Archive for the ‘Food & Drink Humor’ Category
Thursday, August 21st, 2014
Elephant Dung Coffee Beans? I’ll Pass! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This brew concept’s hard to digest.
It’s a crappy plan — far from the best:
Amp up elephant mash
With coffee beans. Rash?
Grab a stool and retrieve. Have a fest!
*****
Yes, Canadian entrepreneur Blake Dinkin produces Black Ivory Coffee in Thailand’s “Golden Triangle” via elephant dung. Of course his website describes it rather more genteelly as “Naturally refined by elephants and made from 100% Thai Arabica coffee beans.”
*****
I previously wrote about Chinese panda-dung giftware on my other blog.
Tags: Caffeine Humor, Coffee Beans, Coffee Drinks Humor, Coffee Verse, Dung Humor, Elephant Dung, Elephant Humor, Excrement Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Elephant Dung Coffee Beans? I’ll Pass! (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 20th, 2014
A Lemon Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Turn lemons to lemonade?” Ugh!
Such advice sounds to me oh so smug.
No I won’t sugar-coat,
Cuz it sticks in my throat.
But turn lemons to lim’ricks? We’ll hug.
Happy National Lemonade Day! (For some odd reason, it’s celebrated both on August 20th and on the first Sunday of May.)
Tags: Advice, Annoying Advice, Aphorism Humor, August Holidays, Drink Verse, Fruit Limerick, Lemonade, Lemons, Maxims, May Holidays, National Lemonade Day, Odd Holidays, Optimism, Pessimism
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Aphorisms, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Self-Help Humor | 3 Comments »
Saturday, August 16th, 2014
Happy National Rum Day! (August 16)
Limerick For National Rum Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal called her husband a lout
And threatened to highball it out
If he kept drinking rum.
He at first was struck dumb,
Then obligingly switched up to stout.
Tags: Alcoholic Poems, August Holidays, Beer, Drinking Limerick, Family & Relatives Humor, Liquor Humor, Marriage Humor, National Rum Day, Odd Holidays, Rum Humor, Stout
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick For National Rum Day
Monday, August 4th, 2014
Limerick Ode To Kale
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Woe is me! There’s a shortage of kale,”
Bitter health nuts are starting to wail.
Seems there ain’t enough seeds
To meet all their needs.
Tell you what — I’ll my own kale curtail.
Tags: Food Humor, Food Verse, Health Nuts, Kale Humor, Vegans, Vegetable Humor, Vegetarians Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Friday, August 1st, 2014
Bar Talk Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man had enjoyed a good year
And was trying to spread some good cheer.
But others whose luck
Had been worse said, “Hey schmuck,
Just stop talking and pay for our beer.”
Happy International Beer Day! (First Friday in August)
Tags: Alcohol Verse, August Holidays, Beer, Beer Humor, Beer Limerick, Drink Verse, Drinking Humor, new years, Odd Holidays
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Bar Talk (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 29th, 2014
Distilling The Truth
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Don’t sulk, but the bulk of the rye
Labeled heirloom’s a hand-crafted lie;
Many crafty booze sellers
Are re-seller fellers–
Small-batch fees for a factory buy.
*****
Yes that special, hand-crafted, small-batch, artisan, heirloom whiskey may really come from MGP, a large factory/distillery in Indiana.
Tags: Alcohol Verse, Artisan Liquor, Distillery, Drinking Limerick, Gin Humor, Hand-Crafted Whiskey, Indiana, Lawrenceburg, Marketing Humor, MGP, Rye Whiskey, Whiskey
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, July 22nd, 2014
According to this video, I’m not the only person who sometimes finds bathroom signs confusing.
Bathroom Signs Shouldn’t Be In Code (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sipping drinks at a trendy new bar,
I’m hoping the john isn’t far.
I rush off on my quest
For a bathroom addressed
To my needs and find symbols bizarre.
So which one’s for gals? Which for guys?
Posting puzzles for drinkers ain’t wise.
I start ravin’: “Be clear!
Tell us ‘Females Go Here.'”
But alas, I must guess and … surprise!
I walk in and find menfolk galore,
Lots of urinals, yellow-soaked floor.
And the smell — unfresh hell —
Sends me rushing pell mell
To the john meant for me. Nevermore!
Tags: Bar Humor, Bathroom Humor, Bathroom Signs, Gender Humor, Public Bathroom Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, July 19th, 2014
Harvard students cook up another great idea: cake from a can.
Genius? Or Half-Baked? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Kindly can any concept of cake
That you spray from a can and then bake.
Though I’m loath to be curt,
I’ll desert a dessert
That spews forth from a can. Won’t partake!
Tags: Baking Humor, Baking Limerick, Cake Humor, Food Verse, Inventions Poem, Patent Humor, Spray Cake
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Genius? Or Half-Baked? (Limerick)
Friday, July 18th, 2014
Would You Waste Your Bread On This?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Are you burning for your photo
To appear on toasted bread?
Do you sense that such a portrait
Might just help you get ahead?
Well, a spanking new invention
May be just the thing you need:
There’s a selfie-making toaster.
Butter egos … and then feed.
Tags: Bread, Food Verse, Inventions, Inventions Poem, Patent Humor, Photography Humor, Selfies Humor, Toaster, Toaster Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, July 15th, 2014
Fruity Study? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I don’t want to lead you astray,
It appears that an apple a day
Is a way to enhance
A gal’s sex life, perchance.
I’m not ribbing you. Mālum? Hooray!
According to a sex study with a rather small sample size, apples might possibly be a libido booster.
Tags: Apple Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Food Humor, Fruit Limerick, Health Limericks, Libido Humor, Medical Studies Humor, Science Humor, Science Verse, Scientific Study Humor, Sex Life Humor
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Science Humor | Comments Off on Fruity Study? (Limerick)
Saturday, July 12th, 2014
Happy National French Fries Day (July 13.)
Fried Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I am not a big fan of French fries.
I don’t find them a sight for sore eyes.
(A sore stomach, perchance.)
Belgium fries, though, entrance.
But neither is wise for one’s thighs.
Tags: Belgium Fries, Calorie Limericks, Food Humor, Food Limerick, French Fries Day, French Fry Day, Health Limericks, July Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Monday, July 7th, 2014
Charlotte’s Ruse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Ms. Charlotte was trying to fix
Choc’late brownies by using a mix.
Then she buried the box
Under undies and sox,
And declared them homemade. (They were bricks.)
Happy World Chocolate Day! (July 7)
December 8 is “National Brownie Day.”
Tags: Brownie Day, Chocolate Poem, December Holidays, Food Verse, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, World Chocolate Day
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, June 18th, 2014
Are you celebrating Sushi Day today? Not me!
My Raw Aversion (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The thought of raw fish makes me ill,
And though many love sushi, a drill
That’s invading my tooth
Is more welcome, in truth,
Than such super-rare swill on the bill.
Tags: Dentist Drill, Fish Limerick, Food Verse, June Holidays, Odd Holidays, Raw Fish, Sashimi Humor, Sushi Humor, Tooth Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on My Raw Aversion (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 11th, 2014
Limerick Ode To The Stove
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A stove is a handy device.
For cooking, some say, it works nice.
I can’t speak to that fact,
For I don’t interact
Well with kitchens. I can, though, boil rice.
Today in Kitchen History: On June 11, 1793, Robert Haeterick was granted the first American stove patent for a stove design of cast iron.
Tags: Food Humor, Food Verse, Inventions Poem, Inventors, Kitchen Limerick, Patent Humor, Rice, Robert Haeterick, Robert Heterick, Science Advances, Science Humor, Stove Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Science Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, June 4th, 2014
Limerick Ode To The Shopping Cart
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sylvan Goldman designed something smart;
He invented the food shopping cart.
With its basket, it aids
In a task that pervades
All our lives — buying stuff at the mart.
On June 4, 1937, Humpty Dumpty supermarket chain owner Sylvan Goldman introduced his invention, the shopping cart, in Oklahoma City.
The invention did not catch on immediately. Men found them effeminate; women found them suggestive of a baby carriage. “I’ve pushed my last baby buggy,” offended women informed him. After hiring several male and female models to push his new invention around his store and demonstrate their utility, as well as greeters to explain their use, his folding-style shopping carts became extremely popular and Goldman became a multimillionaire by collecting a royalty on every folding design shopping cart in the United States.
Tags: Errands Humor, Household Chores, Humpty Dumpty, Inventions Poem, June Holidays, Odd Holidays, Patent Humor, Shopping Verse, Supermarket Aisles, Sylvan Goldman
Posted in Chores Humor, Food & Drink Humor, House & Home Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Shopping Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To The Shopping Cart
Saturday, May 31st, 2014
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
Her eyes were the color of slate…*
or
I’m forgetful — my mind’s a blank slate…*
or
The roofer was working with slate…*
or
Let’s start over, I’m begging — clean slate…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Slate
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Let’s start over, I’m begging — clean slate.
I’ll make sure that our next date is great.
Last night’s dinner, it’s true
Was no winner, dear Sue.
But I vow to step up to the plate.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 58 Comments »
Wednesday, May 21st, 2014
Heated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Chipotle says no packing heat
When you come to their rest’rants to eat.
This makes sense, cuz their food’s
Hot enough. Gals and dudes
Should save gunplay for home and the street.
Tags: Chipotle, Dallas Texas, Food Limerick, Gun Bans, Gun Humor, Gun Limerick, Gun Rights, Restaurants Humor, Weapons
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Weapons Humor | Comments Off on Heated Limerick
Tuesday, May 13th, 2014
Limerick Ode To The Cocktail
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We celebrate cocktails in May:
May 13th is “World Cocktail Day.” Yay!
But I hope you won’t laugh
When I say on behalf
Of its worshippers: Why just one day?
(On May 13, 1806, The Balance and Columbian Repository, an upstate New York newspaper, published the first known definition of the word “cock-tail,” as “a stimulating liquor, composed of spirits of any kind, sugar, water and bitters.”)
Tags: Alcoholic Poems, Beverages, Drink Verse, Drinking Humor, Drinking Limerick, Liquor Humor, May Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Monday, April 21st, 2014
Mark (unlike me) follows the Passover dietary rules. And now that the end’s in sight, he’s practically panting in anticipation of pizza and pasta.
Pasta Dreams (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband’s excitement is rising.
His mood’s leavened, which isn’t surprising.
Cuz Passover week
Is soon ending its streak;
Bread and pasta-decriminalizing.
Tags: April Holidays, Bread, Dietary Rules, Jewish Holidays, Jewish Humor, Matza Humor, Matzo Humor, Matzoh Humor, Passover, Pasta Humor, Pizza Humor, Religion Humor, Unleavened Bread
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Jewish Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, April 15th, 2014
Passing Over Some Rules (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though I’m Jewish, I’m still eating bread
And refuse to munch matzo instead.
I spurn rules all the time,
Except canons of rhyme
And of meter … so don’t be misled.
Tags: April Holidays, Bread, Jewish Holidays, Jewish Humor, Matza Humor, Matzo Humor, Matzoh Humor, Meter Humor, Passover, Passover Humor, Religion Humor, Rhyme Humor, Unleavened Bread, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Jewish Humor, Limericks, Religion Verse, Writing & Publishing Humor | 1 Comment »
