On the heels of a terrible muck-up,
One more aptly described as a fuck-up,
Whoever’s at fault
Might resort to assault,
If you foolishly tell him to buck up.
Archive for the ‘Behavior & Personality’ Category
Ill-Advised Advice (Limerick)
Thursday, January 19th, 2023Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RUDE, RUED or ROOD at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 4, 2023)
Saturday, January 7th, 2023It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RUDE, RUED or ROOD at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DESTRUCTION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DESTRUCTION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: STRIDE, HANDY, PUNISH, FLY, BAIL.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on February 5, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 4, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my RUDE, RUED or ROOD-Rhyme Limerick:
I am stunned by the way you behave.
It appears you were raised in a cave.
You’ve a terrible tude
And you’re crude, lewd, and rude.
So there’s only one word for you: KNAVE!
And here’s my DESTRUCTION-Themed Limerick:
Here’s a factoid not everyone knows:
Perfectionist Brahms alas chose
To destroy some great stuff
He thought NOT up to snuff.
How I wish that he di’n’t decompose!
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
I tried to play “stride,” but I failed.
My small hands lacked the reach, so I bailed.
But I still remain sold
On stride pianists of old,
Whose fingers would fly, as they wailed.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BLUE or BLEW at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: January 7, 2023)
Saturday, December 10th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BLUE or BLEW at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RELIGION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RELIGION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: NAME, NAUSEOUS, PROFIT, TEASE, SILVER.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 8, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 7, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BLUE or BLEW-Rhyme Limerick:
A litigious old fellow was blue.
His friends (he had only a few)
Asked “Why the bad mood?”
The response from that dude
Was “I’ve run out of people to sue!”
And here’s my RELIGION-Themed Limerick:
A man of the cloth would not share
His frank with his date at the fair.
“That’s unfair,” she cried out.
“I gave you my kraut.
So canoodle tonight? Not a prayer!”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
There is someone I could (but won’t) name
Who makes me feel nauseous. My aim
Isn’t testing or teasing;
He’s just so displeasing,
I’d rather not add to his fame.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Bashing Boasters (Limerick)
Friday, November 25th, 2022How I loathe when folks boast! Bragging sucks!
Like my neighbor, whose car is “deluxe.”
Her “kids are the smartest,”
Her “daughter’s an artist,”
And of course her new spouse “makes big bucks.”
“Absurdity Day” Seems Absurd (Limerick)
Sunday, November 20th, 2022Today’s “National Absurdity Day,” though I can’t imagine why.
To “Absurdity Day,” I say NAY!
Cuz the NON-absurd’s faded away.
The inane seems to reign,
And the world’s gone insane.
“Use Your Brain,” though, deserves its own day!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SALE or SAIL at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: December 10, 2022)
Sunday, November 13th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SALE or SAIL at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. Here’s the last contest’s winners list.
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to GOSSIP, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best GOSSIP-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: CLASS, CATCH, FLASHY, STARE, GAIN.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on December 11, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, December 10, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my SALE or SAIL-Rhyme Limerick:
Playing Wordle, for me, is a sport,
Though it doesn’t use balls or a court,
And it fails to entail
Racing skills, or a sail.
(I am more of a “sitting down” sort.)
And here’s my GOSSIP-Themed Limerick:
A gal who was known for her chutzpah
Owned a pricey and popular foot spa.
But she gossiped about
Ev’ry foot-fetish lout,
So alas it’s become a kaput spa.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
In class, I expelled a loud yawn.
(Its eight o’clock start felt like dawn.)
I stared at the clock
And got caught. Said Prof Locke,
“Bored? Then leave!” In a flash, I was gone.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Sax Day Blues
Sunday, November 6th, 2022A limerick in honor of National Saxophone Day:
A fellow was feeling distressed;
He was restless and NOT at his best.
So he pulled out his axe
And at midnight played sax.
As house-guests go, THAT guy’s a pest!
Here We Go Again With The Clocks (Haiku)
Saturday, November 5th, 2022
The Key To Getting Along (Limerick)
Monday, October 17th, 2022My new boss and I get along well.
What’s our secret? We both never tell
One another our views
On religion and news.
(I suspect, though, he’s going to hell.)
*****
Happy National Boss Day!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DRESS or adDRESS or reDRESS at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: November 12, 2022)
Saturday, October 15th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRESS or adDRESS or reDRESS at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SINGING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best SINGING-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: EYE, RAIL, RUSH, SEAT, SNAIL.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on November 13, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, November 12, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my DRESS-Rhyme Limerick:
My sister just bawled out my niece:
“You’re unkempt and too sloppy, Elise.
You look like a mess!
Did you sleep in that dress?
I’m fed up! You must learn to de-crease.”
And here’s my SINGING-Themed Limerick:
A fellow who sang in a chorus
Tried out for the lead role in Boris.
“You are NOT good enough!”
Was the speedy rebuff.
“You sound like a sick stegosaurus.”
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
A fellow who moved like a snail
Couldn’t help it; the old man was frail.
He’d been eyeing a seat
On the train, but was beat
By a boor also trav’ling by rail.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Yet Another Brassy Limerick
Monday, October 10th, 2022Most orchestra members would groan
At the principal trumpeter’s tone.
But his job was secure,
Cuz his lips held allure
For the maestro, a horny old crone.
*****
National Trumpet Day falls on October 10.
Persnickety Patron (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 5th, 2022The oatmeal you served me was stale!
And my dinner? How dare you serve kale!
The meals here don’t thrill me.
You trying to kill me?
Better not, or I’ll see you in jail!
*****
(National Kale Day falls on the first Wednesday of October.)
A Marital Grievance (Limerick)
Thursday, September 29th, 2022I hope my using new-to-me words won’t incite grumbling:
“Republican laws are draconian,”
Raged a man at his wife. “And demonian!”
She replied, “While that’s true,
I can NOT help but rue
Having married an old grumbletonian.”
No Laughing Matter (Limerick)
Thursday, September 22nd, 2022When hubby Mark and I watch comedy, his laughter sometimes obliterates the punchlines. And that gives me a good excuse to use another new-to-me word in a limerick:
Hubby Mark has an ear-splitting laugh.
Its volume is way off the graph.
To produce cachinnation,
He needs no libation…
So I call him my much louder half.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MIND or MINED or REMIND at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 15, 2022)
Saturday, September 17th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MIND or MINED or REMIND at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BANKS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BANK-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: YAWN, CLAIM, SPORTS, LAZY, FEARLESS
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 16, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 15, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my MIND or MINED or REMIND-Rhyme Limerick:
A fellow was asked to help mind
A young dog by a gal in a bind.
But he said, “I’m tied up
And can’t help with that pup.”
The response she unleashed wasn’t kind.
And here’s my BANK-Themed Limerick:
A foolish young fellow named Frank
Had a low-level job in a bank.
When a gal asked for francs,
He informed her, “The ranks
Of this bank have just one, plus a Hank.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
When the judge caught me yawning in court,
He accused me of being the sort
Of gal “who became
An Esq., just to claim
A husband, or simply for sport.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
The Arrogant Host (Limerick)
Sunday, September 4th, 2022I encountered an arrogant host
At a bash that was more like a roast.
He’s an all-around pest
Who demeaned every guest;
His demeanor is meaner than most.
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CHIP at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: September 17, 2022)
Saturday, August 20th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using CHIP at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RELAXATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RELAXATION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: DEFECT, SMART, VOICE, SHAME, TASTE.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 18, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 17, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my CHIP-rhyme limerick:
A fellow who thought he was hip
And who bragged he’d invented a chip,
Would attempt to act cool,
But look like a fool;
Telltale chip-crumbs bespeckled his lip.
Here’s my RELAXATION-themed limerick:
A man was attempting to chill,
But his debt worries made him feel ill.
And all of his tries
To relax were unwise
Cuz they further inflated his bill.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR limerick:
With podcasts I’m highly selective;
Something witty and smart’s my objective.
Plus I must clear my choice
With my ears. If the voice
Is high-pitched, it’s, alas, deemed “defective.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Aug. 20, 2022)
Saturday, July 23rd, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BARS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BARS-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SHOP, RUN, NEWS, WARNING, FIRST.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 21, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 20, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE-rhyme limerick:
A man who was rather a flake
Would beef about folks eating steak:
“When you chew, cows can feel it,”
He’d hiss. “As for veal, it
Is worse, so I cotton to snake.”
And here’s my BARS-themed limerick:
A pub owner often stole cars,
Pricey paintings, and sometimes guitars.
He neglected his tavern,
Which looked like a cavern.
Fin’lly caught, he is now behind bars.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR Limerick:
“Don’t go running with knives,” parents warn.
Their children’s response? Often scorn:
“How ’bout scissors?” they query,
Which makes one mom weary:
“Should have stopped with my very first born.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
