Archive for the ‘Business Humor’ Category
Tuesday, January 12th, 2010
A limerick in honor of Conan O’Brien’s Solomon-like decision about the Tonight Show — not to “seriously damage what [he considers] to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting,” (I wrote it both as a fan and as a recovering lawyer.)
Go, Conan!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Conan, I’m glad you refused.
By your Network, you’ve sure been abused.
You’re right to be teed.
You’re a class act, indeed.
NBC’s breach can not be excused.
Update: I haven’t seen Conan’s contract. But here’s NBC’s argument, as I understand it: NBC can legally air The Tonight Show with Conan at 12:05 a.m. after a new half-hour Leno show, because O’Brien’s contract doesn’t specify a time. I don’t buy it.
Following NBC’s argument to its logical conclusion, NBC could air The Tonight Show at 4:00 a.m., or even at noon. In fact, by NBC’s reasoning, Conan could have stayed at his old 12:35 a.m. slot and Jay could have kept his original 11:35 p.m. Tonight Show slot. All NBC would have had to do would be to change the names of the shows: Conan’s to the Tonight Show, and Jay’s to the Jay Leno Show. Sorry, NBC, this doesn’t pass the straight-faced test.
One more point: Rumor has it that Jay’s contract specifies a 10 p.m. time, and that (the argument goes) this weakens Conan’s position. I disagree. Conan O’Brien was being promoted to a show that already existed in a specific time slot, whereas Jay’s show was being created from scratch. So they are not analogous situations.
Update 2: Is this a slam dunk for Conan? No. But as a “recovering lawyer” who litigated my share of contract disputes, I’d rather take Conan’s case to a jury.
Tags: Conan O'Brien, Jay Leno, Late Night TV, Law Humor, Media, NBC, Team CoCo, Team Conan, Television Humor, Tonight Show
Posted in Business Humor, Celebrity Humor, Conan O'Brien Verse, Entertainment Humor, Jay Leno Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
Counted Out
By Madeleine Begun Kane
They praised his accounting as splendid,
But told him his contract had ended.
So why was he sacked?
His report said they lacked
Enough cash—they were overextended.
Tags: Accountant Poem, Accounting Humor, Job Humor, Money Poems, Professions Limerick
Posted in Business Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 1 Comment »
Sunday, July 19th, 2009
It sounds like something out of George Orwell: E-book editions of 1984 and Animal Farm have been vanishing from people’s personal Kindles. I might add that these e-books have been purchased and fully paid for.
Amazon, at the request of an Orwellian publisher, has been repossessing these e-books without permission and refunding the purchase price. (More commentary here, plus my three verse limerick about this outrageous invasion of privacy, plus an update about Amazon’s welcome Kindle policy change.)
Update: If you would like to read this general humor blog on your Kindle reader you can subscribe right here.
If you would like to read my other political satire blog on your Kindle device, you can subscribe right here.
And my limerick about Kindle blogs is here.
Tags: E-Books, Kindles, Orwellian, Privacy
Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Internet Humor, Kindle Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Privacy Satire, Technology Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
Agency Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was an agent, quite tough,
Who cut all his deals in the buff.
When his clients asked why,
He would give this reply:
“When I’m nude, no one dares give me guff.”
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Agent, Business, Clients, Deals, Negotiation, Nudity, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Business Humor, Communication Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Money & Finance Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
I couldn’t let the launch of Google-challenger Bing pass without a limerick:
Battle of the Search Engines
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A search engine yearns to be king.
Its name, for some reason, is Bing.
It’s Microsoft’s baby.
Hurt Google? Well, maybe.
Their quest? Lots of ad business bling.
Tags: Ad Revenue, Bing, Business, Computers, Google, Internet, Limericks, Microsoft, Money, Net, Search Engines, Technology, Web
Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Search Engine Tools, Technology Humor | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, September 24th, 2008
We’re in the middle of a financial crisis that affects almost everyone. So I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks and haiku (senryu) about our Wall Street woes. First, my limerick:
I shudder when opening mail,
And my sinking accounts make me wail.
I would sure like to beat
Up those guys on the Street,
But I fear that I can’t afford bail.
And now my haiku (senryu):
Financial vultures
First gobble up our assets,
Then demand dessert.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about Wall Street woes. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until October 3rd to post it.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your verse about Wall Street woes in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
Tags: Economic Meltdown, Economy Humor, Finance Haiku, Financial Verse, Money Limerick, Wall Street Woes, Writing Prompts
Posted in Business Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 11 Comments »
Friday, May 9th, 2008
The Outgoing Message I’d love To (But Probably Shouldn’t) Leave On My Answering Machine
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Your party can’t come to the phone.
She’s at lunch or home sick. Please don’t moan.
Leave a message, or not.
I don’t care — I’m a bot.
But my owner says, “Leave me alone!”
(For more phone-related verse, visit Sunday Scribblings.)
UPDATE: Happy National Inane Answering Machine Message Day! (January 30th)
UPDATE 2: April 25 is National Telephone Day.
Tags: Answering Machine Limerick, April Holidays, Business Poem, January Holidays, National Inane Answering Machine Message Day, National Telephone Day, Odd Holidays, Outgoing Messages, Phone Humor, Telephone Day, Telephone Verse, Voicemail Humor, Workplace Poetry
Posted in Business Humor, Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Social Satire, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 6 Comments »
Friday, May 9th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is email and/or spam. First, my limerick:
I’m out of the office right now.
Do I hate answ’ring email? And how!
Missed your missive? I’m glad,
So I won’t say I’m sad.
Pester some other worker-bee. Ciao!
And now my three spam-related haiku:
Suffocating spam
Pours into my computer,
Drowning out meaning.
Virulent spammers
Take over my computer,
Devouring its core.
My email pours in,
The meaningful lost,
Strangled by spam.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about email and/or spam. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your email-themed verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
Tags: Career Poem, Email Hell Humor, Email Limerick, Spam Verse, Writing Prompts
Posted in Business Humor, Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Email Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Spam Humor, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, October 21st, 2007
Did you know that the Xerox office copying revolution was born on October 22, 1938? This led to two large drops: Mimeographic machine sales … and men’s pants.
Tags: Historical Dates, Jokes, October Holidays, One-Liners, Tech Humor, Xerox Copy Machines
Posted in Business Humor, History Humor, Jokes & One-Liners, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Great Moments In History: Happy Birthday Xerox Copier!
Monday, October 15th, 2007
Did you know that tomorrow, October 16th, is National Boss Day? So, are you excited yet?
I thought I’d “celebrate” National Boss Day with a pair of limericks:
Workplace Diplomacy Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Please mind your own business, I said,
To a woman whose presence I dread.
She is pushy and rude,
Rather nosy and crude.
Even worse—she’s the gal my boss wed.
A Brief Beef
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My boss yelled, “I’ve got a big beef:
Your briefings are seldom … well … brief.
I want the essentials.
You give me tangentials.”
“So long,” I replied, with relief.
(You can find my National Bosses Day limerick here and more of my employment humor here.)
Tags: Boss Humor, Briefings Humor, National Boss Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Work Humor, Workplace Diplomacy
Posted in Business Humor, Celebrations Poetry, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Workplace & Career Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, August 24th, 2007
If you’re ever in Scottsdale, Arizona and feel the need to buy jeans, prepare yourself for a scary rear view:
Worried that new pair of high-fashion jeans may just make your butt look fat? Now shoppers in one upscale Scottsdale store [The Hub] can check it out for themselves before someone else makes the observation – using the Butt Cam, a camera positioned just so that’s connected to a video screen on a dressing room wall.
And if that doesn’t sound bad enough:
The setup also allows Hub employees to display views of their more confident shoppers on flat-screen TVs behind the cash registers for all to see.
This brings me to my latest limerick:
No Butt Cams For Me — No Ifs, Ands, Or Buts
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Butt Cam sure sounds rather crass,
But it gives you a view of your ass
While you’re trying on jeans.
And you know what that means?
It should tell almost all: “Take a pass!”
(You can find more of my fashion and shopping humor here.)
Tags: Butt Cam, Butt Camera, Buying Jeans, Clothes Shopping, Dressing Room Cameras, Fashion Satire, Scottsdale Arizona, Shopping Humor, Video Screens
Posted in Business Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Marketing Humor, Physical Appearance, Polls, Shopping Humor | 3 Comments »
Monday, July 23rd, 2007
Games People Play … At Meetings
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Buzzword bingo’s a game workers play
To record pompous things people say:
With a buzzword list near,
They mark jargon they hear,
In their quest to keep boredom at bay.
(My previous humor about meetings is here.)
Tags: Boredom, Buzzword Bingo, Jargon, Pomposity, Work Fun, Work Limerick, Workplace Games
Posted in Business Humor, Games Humor, Hobbies Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Games People Play … At Meetings
Thursday, July 12th, 2007
Pity The Poor Lawyer
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Your billable hours are low,”
Said the partner. “They simply must grow.
It behooves you to hike them
Or better, please spike them.
To lunch breaks and sleep, just say no!”
(This is but one of many reasons why I’m a “recovering lawyer.” You can find more of my law humor here.)
Tags: Billable Hours, Law Partner, Lawyer Limerick, Lunch Breaks, Work Satire, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Business Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, May 14th, 2007
Do you work with anybody like this? I sure hope not!
Bandwidth Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I’ve no bandwidth for that,” some folks say.
It’s their style of responding, “No way!
I’ve no time. I am beat.
I have deadlines to meet.
I’m maxed out. I can’t help you. Okay?”
Tags: Anxiety Humor, Bandwidth, Deadlines, Maxed Out, Pressure, Stress Humor, Time Pressure, Workplace Tension
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Business Humor, Communication Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Social Satire, Time Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, March 19th, 2007
A Rueful Rhyme
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Your inventions are brilliant, it’s true.
Yes, you’re smart; it’s your rudeness I rue.
I regret that I met you,
My failure to vet you,
And, mostly, my saying, “I do.”
Tags: Husband Wife Humor, Marriage Satire, Relationship Fun, Vetting Humor, Working Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 9 Comments »
Monday, March 5th, 2007
Office Politics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Your career is at stake, you should know,
And you don’t want that guy as a foe.
Though his title ain’t fancy,
To mock him is chancy:
That fellow’s the president’s beau.
Tags: Business Satire, Career Satire, Office Politics Humor, Work Humor, Workplace Satire
Posted in Business Humor, Limericks, Social Satire, Workplace & Career Humor | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
Backup Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
They told me to back up my drive,
Which has crashed—it’s no longer alive.
Had I heeded their warning,
I wouldn’t be mourning
My data, which didn’t survive.
Tags: Backups, Business Satire, Computer Satire, Computers, Crashes, Hard Drive, Lost Data, Money Satire, Technology, Technology Satire
Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Limericks, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 11 Comments »
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
Antique Antics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is this lampshade antique or just old?
They tell me it’s rare. I’m not sold.
But I had it appraised
And was rather amazed:
It’s worth thousands, though covered in mold.
Tags: Antiques Humor, Appraisals, Mold, Money Satire, Shopping Fun
Posted in Business Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Shopping Humor | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, December 5th, 2006
Where’s The Beef?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A butcher once had quite a beef.
His grievance? A meat-stealing thief,
A man who, when caught,
Claimed the beef had been bought.
‘Twas a story that beggared belief.
Tags: Beef, Butcher, Criminals, Food Verse, Law Humor, Meat, Theft
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Business Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, November 28th, 2006
Ode To Prosperity
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The affluent prosper quite well,
As their savings continue to swell.
It is great to be rich.
Destitution’s a bitch.
You might say that it’s taxing as hell.
(My money and tax humor is collected here.)
UPDATE: October 31 is World Savings Day.
Tags: Affluence, Destitution, Humor, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Poverty, Satire, Taxes, Wealth, World Savings Day
Posted in Business Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holdays, Social Satire, Tax & IRS Satire | Comments Off on Ode To Prosperity
