Dishing About Dish
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I don’t have a dish — don’t have cable.
I avoid most TV when I’m able.
But the Net is a must.
DSL’s what I trust.
And believe me, this ain’t just a fable.
Archive for the ‘Computer Humor’ Category
Dishing About Dish
Tuesday, June 29th, 2010Nerdy Limerick
Monday, May 24th, 2010I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A hard-working fellow named Zeke…
Here’s mine:
Nerdy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A hard-working fellow named Zeke
Was thought of as rather a geek.
His tech expertise
Brought most to their knees.
But small talk? To Zeke it was Greek.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
UPDATE: Happy International Programmers’ Day, January 7th!
And happy Geek Pride Day, May 25th!
Limerick Of Manners
Tuesday, April 13th, 2010My humorist pal Felice Prager had a birthday recently and, thanks to Facebook reminders, was receiving an extra large slew of birthday greetings. When she responded to mine, she joked about writing a limerick starting with the line: “The girl who said thank you a lot …” So of course, I did:
Limerick Of Manners
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The girl who said thank you a lot
Sure wanted to stop, but could not,
Cuz she knew it ain’t right
To stop acting polite.
So she purchased a thanks-giving bot.
Fight Firewalls With Kindle
Saturday, January 30th, 2010My humorist pal Rose Valenta recently created a Kindle version of her blog and inspired me to do the same. Why? Because many employers are getting strict about web access, blocking employees from reading their favorite blogs and sites — even while they’re on a break or at lunch.
But your boss can’t control what you read on your Kindle. And Amazon makes it easy for bloggers to create Kindle blog editions, allowing fans to bypass their bosses and keep up with their reading.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Fight Firewalls With Kindle
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re at work, but on break — want to read.
But your boss did a dastardly deed:
Your fav’rites are blocked.
Your net access is locked.
But he can’t stop a Kindle blog feed.
My News: I’ve created Kindle versions of both my blogs. So if you’d like to read this general humor blog on your Kindle reader you can subscribe right here. And if you’d like to read my other political satire blog on your Kindle device, you can subscribe right here.
Attention Fellow Bloggers: If you’d like to publish your own blog on Amazon Kindle, Amazon makes it pretty easy and has a helpful Kindle Blog FAQ here. You can also find some useful info over at Mashable and some Kindle badges and icons here.
Warning: Reading blogs on Kindle isn’t free, except for the 14-day free trial for each blog. Monthly Kindle blog subscription fees are controlled by Amazon and priced at either $0.99 per month or $1.99 per month. Moreover, only 30% of the revenue goes to the blogger.
And Now For The Sales Pitch: Each of my two blogs is priced at $0.99 per month.
So if you’re a Kindle owner, I hope you’ll give the Kindle version of this humor blog and/or the Kindle version of my political satire blog a try.
Just What Drivers Need — More Distractions!
Tuesday, January 19th, 2010I’m as big a web addict as the next woman. But do we really need Internet-enabled dashboards in our cars? Don’t drivers already have enough to distract them? Sorry, but this concept just isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Insane auto technology like this cries out for a limerick:
Just What Drivers Need — More Distractions!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Are you feeling too focused while driving?
Well, help from your dashboard’s arriving:
Watch the net in your car.
Yes, wherever you are
You can surf. Wish you luck with surviving.
Kindle Controversy
Sunday, July 19th, 2009It sounds like something out of George Orwell: E-book editions of 1984 and Animal Farm have been vanishing from people’s personal Kindles. I might add that these e-books have been purchased and fully paid for.
Amazon, at the request of an Orwellian publisher, has been repossessing these e-books without permission and refunding the purchase price. (More commentary here, plus my three verse limerick about this outrageous invasion of privacy, plus an update about Amazon’s welcome Kindle policy change.)
Update: If you would like to read this general humor blog on your Kindle reader you can subscribe right here.
If you would like to read my other political satire blog on your Kindle device, you can subscribe right here.
My Advice To Spammers (Limerick)
Thursday, June 25th, 2009My Advice To Spammers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear spammers, I wish you’d take heed.
A spell-check is something you need.
Though I’m surely no Freud,
You should really avoid
Sending “greeting” cards spelled more like “greed.”
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Pedestrian Plea
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009Pedestrian Plea (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a fellow named Mike,
Who was bored while out riding his bike.
So he spoke on his cell,
Did some texting, then fell.
Multitaskers, oh please take a hike.
Update: I’ve just found out that November 17th Is “National Take A Hike Day.” Something tells me, it may be meant to celebrate something a bit different.
A Robot Violinist That Plays Better Than Your Kid?
Friday, March 13th, 2009I’ve heard some bad violinists in my day … especially back when I substitute-taught elementary school music classes. But amazingly enough, this robot violinist (while lousy, of course) is better than your average fifth grade violin student.
In honor of the robot violinist, I’ve written a double limerick:
A Robot Violinist That Plays Better Than Your Kid?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Fanatics may think it’s a sin
For a robot to play violin.
But its tone ain’t as bad
As some students I’ve had.
In a contest with them, it would win.
Yes it’s weak in vibrato and phrasing.
But its rhythm and pitch are amazing.
So you’re robot averse —
I’m still sure you’ve heard worse.
And if not, I shall brace for the hazing.
My Twitter Motto (Haiku)
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009Aim for brilliant
In just one-forty characters.
Settle for inane.
Facebook Face Off?
Monday, February 16th, 2009Many Facebook users are angry or at least concerned about Facebook’s revised and more aggressive terms of service (TOS).
Consumerist has some good info here about Facebook’s perpetual content rights grab, and WebTechLaw explains the legal ramifications and what Facebook’s revised terms mean for your content.
I’ve never been a Facebook fan and now I like it even less. But at least it’s provided inspiration for a new limerick:
Facebook Face-Off
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Greedy Facebook has published new rules
Which play all its users for fools.
It’s a content rights grab—
A perpetual nab
Of your stuff just for using its tools.
UPDATE: Facebook has reversed itself about these new rules as a result of bad press and membership ire. I’ll be activating my account and I’ll see how it goes.
Multi-Task Madness
Thursday, February 12th, 2009Perhaps I’m out of line, but I think that when you get behind the wheel of a gazillion pound motorized vehicle, turn the ignition key, get into gear, hit the gas, and begin to move, you should maybe … I don’t know … PAY ATTENTION.
This approach has many advantages. For example, if you carefully observe your fellow drivers, you can:
a: Pick up lipstick application tips from the woman going 65;
b: Place bets on how far into your lane the guy next to you will swerve while switching CD’s or poking his iPod; … (Multitask Madness continues here.)
The Couple That Reads Together…
Monday, October 20th, 2008Mac|Life Magazine is running a limerick-writing contest with a cool prize — a Wacom Intuos3 6×8 tablet. The contest rules, which you can find here, include using the name Mac|Life within your limerick.
Here’s my submission:
A tech-savvy husband and wife
Once suffered occasional strife:
When their fav’rite mag came
First dibs was their aim.
Their solution? Two subs to Mac|Life.
Twitter Tweet Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)
Friday, October 10th, 2008I sure hope many of you use (or at least are familiar with) Twitter. Because Twitter is today’s limerick and haiku topic. First, my limerick:
Twitter Jitters
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I really don’t mean to sound bitter,
But it’s hard to fit humor on Twitter.
Posting tweets so damn short
Is a challenging sport,
Cuz there’s no time for laughs — just a titter.
And now my Twitter haiku (senryu):
My tweets on Twitter:
Memories, links, mutterings.
Fragments of a life.
As you might have guessed, I use Twitter. If you’d like to, you can follow my Twitter Tweets here.
But now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about Twitter. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
| 1. Elephant Small | 2. Nickers and Ink | 3. Winnie the poohi |
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your verse about Twitter in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
