My Confession (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m married, but still like to date.
It’s good for my marriage — no, great!
Now don’t be perturbed
Or concerned or disturbed.
The fellow I date is my mate.
(You can find more of my marriage humor and verse here.)
UPDATE: I’ve just learned that May is Date Your Mate Month. Of course my husband Mark and I like to celebrate it all year round. :)
Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is furniture and furnishings. First, my limerick:
Quick Story
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Quick story,” my husband declares.
“It’s short — I’m not kidding,” he swears.
But I know that he’s wrong.
He’ll be witty, but long.
How I wish I could find us some chairs.
And now two haiku (senryu):
Dad climbs into bed.
His poodle growls in protest.
Their turf war begins.
Sixty-year-old chair,
still covered in plastic,
protected from life.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about furniture and furnishings. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.
(Note: My poems were inspired by these three prompts: “being told a story,” “pets,” and “father / find.”)
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
| 1. SandyCarlson 2. Connie 3. Patricia (a/k/a Roswila) 4. Jade |
5. Linda – Nickers and Ink 6. Noah the Great 7. Noah the Great 8. Bevie |
9. Crafty Green poet 10. art predator |
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your furniture and furnishings verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
UPDATE 2: World Storytelling Day falls on the spring equinox in the northern hemisphere.
Sorry for my late posting. As I mentioned in my last post, I recently broke my wrist.
Today’s limerick, haiku, and senryu theme is sleep and insomnia. First, my limerick:
Sleepless In Bayside
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband can catnap at will,
And my jealous reaction is shrill.
My insomnia’s bad —
Just can’t help getting mad,
Cuz his snores can be heard in Brazil.
And now my haiku or senryu:
I watch my husband
Sleep hour after hour.
What is his secret?
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about sleep and insomnia. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have a whole week to post it.
(Note: My poems were inspired by these three prompts: “catnap, “my nights” and “when I watch you.”)
Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants
| 1. gautami tripathy 2. lissa 3. Granny Smith 4. Crafty Green Poet |
5. Bevie 6. Noah the Great 7. Noah the Great 8. Bevie |
9. Mary’s Madness 10. art predator 11. Connie |
UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your sleep and insomnia verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.
Romance — A Foreign Concept?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Instead of your long-winded rants,”
Says the gal, “I’d prefer some romance.”
Then her husband replies
With a glint in his eyes:
“Tell me, where do you think you are — France?”
(Inspired by the “Romance” prompt over at Totally Optional Prompts. And speaking of prompts, there’s still time to give my “bad jobs” prompt a try.)
Miss Dating? Not me!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Before I was married I dated
Hardly ever, cause dating I hated.
Then I met hubby Mark,
Which created a spark.
Elated, we dated and mated.
(For more date-related poems, visit Sunday Scribblings)
NOTE: If you like to write limericks or haiku, give my new poetry prompt a try. My latest topic is right on the money.
Eyeing a road sign
That says, “Turn Right,” he turns left.
It turns out, he’s right.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: The “he” in this haiku is my husband, Mark. He’ll freely admit to being a bit perverse. He’ll also (legitimately) brag about his great sense of direction.
I eyed this prompt and used this road sign to write this haiku.
I usually don’t use the New York Post as a source of scientific info. But this report on brain differences between men and women is very interesting. (Hat tip to Kalilily.net)
Here’s an excerpt:
In her book, the Columbia professor explores the chemistry of male and female brains – and, using up-to-the-minute medical research, reinforces some cherished “Men Are From Mars” stereotypes:
* Women remember better – even things that happened a really long time ago.
* Men are better at map-reading. They also get turned on a lot easier.
* Women thrive on talking and spending time in groups; men like to do things on their own.
But all this isn’t quite as simple as it sounds. For example: A woman’s brain is, in fact, about 10 percent smaller than a man’s, even when factoring in physical size difference – but it also has a lot more going on, neuron-connection-wise.
In other words, writes Legato, “women get more brain bang for the buck.”
Thanks to Stone Age wiring, women also have a far greater capacity for understanding speech and body language, and have “elephantine” memories, especially when it comes to negative experiences.
***
Men are better than women at focusing on one task and completing it. Women’s brains excel at multi-tasking, which like many of their traits has origins in childbearing: “You’re not just going to sit and stare at your baby. You have to process a demand from your child and move on to different tasks.” In the brain, this means more connections across the corpus callosum, which divides the brain into two halves.
As you can see from that New York Post article’s dateline, it only took me a year to celebrate our differences with a poem:
Vive La (Brain) Différence!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We gals and guys are diff’rent—
You must know that old cliché.
Now some scientists have proven
That our wiring’s night and day.
The brains of men are larger,
Which shall surely make them proud.
Will it hurt gals in the workplace—
Only big-brained folks allowed?
But women’s brains have neurons
Whose connectors are first-rate.
We are multi-tasking mavens,
And our memory’s just great!
With diff’rences so striking
(Guys and gals, I mean to say)
Our commingling’s quite amazing.
I’m surprised we all ain’t gay.
(You can find my feminist humor here.)
=========
The Definitive Bad Date (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A salty young gal is enraged
When she learns that her date is engaged,
So she curses the fellow—
Spews hate with a bellow,
Then shoots. Guess her anger ain’t staged.
NOTE: This limerick was loosely inspired by the inaugural edition of Totally Optional Prompts, which is an outgrowth of the late, lamented Poetry Thursday.
(You can find more of my dating humor here.)
Chick Flick Flack
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When a film’s called a chick flick, it’s meant
To appeal to most women. How bent!
I’m a gal through and through,
But those flicks make me boo,
While my husband applauds. What a gent!
(You can find more of my marriage humor here and my feminist humor here.)
Taking Our Marriage’s Temperature
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband and I can agree
On most everything—“a” straight through “z”.
But as husband and wife
We suffer much strife
Over temp settings—heat and AC.
(We argue over our TV’s remote control too, but it refuses to rhyme.)
Update: Air Conditioning Appreciation days run from July 3 to August 15.
My husband Mark and I were never meant to own a motor boat. Why not? Any couple who can’t figure out how to open their car hood, should probably stick to something propelled by oars. And we surely would have done just that, had the prior owner of our weekend home not made it a package deal. If we wanted his irresistible house, we’d have to spring for his 120 horse power boat — perfect for anyone whose idea of relaxation is charging across a rocky three mile lake at the speed of screams.
OUR FIRST TIME OUT: My husband — a man who can build a wood stove fire in a flash, who whips up gourmet feasts in fifteen languages — couldn’t figure out how to unhook the boat’s cover. Refusing my help, he struggled for an hour. Victorious at last he hurled the cover off, in the process spilling gallons of water all over the boat.
By then I was ready to bail out. But Mark handed me a pail, and we spent the next 45 minutes heaving water overboard. Once all the water was safely under the boat, it was time to begin boating. I optimistically climbed onto our 16 footer, while my husband worked the knots from ashore. A former boy scout, he did this rather well. So well, that the boat (free at last) started to drift without him. …. (Motor Boating Just Isn’t Our Speed continues here.)
No Sweat Divorce (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“My husband and I are estranged,”
Said the wife, “’cause he acts so deranged.
His behavior’s aberrant
And vexingly errant.
I wish he could just be exchanged.”
(Can you imagine if divorce were as easy as shopping? And no, this isn’t autobiographical … although I do enjoying poking fun at my wonderful husband from time to time.)
Belated Apology
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Your apology’s rather belated,”
Said the gal to a fellow she hated.
“Your delay makes me fear
That it isn’t sincere—
You still had your hair when we dated!”
*****
UPDATE: October 14 is Be Bald And Free Day.
Surmounting Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Before agreeing to marry my husband Mark, I asked him the usual questions:
Mark told the appropriate fibs, I pretended to believe him, and several months later we wed. But soon after the wedding, I realized I’d forgotten to ask the most important question of all: When you see a mountain, do you get an irresistible urge to do something stupid? (Surmounting Marriage is continued here.)
Litigation Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“You don’t care about others. You’re callous,”
Said the plaintiff, with undisguised malice.
“Well, you haven’t been sweet,”
He replied in a beat,
“Since the night that we wed, my dear Alice.”
A Take-Charge Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We’re both bossy, my husband and I.
Domineering, some say with a sigh.
But though some might disparage
A two-bosses marriage,
Each day is the Fourth of July.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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