insect Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, March 13th, 2023
An adventurous person? Hee-hee!
I’m a bit of a coward, you see.
So to physical risks,
I say “No!” All my discs
And my bones seem essential to me.
Tags: Accidents, Adventurers, Adventures Limerick, Bones Humor, Health, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limericks, Injury Humor, Injury Verse, Sports Humor, Sports Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Hobbies Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Personal, Physical Appearance, Sports Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, March 11th, 2023
If you live in a part of our nation
That creates DST irritation
Via forward or back
Clock adjustments, alack!
Spring ahead for some sleep deprivation!
Tags: Clock Humor, Daylight Saving Time, Daylight Savings Time, DST Humor, DST Limerick, Insomnia Humor, Insomnia Limerick, March Holidays, Sleep Humor, Sleep Limerick, SpringForward, SpringForwardDay, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Celebrity Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Seasons Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Time Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To DST
Thursday, February 9th, 2023
A lawyer whose molar was aching
Lambasted a bakery’s baking:
Said his tooth had been marred
By a dangerous shard—
A shakedown, methinks, in the making.
(National Toothache Day falls on February 9.)
Tags: Bakery, Baking Humor, Dental Humor, Dentist Humor, Dentist Limerick, February Holidays, Food Humor, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Lawyer Limerick, Tooth Humor, Tooth Limerick, Toothache Day
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on A Cooked Up Complaint? (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 13th, 2022
A fellow who plays violin
Bears his neck pain with grace and a grin:
“Yes the problem is big,
But it comes with the gig;
I must take all my aches on the chin.”
(December 13th is National Violin Day.)
Tags: December Holidays, Music, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musical Instruments, Musical Instruments Humor, Musical Verse, Musician Humor, National Violin Day, Odd Holidays, Violin Day, Violin Humor, Violin Limerick, Violin Verse
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on The Violinist’s Plight (Limerick)
Saturday, November 5th, 2022
Tags: Clocks Limerick, Daylight Savings Time, DST Humor, Eastern Time, Insomnia, Insomnia Humor, Insomnia Verse, Sleep, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Seasons Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Time Humor | Comments Off on Here We Go Again With The Clocks (Haiku)
Tuesday, July 5th, 2022
A young lass liked a fellow a lot,
But his anti-vax views were a blot.
So she thwarted his pass
When she grasped that, alas,
He would never give vaxes a shot.
Tags: Date Humor, Date Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Love Humor, Love Limerick, Political Arguments, Political Humor, Romance Humor, Romancing Limerick, Vaccine Humor, Vaccine Limerick, Vax Humor, Vax Limerick
Posted in Dating Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Romance Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, May 30th, 2022
Who hasn’t discovered a gap
Where you once had a crown or a cap?
Then you search high and low.
Where the hell did it go?
If you’re lucky, it fell in your lap.
But more likely, it’s gone or destroyed;
Need a new one to fill that damn void.
You’re apparently fucked;
That doc you have ducked
For years must, alas, be employed.
Tags: Dental Humor, Dental Limerick, Dentist Humor, Dentist Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Teeth Humor, Teeth Limerick, Tooth Humor, Tooth Limerick
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 1 Comment »
