Archive for the ‘Dating Humor’ Category
Saturday, April 27th, 2024
“Tell me, why are you dating that bum?”
Said a gal to her strict-vegan chum.
“Yes, that fellow’s no saint,
But the man sure can paint!
Plus the guy has a very green thumb.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Green Thumb, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick, Vegan Humor, Vegan Limerick, Vegetable Humor, Vegetable Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on Bad Taste? (Limerick)
Saturday, March 9th, 2024
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SHOT or SHOTS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PICTURES, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PICTURE-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest:
AMUSING, DOCTOR, NEUROTIC, POSTPONE, VANITY.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 7, 2024, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 6, 2024 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SHOT or SHOTS-Rhyme Limerick:
“That damn bartender’s AWOL,” said Scott
To his prep cook. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”
“Though I’ve never mixed drinks,
I can do it, methinks,
So I gladly will give it a shot.”
And here’s my Picture-Themed Limerick:
“Gotta rush to the bookshop. I’m late!
I am meeting another blind date.
And that chick better look
Like her pic, or I’ll book
It, cuz boy, am I sick of pic-bait!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
An old woman who loved to complain,
Was neurotic and stubborn and vain.
When her doctor prescribed
Her a cane, the gal gibed:
“That will ruin my look. Where’s your brain?”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Alcohol Humor, Bartender Humor, Bartender Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Beverage Humor, Blind Date Humor, Competition Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deception Humor, Doctor Humor, Doctor Limerick, Health Humor, Health Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Vanity Humor, Vanity Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 122 Comments »
Thursday, March 7th, 2024
“Is that fellow the best you can get?
I’m concerned and perplexed and upset,
Also worried and puzzled.
The guy should be muzzled!
You want a wild beast? Get a pet!”
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Sisterly Advice (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 28th, 2024
“At the moment we met, I was charmed.
But my mood swiftly moved to alarmed
When my date turned irate
Without cause, while she ate,
As she brandished hard proof she was armed.”
Tags: Bad Date Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Battle of the Sexes Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Dining Humor, Dining Limerick, Gun Humor, Gun Limerick, Weapons Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Guns & Safety Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on Gunning For Trouble? (Limerick)
Friday, September 29th, 2023
A musician enjoying a fling
With a gal, almost bought her a ring.
What changed the man’s mind?
He was saddened to find
She mistakenly thinks she can sing.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Music Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Singing Humor, Singing Limerick, Vocal Humor, Voice Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, September 27th, 2023
Said a gal to her closest friend Jean:
“Did you sleep with my boyfriend? Come clean!”
Jean confessed: “Don’t be pissed!
I told him, ‘Desist!’
Seems his language skills aren’t too keen.”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Excuses Humor, Language Humor, Sex Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Friendship Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Monday, July 31st, 2023
A man who, alas, had no game,
Was rebuffed by a cold-hearted dame:
“You’ve no shot at romance
With me. Not at chance,
Like I told you the last time you came!”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Romance Humor, Romance Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Romance Humor | Comments Off on Foiled Romance (Limerick)
Sunday, April 23rd, 2023
Delores and Bill, once an item,
Had a fight. Now she won’t even write ’im
A text saying “hi,”
Or an angry “GOODBYE!”
She explains: “Can’t abide him, so BITE ’IM!”
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Dating Poem, Relationship Humor, Relationship Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, December 12th, 2022
A gal was impressed by the thrust
Of an argument made against lust.
But the man who had made it
Had mated or dated
Each person in town with a bust.
Tags: Argument Humor, Argument Limerick, Battle of Sexes, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Lust Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, December 10th, 2022
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BLUE or BLEW at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RELIGION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RELIGION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: NAME, NAUSEOUS, PROFIT, TEASE, SILVER.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 8, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 7, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BLUE or BLEW-Rhyme Limerick:
A litigious old fellow was blue.
His friends (he had only a few)
Asked “Why the bad mood?”
The response from that dude
Was “I’ve run out of people to sue!”
And here’s my RELIGION-Themed Limerick:
A man of the cloth would not share
His frank with his date at the fair.
“That’s unfair,” she cried out.
“I gave you my kraut.
So canoodle tonight? Not a prayer!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
There is someone I could (but won’t) name
Who makes me feel nauseous. My aim
Isn’t testing or teasing;
He’s just so displeasing,
I’d rather not add to his fame.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Law Humor, Law Limerick, Lawyer Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Litigation Humor, Litigation Limerick, Litigation Poem, Mood Humor, Mood Limerick, Mood Swings, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Dating Humor, Friendship Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Religion Verse | 187 Comments »
Friday, September 30th, 2022
A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”
(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)
Tags: Bakery, Baking Humor, Baking Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Food Holidays, Food Humor, Food Limericks, Food Poem, Food Verse, Odd Holidays, Rolls Humor, Rolls Limerick, Rolls Verse, September Holidays
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Half-Baked Limerick
Tuesday, July 5th, 2022
A young lass liked a fellow a lot,
But his anti-vax views were a blot.
So she thwarted his pass
When she grasped that, alas,
He would never give vaxes a shot.
Tags: Date Humor, Date Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Love Humor, Love Limerick, Political Arguments, Political Humor, Romance Humor, Romancing Limerick, Vaccine Humor, Vaccine Limerick, Vax Humor, Vax Limerick
Posted in Dating Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Romance Humor | 1 Comment »
Thursday, June 9th, 2022
“My niece Mary’s a likeable lass
Who, alas, is engaged to an ass.
Though I’ve warned her, ‘Be wary,’
She’s anxious to marry.
What I need is a ‘Hail Mary pass.'”
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Engagement Humor, Engagement Limerick, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Limerick, Hail Mary Pass, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Relationship Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, April 18th, 2022
A largely deaf fellow named Ben
Relished sex in his new girlfriend’s den.
But she’d talk during sex,
(Very much like his ex.)
His confusing reply? “Come again.”
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Communication Humor, Communication Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Deafness Humor, Deafness Limerick, Hearing Humor, Hearing Limerick, Sex Humor, Sex Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Communication Humor, Dating Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | Comments Off on A Failure To Communicate (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 5th, 2022
Her boyfriend insists that she’s “jerky”
For falling for health warnings “murky.”
He has coaxed and opined,
But he can’t change her mind:
She’s swearing off poultry “cold turkey.”
Tags: Chicken Humor, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Diet Humor, Diet Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Health Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Poultry Humor, Poultry Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Dating Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on A Healthy Disagreement (Limerick)
Thursday, March 31st, 2022
For some inexplicable reason today (March 31) is National Prom Day.
It’s “National Prom Day” today.
Why in March, of all months? Who’s to say?
I’ve heard proms can be fun.
(Not that I’ve been to one.)
But I’m happy to cheer ’em. Hooray!
Tags: Dance Humor, Dance Limerick, March Holidays, National Prom Day, Odd Holidays, Party Humor, Party Limerick, Prom Day, Prom Humor, Prom Limerick
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Dance Humor, Dating Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on The Promise of Proms
Wednesday, December 29th, 2021
My beau plays the cello. His bow
Makes the loveliest music I know.
I love him, I think,
But my mother, a shrink,
Says I won’t, once I’ve heard Lorne Munroe.
Happy “International Cello Day!” (December 29)
Tags: Cello Day, Cello Humor, Cello Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, December Holidays, International Cello Day, Lorne Munroe, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Odd Holidays
Posted in Dating Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Engaged By The Cello (Limerick)
Thursday, December 2nd, 2021
“Your new flame always stinks like a stable.
He drinks ev’ryone under the table.
Mabel, what’s the allure?
He’s unstable, for sure.
Worst of all, he wears fur made of sable!”
Tags: Advice Humor, Advice Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | Comments Off on A Bad Match (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 30th, 2021
“Though it’s fine that my boyfriend is naughty,
A bit bossy and bad-ass and dotty,
His obsession with bots
Has me tied up in knots.
So I can’t tie the knot with that hottie.”
Tags: Bad Behavior, Battle of the Sexes, Bot Humor, Bot Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Technology Humor, Technology Limerick, Tying The Knot
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Dating Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Technology Humor | Comments Off on A Knotty Issue (Limerick)
