Archive for the ‘Entertainment Humor’ Category

Have You Ever Noticed…

Monday, January 3rd, 2011

This question will probably make me sound ageist and grumpy. In my preemptive defense, let me say:

1) I’ve been tossing AARP’s annoying magazine for years; and

2) I am grumpy.

So here’s my question: Have you ever noticed that Andy Rooney isn’t funny anymore?

I used to be a fan and would never turn 60 Minutes off until Rooney’s monologue was over. I even owned one of his humor collections. But I can’t remember the last time Andy Rooney made me laugh … or even giggle. These days his commentaries make me cringe.

Now to those who may argue that I’m not funny either, I say:

CBS doesn’t pay me a gazillion bucks a year to not be funny!

And no, this limerick isn’t funny either:

Have You Ever Noticed…
By Madeleine Begun Kane

At the risk of incurring some ire:
Andy Rooney should really retire.
It’s not that he’s old,
And I don’t mean to scold,
But he’s funny no more, and it’s dire.

Limerick Ode To Willie Nelson

Sunday, November 28th, 2010

You’d think Texas cops would have more important things to worry about than marijuana in Willie Nelson’s tour bus. But apparently not, so they arrested him. And that cries out for a limerick:

Limerick Ode To Willie Nelson
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Willie Nelson is in a tough spot
Cuz of grass on his tour bus. What rot!
Such arrests make me groan.
Wish they’d leave him alone.
They’re musicians — they’re s’posed to smoke pot.

Our Adventures on the Lewis Black Comedy Cruise

Monday, November 15th, 2010

I am not a cruise person. I hate the sun and I avoid boats and water whenever possible. Plus I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to buffets.

But when hubby Mark and I heard about the Lewis Black Comedy Cruise, featuring comedy greats like Kathleen Madigan, John Pinette, Ted Alexandro, Larry Wilmore, Vic Henley, Dom Irrera, and John Bowman, we couldn’t resist.

Wise decision!

Now even with that superb lineup, I was a little leery. In fact, I wrote this limerick before setting unsteady foot on that ship:

I’ve never attempted a cruise,
So I’m nervous — will need lots of booze.
But I could not resist
Such a great comic list.
I need laughs to get over the news.

But I needn’t have worried. Lewis Black was his usual hilarious self, as were all the other comics. Plus we had a great time with the comedians, who mingled after-hours with the riffraff … I mean, fans.

Here’s my two-verse limerick ode to Lewis Black (I wrote it mid-cruise when Internet connection rates were roughly a gazillion bucks a minute.)

The angry old comic Lew Black
Has a mind that is quite out of whack.
So he offered a cruise
Packed with laughter and booze,
Fulfilling a deep-seated lack.

Yes, Lew had a very strong yen
For more contact with women and men:
Lots of fun-loving folks
Who’d laugh at his jokes
And then trail him till heaven knows when.

And finally, my post-return limerick:

We’re home from a comic sensation:
Lew’s Cruise, filled with laughs and elation.
There’s another next year.
(The thought makes me tear.)
Thank you, Lew. You deserve each ovation.

Oh … and just so you know, Lewis Black isn’t just a comic genius — he’s also a mensch.

The Flying Karamazov Brothers — Limerick Review

Sunday, October 17th, 2010

If you’ve never seen The Flying Karamazov Brothers perform, you owe it to yourselves to go see them either in New York City or whenever their tour hits your town. Hubby Mark and I caught their show Friday night, and it was hilarious.

The Karamazov Brothers’ act is hard to describe, so let me just say they’re jugglers, comedians, and even musicians, who often manage to be all three at the same time. They had me laughing so hard, I had tears streaming down my face for much of the evening. Now can you think of a better compliment than that?

On the other hand, the salt in my tears did burn the skin around my eyes and cheeks. Hmmm, maybe I should sue them for tortious infliction of skin damage.

And now, my limerick review:

The Flying Karamazov Brothers — Limerick Review
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Karamazov, the Brothers, are Flying.
Not the novel — the jugglers — not lying.
Saw their show just last night.
What a comic delight!
Laughed so hard, I was tearfully crying.

The Social Network (Limerick Review)

Monday, October 4th, 2010

Movie audiences sure seem to love Aaron Sorkin’s The Social Network, even if Facebook’s main founder Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t.

Hubby Mark and I saw it Saturday night and we certainly enjoyed it. And that brings me to my limerick review of this delightful film about Facebook’s founding and the lawsuits it inspired:

The Social Network (Limerick Review)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Social Network’s a wonderful flick —
Snappy dialogue — listen, it’s quick.
Depositions are used
Rather well — I’m amused.
As for Oscars this year, it’s my pick.

Infamous Limerick

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who yearned for great fame…

Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Infamous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who yearned for great fame
Had no talent that people could name.
But reality’s odd:
Her voluptuous bod
Led to stints on American Dame.

The series showed gals well endowed,
As scantily clad as allowed.
Then losers were kicked,
As front-runners were picked.
You don’t like that idea? Join the crowd.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

American Idol’s Problem … Crystallized

Friday, May 28th, 2010

Another American Idol season has come to a close and, once again, the wrong contestant won. Yes, the nervous guy, Lee DeWyze is the new American Idol, besting beating out the far superior singer, Crystal Bowersox. I’m disappointed, but not surprised. Why am I not surprised? I explain in my latest two-verse limerick:

American Idol’s Problem … Crystallized
By Madeleine Begun Kane

American Idol is done,
And sadly, the weaker guy won.
The Bowersox voice
Was a far better choice.
Crystal’s vocals sure hit a home run.

And here’s what has made me quite vexed:
It’s the power of youngsters who text.
They have time on their hands
To be diligent fans
And decide who will win the crown next.

Limerick Ode To Kathleen Madigan

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

Saturday night hubby Mark and I went to see Kathleen Madigan perform in New York City’s Gramercy Theatre. It was actually one of two performances that were taped for Madigan’s upcoming DVD.

Kathleen Madigan’s act was hilarious, and her special guest, Lewis Black, was his usual angry/funny self.

Limerick Ode To Kathleen Madigan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a gal with the comedy gene:
Surname Madigan, first name Kathleen.
I laughed the full hour.
Not once did I glower.
My fav’rite? Her Oprah routine.

An Unmagical Night of Magic (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

As I’ve mentioned before, my husband and I recently vacationed in Las Vegas. I’ve already reviewed Cher’s show and Cirque du Soleil’s LOVE via limerick. Well, now it’s time for a far less positive review:

An Unmagical Night of Magic (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

David Copperfield’s show on the Strip—
Neither clever, nor witty, nor hip.
He acted quite bored,
Which is rather untoward.
When in Vegas, avoid him’s my tip.

Limerick Ode To Betty White

Sunday, May 9th, 2010

Limerick Ode To Betty White
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The comedy legend named White
Hosted SNL Saturday night.
She managed to sell
Ev’ry line oh so well,
Even those that lacked humor and bite.

Betty’s sassy and charming — a pro.
How she does what she does, I don’t know.
Her timing is great.
She’s a young eighty-eight,
Who’d enhance any movie or show.

Mad About LOVE

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

When I posted my Cher limerick last weekend, I promised more limerick reviews of Las Vegas shows. So here’s my love limerick to the Beatles-inspired Cirque du Soleil show LOVE.

Mad About LOVE
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Once again, I must say hip-hooray
To the wonderful Cirque du Soleil.
It’s spectacle LOVE
Is a few cuts above.
Like the Beatles? Then see it today.

While I’m on the subject of Cirque Du Soleil, hubby Mark and I saw “O,” Mystere, and Zumanity on previous trips. “O” and Mystere were great, but we both disliked Zumanity.

Limerick Ode To Cher

Sunday, May 2nd, 2010

Sorry to have been so quiet lately. I’ve been traveling — family stuff in Dallas, followed by a wonderful vacation in Las Vegas.

Here’s the first in a short series of limerick show reviews:

Limerick Ode To Cher
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The singer and actress named Cher
Looks amazingly good nearly bare.
Her singing is great.
Her show is first rate.
And costumes? Elton John should beware.

Hooked On True Blood

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

From time to time, I review a television show, movie, or play via limerick. I wrote this verse after renting True Blood’s first season via Blockbuster and learning that we have to wait a couple of months before the second one becomes available.

Not only do I love this HBO show, I even adore its theme song: Bad Things, by Jace Everett.

Hooked On True Blood (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My latest addiction’s True Blood.
Not the drink, but the cable show, bud.
I watched the first season
And well beyond reason
Need more. Not released yet? Oh, crud!

Ode To “Rabbit Ears”

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

Millions of my fellow New Yorkers are very unhappy today because they can’t watch the Oscars or anything else on ABC. Why? Because their cable company, Cablevision, is having a financial feud with Disney-ABC.

My mother-in-law, for instance, doesn’t know or care who’s at fault. She just figures that for all the money she pays each month, she’s entitled to her nightly dose of Diane.

Ironically, my husband and I have no such problem because we don’t have cable-TV. In fact we don’t pay for TV access at all.

It’s not that we don’t watch television. It’s just that there are other things we prefer to overpay for.

Besides, we get ABC and the other networks plus sundry other stations just fine with a $40 pair of Philips “rabbit ears.” It may
not be an elegant-looking solution. But it sure beats those monthly bills.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Ode To Rabbit Ears
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some New Yorkers with cable-TV
Are freaking — can’t get ABC
And its Oscar show bash,
Though they pay tons of cash,
While our “rabbit ears” get it for free.

Thin-Skinned Plushenko Skating On Thin Ice?

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

As I’ve mentioned before, figure skating is the only sport I enjoy watching on television.

And as much as I was rooting for American skater Evan Lysacek to win the men’s figuring skating gold, I do admire Russia’s Evgeni Plushenko. In fact, I was looking forward to seeing if he could land himself a second gold medal.

But I join many of Plushenko’s fans in being disappointed by his ungracious post-long-program remarks.

After U.S. skater Evan Lysacek took the 2010 men’s figure skating Olympic gold and Plushenko was relegated to silver, Plushenko seemingly put Evan and the other contenders down, saying:

Overall my basic position and attitude is that movement needs to go forward and never stop, never go back. I think people need to do lots of quads.”

As McClatchy’s Gil LeBreton observes:

Because the Russian skater was the only one in the room who does quads, his remarks Thursday night came across as self-serving — sour grapes, unbecoming of a guy who thought he could take three years off from the sport and then dance in and steal the gold medal.

Plushenko, quadruple jump and all, received the silver medal in Thursday night’s men’s figure skating finals. U.S. skater Evan Lysacek, who attempted no quads in his dramatic, near-flawless performance, was rewarded with the gold.

This brings me to my latest limerick:

Thin-Skinned Plushenko Skating On Thin Ice?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Plushenko, your program was fine,
But did not deserve gold, so don’t whine.
Stop implying your quad
Should have earned you the nod.
Evan beat you. His skate was divine.

Limerick Ode To Valerie Harper & More Big Apple Fun

Sunday, February 21st, 2010

I’ve been a Valerie Harper fan dating way back to her years as Mary’s best friend Rhoda in the Mary Tyler Moore Show. And now I’m even a bigger fan, after hubby Mark and I saw her on Broadway this weekend starring as Tallulah Bankhead in Looped.

All I can say is, “Wow!”

Okay, I can say a bit more and have even written Harper a limerick. But first some info: Looped, by Matthew Lombardo, is a very funny comedy about celebrity bad girl Tallulah Bankhead, an out-of-control actress trying to complete her final screen role (Die, Die My Darling).

The play, directed by Rob Ruggiero, takes place in a Los Angeles recording studio and also features Brian Hutchison and Michael Mulheren. These poor fellows are desperately trying to extract one good take from Tallulah, so they can re-record (or “loop”) a single line of dialogue.

Looped is in previews right now at the Lyceum Theatre and opens March 14, 2010.

And now, my limerick:

Limerick Ode To Valerie Harper
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Give Valerie Harper a hand.
She’s in Looped on Broadway and she’s grand.
As Tallulah she’s naughty,
Outrageous, and baudy.
At the end you will cheer as you stand.

Seeing Looped capped off a full and fun day in Manhattan. What else did we do? We walked up Fifth Avenue and wandered around the eclectic Japanese department store, Takashimaya, deciding to save its charming Tea Box restaurant and tea room for another day. Then we moved on to the Central Park Zoo, had drinks at The Oak Bar at the Plaza Hotel, and ate a scrumptious Northern Italian meal at Nocello. (We’d planned to go dancing after the play, but my knee was misbehaving, so we called it an early-for-us night and went home.)

By the way, I highly recommend the Central Park Zoo. People tend to overlook it because it’s so tiny. But it’s very charming, and we especially enjoyed watching one of the polar bears frolic, using a large square of Styrofoam as his floating toy.

The snow leopards, snow monkeys, penguins, and the Rainforest were fun too, as was watching harbor seals being fed and taught tricks.

Limerick Ode To Ted Alexandro

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

As I’ve mentioned previously, Comix is one of my favorite New York City comedy clubs. And it sure didn’t disappoint Friday night when we saw the hilarious Ted Alexandro and “Friends” Pete Dominick, Joe Derosa, and Morgan Murphy.

Headliner Alexandro, a former elementary school music teacher, was the highlight of the evening. I love his comic sensibility, his pacing and his fearless use of silence. But hubby Mark and I also enjoyed the other comedians, especially Morgan Murphy, who somehow manages to sound both depressed and funny at the same time.

Getting back to Alexandro, in one segment of his routine Alexandro waxes funny about teaching little kids the recorder (presumably the children’s version, known as a flutophone.)

This comedy bit inspired me (an oboe performance major who once taught the oboe) to write a limerick in honor of Alexandro’s transition from music teacher to standup comic:

Limerick Ode To Ted Alexandro
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A funny young fellow named Ted,
Who majored in musical ed,
Taught kiddies recorduh.
An instrument? Sorta.
But now he’s a comic, instead.

UPDATE: Ted Alexandro inspired me to write him another limerick when he joined the Wall Street protests.

Super Bowl Sunday Blues

Saturday, February 6th, 2010

This probably sounds un-American, but I never watch football on television … or anywhere else, for that matter. Not even the Super Bowl.

Okay, maybe the half-time show for the musical acts. (I love The Who!) And perhaps a commercial or two, if my husband’s hysterical laughter gets my attention. But that’s it!

Super Bowl Sunday Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I rarely watch sports on TV.
Figure skating is all that I’ll see.
So on Super Bowl Sunday,
I dream about Monday.
Till then, from our screen I must flee.

Dear Jay

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

I’m on Team CoCo, as you can tell from my Conan-Leno talk show wars limerick.

But unlike many Team CoCo members, I put most of the blame on NBC … and not on Jay Leno. NBC, after all, has been treating both O’Brien and Leno like two very pricey pawns. And doing it incompetently, to boot.

Jay’s been taking quite the beating in the press. So I watched Jay’s Monday night attempt to repair his image and set the record straight with interest. Unfortunately, I found his humble, nice guy shtick overdone and just a wee bit nauseating. Methinks Leno has gotten some really bad public relations advice.

And speaking of advice, here’s some advice for Jay Leno in limerick form:

Dear Jay
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Jay, you sure poured it on thick.
You’re a poor, lowly country-boy hick?
You just do what your told?
Merely one of the fold?
Give your PR adviser a kick.

Go, Conan!

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

A limerick in honor of Conan O’Brien’s Solomon-like decision about the Tonight Show — not to “seriously damage what [he considers] to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting,” (I wrote it both as a fan and as a recovering lawyer.)

Go, Conan!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Conan, I’m glad you refused.
By your Network, you’ve sure been abused.
You’re right to be teed.
You’re a class act, indeed.
NBC’s breach can not be excused.

Update: I haven’t seen Conan’s contract. But here’s NBC’s argument, as I understand it: NBC can legally air The Tonight Show with Conan at 12:05 a.m. after a new half-hour Leno show, because O’Brien’s contract doesn’t specify a time. I don’t buy it.

Following NBC’s argument to its logical conclusion, NBC could air The Tonight Show at 4:00 a.m., or even at noon. In fact, by NBC’s reasoning, Conan could have stayed at his old 12:35 a.m. slot and Jay could have kept his original 11:35 p.m. Tonight Show slot. All NBC would have had to do would be to change the names of the shows: Conan’s to the Tonight Show, and Jay’s to the Jay Leno Show. Sorry, NBC, this doesn’t pass the straight-faced test.

One more point: Rumor has it that Jay’s contract specifies a 10 p.m. time, and that (the argument goes) this weakens Conan’s position. I disagree. Conan O’Brien was being promoted to a show that already existed in a specific time slot, whereas Jay’s show was being created from scratch. So they are not analogous situations.

Update 2: Is this a slam dunk for Conan? No. But as a “recovering lawyer” who litigated my share of contract disputes, I’d rather take Conan’s case to a jury.