Archive for the ‘Clothing Humor’ Category
Friday, July 9th, 2021
Here’s a birthday limerick for my husband Mark, in response to his joking (I hope) query: “Mad, it’s my Birthday, and I’m feeling a bit down, so would it be OK if I visited our local ecdysiast?”
Happy birthday to Mark! You’re the best!
Though you’re old, you still live life with zest.
I am joking, of course;
If you’re old, I perforce
Am antique. (So no dancers undressed!)
Tags: Age Humor, Bawdy Humor, Birthday Limerick, Clothing Humor, Dancing Humor, Husband Wife Humor, Marriage Humor, Old Age Humor, Stripper Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Bawdy Limericks, Birthday Verse, Clothing Humor, Dance Humor, Limericks, Personal | Comments Off on Birthday Limerick For Hubby Mark
Saturday, May 29th, 2021
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SET or BeSET or UpSET at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to TRENDS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best TRENDS-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 13, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 12, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SET or BeSET or UpSET-rhyme limerick:
I need all the sleep I can get,
But I can’t get to sleep on a bet.
(Or a bed, for that matter.)
I blame all the chatter
My brain conjures up. I’m beset.
And here’s my TRENDS-themed limerick:
If I tried to be cool, I would fail.
Trends are nothing I ever would hail.
If I wear something “in,”
It has probably been
Purchased decades ago … and on sale.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brain Humor, Brain Limerick, Clothes Shopping, Clothing Humor, Competition Limerick, Fad Humor, Insomnia Humor, Insomnia Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Shopping Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Sleep Limerick, Trends Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Contests, Fashion Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Sleep & Insomnia Humor | 150 Comments »
Sunday, February 16th, 2020
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CASH or CACHE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CLOTHING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CLOTHING-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on March 1, 2020 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 29, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CASH/CACHE-Rhyme limerick:
I’m in a big rush and must dash
To the bank, cuz I’m all out of cash.
Then there’s lunch and a meeting
And hours of tweeting
Snide gripes — pols and neighbors to bash.
And here’s my CLOTHING-themed limerick:
A woman was totally bare;
She’d removed all her clothes on a dare,
Then shopped aroun’ town
Till a cop flagged her down.
Her excuse? “I have nothing to wear.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Clothes Shopping, Competition Limerick, Law And Order, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money Limerick, Nudity, Poetry & Prompts, Police Humor, Social Media Humor, Tweet Humor, Twitter Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Shopping Humor, Social Media Humor, Twitter Humor | 128 Comments »
Wednesday, August 21st, 2019
A woman with terrible taste
Believed fashion and style were a waste,
And when items she owned
Became trendy she groaned;
They were thrown in the garbage posthaste.
Happy World Fashion Day! (August 21)
Tags: August Holidays, Clothing Humor, Fashion Day, Fashion Limerick, Odd Holidays, Style Limerick, World Fashion Day
Posted in Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Unfashionable Limerick
Saturday, March 10th, 2018
Though it’s “Skirt Day,” I’d rather wear pants,
Whether walking or trying to dance.
I’ll ponder and pause,
Lest I feature my flaws —
Flaws that skirts simply love to enhance.
Tags: Clothes Humor, Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Fashion Verse, Flaws, Flaws Humor, March Holidays, National Skirt Day, Odd Holidays, Skirt Day, Skirt Humor, Skirts
Posted in Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Skirting Skirt-Racks (Limerick)
Tuesday, March 6th, 2018
“You’re moving too much. Please hold still,”
Said a seamstress while sewing a frill
On a dress that was drab
And would never be fab,
Though it WOULD yield a fabulous bill.
Happy Dress Day! (March 6)
Tags: Clothes Humor, Clothes Limericks, Clothing Humor, Dress Day, Dress Humor, Fashion Humor, Fashion Verse, March Holidays, National Dress Day, Odd Holidays
Posted in Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy Dress Day (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 28th, 2018
A woman was using the sink
To launder her shirt, stained with ink.
She’d soap and she’d wet it,
Then see that she’d spread it.
But at least she looks pretty in pink.
Happy Pink Shirt Day! (Pink Shirt Day is a Canadian anti-bullying holiday celebrated on the 4th Wednesday in February.)
Tags: Anti-Bullying, Bullies, Canada, Clothes Humor, Clothing Humor, Ink Humor February Holidays, Laundry Humor, Odd Holidays, Pink Ink, Pink Shirt Day
Posted in Canada, Chores Humor, Clothing Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Laundry Blues (Limerick)
Thursday, January 25th, 2018
Happy “Clashing Clothes Day!” (4th Thursday of January)
Said a gal to her spouse, with a frown:
“Tell me, why are you dressed like a clown?
Orange jacket? Green shirt?
Purple pants? My eyes hurt!
Just this once, can’t you wear solid brown?”
#ClashingClothesDay #NationalClashingClothesDay
Tags: Appearance Humor, Clashing Clothes Day, Clothes Humor, Clothing Humor, Clothing Poem, Design Humor, Fashion Humor, January Holidays, Odd Holidays, Style Humor
Posted in Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy “Clashing Clothes Day!” (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2017
Headline of the Day: “For $425, Nordstrom will sell you a pair of dirty jeans.”
Pricey fashion (to me) doesn’t track,
And much of it makes my jaws slack,
Such as pre-muddied jeans;
Yes, people with means
Can buy ’em at Nordstrom, alack!
Tags: Buying Jeans, Clothes Shopping, Dirty Jeans, Fashion Satire, Fashion Verse, Jeans Humor, Nordstrom, Style Humor
Posted in Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Shopping Humor | Comments Off on Out Of Whack Fashion (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 5th, 2016
Today’s the bikini’s 70th birthday. So happy World Bikini Day!
I’ve never dared don a bikini;
They’re too skimpily small — teeny-weenie.
Call me shy if you must,
But I simply don’t lust
After beachwear that’s dwarfed by a beanie.
Tags: Beachwear, Bikini Day, Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, July Holidays, Odd Holidays, Swimming Humor
Posted in Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor | Comments Off on Happy Birthday, Bikini (Limerick)
Saturday, May 28th, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using Press or Impress or Express or Oppress at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ANGER, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best anger-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on June 12, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 11, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
When job-seekers “dress to impress”
At the office, that’s helpful I guess.
But must social attire
Entail and require
Spending ev’ry last cent you possess?
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Clothing Humor, Competition Limerick, Employment Humor, Fashion Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Contests, Fashion Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Workplace & Career Humor | 79 Comments »
Monday, May 9th, 2016
AWOL socks are a grim laundry given;
Former pairs inexplicably riven,
Dresser drawers oddly littered
With orphans, embittered
And wond’rin’ where old mates are livin’.
*****
Yet another sock
Has escaped; it’s on the run.
AWOL! Or eaten.
May 9 is National Lost Sock Memorial Day. And December 4 is National Sock Day.
Tags: Clothing Humor, December Holidays, Fashion Humor, Footware Humor, Lost Sock Memorial Day, May Holidays, National Sock Day, Odd Holidays, Socks, Sorting Socks Humor
Posted in Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode And Haiku To Lost Sock Memorial Day
Friday, January 29th, 2016
Damn! I somehow missed “Clashing Clothes Day” yesterday. (It’s celebrated annually on the 4th Thursday of January.)
But it’s never too late for a limerick:
A fellow who’d constantly clash
And wear clothes that appeared to be trash,
Attended a party
Quite retro and arty.
His clothing “designs” were a smash.
Tags: Appearance Humor, Art Limerick, Clashing Clothes Day, Clothes Humor, Clothing Poem, Design Humor, January Holidays, Odd Holidays, Party Humor, Style Humor, Trends Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Fashion Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To “Clashing Clothes Day”
Sunday, January 17th, 2016
A limerick for Customer Service Day (January 17):
A seamstress would frequently snap
At her patrons, increasing the gap
Between income and cost.
Seems her bus’ness was lost
Cuz of failure to button her yap!
Tags: Business Humor, Clothes Humor, Customer Service Day, Customer Service Humor, January Holidays, Odd Holidays, Seamstress Humor, Sewing Humor, Shopping Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Clothing Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holidays, Shopping Humor | Comments Off on Sowing Angry Customers (Limerick)
Friday, January 15th, 2016
What’s my excuse for this ridiculous limerick? It’s National Hat Day. (January 15)
A woman who always wore hats
Would never be seen without spats.
Did they match? But of course!
And this clotheshorse’s course
Was to also adopt matching cats.
Tags: Clothes Humor, Clothing Humor, Hat Day, Hat Humor, Hat Limerick, January Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Clothing Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy National Hat Day! (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 22nd, 2015
Guys who despise ties (and who doesn’t?) will love New York City’s new gender discrimination rule banning restaurants from requiring ties for male diners only.
A male-only necktie demand
In Big Apple rest’rants is banned.
This new rule now protects
Our poor fellows’ sore necks.
How grand that such sexism’s panned!
Tags: Clothing Humor, Discrimination Limerick, Gender Humor, Necktie Limerick, Restaurant Humor, Sexism Humor, Tie Humor
Posted in Clothing Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | Comments Off on No Longer Tied To Ties (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 4th, 2015
Not Mad About The Weather (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Each summer I bitch about heat.
Humidity too makes me bleat.
But the current one’s better
Than most — wore a sweater
One night, which beats sweat indiscreet.
(DVerse Poets wants weather about the dog days of summer.)
Tags: Clothing Humor, Seasonal Verse, Summer Gripes, Summer Humor, Sweat Humor, Sweater Humor, Weather Humor
Posted in Clothing Humor, Limericks, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, July 1st, 2015
Yet Another Donald Trump Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Donald’s a pain in the rump.
Just seeing his name makes me jump
And turn grumpy and peeved,
So I’m rather relieved:
Macy’s dumping the “fashion” line “Trump.”
(More Donald Trump humor here.)
Tags: Clothes Humor, Clothes Shopping, Donald Trump, Fashion Humor, Macy's, Shopping Humor
Posted in Clothing Humor, Donald Trump, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Shopping Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, June 20th, 2015
The U.N. has decreed June 21 to be International Day Of Yoga … which gives me a handy excuse to post this silly limerick:
A gal doing yoga while dressed
In a toga, when questioned, confessed
That her garb did not work—
Turned her poses berserk.
So instead of relaxed, she was stressed.
Tags: Clothing Humor, Exercise Humor, Health Limericks, International Day of Yoga, International Yoga Day, June Holidays, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Relaxation Humor, Stress Humor, Toga Humor, Yoga Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Clothing Humor, Exercise Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Odd Holidays, Physical Appearance | 1 Comment »
