Archive for the ‘Family Verse’ Category
Thursday, February 11th, 2010
I’m so sick of this snowy New York winter. And of all the fretful phone calls from my mother-in-law, warning hubby Mark about snow shoveling and heart attacks. Funny, she isn’t at all concerned about my heart.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Send Us Spring, STAT!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m achy from head down to toe.
The cause? I’ve been shoveling snow.
I wanted to punt,
But instead, did our front,
While my spouse did the rest — quid pro quo.
********
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the one up side of February which is coming up very soon: Valentines Day. And so happy Valentines day, especially to you fellows who may find this Valentines Day column helpful. Gals, you can thank me later.
Tags: Health Risks, Heart Attack Poetry, Mother-in-Law Humor, New York Weather, Seasonal Verse, Shoveling Snow, Snow Poetry, Snow Storm Poem, Snow Verse, Weather Poem, Winter Limerick
Posted in Chores Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor, Relationship Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 6 Comments »
Monday, January 11th, 2010
Some men send their wives Hallmark greeting cards. Then there’s Dick Kleis of Zwingle, Iowa, who got a bit more “creative” on his wife Carole’s birthday. He spent three hours spelling out a huge love note in 120,000 pounds of “good, soft, gushy, warm” manure. And proving that there’s no accounting for taste, his wife actually liked it, saying her hubby “dung good”.
Attention, dear hubby Mark … and any other man who might be inspired by this story on a birthday, anniversary, or Valentine’s Day: Don’t even think about it!
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
How To Muck Up Gift-Giving
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear hubby, I’d really be miffed
If you gave me manure as a gift.
Now I don’t expect plush
If you ain’t feeling flush.
But dung? Sweet revenge will be swift.
Tags: Carole Kleis, Dick Kleis, Gift Humor, Greeting Cards Verse, Love Notes, Manure Humor, Spousal Humor, Zwingle Iowa
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Birthday Verse, Celebrations Poetry, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Gift Giving Humor, Holiday Humor, Letter Limericks, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Relationship Humor, Weird News Snark | 9 Comments »
Thursday, June 18th, 2009
Empty Nest (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was feeling depressed.
(Her syndrome is called “empty nest.”)
Her home was too calm.
She missed being a mom—
Though her spouse “helped” by being a pest.
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Depression, Empty Nest Syndrome, Family, House & Home, Husbands, Limericks, Mental Health, Parenting, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mental Health Humor | 19 Comments »
Monday, June 15th, 2009
Harried Spouse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a guy with no hair.
He’d shaved it all off on a dare.
His wife threw a fit
And she said,”This is it!
Grow it back, or I’ll have an affair!”
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Appearance, Baldness, Hair, Husband, Marriage, Wife, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family Verse, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 15 Comments »
Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
Not An American Idol
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a woman named June
Whose singing was way out of tune.
But she sang for her mate,
Who thought she was great,
Which is why his saloon’s gone to ruin.
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Husband, Intonation, Marriage, Music, Saloon, Singing, Tune, Voice, Wife, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 12 Comments »
Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
Dim-Witted Driver (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A dim-witted driver named Ed
Often finds that his battery’s dead.
He’s forgetful most nights
And he leaves on the lights.
That’s why Edward is no longer wed.
As always, please feel free to write your own limerick, using the same first line, and post it in my comments and/or on my Facebook post.
Note: My husband Mark is a frequent source of dead battery-inspired humor, including these two humor columns: Tow Guy Blues and False Alarm. Thus far, however, we remain married. In fact tomorrow’s our 31st wedding anniversary.
UPDATE: Happy National Battery Day (celebrated yearly on February 18th, in honor of physicist Alessandro Volta’s birthday.)
UPDATE 2: Check Your Batteries Day falls on the second Sunday in March.
Tags: Absent-Minded, Alessandro Volta, Automobiles, Battery, Cars, Check Your Batteries Day, Drivers, February Holidays, Husbands, Lights, Limericks, March Holidays, Marriage, National Battery Day, Odd Holidays, Physicists, Science Verse, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Car & Driving Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Memory Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, December 17th, 2008
“Dear Son” Letters
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Whenever my husband gets mail
From his mom, this is true without fail:
It concerns medications
And health aberrations.
Just reading her notes makes me pale.
Tags: Drugs, Health Limericks, Letters, Medications, Meds, Moms, Mothers, Sons
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Communication Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008
A new limerick, haiku, and senryu prompt (at long last) whose theme is jewelry, crafts, and engagements. First, my limerick:
Engagement Bling
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I’m engaged,” said the gal to her mom.
“I’m in love and I’m marrying Tom.”
“But I don’t see a ring,”
Said her mom. “Get some bling.
Until then, I intend to stay calm.”
And now my haiku (senryu):
Craft show earrings
Once adorned the riverfront
And now grace my lobes.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about jewelry, crafts, or engagements. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until September 5th to post it.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your jewelry, crafts, and engagement-related verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
UPDATE 2: National Jewel Day is March 13th.
Tags: Crafts Fair, Earrings Haiku, Engagement Ring, Fashion Verse, Haiku Prompts, Jewel Day, Jewelry Humor, Love Humor, March Holidays, Mom Limerick, National Jewel Day, Odd Holidays, Writing Prompts
Posted in Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Fashion Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Romance Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, July 21st, 2008
Sorry for the delay, but though my cast is finally off, I’m still having wrist problems.
Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is vacations. First, my limerick, which was inspired by my husband Mark:
Vacation Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband is swimming outdoors.
I expect he’ll be back when it pours,
Which it threatens to do
Ev’ry day, so he’s blue.
Yes, vacations are rain guarantors.
And now my haiku (senryu):
I’m on vacation,
Yet here I am writing verse.
Give it a rest, brain.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about vacations. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until August 1st to post it.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your vacation-related verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
Tags: Rain Limerick, Swimming Humor, Vacation Verse, Weather Poem, Writing Haiku, Writing Prompts
Posted in Family Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Holiday Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Sports Humor, Vacation Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 11 Comments »
Sunday, May 13th, 2007
Thanks to all of you who participated in this, my second limerick writing contest. (And yes, another contest will be coming soon.)
The response to my Mother’s Day limerick contest exceeded my wildest hopes – 87 poems were submitted. Your delightful entries and enthusiasm has made this a fun experience for me and, I hope, for you.
Before I announce the winners, I want to thank contest sponsor Billy Jones a/k/a Billy The Blogging Poet, who is providing prize matching funds.
And speaking of prizes, I’m awarding (including the matching funds) a First Prize ($50 in PayPal cash), a Second Prize ($20 in PayPal cash), and four Honorable Mentions. And the winners are…
FIRST PRIZE goes to Mephistopheles for a limerick that made me laugh out loud:
When you’re shrunk by one shrink or another,
‘Cause you’re pissed at your sister or brother,
Does your tongue tend to trip
In a Freudian slip—
Saying one thing while meaning your mother?
SECOND PRIZE goes to Peter Sheil for this moving tribute to his mother:
“It’s the hospital here, please come fast!”
There we sat, with our thoughts from the past.
At the side of her bed
Nothing more could be said.
One short breath … then one more … then her last.
And four HONORABLE MENTIONS go to (listed in submission order):
Jesse Frankovich:
My mommy is loving and caring,
Only sometimes a bit overbearing:
“Make your bed! Clean your room!
Mow the lawn! Don’t presume
You can play all day long! And stop swearing!”
Stella:
A mother is patient and kind,
Forgiving, forbearing, refined;
But mind if she cracks,
When stressed to the max,
‘Cos she’ll wallop your sorry behind.
BobfromThirsk:
As a baby I loved my dear mother
‘Till she gave me my sweet little brother.
But hang on there mum
What’s that lump in your tum,
O.M.G. is she baking another?
Mary Lou Healy’s The Steamy Novel:
That marvelous mother of mine
Thought my penchant for reading was fine.
She gave me a book.
Before letting me look,
Ripped out eighty through page eighty-nine!
Congratulations to all the winners, and thanks again to everybody who participated. (You can read all of the entries here.)
And please stay tuned — I’ll be announcing another limerick contest very soon right here in this blog — probably mid-June.
Tags: Contest Results, Holiday Verse, Limerick Contest, Mother's Day Limericks, Mothering Day, Prize Winning Limericks
Posted in Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Holiday Humor, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry Contest | 6 Comments »
Sunday, April 29th, 2007
My spring limerick contest was such a success, I’ve decided to hold limerick contests regularly. And it’s time for another one.
So here’s my challenge: Write a limerick related to the subject of mothers and post it here in a comment to this post no later than Saturday, May 12, 2007. I’ll announce the winners on Mother’s Day, May 13, 2007.
The first prize will be $25. The second prize will be $10. Both prizes will be paid via PayPal.
So, what exactly is a limerick? It’s a five line poem with an AABBA rhyme scheme and a very specific meter exemplified by these winning entries. (For more information about limericks check out these fine sites: Encyclospeedia Oedilfica and OEDILF.)
I’m looking forward to reading your entries!
UPDATE: The prize money has just doubled, thanks to a matching funds contest sponsorship by Billy Jones a/k/a Billy The Blogging Poet. Thanks to Billy’s generosity, there now will be $50 in first prize money and $20 in second prize money. Very cool, Billy!
UPDATE 2: This contest is now over, and the winners list and winning entries are posted here. Thanks for your wonderful entries, and stay tuned — another limerick contest is coming soon.
Tags: Limerick Contest, Moms Humor, Mother's Day Limericks, Mothering Day, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Writing Contests
Posted in Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Holiday Humor, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 83 Comments »
