Archive for the ‘Fashion Humor’ Category

Secret Shopper

Tuesday, October 17th, 2006

“I’m not going in there. No way. Forget it.”

My seventy-something mother’s stance was as rigid as her words; arms folded across her chest, unyielding legs pointed away from the shop I’d just suggested.

She and I had spent the entire afternoon combing through three department stores for the definitive pair of panties. Or at least my mom’s idea of same. This illusive undergarment had to be loose, comfortable, 100% cotton, and totally devoid of lace. And that was just for starters. It also had to completely cover my mother’s hips and come in a large size, the exact number of which she resolutely refused to disclose. … (Secret Shopper is continued here.)

The Wonderbra Song (Song Parody)

Monday, September 11th, 2006

If you’ve ever wondered exactly how the Wonderbra works, this ad provides a handy demonstration.

And that gives me all the excuse I need to post my Wonderbra Song Parody:

Wonder of wonders.
Miracle of miracles.
Wonderbra can make you huge.

Wonder of wonders.
Wonderbra oh Wonderbra.
Lifts, shores up, and stacks your boobs.

Wonder of wonders.
Miracle of miracles.
Deepens cleavage on demand.

Wonder of wonders.
Wonderbra oh Wonderbra.
Scoops and swells your mammary glands.

The day I first tried on that bra.
That was a miracle.
That was a miracle.

They gaped and gawked and cheered “Hurrah!”
That was a miracle too.

But for all breasts be they large or small.
The most miraculous bra of all. … 

(My Wonderbra Song Parody is continued here.)