“Do I eat like a horse? Nay,” said Ray.
“So stop saying I do, right away!
I stand falsely accused
And feel bruised, yet amused,
For the truth is I never touch hay!”
Archive for the ‘Animal & Pet Humor’ Category
Naysayer Ray (Limerick)
Friday, December 1st, 2023The Sleuth And His Dog (Limerick)
Monday, November 6th, 2023A dog-loving sleuthhound named Kurt
Was a hardworking gumshoe and flirt.
Though his chow did no tricks,
She DID attract chicks…
And was handy at digging up dirt.
Hackle-Raising Laughs (Limerick)
Saturday, October 7th, 2023There is little that raises my hackles
Like someone who constantly cackles.
Raucous laughs hurt each ear,
So I’d sooner sit near
A hyena or large pack of jackals.
Neighborly Complaint (Limerick)
Thursday, June 8th, 2023Some fun with another new-to-me word:
Our neighbor just purchased a poodle,
Which does nothing but bark, yelp, and kyoodle.
The poor thing wants to play;
(It’s abandoned each day.)
But those yaps make it hard to canoodle!
Birding Gone Bad (Limerick)
Thursday, May 4th, 2023I was birding alone in a park,
When it suddenly got rather dark;
Though the forecast was “clear,”
Rain and hail were now here.
This was NOT my idea of a lark.
(Happy “Bird Day” — May 4.)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: BEAR or BARE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: May 27, 2023)
Saturday, April 29th, 2023It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using BEAR or BARE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to PREPARATION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best PREPARATION-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: RATING, BRAVE, BROAD, APPLE, QUARRELSOME.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 28, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 27, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my BEAR/BARE-Rhyme Limerick:
A generous fellow named Jack
Likes to give folks the shirt off his back.
But he doesn’t stop there;
He’ll undress until bare…
Which alas, got the poor man the sack.
And here’s my PREPARATION-Themed Limerick:
By now, we all know it’s essential
To prepare for a rainstorm torrential.
But at times, though we’re careful,
We end up despairful.
Never lowball a downpour’s potential!
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
A quarrelsome broad known as Maude
Would always refuse to applaud.
And no matter how great
A show was, she’d rate
It a “C,” then berate it as flawed.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
A Change Of Course (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 13th, 2022A gal’s parents, upset, then joined forces
In condemning her new choice of courses.
“I’ll be learning collage,
Equine health and dressage.”
“Bad idea,” they nagged. “Please hold your horses.”
(December 13th Is National Day Of The Horse. )
The Ex-Jogger (Limerick)
Sunday, November 27th, 2022A fellow who frequently jogs
Tripped over some badly placed logs.
He fell down, hit his noggin,
Which ended his joggin’.
His new hobby is verse about “frogs.”
It’s “National Dictionary Day!” (Limerick)
Sunday, October 16th, 2022It’s “National Dictionary Day,” which gives me a good excuse to post a limerick about another new-to-me term: “Dawn Chorus.”
(For the record, all the names have been changed to protect the guilty.)
“Let’s go back to that lovely ‘Fowl Inn,’”
Said my spouse, quite forgetting its din.
’Twas no use telling Boris
(A bull-headed Taurus)
That its dawn chorus drove us to gin.
*****
Happy birthday to American lexicographer Noah Webster, of dictionary compilation fame. He was born October 16, 1758.
Don’t Mess With Goats! (Limerick)
Sunday, October 9th, 2022If you goad, then escape from a goat,
And you’re planning to sue, please take note:
Flouting rules of a zoo
Can be foolish to do…
So your scapegoat success odds? Remote!
Buttering Up A Farmer (Limerick)
Sunday, October 2nd, 2022“After seeing your farm, I’m agog
At its beautiful pigpen. My dog
Doesn’t live half as well!
The big barn where pigs dwell
Is superb! They live high on the hog.”
*****
Happy World Farm Animals Day! (October 2)
A Dogged Quest (3-Verse Limerick)
Wednesday, September 28th, 2022A woman who wanted a pet
Became angry, perturbed, and upset:
She’d been told dog adoption
Was OUT as an option…
Cuz she spent too much time on the net.
She replied, “If the net’s bad, then why
Is your website the place we must buy
These sweet canines you say
Need a home? Still say ‘Nay?’
Any court will your ruling decry.”
Upon hearing her not-so-veiled threat,
The naysayer started to sweat.
Since his site can’t afford
To be sued, he’s on board.
Her new spaniel — Tibetan — great get!
*****
(Happy “World Pet Day” — September 28.)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: MIND or MINED or REMIND at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 15, 2022)
Saturday, September 17th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using MIND or MINED or REMIND at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BANKS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BANK-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: YAWN, CLAIM, SPORTS, LAZY, FEARLESS
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on October 16, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 15, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my MIND or MINED or REMIND-Rhyme Limerick:
A fellow was asked to help mind
A young dog by a gal in a bind.
But he said, “I’m tied up
And can’t help with that pup.”
The response she unleashed wasn’t kind.
And here’s my BANK-Themed Limerick:
A foolish young fellow named Frank
Had a low-level job in a bank.
When a gal asked for francs,
He informed her, “The ranks
Of this bank have just one, plus a Hank.
And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:
When the judge caught me yawning in court,
He accused me of being the sort
Of gal “who became
An Esq., just to claim
A husband, or simply for sport.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Sound Revenge (Limerick)
Saturday, September 3rd, 2022How can I resist using “bombilation” in a limerick?
Bombilation is driving me nuts,
And it comes from a home that abuts
My backyard. I complain,
But I’m met with disdain.
My revenge? A large doghouse with mutts.
Mutt Memories (Limerick)
Sunday, July 31st, 2022When I starting drafting this limerick, I meant it to be a National Mutt Day verse. But it seems to have turned into something else:
I had many a mutt growing up.
My fav’rite behaved like a pup
Well into old age.
And my husband, who’s sage,
Takes his lead from that dog. Clever? Yup!
A Recipe For Trouble (Limerick)
Saturday, May 21st, 2022An annoying acquaintance loves roe
And dishes all covered in dough.
He’ll eat beef by the herd
And most any old bird,
But he’ll always refuse to eat crow.
This Limerick’s For The Birds
Wednesday, May 4th, 2022Saw a lovely red bird near an inn.
And that beautiful sight brought a grin
To my face, till the bird
Let loose with a turd
On my tresses — a cardinal sin!
“Bird Day,” celebrated May 4, is one of several bird-related holidays. Other bird holidays include:
National Bird Day (January 5)
Northern Parrots National Cockatiel Day (May 20)
World Parrot Day (May 31)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: HEEL or HEAL at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: April 2, 2022)
Saturday, March 19th, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using HEEL or HEAL at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FLIGHT, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FLIGHT-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on April 3, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 2, 2022, at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my HEEL or HEAL-rhyme limerick:
Playing poker, Neil felt like a heel.
But he gambled with passionate zeal,
Using cash that was meant
For rent — ev’ry cent.
So his win was a very big deal.
And here’s my FLIGHT-themed limerick:
Our beagle’d chase felines with glee.
The game? Trap or make the cat flee.
But one day, Duke stood guard
For hours in our yard;
Seems our dog had barked up the wrong tree.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
This Insult Won’t Fly (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 2nd, 2022Today is “World Ostrich Day.” And according to the Reid Park Zoo, the “second of February (2/2) was chosen to celebrate these unique birds because they only have two toes per foot!”
And the other interesting thing about ostriches, is that the whole “bury their head in the sand” thing is a myth. And that brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:
The ostrich’s rep has been bruised,
And ostriches aren’t amused.
We have all been misled;
They don’t bury their head
In the sand. They are falsely accused.
So if someone you know tends to hide
From the facts, shield the ostriches’ pride.
It’s time to adapt;
Find an insult more apt
Than “ostrich” with which to deride.
My Brother’s Rabbit Habit (Limerick)
Sunday, January 30th, 2022My brother (Arthur Begun) and his wife (Janet) are both animal lovers. So this limerick tale is true:
My brother feeds bunnies for fun.
Though they’re wild, they stand by and don’t run;
As he doles out each plate,
They expectantly wait
For their carrots, till dinner is done.
