A young woman who talks a blue streak,
Has a voice that’s a maddening shriek.
But although she is yappy,
Her hubby seems happy.
(It must help that the man’s an antique.)
Archive for the ‘Communication Humor’ Category
The Shrieker (Limerick)
Friday, May 17th, 2024Just In Time For Mother’s Day (Limerick)
Sunday, May 12th, 2024“You are so out of touch,” said the teen
To his mother, “and also you’re mean!”
“I do not like your tone,”
She said, seizing his phone.
“And now YOU’RE out of touch. No more screen!”
A Maddening Phrase (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 19th, 2023“Let’s circle back later,” they say.
That phrase tries my patience, so NAY!
It’s a roundabout ploy
To evade and annoy…
Plus I’m dizzy. The answer’s NO WAY!
The Troublemaker (Limerick)
Thursday, November 9th, 2023A man who inspired dissension
Had a penchant for whipping up tension.
He’d start trouble, then watch,
While sav’ring both scotch
And the “show” that was all his invention.
The Local Know-It-All (Limerick)
Friday, August 25th, 2023There’s a neighbor I try not to meet.
When I spot him, I’ll dart down the street,
For the man’s never terse,
And with chapter and verse
About topics diverse, he’s replete.
A Testy Exchange (Limerick)
Friday, June 16th, 2023Said a grad student, seething, “I reckoned
That I’d surely be first, and not second.
My exam’s been mismarked!”
The peeved prof sternly barked:
“Your ego’s remarkably fecund!”
Food Leanings (Limerick)
Sunday, June 11th, 2023I like dining on Asian cuisine,
Cooked with chicken or beef that is lean,
While chewing the fat
In a this-and-that chat
At our house. (I’ve the stay-at-home gene.)
The Con Man (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 17th, 2023A con man would speak off the cuff,
Spouting all sorts of nonsense and guff.
Loyal crowds stretched for blocks.
“You should come host for Fox,”
Said a staffer. “You’ve got the right stuff!”
Pardon My French! (Limerick)
Monday, March 20th, 2023I used to speak French fairly well,
But my accent is no longer belle,
And my “je ne sais quoi”
Is reduced to a blah.
(That damn phrase is a struggle to spell!)
(Happy UN French Language Day! — March 20)
The Key To Getting Along (Limerick)
Monday, October 17th, 2022My new boss and I get along well.
What’s our secret? We both never tell
One another our views
On religion and news.
(I suspect, though, he’s going to hell.)
*****
Happy National Boss Day!
The Confused Mom-To-Be (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 24th, 2022A mother-to-be gave a shiver.
Her whole body was soon all-aquiver.
She sobbed: “As predicted,
My diet’s restricted.
Doc told me it’s time to de-liver.”
A Colorful Exchange (Limerick)
Sunday, August 7th, 2022Sometimes, when I play with a new-to-me word, I get a bit silly:
“What color’s your purse?” asked a nurse.
“A deep purple?” The answer: “It’s ‘perse!’”
“Yes, I know. But what shade
Is your pocketbook’s suede?”
“I said ‘perse!’” (Plus a colorful curse.)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PLATE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: July 23, 2022)
Saturday, June 25th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PLATE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write CRAFT-themed limericks using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CRAFT-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of these Random Words anywhere in your limericks: COMPLAINT CELL FORBID QUIRKY BOIL.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random words and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives into adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on July 24, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 23, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my PLATE-rhyme limerick:
A slacker was caught as he ate,
By the boss, who was rather irate.
His response, when reproved
For blown deadlines? Unmoved:
“Not my fault! I’ve too much on my plate.”
And here’s my CRAFT-themed limerick:
A ship-wrecked young man on a raft
Felt sev’ral strong wind gusts abaft.
He cursed his bad luck,
His life run amok,
And the death of his rickety craft.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR Limerick:
I’m sick of my cell phone co’s quirks.
Its service employees are jerks.
When I called to complain,
Their response was insane:
“Call again with a cell phone that works.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 8th, 2022Said a gal, “Please attend to that fly.”
So her husband looked down to comply.
“But it’s zipped,” he said, bugged.
(Nothing moved when he tugged.)
“You blew it. It flew in my eye.”
(On June 8, Canadians celebrate National Insect Appreciation Day — NAIAD.)
A Failure To Communicate (Limerick)
Monday, April 18th, 2022A largely deaf fellow named Ben
Relished sex in his new girlfriend’s den.
But she’d talk during sex,
(Very much like his ex.)
His confusing reply? “Come again.”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: WASTE or WAIST at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: April 30, 2022)
Saturday, April 16th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using WASTE or WAIST at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to COMMUNICATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best COMMUNICATION-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 1, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 30, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my WASTE or WAIST-rhyme limerick:
Said a fellow, “Alas and alack,
My new pants are too tight in the back
And the front of the waist.
(They were ordered in haste.)
I need someone to cut me some slack.”
And here’s my COMMUNICATION-themed limerick:
Dear hubby, you’re right in the kitchen,
And I’m elsewhere, so though you are itchin’
To share rumors or views,
A complaint or the blues,
I can NOT hear your news, schmooze, or bitchin’.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
My Handwriting Morass (Limerick)
Sunday, January 23rd, 2022It’s “National Handwriting Day.”
Can my scrawl be deciphered? No way!
Don’t attempt to decrypt
My handwritten script;
You’ll be stumped by my scribbly display.
January 23 is “National Handwriting Day.”
