“You are so out of touch,” said the teen
To his mother, “and also you’re mean!”
“I do not like your tone,”
She said, seizing his phone.
“And now YOU’RE out of touch. No more screen!”
Archive for the ‘Family Verse’ Category
Just In Time For Mother’s Day (Limerick)
Sunday, May 12th, 2024The Bad Employee (2-Verse Limerick)
Saturday, February 24th, 2024When a fellow awakened, still stoned
From the evening before, he bemoaned
His divorce from his wife,
The unfairness of life,
And a workplace where drugs aren’t condoned.
Sure enough, when he fin’ly appeared
At the office, things went as he feared:
“Get your gear and clear out,
You are fired, you lout,”
Yelled his mom. “Also, shave off that beard!”
The Conference (2-Verse Limerick)
Saturday, February 17th, 2024“Tell me, what is this meeting about?”
Yelled the parent, unfazed by the clout
Of the teacher he faced.
“Time’s a-wasting. Make haste!
I must go and attend to my gout.”
Said the teacher, “Your son loves to flout
All our rules and will likely flunk out.
He’s ignoring his studies,
Too busy with buddies,
Preparing for life as a lout.”
Joke-Telling Jen (Limerick)
Friday, January 19th, 2024A witty old gal nicknamed Jen
Would enjoy telling jokes now and then.
When her spouse failed to get
Jenny’s jests, she would fret
And say, “Laugh, or I’ll tell it again!”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BOARD or BORED at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 16, 2023)
Saturday, August 19th, 2023It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BOARD or BORED at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PITCH, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PITCH-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SINK, REFUSE, DAWN, ALARMING, CROWD.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 17, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 16, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BOARD or BORED-Rhyme Limerick:
When a man reached an online accord
To buy wood, he was certain he’d scored.
But, alas, he had not;
He’d been duped by a bot
That sent rot and was NOT above board.
And here’s my PITCH-Themed Limerick:
Her singing was heartfelt and loud.
(With great volume that gal’s well-endowed.)
But her pitch was so sad,
The conductor (her dad)
Told his fans “It’s my bad,” as he bowed.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
It’s pre-dawn. I’m in front of the sink,
Washing up, while attempting to think
Of a rhyme. But my muse
Yawned and said, “I refuse.
Don’t abuse me. I’m NOT in the pink!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Parenting Challenge (Limerick)
Sunday, August 13th, 2023When a clever, inquisitive lad
Would pester and pepper his dad
With questions galore,
His dad would implore:
“Ask your mom. She knows more. She’s a grad!”
Musical Lament (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 12th, 2023“My career choice was NOT the astutest;
There are very few jobs for a flutist.
How I wish that I heeded
My parents, who pleaded:
‘Don’t toot on that flute. Be a lutist!'”
A Youngster’s Quandary (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 15th, 2023A young girl had twin sisters, thirteen,
And, alas, both were older and mean.
When she tried tit for tat,
Parents called her a “brat.”
The poor tween was betwixt and between.
The Not So Happy Couple (Limerick)
Saturday, August 6th, 2022“I’ve been faithful! You’ve NOT been deceived,”
Said a gal to her spouse. “I’m aggrieved
And can’t handle your doubts,
Accusations, and shouts!”
“Don’t worry! I’ll soon be bereaved.”
Still Bugged By Mosquitoes (Limerick)
Monday, July 11th, 2022Wherever I go (or I’ve been)
Bugs attack me, ignoring my kin.
I scratch and I itch
And I can’t help but bitch…
Cuz mosquitoes get under my skin!
Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.
The Off-Kilter Kiss (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2022A young fellow sensed something amiss
With wife Fran from her lackluster kiss;
She had downed sev’ral beers,
Then compounded his fears:
“I’m not Fran, but her evil twin sis.”
(“National Kissing Day” falls each year on June 22.)
Cloaked In Bravado (Limerick)
Sunday, April 24th, 2022He showed off his coat with a swagger:
“It’s a one-of-a-kind,” said the bragger.
Then he brandished a knife:
“I’ll use THIS on the wife!”
His behavior? Sub-par cloak-and-dagger.
Dishy Verse (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 19th, 2022Well aware that his rich aunt would savor
Chole Masala — her favorite flavor,
Greedy Greg bought her lunch
At an Indian brunch.
His goal was (of course) curry favor.
Happy Genealogy Day! (Limerick)
Saturday, March 10th, 2018It’s National Genealogy Day. (2nd Saturday of March)
A woman whose quest for her roots
Revealed relatives deep in cahoots
With a killer and bandit,
Has finally canned it
And buried her fam’ly tree fruits.
Name-Blame (Limerick)
Sunday, March 4th, 2018It’s risky when parents show flair
In naming their child, so beware!
If you pick a bad name,
You may shoulder the blame
And the cost of a therapist’s stare.
Happy Celebrate Your Name Week (1st full week of March.)
Happy Brothers Day! (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2016Oh brother! It’s Brothers Day. Wow!
I’ve got me a good one. And how!
With a heart off the chart
Arthur (now known as Art)
Is unrivaled. Please Art, take a bow.
Brothers Day (May 24) is actually meant to celebrate the bond between brothers. But since I missed Brother And Sister Day on March 26, and Siblings Day on April 10, this will have to do.
Limerick For National Rum Day
Saturday, August 16th, 2014Happy National Rum Day! (August 16)
Limerick For National Rum Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal called her husband a lout
And threatened to highball it out
If he kept drinking rum.
He at first was struck dumb,
Then obligingly switched up to stout.
Happy “Bike To Work Day”
Thursday, May 15th, 2014May 16th is National Bike to Work Day. Of course, some rides work out better than others:
A Spousal Ride (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Spousal nagging pushed hubby to strike
Some balance by riding a bike.
But when ego and ass
Took a beating, alas,
He told biking and wife, “Take a hike!”
Say “NO!” To “Yes, Dear”
Wednesday, April 30th, 2014Say “NO!” To “Yes, Dear”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s something most husbands should fear:
Wives’ reactions on hearing, “Yes, dear.”
It’s a phrase to avoid
Cuz we’re not just annoyed,
But enraged. Guys could lose precious “gear.”
