My damn email spam’s out of control!
My attempts at a fix? A black hole!
Unsubscribing with zeal
Simply proves that I’m REAL,
A great target — a gullible soul.
Archive for the ‘Email Humor’ Category
My Losing Battle With Spam (Limerick)
Saturday, May 11th, 2024Bot Attack (Limerick)
Thursday, February 22nd, 2024My poor stomach is tied up in knots,
Cuz I’m being assaulted by bots.
They are clogging both blogs,
Email’s gone to the dogs,
And I’m drowning in spam. (Hence the trots.)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PLOT at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 1, 2021)
Saturday, April 17th, 2021It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PLOT at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DRONES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DRONE-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 2, 2021 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 1, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my PLOT-rhyme limerick:
A woman at work on a plot
For a book that she hoped would be hot,
Read an excerpt aloud
To a writers’ group crowd.
Someone scoffed: “Is the author a bot?”
And here’s my DRONE-themed Two-Verse limerick:
“I do NOT want to own a damn drone,
No matter how easily flown.
It’s the last thing I’d buy,
And I can’t fathom why
You keep spamming me. Leave me alone!“How I got on your list, I don’t know.
Was my email supplied by a foe?
May your sales and drones crash!
And here’s a hot flash:
Do NOT hold your breath for my dough!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick Ode To The ZIP Code
Monday, July 1st, 2013Happy birthday to the ZIP Code, born fifty years ago, on July 1, 1963.
Limerick Ode To The ZIP Code
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Today is the birthday of ZIP Codes–
Those digital sort and then ship codes
That help us get mail,
Which they’re now calling “snail.”
With email, these aren’t such hip codes.
My Advice To Spammers (Limerick)
Thursday, June 25th, 2009My Advice To Spammers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear spammers, I wish you’d take heed.
A spell-check is something you need.
Though I’m surely no Freud,
You should really avoid
Sending “greeting” cards spelled more like “greed.”
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Email Hell (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)
Friday, May 9th, 2008Today’s limerick and haiku theme is email and/or spam. First, my limerick:
I’m out of the office right now.
Do I hate answ’ring email? And how!
Missed your missive? I’m glad,
So I won’t say I’m sad.
Pester some other worker-bee. Ciao!
And now my three spam-related haiku:
Suffocating spam
Pours into my computer,
Drowning out meaning.
Virulent spammers
Take over my computer,
Devouring its core.
My email pours in,
The meaningful lost,
Strangled by spam.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about email and/or spam. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.
| 1. Connie 2. Noah the Great |
3. Noah the Great 4. Linda – Nickers and Ink |
5. Felix Morgenstern |
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your email-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
A Spam Filter That Really Works Would Be Nice
Saturday, March 10th, 2007A Spam Filter That Really Works Would Be Nice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My filters should block them, but nay!
Spam emails beset me each day,
Pushing stock, naked boys,
Drugs for sex, naughty toys—
All ad nauseam. Please, go away!
