Archive for the ‘Computer Humor’ Category
Friday, May 9th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is email and/or spam. First, my limerick:
I’m out of the office right now.
Do I hate answ’ring email? And how!
Missed your missive? I’m glad,
So I won’t say I’m sad.
Pester some other worker-bee. Ciao!
And now my three spam-related haiku:
Suffocating spam
Pours into my computer,
Drowning out meaning.
Virulent spammers
Take over my computer,
Devouring its core.
My email pours in,
The meaningful lost,
Strangled by spam.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about email and/or spam. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your email-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
Tags: Career Poem, Email Hell Humor, Email Limerick, Spam Verse, Writing Prompts
Posted in Business Humor, Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Email Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Spam Humor, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, March 31st, 2008
Interactive Taxes
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Hello. Welcome to Taxtime, your Interactive Tax Preparer Program. Do you feel like doing your taxes today?
I see. Well, don’t you think you should do them anyway? After all, it’s April 14. And who knows? Maybe you’ll get a refund.
That’s the spirit. Let’s begin with your name, address, and marital status.
Sorry to hear about the divorce. But don’t let it get you down. That alimony deduction will come in handy.
Please don’t cry. Things are bound to improve. In the meantime, let’s talk about dependents. Do you have any children?
Wow! I hope they’re not all in college.
You’re having visitation problems on top of everything else? Gee, I can’t help you there. But you might try our Interactive Matrimonial Lawyer Software.
I hate lawyers too. But we’re really veering off track … (Interactive Taxes is continued here.)
Tags: April Holidays, Computer Software, Financial Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Tax Filing Humor, Tax Poetry, Taxation, Technology Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Money & Finance Humor, Tax & IRS Satire, Technology Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, September 24th, 2007
I dedicate this to everyone’s who’s ever been driven mad by a website or blog outage:
Web Withdrawal Woes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This outage has led me to think
I’ve gone bonkers, berserk—need a shrink.
I keep checking the site.
It’s still down—what a plight!
Web withdrawal may drive me to drink.
Tags: Addiction Humor, Computers, Internet Limerick, Net Addict, Net Humor, Psychology Humor, Site Outage Poem, Techie Humor, Technology Verse, Web Addict, Web Humor, Web Withdrawal
Posted in Addiction Humor, Anxiety & Stress, Computer Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Technology Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, September 15th, 2007
Sometimes spam frustrates me so much, that I’m forced to turn it into haiku. How do I do it? I simply mix and match phrases from various annoying email solicitations and turn them into Spam Haiku. Here are some examples:
My college pictures
Enhance your anatomy.
Proven effective.
New technology.
Frustration and hopelessness.
Xanax, Valium.
Amazing orgies.
Pictures are hard to believe.
Are you strong enough?
Play Texas Hold’em.
Your future is in your hands.
Never type again.
Large screen DVD.
Is your husband performing?
Big trading alert.
Stocks in an up trend.
Best pain reliever ever.
Be happy again.
Be a love hammer.
Penis enlargement breakthrough.
You can split and merge.
Pelvic pain is real.
Computers are infected.
Contact our doctors.
Tags: Annoying Email, Computer Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Spam, Spam Poetry, Spam Verse, Technology Verse
Posted in Computer Humor, Email Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Internet Humor, Marketing Humor, Spam Humor, Technology Humor | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, July 18th, 2007
Website owners, webmasters, and people who specialize in search engine optimization (SEO) and search engine marketing (SEM) tend to be an obsessive bunch, perpetually checking stats in their quest for better numbers. What do improved numbers mean? In theory, they beget better placement in search engine results pages (SERPS), more sales, and higher ad rates.
This obsession tends to reach a frenzied peak roughly four times a year, when Google’s Toolbar is updated, and you learn if your latest PageRank has risen or (heaven forbid) dropped. And while some may claim that they don’t care about PageRank, nobody believes them.
In honor of Google PageRank update season, which apparently is upon us, I’ve written this limerick:
Ode To The Google PageRank Obsession
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Google PageRank obsession is back,
‘Cause an update is due, which we track.
Have our efforts paid off?
Although many will scoff,
We need proof that we’re leading the pack.
(You can find more of my computer and technology humor and limericks here, including my song parody Webmaster’s SEO Complaint.)
Tags: Google Humor, Google Limerick, Net Humor, PageRank Satire, PR Update Humor, Rank Obsession, Search Engine Limerick, SEM Humor, SEO Humor, SERPS, Web Humor, Webmaster Humor
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Computer Humor, Google, Internet Humor, Limericks, Search Engine Tools, Technology Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, May 21st, 2007
If you’ve ever registered for a site or an email list, you’re surely familiar with those frustrating anti-spam CAPTCHA forms. CAPTCHA, which is an acronym for “Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart,” generally does a really good job of blocking … me:
Captured By CAPTCHA (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The CAPTCHA form used on their site
Quickly conquered computerized blight,
Because bots can’t decode
Any image it showed.
But then neither can I—there’s my plight.
(You can find more of my technology humor here.)
Tags: Bot Humor, CAPTCHA, Forms, Internet Humor, Site Registration, Spam Humor, Technology Satire
Posted in Computer Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Spam Humor, Technology Humor | 7 Comments »
Friday, April 20th, 2007
Early in our marriage, my husband Mark worked as a computer programmer and was on over-night call:
Sleepless In Geekdom
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband’s a super-smart geek
Who’s on overnight call once a week.
And those questions they pose
After wrecking our doze
Sound, to me, much like Latin or Greek.
UPDATE: Happy International Programmers’ Day, January 7th!
And happy Geek Pride Day, May 25th!
Tags: Computer Satire, Geek Humor, Geek Pride Day, Husband Wife Humor, Insomnia Humor, International Programmers' Day, January Holidays, Marriage Satire, May Holidays, On Call, Sleeplessness, Technology Satire
Posted in Computer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 4 Comments »
Friday, March 23rd, 2007
Boot-Licked
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My new laptop refuses to boot,
So I’m thinking of filing a suit.
Plug and play this sure ain’t.
If it started, I’d faint.
Lots of loot for this trash don’t compute.
Tags: Boot Failure, Computer Satire, Laptop Humor, Law Humor, Money Limerick, Plug And Play, Technology Satire
Posted in Computer Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Technology Humor | 5 Comments »
Saturday, March 10th, 2007
A Spam Filter That Really Works Would Be Nice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My filters should block them, but nay!
Spam emails beset me each day,
Pushing stock, naked boys,
Drugs for sex, naughty toys—
All ad nauseam. Please, go away!
Tags: Spam Filters, Computer Satire, Drug Spam, Email Humor, Internet Humor, Porno Spam, Spam Humor, Stock Tip Spam, Technology Satire
Posted in Computer Humor, Email Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor, Spam Humor, Technology Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
Backup Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
They told me to back up my drive,
Which has crashed—it’s no longer alive.
Had I heeded their warning,
I wouldn’t be mourning
My data, which didn’t survive.
Tags: Backups, Business Satire, Computer Satire, Computers, Crashes, Hard Drive, Lost Data, Money Satire, Technology, Technology Satire
Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Limericks, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 11 Comments »
Friday, February 16th, 2007
Here’s another limerick about our recent New York snow and ice storm:
The Up Side Of Winter
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Outside our abode, it ain’t nice;
There’s snow on the ground and there’s ice.
But I’m snug in my house—
Just me and my spouse
And our mouse. Leave this haven? No dice!
Tags: Home, House, Ice, Marriage, Seasons, Snow, Snow Poetry, Storm, Weather Humor, Winter
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Computer Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, House & Home Humor, Marriage Humor, Outdoors Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | Comments Off on The Up Side Of Winter
Friday, September 15th, 2006
How’s this for a corporate nightmare? Every Segway Personal Transporter ever manufactured has been recalled due to a “software glitch in the scooters that can make riders fall.”
This recall calls out for a limerick, don’t you think? So here’s my Ode To The Segway Scooter:
The maker of scooters called Segway
Has recalled them from road, walk, and hedgeway.
Their software’s quite galling.
It’s prone to cause falling.
Now lawyers have fresh “we allege” prey.
Tags: Business Limerick, Computer Humor, Lawsuit Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Litigation Humor, Money Limerick, Personal Injury, Personal Transporters, Product Liability Humor, Product Recalls, Riding Scooters, Scooter Defects, Segway scooters, Software Bugs, Technology Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor, Technology Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
You praise my weblog
And I’ll mention your blog.
You link my weblog
And I’ll link to your blog
Weblog,
Your blog,
Weblog,
Your blog,
Let’s call the whole thing off.
You laud my rampage
On Bush’s last outrage.
You say I’m so sage,
Go check out my web page. …
(Bloggers’ Rhapsody is continued here.)
Tags: Blogger Humor, Blogging Humor, Computer Humor, Marketing Humor, Publicity Humor, Technology Humor
Posted in Blogging Humor, Computer Humor, Marketing Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Publicity Humor, Social Satire, Spoof Lyrics, Technology Humor | Comments Off on Bloggers’ Rhapsody (Can Be Sung To Gershwin’s “Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off”)
Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
If your husband ever invites you to join him on a business trip, be sure to ask him these questions:
1. Will you ever get to see him while he is not — technically — asleep?
2. What will he do, if you accidentally lock yourself out of your hotel room in the middle of the night while you are not — technically — dressed?
Unfortunately, I didn’t think to ask these questions when my husband Mark invited me to join him for a six-week Boston business trip. So I had to learn the answers the hard way. …
( A Traveler’s Net Woes is continued here.)
Tags: Business Travel Humor, Computer Humor, Hotel Humor, Husband Wife Humor, Internet Outage Humor, Laptop Humor, Marriage Humor, Net Connection, Travel Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Business Humor, Computer Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Internet Humor, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor, Technology Humor, Travel Humor | 2 Comments »
