Archive for the ‘Animal & Pet Humor’ Category
Saturday, September 12th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using DUCK at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
An underpaid man liked to duck
Out of work, buck his boss, run amok.
He’d go hunting for game–
Any bird you could name–
Though his favorite target was buck.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Competition Limerick, Game Hunting, Hunting Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Workplace & Career Humor | 73 Comments »
Tuesday, September 8th, 2015
Some facts are self-evident, including the results of this study of cats.
Researchers Belabor The Obvious (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Does a cat miss its owner and pout?
Just in case you were feeling some doubt,
Felines ain’t like a hound,
A study has found.
It took science to figure this out?
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Cat Humor, Dog Humor, Feline Verse, Research Limerick, Science Humor, Scientific Research, Scientific Studies, Scientists
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Science Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, August 26th, 2015
For National Dog Day, a 2-Verse Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Canine friends are my subject today,
And I love to watch dogs on display,
Never letting you down.
I can’t see why you’d frown
Near a puppy that just wants to play.
Ev’ry pooch needs a human to love.
(People swear they’re a gift from above.)
Always loyal and sweet–
Lets you know: “Time to eat!”
So line up to adopt and don’t shove.
Tags: Acrostic Limerick, Acrostic Poems, Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, August Holidays, Dog Humor, Dog Verse, National Dog Day, Odd Holidays, Puppy Poetry
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on For National Dog Day, A 2-Verse Acrostic Limerick
Saturday, April 18th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using “VET” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
On a trip with his dog to the vet,
A fellow attempted to pet
A fish-lover’s guppy.
“That isn’t a puppy,”
Yelled the vet, who was doggone upset.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Veterinarians, Vetting Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 92 Comments »
Thursday, April 2nd, 2015
Use Your Noodles, Guys! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow with oodles of cash
Met a slut at a dog-lovers bash.
She’d borrowed a poodle.
Her target? His boodle.
Their canoodling was pricey and rash.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Canoodle, Dog Verse, Dogs Verse, Greed Humor, Kanoodling, Money Poems, Money Verse, Poodle Humor, Rash Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Bawdy Limericks, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor | Comments Off on Use Your Noodles, Guys! (Limerick)
Monday, February 2nd, 2015
There’s been a Groundhog Day rules change at the Staten Island Zoo, in the wake of last year’s groundhog death at the klutzy hands of Mayor Bill de Blasio:
Staten Island Chuck the Groundhog Lives (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Seems the zoos of New York had their fill
Of Mayor-caused Groundhog Day-kill.
Last year’s groundhog is dead,
So “no holding,” they said.
“We are Chucking your touching rights, Bill.”
Tags: Bill de Blasio, Chuck the Groundhog, February Holidays, Groundhog Day, Groundhog Humor, Holiday Humor, New York City, Seasonal Humor, Staten Island Chuck, Staten Island Zoo, Winter Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Seasons Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, January 5th, 2015
Happy “National Bird Day!”
A birder who’d frequently swear
His toupée was in fact his real hair,
Was caught by a gust,
And his toupe, not just mussed,
Flew the coop, leaving pate rather bare.
*****
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.” —
People tell me that all of the time.
Such axioms give me a pain in the tush.
Were I queen, I would make them a crime.
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Aphorism Humor, Axioms, Bird Humor, Birds, January Holidays, Odd Holidays, Quatrain Humor, Quatrains
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Aphorisms, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Quatrains Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, December 13th, 2014
Happy “National Day of the Horse.”
Till I’m hoarse, I of course shall endorse
The “National Day of the Horse.”
On the racecourse or farm
Or police force, what charm!
(It had better not be your main course.)
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Verse, December Holidays, Equine Humor, Horse, Horse Humor, Odd Holidays
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 1 Comment »
Saturday, November 1st, 2014
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was grabbing some grub…*
or
A fellow would frequently grub…*
or
A scientist studied a grub…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Grub
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A cabby was grabbing some grub
At a bar in a neighboring hub,
When he noticed his eggs
Appeared to have legs.
From now on, he’ll steer clear of this pub.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Food Humor, Grub Humor, Grubs, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 50 Comments »
Thursday, October 9th, 2014
Python Massage? What Kind Of Snake Oil Are They Selling? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A python massage? Thanks, but no!
It’s relaxing, you claim? I say whoa!
If it’s torture I’m after
(Now please hold your laughter)
Then off to the gym I shall go.
If you want a complimentary python massage, all you have to do is visit the Philippines Zoo.
Tags: Exercise Humor, Massage Humor, Philippines Zoo, Python Massage, Pythons, Relaxation Humor, Snake Limericks, Zoo humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Exercise Humor, Limericks, Travel Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, September 16th, 2014
This “dog dancing the Merengue video” is so good, Mark and I may never try to Latin-dance again.
At Merengue we aren’t too swift.
Latin dancing? We haven’t the gift.
Any skill we once had
Went from middling to bad.
Yes it’s gone to the dogs, and I’m miffed.
Tags: Ballroom Dance, Ballroom Dancing Humor, Dance Humor, Dancing Dog, Dancing Humor, Dogs Humor, Latin Dancing, Merengue
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Dance Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on We Don’t Have A Dog’s Chance Of Dancing Like That (Limerick)
Saturday, September 6th, 2014
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was tempted to flee…*
or
A dog owner spotted a flea…*
or
A man who would not hurt a flea…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Fleeing Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was tempted to flee
While enjoying a sexual spree,
Cuz an absence of tact
Interfered with the “act”–
He distinctly heard someone’s “Tee-hee!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Competition Limerick, Flea Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Forms | 76 Comments »
Thursday, August 21st, 2014
Elephant Dung Coffee Beans? I’ll Pass! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
This brew concept’s hard to digest.
It’s a crappy plan — far from the best:
Amp up elephant mash
With coffee beans. Rash?
Grab a stool and retrieve. Have a fest!
*****
Yes, Canadian entrepreneur Blake Dinkin produces Black Ivory Coffee in Thailand’s “Golden Triangle” via elephant dung. Of course his website describes it rather more genteelly as “Naturally refined by elephants and made from 100% Thai Arabica coffee beans.”
*****
I previously wrote about Chinese panda-dung giftware on my other blog.
Tags: Caffeine Humor, Coffee Beans, Coffee Drinks Humor, Coffee Verse, Dung Humor, Elephant Dung, Elephant Humor, Excrement Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Inventions Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Elephant Dung Coffee Beans? I’ll Pass! (Limerick)
Monday, August 18th, 2014
Some zoo visitors are unspeakably stupid!
Limerick Ode To A Giraffe Lover
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear giraffe-fan, invading the space
Of a youngish giraffe invites chase.
I don’t care that it kicked you,
Right after it licked you.
You’re lucky you still have a face.
For those who don’t know the story, it seems a California woman, who’s overly fond of giraffes, climbed into a giraffe exhibit at a Madison, Wisconsin zoo. At that point, a “2-year-old, 12-foot-tall giraffe named Wally gave [her] a lick, then turned and kicked her in the face.” But though giraffes can kill lions, her injuries aren’t life threatening.
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Giraffe Limerick, Stupidity, Zoo humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To A Giraffe Lover
Monday, July 28th, 2014
The Intruder (4-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s dark and we’re out on our deck.
My sandals are off and then… Heck!
I yell words rather worse
And I scream and I curse
And turn into a blubbering wreck.
For my toes had encountered some ooze
When I slipped my feet into my shoes.
Seems a large, squishy slug
Had crawled (like a bug)
In my sandal. I now need some booze.
I jump and run off to the sink.
About gook, I am raising a stink.
Mark examines my sandal
And freaks at the vandal;
That mollusk still lurks there, the fink!
“It’s gross and gigantic,” he yells.
“And it’s slimy. Like snails without shells.”
Then he acts like a hero
And wins. Mollusk zero!
In my sandal, it no longer dwells.
*****
Are you familiar with slugs? They’re gross-looking, squishy critters (sort of snails without shells.) Super disgusting!
Now imagine you’re sitting on your porch in the dark, watching a video when, unbeknownst to you, a slug crawls into one of your sandals.
Now picture absent-mindedly sliding your foot into that sandal.
Yes, I screamed at the top of my lungs.
And yes, Mark thought I was insane, until I made him look inside my sandal.
But Mark did ultimately redeem himself by disposing of that large, snake-like critter.
Tags: Animal Verse, Mollusks, Outdoor Activity Humor, Outdoors Humor, Slug Limerick, Snail Mail Limerick, Wildlife Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, July 16th, 2014
Are the “dog toys” pictured in this article really meant for canines? Or are they sex toys for humans? You be the judge. But if they turn you on, you can buy them on Amazon.
Sex Toys Are In The Eye Of The Beholder (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Too shy to buy sex toys? Oh my!
There’s an option you might want to try:
It seems some are disguised
As doggy toys — sized
And designed to give pleasure thereby.
Tags: Amazon Humor, Bawdy Humor, Canine Chew Toys, Canine Toys, Dog Toys, Sex Toys, Shopping Verse
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Bawdy Limericks, Limericks, Shopping Humor | Comments Off on Sex Toys Are In The Eye Of The Beholder (Limerick)
Friday, June 20th, 2014
If the thought of dogs at work gives you pause, you might want to play hooky on “Take Your Dog To Work Day.” It’s celebrated each year on the first Friday after Father’s Day, so this year it falls on June 20th.
Limerick Ode To “Take Your Dog To Work Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Do you hear any barking at work?
If so, you’re not going berserk.
“Take Your Dog To Work” days
Can cause canine arrays
Once a year. It’s a white collar perk.
(If you prefer, there’s always Take Your Parents To Work Day.)
Tags: Animal Verse, Canine Humor, Career Poem, Dog Verse, Employment Humor, June Holidays, Odd Holidays, Take Your Dog To Work Day, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Poetry
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Workplace & Career Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, June 14th, 2014
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
An employee who needed okays…*
or
A fellow was dating two Kays…*
or
The races he likes are 5Ks…*
or
I was stumped by a word with three Ks…*
or
Never act without getting okays…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Okays
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A horse trainer needed okays,
But his boss kept him waiting for days.
Those delays made him bridle:
“That hack is so idle!”
In response he was saddled with nays.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
UPDATE: March 23 is OK Day.
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Training, Competition Limerick, Employment Humor, Horse, Horse Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, OK Day, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 71 Comments »
Wednesday, March 19th, 2014
Happy Poultry Day!
Limerick Ode To Poultry Day (March 19)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The chickens and turkeys squawk, “Beat it!”
But they’re looking a wee bit defeated.
Though it’s Poultry Day, true,
It’s a day those birds rue,
Cuz the way we rejoice … is to eat it.
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Chicken Humor, Food Holidays, Food Humor, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Poultry Day, Turkey Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Poultry Day (March 19)
Thursday, March 6th, 2014
Not Chicken About Taking A Stand (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I feel bad about arrows and slings
That are suffered by chickens. This brings
Lots of tears to my eyes.
I choke up — no surprise.
And for that, I blame Buffalo wings.
(Buffalo Wings were invented 50 years ago on March 6, 1964, at Buffalo, New York’s Anchor Bar, by the tavern’s owner, Teressa Bellissimo.)
Tags: Anchor Bar, Bar Humor, Buffalo, Buffalo Wings, Chicken Humor, March Holidays, New York, Odd Holidays, Taverns, Teressa Bellissimo
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Not Chicken About Taking A Stand (Limerick)
