Archive for the ‘Family & Relatives Humor’ Category
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008
A new limerick, haiku, and senryu prompt (at long last) whose theme is jewelry, crafts, and engagements. First, my limerick:
Engagement Bling
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I’m engaged,” said the gal to her mom.
“I’m in love and I’m marrying Tom.”
“But I don’t see a ring,”
Said her mom. “Get some bling.
Until then, I intend to stay calm.”
And now my haiku (senryu):
Craft show earrings
Once adorned the riverfront
And now grace my lobes.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about jewelry, crafts, or engagements. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until September 5th to post it.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your jewelry, crafts, and engagement-related verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
UPDATE 2: National Jewel Day is March 13th.
Tags: Crafts Fair, Earrings Haiku, Engagement Ring, Fashion Verse, Haiku Prompts, Jewel Day, Jewelry Humor, Love Humor, March Holidays, Mom Limerick, National Jewel Day, Odd Holidays, Writing Prompts
Posted in Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Fashion Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Romance Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, June 13th, 2008
Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is furniture and furnishings. First, my limerick:
Quick Story
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Quick story,” my husband declares.
“It’s short — I’m not kidding,” he swears.
But I know that he’s wrong.
He’ll be witty, but long.
How I wish I could find us some chairs.
And now two haiku (senryu):
Dad climbs into bed.
His poodle growls in protest.
Their turf war begins.
Sixty-year-old chair,
still covered in plastic,
protected from life.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about furniture and furnishings. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.
(Note: My poems were inspired by these three prompts: “being told a story,” “pets,” and “father / find.”)
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your furniture and furnishings verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
UPDATE 2: World Storytelling Day falls on the spring equinox in the northern hemisphere.
Tags: Furnishings Humor, Furniture Verse, Husband Humor, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Poodle Haiku, Short Story, Storytelling Day, Vernal Equinox, World Storytelling Day, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor | 14 Comments »
Friday, June 6th, 2008
Sorry for my late posting. As I mentioned in my last post, I recently broke my wrist.
Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is sleep and insomnia. First, my limerick:
Sleepless In Bayside
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband can catnap at will,
And my jealous reaction is shrill.
My insomnia’s bad —
Just can’t help getting mad,
Cuz his snores can be heard in Brazil.
And now my haiku or senryu:
I watch my husband
Sleep hour after hour.
What is his secret?
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about sleep and insomnia. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.
(Note: My poems were inspired by these three prompts: “catnap, “my nights” and “when I watch you.”)
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your sleep and insomnia verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
Tags: Husband Humor, Insomnia Verse, Sleep Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor | 12 Comments »
Monday, May 5th, 2008
Ode To An Absent-Minded Husband
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Your umbrella can not have gone far.
Can’t believe how forgetful you are!
If we still had each cent
On umbrellas you’ve spent,
We’d have money to buy a new car.
Thanks to Simply Snickers for the “umbrella” prompt, Weekend Wordsmith for the “torrential rain” prompt, and Sunday Scribblings for its “family” prompt.
UPDATE: I’ve just learned that National Umbrella Day is celebrated yearly on February 10th.
Tags: Absent-Minded, Car Limerick, Family, February Holidays, Gas Prices, Husband Humor, Marriage Verse, Money Poems, National Umbrella Day, Odd Holidays, Relationships Poetry, Weather Poem
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Car & Driving Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Memory Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Relationship Humor, Weather Humor | 9 Comments »
Friday, April 18th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is health. First, my limerick:
Maladjusted Men
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Maladjusted men sometimes say, “Doc,
Chiropractic is naught but a crock.
Your adjustments don’t work,
You’re a sick, spineless jerk,
And I’ll sue till you’re broke and in hock!”
And now my handy haiku:
My musical hands,
Stricken by carpal tunnel,
Betrayed by my wrists.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about health. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your health-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
Tags: Adjustments, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, Chiropractic Humor, Health Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health & Medical Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 3 Comments »
Friday, April 4th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is relatives. (Thanks to Read Write Poem’s aunt prompt, which inspired this broader theme including any family member.) First, my limerick:
Crazy Aunts
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Crazy aunt in your fam’ly? Let’s see:
Does she scoff at conventions with glee?
Fail at acting her age?
Give advice strangely sage?
In my fam’ly, the crazy aunt’s me.
And now my haiku:
He made an offer
That I just could not refuse:
Marital bliss.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about a relative. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have two whole weeks! Why? Because I still haven’t started my tax return.
(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your family-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
UPDATE 2: I’ve just learned that July 26 is Aunt and Uncle’s Day.
Tags: Aunt & Uncle's Day, Aunts, Family, Funny Relatives, Odd Holidays, Writing Prompts
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 10 Comments »
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
Romance — A Foreign Concept?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Instead of your long-winded rants,”
Says the gal, “I’d prefer some romance.”
Then her husband replies
With a glint in his eyes:
“Tell me, where do you think you are — France?”
(Inspired by the “Romance” prompt over at Totally Optional Prompts. And speaking of prompts, there’s still time to give my “bad jobs” prompt a try.)
Tags: Foreign Concepts, France, Relationships and Marriage Humor, Romance Limerick, Romantic Verse
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor, Romance Humor | 13 Comments »
Friday, January 4th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is lies and deception. First, my limerick:
“Your excuse simply can’t be believed.
You’re a liar! I feel quite deceived,”
Said the gal, as she wept,
To her lover, who’d slept
With her mother. (I guess she was peeved.)
And now, my haiku:
People who maintain
That they are always honest
Are surely lying.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about lies and deception. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.
(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)
UPDATE: April 23 is Lover’s Day
Tags: April Holidays, Betrayal, Deception, Lies, Lover's Day, Lover's Quarrel, Odd Holidays, Relationship Haiku
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, November 27th, 2007
I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! And now that Thanksgiving’s over, have you finished shopping for holiday gifts yet? And braced yourself for your office Christmas party? And how’s that list of New Year’s resolutions coming?
Aren’t holidays fun?
But getting back to the world of poetry, Totally Optional Prompts has asked for animal poems. So here’s a very short one:
My parents’ poodle—
Their beloved pet,
The grandchild I denied them.
For a much lighter look at the same subject, here’s my humorous essay called A Poodle Tale.
Last, but not least, I’ve just start creating short humor videos starring — you guessed it — moi! So if you get a chance please check out My Family Needs Me on my other blog.
Tags: Holiday Verse, Pet Poems, Poodle Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Celebrations Poetry, Family & Relatives Humor, Holiday Humor, Seasons Humor | 10 Comments »
Monday, November 12th, 2007
This week’s theme over at BlogFriday is annoyances, and I’m betting this scenario will ring a bell:
One Of These Days, I’ll Actually Say This (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We’re annoyed by your motormouth child.
He is boist’rous and noisy and wild.
So please put a lid
On your rude, rowdy kid.
Cuz, trust me, we aren’t beguiled.
Tags: Annoyances Limerick, Badly Behaved Child, Children Humor, Misbehaving Kids, Parenting Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor | 5 Comments »
Sunday, November 4th, 2007
Charge! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“A charge account’s wrong to its core,”
Said the dad, who paid cash at each store.
Then a flight was near barred
By the lack of a card,
Until “Here,” said his teen, “I have four.”
Author’s Note: This limerick is loosely based on personal experience. My now 92 year old father used to strongly disapprove of charge accounts. But one day, many years ago, he had to book an emergency plane trip over the phone and was stymied by his lack of a charge card. Fortunately, I had a charge account, even though I was an unemployed college student. So I proudly saved the day, and my father became an immediate charge card convert.
(You can find more of my money humor and verse here.)
Tags: Borrowing Money, Charge Account, Charge Card Humor
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Travel Humor | 9 Comments »
Sunday, October 7th, 2007
Chick Flick Flack
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When a film’s called a chick flick, it’s meant
To appeal to most women. How bent!
I’m a gal through and through,
But those flicks make me boo,
While my husband applauds. What a gent!
(You can find more of my marriage humor here and my feminist humor here.)
Tags: Chick Flicks, Feminism Humor, Films, Husband Wife Humor, Movies
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Entertainment Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Feminist Satire, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
Taking Our Marriage’s Temperature
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband and I can agree
On most everything—“a” straight through “z”.
But as husband and wife
We suffer much strife
Over temp settings—heat and AC.
(We argue over our TV’s remote control too, but it refuses to rhyme.)
Update: Air Conditioning Appreciation days run from July 3 to August 15.
Tags: A.C. Humor, A/C, Air Conditioning Humor, Compatibility, Heat Humor, Husbands, Husbands and Wives, HVAC Humor, July Holidays, Marriage Limerick, Odd Holidays, Seasonal Verse, Spousal Humor, Summer Gripes, Technology Limerick, Temperature Humor, TV Remote Control, Weather Humor, Wife Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Humor, Television (TV) Humor, Weather Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, August 20th, 2007
It’s mid-August, which means back-to-school day is just around the corner. And that in turn means it’s time to start shopping for school supplies: rulers and notebooks and pens and lunch boxes and calculators and computers and school clothes and … bulletproof backpacks???
“We’re just trying to give kids a defensive tool to use in case something does happen,” Curran said of the backpacks, which sell for $175 US. …
Since they started selling online last week, they’ve sold out of their initial stock of several hundred backpacks and are now ordering a new shipment from Massachusetts.
Methinks this calls for a limerick:
Bulletproof Backpacks: In Case Your Kid’s Classmate Is Packing
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Selling bulletproof backpacks? How sad!
Could the safety of schools be so bad,
That parents must buy
Such an item? Oh my!
Are they needed, or just a mad fad?
(You can find more of my school and education humor here.)
Tags: Back To School, Bulletproof Backpacks, Education Limerick, School Safety, School Supplies, Schooling Satire
Posted in Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Guns & Safety Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Polls, Shopping Humor | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, August 1st, 2007
I guess I must have led a very sheltered existence. Why do I say that? Because I’d never heard the phrase “five-second rule” until my husband Mark used it as an excuse to eat some treat he’d just dropped on the floor. (And yes, we’re still married.)
I naively assumed that Mark was the only person crazy enough to think germs politely wait five seconds before they attach themselves to goodies. But apparently lots of people (mostly men, I’m assuming) believe that if you drop food on the floor and pick it up really, really fast, it’s safe to eat.
In fact, the belief’s so widespread that some scientists (who apparently didn’t have anything better to do with their time) actually studied the issue. And yes, they concluded that the rule isn’t valid. (Did you really need me — or the scientists — to tell you that?)
This leads to my latest limerick, in which I use the word date instead of husband to protect the guilty … and because husband has too many damned syllables:
The Five-Second What???
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My date dropped dessert on the dirt.
“Please don’t eat it,” I managed to blurt,
As he started to chew
On his now blackened goo,
Saying “5-second rule — it won’t hurt.”
=========
(You can find more of my marriage humor here and more of my food humor here.)
Tags: Dating, Five-Second Rule, Food rules, Germs, Husbands, Marital Relationships, Science Humor, Scientific Studies, Scientists
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Polls, Relationship Humor, Science Humor, Social Satire, Time Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, July 4th, 2007
A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Introducing your gal to your mom?
Are you worried your intro will bomb?
Well here’s some advice
So the meeting goes nice:
First tell her your date’s name is Tom.
Tags: Dates, Dating, Gender Issues, Introductions, Meetings, Modest Proposal, Moms, Mothers, Parenting, Parents
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor, Social Satire | Comments Off on A Modest Dating Proposal For Anxious Guys
Saturday, June 16th, 2007
Married To Money
By Madeleine Begun Kane
He’s a cheapskate, so stingy with cash,
That he threw an embarrassing bash:
When his daughter was wed
He paid eight bucks a head,
So no band, booze, or blooms — only hash.
I have lots more money humor here. And don’t forget to enter my money-themed limerick contest with money prizes. Okay, not a lot of money, but still…
Tags: Cheapskate Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Marriage Limerick, Parenting, Stinginess, Wedding Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, June 5th, 2007
My husband Mark and I were never meant to own a motor boat. Why not? Any couple who can’t figure out how to open their car hood, should probably stick to something propelled by oars. And we surely would have done just that, had the prior owner of our weekend home not made it a package deal. If we wanted his irresistible house, we’d have to spring for his 120 horse power boat — perfect for anyone whose idea of relaxation is charging across a rocky three mile lake at the speed of screams.
OUR FIRST TIME OUT: My husband — a man who can build a wood stove fire in a flash, who whips up gourmet feasts in fifteen languages — couldn’t figure out how to unhook the boat’s cover. Refusing my help, he struggled for an hour. Victorious at last he hurled the cover off, in the process spilling gallons of water all over the boat.
By then I was ready to bail out. But Mark handed me a pail, and we spent the next 45 minutes heaving water overboard. Once all the water was safely under the boat, it was time to begin boating. I optimistically climbed onto our 16 footer, while my husband worked the knots from ashore. A former boy scout, he did this rather well. So well, that the boat (free at last) started to drift without him. …. (Motor Boating Just Isn’t Our Speed continues here.)
Tags: Boating Humor, Husband Wife Humor, Motor Boating, Outdoor Activity Humor, Outdoor Fun, Outdoor Sports, Water Activities
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Hobbies Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Leisure Time Humor, Marriage Humor, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor | 5 Comments »
Monday, June 4th, 2007
My wonderful husband Mark and I are celebrating our 29th wedding anniversary today. Happy anniversary Mark! This limerick is my gift to you. (How’s that for getting off cheap?)
Chance Meeting (Wedding Anniversary Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our encounter took place on a train—
A chance meeting, though far from mundane:
A lucky converging,
With love soon emerging—
Once strangers, now wedded-bliss twain.
Tags: Chance Meeting, Husband Wife Limerick, LIRR, Long Island Rail Road, Love Limerick, Marriage Limerick, Train, Wedded Bliss, Wedding Anniversary Limerick
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Commuting Verse, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Personal | 34 Comments »
Thursday, May 31st, 2007
Bugged By Mosquitoes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mosquitoes are driving me mad.
Seems a zillion are biting me—bad!
Sprays and lotions don’t work;
They keep chomping and lurk,
While ignoring my husband—the cad!
Update: August 20 is World Mosquito Day.
Tags: August Holidays, Bugs, Husband and Wife Humor, Insect and Bug Humor, Insect Bites, Mosquitoes, Odd Holidays, Outdoors, Summer Gripes, Summer Humor, World Mosquito Day
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Insect Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Relationship Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 4 Comments »
