To the “doctor” who wants to be pals:
All your “follows” on Facebook are gals.
Plus “your” pics look too dishy.
Both factors seem fishy.
Go phish in some other locales!
Archive for the ‘Friendship Humor’ Category
The Disgruntled Client (2-Verse Limerick)
Saturday, April 13th, 2024The defendant (young Teddy) was tense,
For his trial was about to commence.
He had troubles — a pile,
And his lawyer (pal Kyle)
Lost his file and appeared to be dense.
Teddy yelled: “You are fired. The end!
You have driven me over the bend!”
“This is YOUR fault,” said Kyle,
With a slippery smile.
“No one told you to hire a friend!”
Betrayal (Limerick)
Monday, October 9th, 2023A woman was feeling embattled
And more than a little bit rattled;
After telling “friend” Jake
Something secret, the snake
Quickly texted a journo and tattled.
The Confession (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 27th, 2023Said a gal to her closest friend Jean:
“Did you sleep with my boyfriend? Come clean!”
Jean confessed: “Don’t be pissed!
I told him, ‘Desist!’
Seems his language skills aren’t too keen.”
What’s Your Name Again? (Limerick)
Monday, July 3rd, 2023My mem’ry is dreadfully bad;
Be you friend or a foe, kind or cad,
I am bound to forget
Your name, though we’ve met
More than once. Please, oh please don’t be mad!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BLUE or BLEW at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 7, 2023)
Saturday, December 10th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BLUE or BLEW at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RELIGION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RELIGION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: NAME, NAUSEOUS, PROFIT, TEASE, SILVER.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 8, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 7, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BLUE or BLEW-Rhyme Limerick:
A litigious old fellow was blue.
His friends (he had only a few)
Asked “Why the bad mood?”
The response from that dude
Was “I’ve run out of people to sue!”
And here’s my RELIGION-Themed Limerick:
A man of the cloth would not share
His frank with his date at the fair.
“That’s unfair,” she cried out.
“I gave you my kraut.
So canoodle tonight? Not a prayer!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
There is someone I could (but won’t) name
Who makes me feel nauseous. My aim
Isn’t testing or teasing;
He’s just so displeasing,
I’d rather not add to his fame.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Secret Affairs (Limerick)
Monday, October 18th, 2021Two women, good friends, worked backstage.
Each was “dating” a man half her age:
A man on the crew.
Which one? Neither knew.
It turns out, both were on the same Page.
This Invention Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)
Saturday, June 14th, 2014This Invention Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m vexed and a little perplexed
By the concept of smells sent by text.
I do not mean to vent,
But don’t send me a scent,
Or our friendship is apt to be exed.
(Harvard engineering professor David Edwards and co-inventor Rachel Fields have invented an aromatic mobile messaging device called an oPhone that sends and receives scents.)
Regifting Gone Wrong (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 19th, 2012Here’s a 2-verse limerick to celebrate National Regifting Day (3rd Thursday of December.)
Regifting Gone Wrong
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was trying to sift
Through items to maybe regift.
But alas, she confused
The stuff she perused.
I suspect that some folks will be miffed.
A fruitcake went back to the sender,
And the same thing occurred with a blender.
Then a gift from her brother
Got sent to her mother.
Her relationships now need a mender.
Freedom Loving Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, July 3rd, 2011It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. (Just because it’s Independence Day Weekend, doesn’t mean I’m free to ignore my versifying duties.)
So here’s the deal: I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who always felt free…
or
A woman who always felt free…
Here’s mine:
Freedom Loving Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who always felt free
To do what he wanted with glee
Applied freedom one way,
Saying “Do what I say,”
To all, so his friend list was wee.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Aging Musically (Haiku)
Saturday, March 12th, 2011Nursing nostalgia,
the tribute bands play covers —
relive what wasn’t.
*****
The injured cellist,
forced to bow out of concerts,
retires her bow.
*****
The big bands play swing —
old couples dance joyously,
then reclaim their canes.
*****
Three childhood friendships —
treasured, instrumental —
piano, oboe, flute.
*****
(The first haiku was inspired by Writer’s Island’s tribute theme. The fourth haiku was inspired by Monday Memories’ friendship theme.)
Educational Limerick
Tuesday, July 20th, 2010I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman with sev’ral degrees…
Here’s mine:
Educational Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman with sev’ral degrees
Fell in love with an ill-informed sleaze.
Her friends disapproved
And warned it behooved
Her to drop him and find a new squeeze.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Planning To Travel With Friends? Are You Sure That’s Wise?
Thursday, January 17th, 2008Years ago I wrote a humorous joint travel contract for the Philadelphia Inquirer. I’ve been meaning to post it on this blog, but I keep forgetting. And Sunday Scribblings’ post about fellow travelers has prompted me to finally do it:
Revel With A Clause
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Your closest friends keep badgering you to join them on a trip. You’re running out of excuses and may be forced to go along. Can friendship survive seven days of constant contact? Will you loathe each other by the time you return?
Joint vacations can be a challenge to any relationship. But with patience, a sense of humor and the help of this agreement, you can take that trip and keep your friendship intact.
AGREEMENT entered into this __________, 20__ by two close couples who would like to remain friends.
WHEREAS, Couples A and B are about to embark on a shared vacation;
WHEREAS, Couple B would rather stay home, but has agreed to give this trip a try;
WHEREAS, Couples want to work out ground rules so their friendship won’t self-destruct.
NOW, THEREFORE, Couples agree to the following vacation terms:
1. The trip shall commence on a date determined after consulting Couples’ children, employers, and baby-sitters. It shall not involve backpacks or a tent.
2. Once a date has been chosen, Couples shall enter into vacation spot negotiations. The following factors shall be duly considered in the course of site selection:
(a.) Wife A burns if she glances out a window.
(b.) Wife B loves to sprawl out on the beach.
(c.) Husband A considers himself an art aficionado.
(d.) Husband B admires prints of large-eyed tots. … (Revel With A Clause is continued here.)
