Archive for the ‘Children Humor’ Category
Sunday, November 25th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who wasn’t too bright…*
or
A fellow who wasn’t too bright…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Bright Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who wasn’t too bright
Met a fellow who wasn’t quite “right.”
They wed, had a kid—
High IQ — off the grid.
Please don’t ask “Who’s the dad?”— Impolite!
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Children Humor, Competition Limerick, Intelligence, IQ Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Limerick, Moms & Dads Limerick, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Parents, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Children Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 97 Comments »
Wednesday, October 31st, 2012
Though schools remain closed,
trick-or-treat stash is untouched:
Halloween Sandy.
*****
Hurricane Sandy
sure outpaces Halloween
in sheer spookiness.
Tags: Candy Humor, Children Humor, Food Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Halloween Humor, Hurricane Sandy, New York Weather, October Holidays, Trick-or-Treat, Weather Poem
Posted in Children Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Weather Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, June 14th, 2012
One Father’s Day Limerick Too Many?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A pregnant young woman named Kay
Was due to give birth the next day.
So it wasn’t sublime
When her spouse picked that time
To confess that he really was gay.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Father's Day Humor, Gay Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, June Holidays, Marital Relationships, Parenting Humor, Pregnancy Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, December 27th, 2011
Toys “R” Us seems to be selling some potty-mouthed dolls:
Pauline Davis bought some last minute presents for her grandchildren Christmas Eve, but when she brought three talking dolls back to her Oaklyn, N.J. home, she got a rude surprise.
The dolls giggle, coo, and then say something that sounds exactly like, “OK, crazy bitch.”
The three dolls called “You and Me Play and Giggle Triplets” are made just for the Toys “R” Us brand, and Toys “R” Us is sticking by its alleged potty-mouthed pixies.
Potty-Mouthed Dolls — I’m Not Toying With You (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Toys “R” Us has encountered a hitch
In its baby doll sales and it’s rich.
They should babble and burble,
But these dolls are verbal:
They exclaim loud and clear “Crazy Bitch.”
Tags: Children Humor, Christmas Gift Humor, Shopping Humor, Shopping Verse, Stores Limerick, Swearing Verse, Talking Dolls, Toys "R" Us, Toys Humor
Posted in Children Humor, Gift Giving Humor, Limericks, Shopping Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, November 27th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow whose last dime was spent…
or
A woman whose last dime was spent…
Here’s mine:
Spent Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose last dime was spent
On a gal below age of consent
Did nothing illicit,
Though mom was complicit:
‘Twas a “sweet sixteen” birthday event.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Age Of Consent, Birthday Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Verse, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Sweet Sixteen Party, Writing Prompts
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Birthday Verse, Celebrations Poetry, Children Humor, Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 75 Comments »
Sunday, November 20th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man was attempting to eat…
or
A gal was attempting to eat…
Here’s mine, which I hope doesn’t describe your Thanksgiving dinner:
Edible Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man was attempting to eat
When he spotted a mouse near his seat.
So he smashed down his foot,
And the mouse went kaput,
As his kid cried, “You killed little Pete!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Children Limerick, Food Humor, Food Verse, Mice Humor, Parenting Humor, Pets Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Thanksgiving, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 72 Comments »
Sunday, September 4th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was trying to dine…
or
A woman was trying to dine…
Here’s mine:
Dining On Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was trying to dine,
When a teenager started to whine.
Then a baby chimed in —
Spoiled his steak. What a sin!
So he yelled, “Damn those children of mine!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Children Limerick, Food Verse, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Restaurant Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Children Humor, Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 75 Comments »
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011
As I’ve mentioned before, I enjoy the challenge of writing acrostic limericks. But I found the latest acrostic limerick prompt from Acrostic Only to be tougher than usual. Here’s what I came up with:
One Headache of an Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Pleasant dreams are quite hard to secure
On nights when you have to endure
Unspeakable noise:
Next door neighbors with boys,
Deaf’ning dogs, and the parents on tour.
Tags: Acrostic Poems, Animals Poetry, Badly Behaved Children, Child Humor, Dogs Verse, Headaches Humor, Insomnia Verse, Noise Humor, Noisy Neighbors, Pets Verse, Sleep Poetry
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Animal & Pet Humor, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Neighbors Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor | 25 Comments »
Tuesday, May 17th, 2011
I found myself a new serendipitous oxymoron at the prompt generator I played with yesterday. So the subject of today’s limerick is an Adorable Tyrant:
An Adorable Tyrant (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An “adorable tyrant?” Sounds wild!
A strange combo of mean and the mild.
I might even buy tix
To see such a mix,
Unless it’s a three-year-old child.
Tags: Children Humor, Oxymorons, Serendipity, Tyrant Humor, Writing Fix, Writing Prompts
Posted in Children Humor, Limericks, Oxymoron Humor | 21 Comments »
Sunday, October 31st, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A frazzled new father named Jim…
Here’s mine:
Frazzled Limerick (Frazzled Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A frazzled new father named Jim
Bought his baby toy trains on a whim.
When his wife saw the gift,
She was terribly miffed,
So she yelled, “That’s for you. What’s for him?”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Update: May 2 is Baby Day.
Tags: Baby Day, Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, May Holidays, Model Trains Humor, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Sunday, April 25th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A wealthy old woman named Kate…
Here’s mine:
A Dog Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Left her dog an enormous estate.
Her children all stewed
Till they finally sued.
Who won? Well, each lawyer did great.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Children Humor, Dog Verse, Estate Limerick, Inheritance Humor, Lawyers, Litigation Humor, Money Poems, Parental Humor, Pet Owners, Poetry & Prompts, Wealth, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 26 Comments »
Thursday, June 18th, 2009
Empty Nest (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was feeling depressed.
(Her syndrome is called “empty nest.”)
Her home was too calm.
She missed being a mom—
Though her spouse “helped” by being a pest.
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Depression, Empty Nest Syndrome, Family, House & Home, Husbands, Limericks, Mental Health, Parenting, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mental Health Humor | 19 Comments »
Friday, March 13th, 2009
I’ve heard some bad violinists in my day … especially back when I substitute-taught elementary school music classes. But amazingly enough, this robot violinist (while lousy, of course) is better than your average fifth grade violin student.
In honor of the robot violinist, I’ve written a double limerick:
A Robot Violinist That Plays Better Than Your Kid?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Fanatics may think it’s a sin
For a robot to play violin.
But its tone ain’t as bad
As some students I’ve had.
In a contest with them, it would win.
Yes it’s weak in vibrato and phrasing.
But its rhythm and pitch are amazing.
So you’re robot averse —
I’m still sure you’ve heard worse.
And if not, I shall brace for the hazing.
Tags: Children, Computers, Elementary School, Music, Music Students, Phrasing, Robot Musicians, Robots, Science, String Players, Substitute Teaching, Technology, Vibrato, Violinist
Posted in Children Humor, Computer Humor, Education & School Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Robot Humor, Science Humor, Technology Humor | 6 Comments »
Friday, March 7th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is age and/or life stages. First, my limerick:
“Let’s begin at the top of the page,”
Said the coach to the gals on the stage.
“You’re supposed to be teens.
You should know what that means.
So I’m begging you—please—act your age.”
And here’s my haiku:
Cranky digestion
Recalcitrant intestines
Aging wastefully.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about age and/or life stages. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.
(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)
Tags: Acting Limerick, Aging, Digestion Humor, Teens, Theater Humor, Theatre Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Children Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 7 Comments »
Friday, February 15th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is bad jobs. Why? Because everyone I know has had at least one really awful job. As for me, I’ve had more bad jobs than I’d care to remember. So here’s a pair of poems about two of them. First, my limerick about substitute teaching:
In my twenties I substitute taught.
‘Tis a challenging job and it’s fraught;
All those calls before dawn
To instruct devil’s spawn
Made me anxious, uptight—overwrought.
And now, my haiku about working in a discount department store:
Discount lingerie:
Folded, painstakingly shelved.
Soon to be litter.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about bad jobs. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.
Tags: Bad Jobs, Department Store, Discount Lingerie, Education Limerick, Employment Humor, Job Limerick, School Humor, Shoppers, Substitute Teaching
Posted in Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Shopping Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 13 Comments »
Saturday, November 24th, 2007
Yes, I know this is supposed to be a humor blog. But this “misspent youth” poetry prompt inspired me to write a serious limerick:
Misspent Youth?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We tend to be charmed and beguiled
By a talented prodigy child—
One who labors all day
With his gifts on display,
Stifling youth, which is meant to be wild.
Tags: Child Prodigy Verse, Misspent Youth, Talented Kids
Posted in Children Humor, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Social Satire | 12 Comments »
Monday, November 12th, 2007
This week’s theme over at BlogFriday is annoyances, and I’m betting this scenario will ring a bell:
One Of These Days, I’ll Actually Say This (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We’re annoyed by your motormouth child.
He is boist’rous and noisy and wild.
So please put a lid
On your rude, rowdy kid.
Cuz, trust me, we aren’t beguiled.
Tags: Annoyances Limerick, Badly Behaved Child, Children Humor, Misbehaving Kids, Parenting Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor | 5 Comments »
Monday, August 20th, 2007
It’s mid-August, which means back-to-school day is just around the corner. And that in turn means it’s time to start shopping for school supplies: rulers and notebooks and pens and lunch boxes and calculators and computers and school clothes and … bulletproof backpacks???
“We’re just trying to give kids a defensive tool to use in case something does happen,” Curran said of the backpacks, which sell for $175 US. …
Since they started selling online last week, they’ve sold out of their initial stock of several hundred backpacks and are now ordering a new shipment from Massachusetts.
Methinks this calls for a limerick:
Bulletproof Backpacks: In Case Your Kid’s Classmate Is Packing
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Selling bulletproof backpacks? How sad!
Could the safety of schools be so bad,
That parents must buy
Such an item? Oh my!
Are they needed, or just a mad fad?
(You can find more of my school and education humor here.)
Tags: Back To School, Bulletproof Backpacks, Education Limerick, School Safety, School Supplies, Schooling Satire
Posted in Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Guns & Safety Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Polls, Shopping Humor | 6 Comments »
Saturday, June 16th, 2007
Married To Money
By Madeleine Begun Kane
He’s a cheapskate, so stingy with cash,
That he threw an embarrassing bash:
When his daughter was wed
He paid eight bucks a head,
So no band, booze, or blooms — only hash.
I have lots more money humor here. And don’t forget to enter my money-themed limerick contest with money prizes. Okay, not a lot of money, but still…
Tags: Cheapskate Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Marriage Limerick, Parenting, Stinginess, Wedding Limerick
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Relationship Humor | 3 Comments »
Friday, April 13th, 2007
A Doggone Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“It’s so cute!” said the child, with delight.
“You can’t have it,” said Mom. “Puppies bite.
It’s adorable, true,
But dogs nip, bark, and chew,
And your Daddy will cower in fright.”
UPDATE: Happy National Puppy Day! (March 23rd)
Tags: Animal Satire, Child Humor, Family Fun, March Holidays, National Puppy Day, Odd Holidays, Parental Humor, Pet Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Humor | 2 Comments »
