Archive for the ‘Chores Humor’ Category
Thursday, May 27th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who hated to clean…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Not-So-Clean Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who hated to clean
Was a bach’lor. (You know what I mean.)
His home was a wreck,
Filled with dust-covered dreck.
The mess was quite frankly obscene.
When he took a cute date to his place,
She fled, saying “What a disgrace!
I refuse to date pigs.
Get me out of these digs.
And my phone number? Kindly erase.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Bachelor Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Dating Poem, House & Home, Household Chores, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Spring Cleaning, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Chores Humor, Dating Humor, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 15 Comments »
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
Dear Press: Clean Up Your Own Damn Mess! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We get headlines each March from the press:
“It’s Spring — Time To Clean Up Your Mess.”
Seems they’re too dumb to know
That we’re still getting snow.
Dear journos, stop giving me stress!
Related Post: Guilt Springs Eternal
Tags: House & Home, Household Chores, March Holidays, Media Limerick, Seasonal Verse, Spring Cleaning, Stress Humor, Weather Poem
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Chores Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, February 11th, 2010
I’m so sick of this snowy New York winter. And of all the fretful phone calls from my mother-in-law, warning hubby Mark about snow shoveling and heart attacks. Funny, she isn’t at all concerned about my heart.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Send Us Spring, STAT!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m achy from head down to toe.
The cause? I’ve been shoveling snow.
I wanted to punt,
But instead, did our front,
While my spouse did the rest — quid pro quo.
********
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the one up side of February which is coming up very soon: Valentines Day. And so happy Valentines day, especially to you fellows who may find this Valentines Day column helpful. Gals, you can thank me later.
Tags: Health Risks, Heart Attack Poetry, Mother-in-Law Humor, New York Weather, Seasonal Verse, Shoveling Snow, Snow Poetry, Snow Storm Poem, Snow Verse, Weather Poem, Winter Limerick
Posted in Chores Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor, Relationship Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 6 Comments »
Sunday, March 29th, 2009
Guilt Springs Eternal
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Spring has arrived. Do you feel guilty yet? If not, you apparently don’t read women’s magazines. Every March and April they’re packed with “clean up and organize your life” articles. Stories with catchy titles like Spring Into Action — Tidy Up Your House. Or Wash Away Winter Blues. Or Banish Clutter Now; Otherwise We’ll Keep Torturing You With Articles Meant to Make you Feel Like A Slothful Bum. Personally, I’d rather read Why Clean? It Will Only Get Dirty Again Tomorrow.
Why do magazines publish these pieces? Because every spring millions of women have the same Pavlovian response: Guilt. Guilt quickly followed by a spending spree on periodicals and cleaning supplies. They grab every magazine in sight and, in a fit of post-New Year’s resolution fervor, vow to Martha Stewartize their homes.
Do these articles help? Do they unlock the sacred secret of “eat off your basement floor” womanhood? Hahahahahahaha. Pardon me — I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were serious. (Guilt Springs Eternal continues here.)
Tags: Chores, Essays, Feminism, Guilt, House, Magazines, March Holidays, Martha Stewart, Media, Men, Parody, Seasons, Spring Cleaning, Women
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Chores Humor, Feminist Satire, House & Home Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Media Humor, Seasons Humor | 11 Comments »
Monday, March 19th, 2007
That Errant List
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Oh, what have I done with my list
Of the things I must do to exist?
Every errand and chore,
Bills to pay, forms galore—
They’re all itemized … even my tryst.
UPDATE: October 30th is Checklist Day.
View my Errant List limerick image here.
Tags: Checklist Day, Checklist Humor, Checklists Day, Chores, Compulsive Behavior Humor, Errands, Getting Organized Humor, Limerick Images, List Humor, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Chores Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 2 Comments »
Friday, February 16th, 2007
My latest limerick was inspired by this week’s New York weather:
Wintry Woes
By Madeleine Begun Kane
In winter, a job I’d not pick
Is wielding an ice pick, when sick.
I abhor it, when well
And, when ill, well, it’s hell.
Oh my heavens, the hail’s coming quick!
Tags: Chores, Hail, Ice Picks, Illness, Snow Poetry, Tools, Weather Humor, Winter
Posted in Chores Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 2 Comments »
