Archive for the ‘Food & Drink Humor’ Category
Sunday, December 15th, 2024
Today (December 15) is International Tea Day. (It’s also celebrated on May 21.)
Cappuccino’s my drink. Please, no tea!
Don’t bring green, black, or white. Leave me be!
No, I DON’T long for oolong.
I KNOW not to brew long.
Happy “Tea Day” to all, except ME!
Tags: Cappuccino Humor, Cappuccino Limerick, December Holidays, Drinking Humor, Drinking Limerick, Odd Holiday, Odd Holidays, Tea Humor, Tea Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | No Comments »
Saturday, December 14th, 2024
Today (December 14) is “National Screwdriver Day.”
It is “Screwdriver Day” — not the tool,
But the cocktail. So go ahead — drool.
Never tried one? You should!
It’s surprisingly good.
Just ignore those who claim it ain’t cool.
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Alcohol Limerick, Alcohol Verse, December Holidays, Drink Humor, Drink Limerick, Drinks Humor, Odd Holidays, Orange Juice, Screwdriver Day, Screwdrivers, Tools Humor, Vodka, Vodka Humor, Vodka Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | No Comments »
Sunday, November 24th, 2024
After learning that today is National Sardines Day, I felt compelled to pen this limerick:
How I loathe the vile smell of sardines.
It’s far worse than the farts caused by beans.
When my spouse grabs a can
Of those critters… oh, man,
I must flee, lest I sully my jeans.
Tags: Food Humor, Food Limerick, Marriage Humor, Sardines, Sardines Humor, Sardines Limerick, Smell Humor, Smell Limerick
Posted in Clothing Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Smell Humor | No Comments »
Saturday, April 27th, 2024
“Tell me, why are you dating that bum?”
Said a gal to her strict-vegan chum.
“Yes, that fellow’s no saint,
But the man sure can paint!
Plus the guy has a very green thumb.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Green Thumb, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick, Vegan Humor, Vegan Limerick, Vegetable Humor, Vegetable Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on Bad Taste? (Limerick)
Saturday, March 9th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SHOT or SHOTS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PICTURES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PICTURE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
AMUSING, DOCTOR, NEUROTIC, POSTPONE, VANITY.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 7, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 6, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SHOT or SHOTS-Rhyme Limerick:
“That damn bartender’s AWOL,” said Scott
To his prep cook. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
“Though I’ve never mixed drinks,
I can do it, methinks,
So I gladly will give it a shot.”
And here’s my Picture-Themed Limerick:
“Gotta rush to the bookshop. I’m late!
I am meeting another blind date.
And that chick better look
Like her pic, or I’ll book
It, cuz boy, am I sick of pic-bait!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
An old woman who loved to complain,
Was neurotic and stubborn and vain.
When her doctor prescribed
Her a cane, the gal gibed:
“That will ruin my look. Where’s your brain?”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Bartender Humor, Bartender Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Beverage Humor, Blind Date Humor, Competition Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deception Humor, Doctor Humor, Doctor Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Vanity Humor, Vanity Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 122 Comments »
Tuesday, February 13th, 2024
Why bathe, when a shower is handy?
Dirty water and soap scum ain’t dandy!
Though I’m forced to concede
That in tubs you can read…
Plus it’s tough to, while show’ring, sip brandy.
Tags: Bath Humor, Bath Limerick, Bathing Humor, Bathing Limerick, Brandy Humor, Cleaning Humor, Reading Humor, Relaxation Humor, Shower Humor, Shower Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Thursday, January 25th, 2024
A powerful felon named Paul
Got embroiled at a bar in a brawl.
It’s still going on now.
Root against him? And how!
He is headed, I hope, for a fall.
Tags: Felons Humor, Felons Limerick, Fight Humor, Fight Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limericks
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on The Brawl (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2024
The temptress exclaimed, “Take a lick.
But hurry! You must make it quick,
Or I’ll eat it alone.
Hey, you’ve broken my cone.
Ice cream’s melting all over your… Ick!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, January 16th, 2024
“Work’s a slog,” grumbled Bob on his blog.
“I’m bogged down in my backlog; a cog
On a wheel that won’t stop.
I must go till I drop,
Though there’s time for a… Who stole my grog?!?”
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Beverage Humor, Career Humor, Career Limerick, Career Poem, Drinking Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on The Grumbly Staffer (Limerick)
Saturday, December 16th, 2023
“Let’s not eat here,” said Brad. “It’s for nerds.
And I’ve heard that the food tastes like turds.”
But Brad’s meal-mate insisted
And raved: “Can’t resist it!”
Brad ended up eating his words.
Tags: Dining Humor, Dining Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Idioms Humor, Idioms Limerick, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on Dickering Over Dining (Limerick)
Thursday, December 14th, 2023
It’s “Screwdriver Day.” Yay! Hooray!
Which type should be cheered? Well, they say
It’s the drink; not the tool.
(The reverse would be cruel.)
I intend to start early. Good day!
(National Screwdriver Day is celebrated on December 14th.)
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Alcohol Limerick, Alcohol Verse, December Holidays, Drink Humor, Drink Limerick, Drinks Humor, Odd Holidays, Orange Juice, Screwdriver Day, Screwdrivers, Tools Humor, Vodka, Vodka Humor, Vodka Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Screw It? (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 12th, 2023
“It’s Bagel Day. Buy one! Don’t dally!”
That order did NOT cause my sally
To a favorite store;
Such commands I’ll ignore,
For I always prefer a bialy.
(“National Have A Bagel Day” is celebrated on December 11th, and National Bagel Day is celebrated on January 15th.)
Tags: Bagel Day, December Holidays, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Have A Bagel Day, January Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holdays | 1 Comment »
Monday, December 4th, 2023
It’s “Cookie Day” Lovely! How sweet!
They must surely mean cookies we eat,
And not info that’s stored
By the sites we’ve explored,
For the latter ain’t always a treat!
(National Cookie Day is celebrated annually on December 4.)
Tags: Cookie Day, Cookies, Cookies Humor, Cookies Limerick, December Holidays, Food Humor, Internet Humor, Internet Limerick, Odd Holidays, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick
Posted in Computer Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Technology Humor | Comments Off on “Cookie Day” Ode (Limerick)
Friday, December 1st, 2023
“Do I eat like a horse? Nay,” said Ray.
“So stop saying I do, right away!
I stand falsely accused
And feel bruised, yet amused,
For the truth is I never touch hay!”
Tags: Accusations Humor, Accusations Limerick, Eating Humor, Eating Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Horse Humor, Horse Limerick
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Naysayer Ray (Limerick)
Saturday, November 11th, 2023
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CATCH or CATCHES at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to MISTAKES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best MISTAKE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
FAULTY, HUSTLE, MEAN, POT, STICK.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 10, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 9, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CATCH/CATCHES-Rhyme Limerick:
Said a woman who’d just married Irv,
“Many friends tried to stop me. What nerve!
Do I love the guy? Natch!
He’s a wonderful catch…
Though I’m keeping divorce in reserve.”
And here’s my MISTAKE-Themed Limerick:
A thickheaded fellow named Fred
Had dreamed of becoming a Fed.
But it wasn’t to be;
In an interview, he
Kept confusing “dead drop” with “drop dead.”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
“This table is sticky. Please clean it,”
Said a restaurant patron. “I mean it!”
“I’ll be glad to,” the server
Replied with great fervor.
“But I can’t find my rag. Have you seen it?
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Competition Limerick, Divorce Humor, Food Humor, Interview Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 152 Comments »
Sunday, October 22nd, 2023
“Chef, your food has a terrible taste!
Take it back! You prepared it in haste,”
Griped a large, nasty man.
The reply, said deadpan:
“Well at least it won’t go to your waist.”
Tags: Chef Humor, Chef Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Food Poem, Food Verse, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on The Dissatisfied Patron (Limerick)
Friday, October 20th, 2023
The chef was a world-famous man,
Whose cuisine had its roots in Spokane.
But his famed bistro failed
And his customers bailed.
Seems success was a flash in the pan.
(International Chefs Day falls on October 20th.)
Tags: Chef Day, Chef Humor, Chef Limerick, Chefs Day, Fame Humor, Fame Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, October Holidays, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick
Posted in Business Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Hail To The Chef (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 4th, 2023
I sometimes feel hearty and hale,
And at other times, dauntingly frail.
When the latter takes hold,
I feel achy and old
And have droll thoughts like “maybe try kale.”
(National Kale Day falls on the first Wednesday of October.)
Tags: Aging Humor, Aging Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Kale Day, Kale Humor, Kale Limerick, National Kale Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Vegetables Humor, Vegetables Limerick
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Droll Thoughts (Limerick)
Thursday, September 21st, 2023
“Your masala’s delicious! Great flavor,”
Raved a customer, currying favor.
Then she added, “But please
Make it hotter. Don’t tease!”
Said the chef, “Fine, but first sign this waiver!”
Tags: Chef Humor, Chef Limerick, Curry, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Hot Spicy Food, Indian Food, Masala, Negotiation, Negotiations Limerick, Restaurant, Restaurant Humor, Waivers
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Food & Drink Humor, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on The Negotiation (Limerick)
Saturday, August 26th, 2023
I gawked at a gent just last night,
Who judiciously broke up a fight
By emitting one bellow.
Seems each drunken fellow
On hearing the judge, saw the light.
Tags: Alcohol, Bar Humor, Brawling Humor, Drinking Limerick, Fight Humor, Intoxication Humor, Judge Humor, Judge Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Bar Fight (Limerick)
